Nimbus
by Midori Aoi
Summary: This was more than a game of chess. Pushed against the edge of the board. Desperation is a cruel nail-Violence was its terrible hammer. People said that it only gets brighter after it rains, after the storm finally hits. But this was a storm with no end. "Please...Forgive me." Sequel to Thunder Clouds. Rivamika/Eruhan (multiple ships) Rated M.
1. Prologue

_Inspired Tracks: From the Assassin's Creed Revelations OST – Animus Island, Infiltration, and We Talk Together_

_In the year 854, The Monarchy passed a law to all the factions of the military. While Humanity celebrated its complete victory and liberation as prey for the Titans and uncovered the secrets within, it was faced with an all new kind of threat. The threat of extinction by their own hands. In order to ensure the survival of all who had outlived the victims of the Final Conflict, it had been decided that any and all officers that carried the capacity to procreate, were not invalided by the final war, and maintained the loyalty to the Crown, would be mandated to fill out a Survey of Compatibility. Such was the way of ensuring the strength of the next generations to come. However, discord threatens to rip through the last tethers that hold the government together, power struggles slowly consume the weaker minded… and while the Mandate itself was designed to ensure the control over humanity, humanity's very soul was never meant to be leashed._

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******Nimbus**

**Prologue**

* * *

There was a certain stench in the air. Acrid, vile, and just bearable enough to allow people near its vicinity but, not enough to keep them close for long. Breaths broke through several pairs of nostrils in uncomfortable bursts, all save for one. Dark blue eyes blinked, unwavering despite the foulness of the air and the silence ebbing from the other side of the prison bars that felt almost as violent as the stench threatened to become.

_The thing about putting an animal in a cage for most of its life is you'll come to notice how it often dreams of being free. It will stare out through the bars, miserable and at one point you will see it attempt to escape, chewing at the bars, rattling them to find a weakness in the stronghold… but then…little by little you'll notice how soon it grows to accept the cage. _

_When you finally open the cage door, you'd expect it would rush out. Only… it doesn't. _

There was a cough given by one of the guards, whether it was caused by the persistence of the smell or the uncomfortable atmosphere, who could tell. The sound echoed. Pronouncing each passing second of patience and seeming build to a spoken word between the two figures sitting opposite one another.

_It stays put, watching curiously and blinking, wondering if freedom is really there. If it has finally come. A flavor that they have been wondering for years and years on how it would be is finally there and suddenly… it's not quite as sweet as they had hoped. _

_It's subtle, but real. _

To the guards, it was a simple visit between soldiers. Both pronounced figure heads, one a hero, the other a usurper. The guess to who was which was as easy as a glance to take in their apparel. In this case, though, simple appearances would be wrong. Very wrong.

"Leave us." The command was given, surprisingly, not by the hero. Yet the soldiers exchanged one glance, nodded and filed out in a series of echoing steps that did nothing to lessen the tension thickening between them.

_Most of the time, you will see it slowly move forward, peek its head out and sniff the air. Eventually, you'll notice that it will take maybe one or two steps outside its cage and look about in wondering silence. Now, here's the interesting part because it honestly takes a couple of scenarios to see the point. _

"You summoned me," the owner of the blue eyes spoke, watching with thinly veiled curiosity.

Dark eyes rose from their position against the floor, burning with an intense hatred that was so strong, anyone else would've wilted beneath its fury. "Summoned? You mock me. Even now, you mock me. Have you no shred of human courtesy, Commander Erwin Smith?"

_In one case, the animal could be frozen for a short period of time before deeming their freedom as a good thing and they will take off, running forward and expanding their zone as much as possible. Like a beggar finally given food. _

There was no response from the Aryan, save a simple exhale that exposed nothing. This lack of reply seemed to infuriate the prisoner, making him lean forward from his rickety chair to burn violence against the bars and the man separating him from freedom. "Even now, you cannot even pull up enough dignity to give me a straightforward answer, can you?" he sneered.

_In the other, the animal could very suddenly return to the cage, spooked and not at all prepared to rush out and enjoy its freedom. _

"What do you want, Nile?" Erwin asked, betraying absolutely nothing to the jab. The ex-officer leaned away, shrugging casually as he leaned his head against the head of his chair.

"You cannot answer a question with a question, Erwin. That's no fair at all." Nile Dawke chuckled, nearly giggling with a strange hysteric undertone. Still, the blonde man refused to react.

_But why? _

There was another tense silence before Nile suddenly pushed himself up and grasped at his seat. Tugging it forward, the wood screeched against the stone brutally until the former Military Policeman slammed it back down, dangerously close to the bars and to the man waiting for him to speak.

_I'll tell you why. _

"I've been in here long enough, Commander." Nile sighed, leaning his head to rest against the bars. "I've lost count of the days, the seconds…the moments that bleed into each other without care for the rise or fall of a false sun…"

Erwin's blue eyes narrowed, "I'm sorry to hear your stay hasn't been pleasant."

_Because it all depends on the environment. See, once that animal realizes that the only safe place is within its cage, it will retreat to it and no longer do those bars represent restrictions, but sanctuary. And once the animal is certain this is truth…_

All too suddenly, Nile was pressing his face fiercely against the spaces between the metal. "You're apologies mean nothing to me, Commander." The man spat. "They mean nothing because you are responsible, we both know who should really be behind these bars, don't we?"

_It will probably never leave the cage out of its own wish again…_

Again, there is no response from Erwin save a simple glance of blank emotion. Nile pressed on, "It is I, who should be celebrated. Me! You used me and tricked me and because of you…I am dishonored. You!"

_And in the end…_

"You make such violent claims when all the evidence pointed to you." Erwin insinuated. Yet, despite the calmness of his voice, the unaffected gleam in his gaze, his fists still gave a small clench and his mouth gave a twitch that told the dishonored man he was completely affected. "Even now, the evidence points to you."

_It would choose to die within its cage, perfectly content to never have tasted different air and seen different things..._

A slick smile slowly melts through Nile's filthy lips, his eyes narrowing cruelly before asking, "Is this because of Maria?" There is a single pause where none exchange breath. This was a low blow. One that made the darkness of Erwin's eyes only tighten in an almost threatening gleam. In the space of dim lighting and dank atmosphere, the expression was lost on Nile as his lips curled into a vicious smile—taking Erwin's silence as an admission. "Even now, you can't let go of the fact that I married her?"

"I am not a petty man, Nile," Erwin replied evenly. "The coup was investigated thoroughly. Letters were found. You failed."

"That was _YOUR PLAN!_" Nile roared, throwing himself to the bars and clawing at them until his fingers bled, spittle flying from his mouth as he attempted to reach the blond Commander. Erwin did not even blink. "YOU were responsible! YOU wanted to take over the government! It was you!" He cursed, wroth and nearly foaming with such seething anger. "We both know the truth, Erwin! But instead of admitting defeat, you _used me_ to save your own wretched ass! You did this and I will not sleep until I see your face properly rotting in a cell darker than mine!"

_All because it was too afraid. Because its soul had been broken._

Erwin face was a perfect slate of flat emotion; unaffected, bored. This seemed to infuriate the imprisoned man to an even higher extreme and he was shaking the bars and beating them with bloodied fists as he spat insults and violence through his darkened teeth. "Coward! Usurper! You! YOU!"

_The desire to fight all too gone after years of wearing its teeth down on metal bars and voice gone from having shouted until it had gone mute. _

It took three minutes. Three minutes until Nile collapsed to his knees, gasping and wheezing angry grunts and broken sobs. Three minutes and Erwin was standing to his feet, blinking at the former Military Policeman's body without pity, without mercy. There was no cruelty or malice in his expression, however. Just the simple cold observance of a man watching another crumble to his darkest shells.

"…I will be in touch." Erwin stated after a moment. "Do not get used to your cell, Nile."

He didn't give the man any more attention after that, and with a swift turn of his leather boots Erwin was marching out of the prison cell. Footsteps echoed past him yet Nile made no more cries against him, and it was that sound that proceeded to end whatever meeting they had left.

…_But we can't allow that… can we, Erwin? _

_No, Hanji._ Erwin thought as he strode past the guards and the door they opened for him before saluting firmly. _We cannot. _The sound of his feet colliding with the ground was the only sound that followed him as he walked down the prison's halls. When he did escape the enclosed spaces of stone and brick, Erwin was met by the silver casting of the evening's dim moonlight.

There was no mercy in the moon. Not this night. Not when there were secrets weighing in the heart… accusations still burning within his ears and shooting knives at the base of his head…

Where once, it's large and silver face would cast a gentle glow over the land much like a loving guardian keeping watch while those in bed were cast in dreams and the whimsical twinkling of starlight, it would bring soft light through the crevices of carelessly thrown curtains, offering a silent promise of protection and even blessing over thrashing bodies giving in to throes and cries of passion all because _I can't ignore you. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow night. But not now…_ In the dark, moonlight had been a simple cast of silver that enlightened curves and heated gleams in eyes that were too drunk in each other to care for impending doom and quickening fate…

Now…

Now there was no face.

Only a sliver of a grin hanging in the sky; betraying all trust and laughing without mercy at the fools who had believed in the promise of its fullness.

She was not with him tonight. Her lack of presence casts such contrasting emotions through a broad chest and dark blue eyes. Longing, because if there were ever a time he needed her it was _right now. Especially now. _After having to face an old demon that refused to wait. Yet, there was a grateful acceptance as well, because if there were ever a time he could not possibly handle looking into her eyes it was _right now. _All because of one _single _symbol hidden within the folds of his pockets.

How is it… that this single symbol – a stretch of curves and dips in color – could burn such a bitter hatred in his heart? Single, red, and displaying the proud animal that the Monarchy had only ever heard stories about in old history books. Once—long ago—blue eyes had marveled at its creative genius, at the ability of using such an interesting creature to embody an ideal—to stand for protection and order, he had grown to bow to its simple design only to slowly gather venom to spit at its feet. In the past few weeks—more like the past few years—the symbol had changed. Not in style or detail, but in meaning to all those who had fought under its control. Its face no longer carried the visage of order and power that its keepers and enforcers had once believed in.

Now, it seemed to stare into the eyes of each man and women stripped of their ethical freedom with the same gaze a snake would give to a cornered mouse.

Personally, Erwin had believed he had attained a kind of immunity to its appearance, a sort of detached appraisal per se. As he had called in soldier after soldier, delivering the news of their match and who would be spending the rest of their lives with whom in raising a child (maybe more) because it was _necessary_ rather than hoped for. The Commander of the 13th Legion of the Survey Corp had been able to exact a surgical disinterest with each revelation of names and destiny.

Of course, _that_ came with no difficulty to his part at all. To him, it was just reading names out loud. To him, it was only calling a verdict without realizing the extent of the sentence. He had dabbled in being called a murderer for the sake of ensuring Humanity's Survival. Literally, the blood of hundreds of soldiers stained his hands and all of their names were marked in deep black over the pounding of his heart, darkening his blood and drowning him in an emotional darkness. He knew that had been necessary. The day the last of the Titans had fallen and thousands more saved, Erwin knew that all that sacrifice had not been in vain. For a while, it seemed as all those names were finally lifted from the wrangled organ, pulsing slowly purifying blood through his veins. In the end… all those lives had counted.

Yet, his liberation, his freedom from the shackles of guilt and lives lost was as short-lived as was his hope for marrying the woman who gave him reason to let himself smile again.

So quickly had he been given air to breathe only to be forced back under the weight of new names, different lives now horrifically forced to bow down over an unspoken right to choose who to love and who to live with. He had truly believed that, like he had been able to shoulder the lives of many lost in the fight against their predators, he had enough strength and experience to shoulder this new situation.

But that was, obviously, an idiotic idea. It seemed life thought so too, and scorned him of his ability to detach himself because now, he was forced to understand the rage of all those new names and eyes and faces, _because right now_—in this moment—he felt it all as clearly and as powerfully as if it was his own.

And it was his own.

That hateful symbol was etched and painted over a slim white surface of a file hidden under a cloak that carried his fate and the face of the woman that would be called to be his wife until the end of his days.

_To Commander of the 13__th__ Legion of the Survey Corp, _

_Erwin Smith, _

_We extend a hand of gratitude for the duties you have completed for your people, government and King. With much expressed admiration, we would like to also thank you for giving such skill over to the Military, specifically your leadership to the Survey Corp. Without your efforts, many lives would have been lost and we further extend gratitude for your ongoing loyalty to the Crown in participating in this mandate. _

Some say the world will end in fire… others say in ice.

Did it burn? Did this rage burn through his veins? Erwin wasn't sure, it was seldom he felt the emotion unravel him. But if there was time to compare, he could easily side it to a freezing in his veins. A stillness unlike any he had ever felt before had spread to every cell in his body, as if the very news standing before him had cast him in a timeless void where all that stood and glued him to reality was the name and the picture of the end to his freedom.

Firm hands pressed tight over the wood of a polished desk. Blue eyes stared, unblinking and lacking all the previous euphoria he had felt in his body from being so close to her again.

No longer will the moon glance down over their bodies again and be a silent witness to their love filled words and gasps of wild and careless self abandon.

Now it was grinning down. Just one sliver of a hateful grin as terrible as the crimson mark staining his future.

Time was up.

* * *

_Ice…_

_Fire…_

_What's the difference between them anymore when the main concern was trying not to drown in the deluge that made no show of ending any time soon?_

* * *

_A/N: Get your wine, chocolate and tissues, ladies and gents. This is going to be a rough feels ride._


	2. I: The Fall of Leaves

_A/N: This is it, ladies and gents. The beginning of Nimbus is upon us. I would like to thank all of you for helping out thus far with your kinds words and encouragements throughout the process of Thunder Clouds. I am much obliged. Special thanks for my Beta: Biby.  
As a warning this story has multiple relationships: Primarily, Rivamika and Eruhan. Established ships thus far are JeanSasha, ConniexOC, and KuriAru. More ships will be added upon the story's progression._

_side note: In this story, Erwin still has both his arms since by the time TC was close to concluding we found out he had lost an arm. So... a bit late to change a few things. Whatever, this is practically AU anyway. *shrug*_

_Disclaimer: I own no character in the universe of Snk. I do, however, like to use them as emotional guinea pigs._

**_This chapter's inspired tracks are: Istanbul, Welcome to Konstantiniyye and Byzantium from the Assassin's Creed Revelations OST_**

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**Nimbus  
****-:_I_:-**

**The Fall of Leaves**

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_"…The leaves are all falling, and they're falling like __they're falling in love with the ground."  
__-Andrea Gibson_

_by Midori Aoi_

* * *

Blonde strands felt like silk falling through slender fingers, blue eyes blinking with awe as she watched the tresses slip through her hands to fall back over the soft pillow beneath them. It was fascinating to see how light liked to play with things, making them glow in strange angles or making them glisten like starlight. Right now, all Krista saw was wonderful starlight dancing through her fingers the more she ran them through her beloved's hair.

It was strange that it looked so different when that same color spread over her own scalp and ended past her shoulders, but it did.

If she had to decide what light she liked best over his head, it was this light. The light of early morning, as it was still gentle enough to not blind, yet bright enough to allow every little detail go unmissed. Although, it was probably more because it was in this early morning that the young, petite blonde could stare shamelessly and without care for other's opinions—and also the fact that Armin was still deep in sleep and oblivious to her ministrations over his long hair.

For a time, she picked out the strands that stood out among the rest, letting their slightness slip over her skin to fall back against his. With a sigh, Krista slowly rose from his embrace to rest on her elbows, feeling her own hair shift from her nape to fall behind her as she loomed over his dreaming expression. Slowly, she shifted the same hand that had been playing with his hair to brush invading bangs out of his eyes and forehead, letting dainty fingers brush over the closed lids and softer lips.

When all golden strands had been successfully removed from her beloved's face, Krista began to retract her wandering limb only to freeze over his jaw when he softly spoke, "Don't stop."

Scarlet bloomed roses over the apples of her cheeks and her heart gave a sudden jump before bursting into a gallop, surprised that she had woken him and that he had so easily startled her. His breathing hadn't changed or anything…!

"You're supposed to be sleeping," She hummed, sheepishly breathing out her embarassment in quick bursts through her nostrils. "Did I wake you?"

Armin's eyes remained close even as a smile pushed the corners of his lips upward, "Yes, and it was the best 'wake up' I've enjoyed in a long time."

She didn't have a chance. A warm smile was soon quickly dominating her lips and making her feel strangely shy, her fingers falling from his face to grab the covers and hide. That didn't last long, either. Swiftly, his hand rose and caught the slender palm that still tingled pleasantly with the feel of his glittering hair.

She let out a soft gasp of surprise, "A-Armin…!"

"You stopped," His voice came out teasing and the blush on her face intensified. "I didn't want you to."

Krista pouted, "You weren't supposed to wake up."

Finally, those beautiful blue eyes blinked open to search her own, the smile taking on a goofy tilt the more he looked her over. The lurch of embarrassment only proceeded to skyrocket under his syrupy gaze, yet Krista knew better than to hide from his eyes' careful wanderings. He would only pin her down and press teasing digits into her sides and discover tickle spots that would leave her squealing with mortifying glee. With a sigh, the right corner of his mouth tipped up into her favorite crooked grin and she knew that if he kept this up, her heart will be the next thing choking her.

"I might still be sleeping," He whispered, "Because this has definitely got to be a dream."

The fact that even worked…When in the hell did he get so disgustingly suave?

"You are so unbelievably full of it," Krista grumbled, pointedly looking away to obscure her self-consciousness from his scrutiny. It was too late, anyway. He had her wrapped around his pinky and it only took a few clever words and lazily batting eyelashes before she was absolute putty in his arms. She could only imagine his power on their wedding night.

Ah… yes, that's right.

He was going to be her husband in one month's time. Just one month. It's a marvel time didn't leave her feeling completely whiplashed after all that's happened…

In the blink of an eye, Armin had shifted to lean on his elbow and toss an arm over her belly, effectively making her collapse beneath him. Krista only had enough time to gasp before being pinned beneath a wicked grin and twinkling blue eyes.

"Of course, I am." He agreed and that same hair she had so meticulously pulled away fell around them like a curtain of molten gold. "I'm marrying the perfect woman. A lesser man would've probably exploded and died with the joy of such a privilege."

"Thank you for the delightful image to start off the day," she returned, rolling her eyes despite the way her heart was galloping excitedly. "I now know to make sure no other man gets near me for their own safety."

"I wouldn't let any other man make the attempt," he chuckled. He really shouldn't do that. She felt it right in her chest when he did that and it was making it impossibly hard not to flip him over and ravage him then and there. It was as if he was trying to make it hard, making the promise they had made to wait until their wedding night to finally consummate their love feel like such a chore to follow. Damn him.

With a firm frown, Krista fixed him her sturdiest glare, "Armin, you keep this up and I won't hesitate to punch you."

The bastard had the nerve to blink innocently at her, "Keep what up?"

"Armin."

"What? I'm only pointing out the sheer and utter happiness I have for being so close to marrying the woman of my dreams, nothing wrong with that, right?" All too suddenly, his hand was tracing lazy patterns on her side, rubbing and grazing over a clothed belly that was now trembling beneath his every flick and flutter. Breath quite devastatingly hitched in her throat, Krista bit down on her lips. Her glare was falling apart now, she was quickly losing the upper hand here. Like she ever had it to begin with.

"I'm w-warning you," she breathed and her hands were clenching tight over the white sheets, shuddering something fierce when his eyes half closed into a definitively seductive glint. "Armin…"

"Yes, Historia?" He hissed, nuzzling her cheek with his nose and letting the breath of his mouth tingle over her ear. The ability and finesse in which he played jump rope with her boundary line was leaving her more and more infinitely frustrated and it only became worse whenever he used her real name like that against her. She wasn't sure whether she hated him or wanted him to let those teasing hands finally tear her clothes off and allow her fingers to rake and tug and yank at that gorgeous golden hair until they were both screaming. Damn him.

"I'm going to…" She was panting now, trembling and writhing under each touch. One glance and she could see the excitement rise in his blue eyes, pink tongue darting out to moisten soft lips and make her want to rip something in half. Not if I have a say in it.

"Going to…?" Armin hummed, leaning closer to brush his nose gently against hers playfully. In one swift and surprising moment, Krista had gathered enough strength to wrap a leg over his waist and throw a hand over his shoulder before rapidly tossing her betrothed on his back. Armin let out a very startled gasp the moment their bodies bounced on the mattress, his movements ceasing the moment he watched the normally shy girl transform into the fierce woman she was right now. Her hands had found his wrists as she pinned him to the pillows and a sneaky grin curled over pink and plump lips.

After a moment of particularly thick sexual tension, Krista's smile broadened before announcing in an overly cheerful voice, "I'm going to get some breakfast." With a kiss to his nose, she released him before peeling herself off and flouncing off his bed before his hands could scramble to grab her.

As expected, Armin let out a dramatic sigh of disappointment, "You are unshakable, woman."

"Just one month, Armin," She cooed over her shoulder, running a hand over her bed-tossed hair and winking at him saucily. "Patience is a virtue."

"You are worth every second!" He called after she snatched up her things and sashayed out of his room, but not before rushing over and pressing a swift kiss over his lips. Just to settle the score a little bit more. The door slid shut before he could attempt to throw her back onto his bed and with a soft groan, Armin felt his back meet his mattress once more, smiling giddily to himself at the reminder of being so close to claiming Krista as his.

With practiced silence, Krista made her way down the slowly filling hallways in the direction of her quarters. Despite her engagement, the girl still had a room to look after and while she may have several of her belongings taking space within the confines of Armin's bedroom (and vice versa) she still needed to change her uniform before more people got involved into their personal lives than they already did.

Of course, with the circulation of Captain Levi and Mikasa's finalized relationship spilling from every gossiping soldier's mouth, Krista wasn't too worried about her business popping up in the grapevine. Those two were the closest thing to celebrities the Survey Corp had. Rumors of their skill and efficiency as Humanity's Strongest had sparked quite the question of whether or not they would flourish romantically.

Amusing as it was, the fact that even soldiers were so eagerly swayed by news of love and romance, when word got out that not only were they matched (which came to no one's surprise at all) but so immediately affianced shortly afterward, the entire castle nearly exploded with bright news and happy congratulations. However true their military dynamic was, no one had expected them to have fallen in love quite so abruptly.

Then again, with how everything has been, the focus hadn't really been garnered to such a consideration. Even those closest to them had been taken aback by the fiery rage of passion that sparked between them after that day in the rain.

Of course, some people weren't quite shocked as they were pleasantly surprised. Krista being one of them.

Call it a gift, or maybe some kind of intuitive ability, but Krista had been able to detect the strange sparks of affinity between them since long before their relationship was realized. She had been able to effortlessly catch the sexual tension beginning to tie Jean and Sasha together, but they're both idiots and didn't realize any of that until she gave Sasha a much needed push.

Levi and Mikasa, however… that was something she knew if she had stuck her fingers in she would've most likely ended up getting burned. Lucky for her, she kept her nose out of it and, and while it took time… it worked out in the end.

Now, they—like her and Armin—were engaged to be married.

Although, the news of their actual wedding date did leave many spinning and reeling with confusion. When Levi had proposed the same day they were matched, most of everyone was convinced the marriage would occur just as quickly only to be surprised in knowing the date would not be until next spring.

"They probably just need some time to get to know each other better…" Armin had shrugged when the topic came up during supper, two nights after the famous proposal.

"Isn't that the point of marriage?" Connie quipped in return, bouncing a fork in rhythm to his words as he fixed Armin a flat stare.

"With that logic, why don't you and Li tie the knot already?" Jean smirked through a large bite of the evening's meatloaf, "Seems like you two need the most time getting to know each other better."

Sasha's elbow quickly met his ribs despite the satisfied grin on the taller soldier's face. The buzz cut's face soured despite the flush burning through his cheeks as he turned an unamused glare on Jean. At Connie's side sat the very auburn haired woman in question. Their shoulders were a clean two feet apart in distance, as if not wanting to cross into each other's space more than necessary.

"Why don't you and Braus, eh, Kirschstein?" Li's vibrant green eyes flashed sharply once despite the monotone of her statement. "Especially since you seem so eagerly keen in getting to know the sounds Braus makes when she's rubbing herself on your lap every night." Instantly, Jean's face flushed a bright scarlet and Sasha nearly choked on a bite of bread. The nature of her statement seemed to have sent the entire table into a fit of sputtering, save Connie—who was hiding a wide grin behind his palm and attempting to keep nonchalant.

"I have no idea what you're talking about…" Jean stammered, scowling as swallowed down his food in an attempt at being casual.

"Sure you don't." Li replied, casually biting into a slice of potato.

"In any case," Armin coughed while Krista stifled a giggle behind a dainty hand. "Some people just need more time. I'm just glad our wedding doesn't have to compete with theirs." He added with a wink to his fiancé.

True enough, Krista shared the same sentiment. She didn't particularly find a huge desire to host a very large wedding (the only ones they invited had been close friends and the heads of state that apparently had to be there in order to ensure the authenticity of their wedding vows), however, it wouldn't have done well if her wedding was obscured by someone else's marriage. It was her big day, after all.

And it was only one month away.

In the cool light of morning, Krista bounced her way toward her room and changed her clothes with a definite spring in her step and extra glow in the apples of her cheeks. Brushing a comb through the quick-giving tangles of her blonde hair, she hummed happily to herself as she allowed the joy of her imminent vow to uphold Armin as her husband pressed wings on her heart and sent her flying.

Taking a short moment to stop by her nightstand, the petite woman paused as she gazed at a simple hair-clip that had once belonged to Ymir. It was a simple memento and memory of love lost. She had spent many hours drawing quivering digits over the plain details of the simple object, even allowing Armin to watch as she did so when they spoke in hushed tones in the dark confines of her room. Krista's smile softened into one of tender sadness as she lifted the familiar and gently time worn piece of happiness and let her fingers run over the same ridges that had once held the hair of the woman loved her so fiercely that she gave no thought than sacrificing herself in order to protect her.

"I may not be with you, Ymir…" She whispered as she let slim fingers caress over its smooth surface, "But I hope that with time, you will accept Armin…as much as I have."

Lifting the clip to her lips, Krista gently reminisced a time when she had felt the woman's lips over her own—if only for the fraction of a second—before placing the hair accessory back in its place and the young blonde woman turned and headed out her door toward the mess hall, bright countenance and happy sighs making her glow.

One month more… and everything will be utterly perfect.

* * *

Air burst through gently parted lips from the cover of a forearm. Eren's eyes studied the view before him with indecipherable expressions and gestures. If there was anything one could gather from his strange silence, it was that he was very carefully staring at the distant shapes of Captain Levi and Mikasa holding hands "out of sight."

One week since they have been matched and Eren had expected to see them kissing every chance they had whenever they bumped into each other during the day's work. Thankfully, they kept their public displays of affection almost non-existent… save the searing glances that made any room feel like it was being baked whole. The whole ordeal was as weird and awkward to him as it had been to getting the "talk" from Hanji once upon a time.

At the time, Hanji had been very straightforward. Delving into details and a bluntness that even if she had tried to throw analogies in her spiel would've brought a stronger embarrassment in the young shifter's stomach. Grisha Jaeger had been a doctor, for God's sake. Eren knew how babies were made (He'd even walked in on his parents on a couple of occasions in his youth—a memory that, to this day, still sends horrified shudders down his spine despite the many horrors he witnessed later on).

So, even though Eren had vainly attempted to tell Hanji his obvious knowledge of how sex works, Hanji brushed his arguments aside and settled on graphically explaining several aspects and reactions to the 'exercise,' much to Eren's horror (and eventual silent interest).

But this was different. Clearly.

Since Eren had discovered the couple kissing in the rain and watched them run off while hordes of soldiers cheered them on, there was little in his chest aside from an irritated confusion.

More because—once again—Mikasa had held another secret from him. It's not that Eren wanted to be privy to every single thing in her life, but they loved each other like family. They told each other practically everything. So for her to so carefully hide the fact she even had feelings for Levi…

Green eyes closing with a dejected surrender, Eren quickly swiped those thoughts from his mind.

He certainly had no right to talk.

_"Eren…" Mikasa had said softly several days ago, cheeks flushing with an embarrassed blush that made his insides itch. As it had been expected, she had showed up to talk to him about Levi. Armin had been kind enough to alert him of this coming event after the blond told him Mikasa had found out that Eren had seen her run off toward Levi's room just two days prior. Since their conversation on the roof, the young titan shifter had not seen the raven haired woman around and after a suggestive wink from Hanji, felt himself feel a bit nauseous at the thought of Levi doing some of the things Hanji had explained in extreme detail… to his sister._

_"You don't have to explain," He had urged, lifting his hands as he pulled himself off the ground and reached for the towel hanging on the nearest chair. Sweat soaked and gasping with effort from doing a fierce set of extended sit ups, Eren allowed his breath to slow before addressing the girl standing ahead of him._

_Mikasa shifted in her stance, hand rising to grasp at air around her neck. Without a word, they both realized the missing red fabric from her neck and idly wondered where it could be. Although, judging by the growing power of her blush, Eren didn't have to guess too hard where it was. "I'm sorry, Eren."_

_"Huh?" he exclaimed, cocking his head in confusion. "Why?"_

_"I should have told you…about Levi."_

_The itch in his gut intensified, even more so at the lack of title by his Captain's name. A flash of blue eyes and blonde hair played in the back of his mind, Eren looked away from her to stare at the ground in front of him. "And said what?" He asked, not out of malice. There was a real curiosity there. What would she had said to him? Hey, Eren. Forgot to mention but the Captain and I are madly in love with each other? Hey, Eren, I love Captain Levi and want to bear his babies? Hey, Eren, I'm sorry about all the crap that went down, but I want to be with Levi and do things to him in bed that only Hanji can explain to you?_

_…Probably not in those words…_

_Mikasa sighed, letting her hand drop from her collar to rest around her elbow. "I should've at least come clean about my feelings for him."_

_"Mikasa," Eren sighed before hoisting himself to his feet as he rubbed the towel over his sweat-stained neck. "Contrary to your beliefs, I don't actually have to know everything that's going on." Still, a warning would have been nice, though._

_"We promised to be honest to each other," she protested, lips quirking into a frown. For some strange reason, while Eren knew she meant that statement as a way to push excuse away, it felt like a jab. Against his better judgment, the memory of Annie's face now tormented the back of his eyelids and made him want to jump back into his exercise routine. So, he did._

_Pulling up to his tiptoes, Eren braced himself. "Yeah," he agreed uneasily, pushing himself forward to land on the ground with his hands. His arms took in the full of his weight before lifting and dropping back into a rapid set of push-ups. Mikasa said nothing as he exhaled sharp gusts of concentrated air, he could feel her eyes on him despite the silence. The burn of exertion in his muscles did very little to ease the tension of his own secret weight him down from his chest. When he finished, Eren pushed himself back up to his knees, gasping, "But that doesn't necessarily mean we need to tell each other everything."_

_"I know…" She murmured, shoulders curling upwards in an uncertain gesture. Pulling on a fast—albeit forced—smile, Eren bounced up to his feet._

_"Don't worry about it," He said, shrugging and moving past her, but not before gently lifting a fist to bop against her forehead. She smiled at that and with that the conversation dropped, as did Eren's smile because even now… he wasn't sure what else he could say._

Was he guilty he didn't come clean? Maybe. What did it matter anyway? Why does the thought of telling Mikasa that he had also fallen in love with someone drive such nervous needles to prick at his stomach?

_Because that someone is Annie._

_…Was… was Annie._

The reminder of the titan girl's expected demise sent a fierce blow of sadness to burn at his chest. The more he watched how Levi lifted Mikasa's hand to press a gentle kiss to her knuckles, the more it made the longing for the missing woman stretch his heart thin. How many times had he imagined himself waking up to a head of messy blonde locks and lazy blue eyes that turned piercing the more she gazed into his eyes? Far too many. Only the knowledge that no one knew where she was and if she was alive…

It was enough to press tight frustration against his throat.

Heaving another sigh, Eren pulled away from the stone rail and left his sister and his captain alone to their loving moment.

He didn't have to tell Mikasa right now. But he needed to tell someone… and the next best person he could think of right now was probably enjoying his new living space as Lance Corporal.

* * *

"You should stop."

There was the smallest smile that curled lips and Mikasa could feel herself begin to give. Levi's narrow eyes blinked open from their gentle rest, staring a challenge and a tease into her eyes that she wasn't sure how to handle in public.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked, lips ghosting over the smooth ridges of her knuckles.

"…Someone could see." The protest was menial as it was weak, because even if her words were warning him to resume professionalism her body was taking a step closer to his.

He chuckled and a familiar thrill was sending zings to her core as his eyes flashed a curious gleam at her, "You should answer the question." His tone was as monotone as it would be if he were making the same demand to another soldier, but the smile had turned into a smirk that made her torn in deciding whether to punch him or kiss him senseless.

Again, Levi pressed his lips to her fingers, moving gently in reminiscent caresses that had her legs quivering. She recognized the movements. She recognized them intimately. One week ago, Mikasa had spent a night of tragic lovemaking that had made them ache for each other so voraciously that when they discovered they had been matched… the following sessions were much fiercer and definitely less heavy-hearted in every sense of the word. If she had to be honest, each night had been spent in such fantastically athletic late night reunions she wondered if she would ever go back to regular exercising without aching for his touch. The answer to that was, no. She would never ever want to go back.

Simply put, the one night they finally confessed their every thought and secret to each other had been so encompassing and unforgettable, the end result of their chemistry ended up in a lab explosion that would've left Hanji completely dumbstruck, hanging her lab coat and dedicating her life to botany because no other result would ever hope to satisfy. Of course, it didn't end there and, frankly, Mikasa found herself making newer discovers about herself with Levi than she would have with anyone else with a mental microscope. Like… the way he could make such bizarre noises leave her throat just by pressing those damn lips of him in just the right—

"No, I don't want you to stop." Mikasa breathed, eyes clouding as his other hand crept to grip her hip and pull her closer.

Levi's eyes narrowed with dark amusement, "That would be the day."

"You shouldn't tease…" She sighed, shivering when his hand slowly rose over the swell of her hip to glide to grip her lower back, her hands fluttering around the wrist that held the hand against his lips. Levi gave her the most minuscule shrug, deciding then to extend his teeth to scrape over her knuckle and leave her trembling.

"I get awfully bored looking over documents," He said simply, as if he wasn't tantalizing her with each graze of his teeth or press of his digits over familiar spots that his mouth had gotten acquainted with in the dark. Mikasa had to fight back the urge to slam him against the wall of the empty hallway they were currently 'hiding' within.

She smiled as she let her hands mimic his slowness and unbutton the cuff of his sleeve, tracing her fingers beneath the fabric and inching upwards. Her smile threatened to overtake her face when she saw row upon row of goosebumps rise on his skin, and his fingers were giving the tiniest twitches against her waist. "You've never been good with dealing with authority, have you?"

"I can when you're the one making demands."

Mikasa bit her lower lip and felt the blush on her cheeks deepen, "You're incorrigible."

"And you've been keeping me waiting long enough," Levi said after pressing another open mouthed kissed to the edge of her wrist before whispering, "Come here."

She was all too ready to comply, her eyes lingering on his lips as she began to lean in but they were terribly interrupted by the sound of running footsteps and the sound of the 3DMG canisters letting rip loud gusts of gas.

Startled, Mikasa sprang away from her commanding officer and fiancé, taking up a casual stance by his side. As the group of soldiers moved passed, shooting off in synchronized arrangements from out of the outer hallway's stretches and hardly paying them much attention, the two waiting in irritated silence. Well, irritated from Levi's angle.

When she blinked back over to smile at his expression, she nearly burst out laughing. As expected, Levi's face had fallen into one of severe irritation, scowling something fierce even though the hand he had used to grip Mikasa's hand against his lips still remained in its place. In the air, empty, bereft of her weight upon the hold. It was almost too comical to ignore.

"You alright, old man?" She teased.

"I can't catch a single break…" He grumbled beneath his breath before dropping his hand and suddenly turning to face her. "Don't 'old man' me, brat." He grunted, but was reaching back to grab her waist and pull her close again. "It's disrespectful to your commanding officer."

"I'm sure it's not enough to warrant a punishment," Mikasa grinned as he tilted his chin forward, lips barely grazing.

"Oh, but it is." He said simply, letting his lips slide past her cheek to nip at an earlobe before whispering jolts of electric heat in her ear, "You're becoming far too familiar with me, Mikasa."

"Levi…" It was meant to come out as a warning, that they were still capable of being caught. Only, it came out as a breathy moan when he found a sweet spot beneath her ear, right at the junction of her neck and shoulder. "N-not here."

"I can think of many reasons why here," He replied and he was rolling his hips against hers as he pushed her against the wall, her hands falling to grip the back of his head and shoulder. "One of them sounds a lot like—"

"C-captain Levi, sir!" Levi's shoulders tensed violently beneath her sudden grip of surprise. Peeling his lips away from her heated skin, the duo slowly turned blushing and violent glares respectively to the newest intrusion. It was a tall, light haired corporal judging by the tags on his lapels. His cheeks were flushing a bright red while his eyes remained carefully somewhere else.

"_What._" Levi growled lowly and through his teeth—the equivalent of a dragon breathing a testy gust of flames through furious nostrils. Mikasa knew better than to tell him that, knowing that if he knew of the nickname the other soldiers dubbed him, he would use it shamelessly to harass every snot nosed cadet that dared look at him funny. Which was everyone at this point. Then again… he might decide to use that nickname in the cover of darkness… and that sounded plenty worth the risk of exposure.

"P-please excuse my intrusion, sir!" The corporal stammered, slamming a hand to his chest in a salute, his light brown eyes flicking back and forth from Levi still draped over Mikasa's form to the ground like a nervous butterfly. "B-but I am instructed to escort Senior Cadet Ackerman to the Commander's office."

"Like _fucking hell_ you are," Levi hissed, turning to fix the unfortunate soldier his most intimidating glower. Before the young man could properly piss himself, Mikasa pressed her hand in a gentle grip around her lover's shoulder.

"It's alright," Mikasa said softly, smiling into his eyes when he turned to raise an eyebrow at her. "You've got paperwork and Erwin needs to see me." Levi's lips parted to protest, which she silenced by flicking the lower one with a single digit. "Go on now, we'll finish later."

Visibly deflated, Levi sighed and nodded. Mikasa smiled wider at his acceptance and flounced out of his hold after pressing a promising kiss to the corner of his mouth that he eagerly chased after she pulled away. "Tell Erwin to assign that kid as far away from me as possible," the shorter man called, his eyebrows lowered back into an irritated scowl before addressing the still blushing soldier with an icy stare that would only be rivaled by an actual blizzard. "Be glad the senior cadet is more lenient than I am, Corporal. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been so lucky."

"Y-yes, sir," the young man said quickly before ambling off at a nervous strut, Mikasa following him after blinking lazily at Levi, to which he responded with a short sigh before he also turned and went on his way.

Several minutes of walking down hallways and the curiosity of this latest summons got the best of the raven haired woman. "Did the Commander specify as to why I am called?"

"He didn't give me any," the corporal replied, cautiously sending her a sideways glance she returned with a blank stare. Just as they were reaching the end of the Hallway that would lead to Erwin's office, the corporal suddenly cleared his throat, "Sorry, may I ask a question?"

Mikasa almost heaved a heavy sigh, nodding. This young man was still her superior in rank. Encouraged by her admission, the Corporal proceeded, "The Captain… he's not as bad as the rumors and tales say he is… right?"

At this, she almost smiled, "Oh no, not at all." The young soldier let out a light sigh, as if relieved. "He's worse."

Before the soldier could even flinch, Mikasa took a step closer and turned a dark intensity into his unsuspecting eyes. "But I am _much_ worse. Interrupt us again and I will rain a wrath far more horrible and terrible over your head than he could ever imagine. Understand?" As expected, the young man's face paled solidly before he sputtered and bobbed his head so fast he would probably end with whiplash.

"Good." She stated before stepping away and making her way away from him and down Erwin's hallway, smirking quietly to herself before lifting a hand to knock at the heavy door.

Upon hearing Erwin's voice admit her entrance, Mikasa quickly grabbed the knob and pushed her way in. The Commander was, without much surprise, behind his desk, looking over a file with what looked like a hooded expression. Before Mikasa could comment on the dark demeanor over his blue eyes, he blinked up and the expression was gone in a flash to be replaced by a small smile that—for him was practically a beam of contentment.

"Cadet Ackerman," He greeted, lifting a hand to wave her in. "Come in," he said, peering over her shoulder for a moment as she made to close the door. It was obvious by his sigh that the corporal was still rather beached where Mikasa last left him.

"I take it I should be transferring the Corporal away from Levi, right?" The Commander said after she bestowed him a firm salute, eyebrow raising. Mikasa gave the blond man a small smile of her own.

"Something like that."

Erwin's lips twitched, a sign he was just as amused as she was before he fixed his expression into one more suited for business and military matters. "I recently managed to get a message from the high Courts," he began, Mikasa tilted her chin curiously. "It's about your promotion."

Her dark eyes widened a small fraction, lips parting with surprise. "I'm being promoted?"

"Of course," the broad man nodded, lifting a hand to close the file splayed open on his desk. Mikasa glanced down at it mindlessly, frowning when she saw a picture of a familiar face, but not entirely sure what Erwin would be doing staring at it. "Your actions throughout the war have been enough to excel and even speed our efforts, ensuring our survival. Much is owed to the Woman worth a Hundred Soldiers."

Mikasa remained silent, not knowing much on what to say and so remained listening to her leader. Erwin pressed his arms down over the smooth surface of the desk, obscuring the red seal over the file with his palms as he gazed at her seriously. "My intention, Senior Cadet Ackerman, is to have you promoted to First Lieutenant."

At this, Mikasa let out a shocked series of stammers, "First Lieutenant, sir? But that's—I'm not…that's nearly _ten ranks_ above my—I can't…"

Erwin did not bat an eye, "You are an officer of extreme ability. While it has been shown that you still lack the ability to lead under pressure, you have shown exceptional capabilities, such as persistence, and an incalculable intuition in holding your own against a horde of Titans. While the humanity's predators have been extinguished as far as we know, there is much use for your abilities even now, Cadet. As of right now, we cannot afford having you in a rank that would hinder the use of those abilities."

He paused for a small moment, more to allow his words to register as the Senior Cadet still appeared a bit star struck. It seemed she could finally speak, breathing, "But, sir. I am only nineteen, my birthday is not until next year. To be a lieutenant at such a young age—"

"Would be historical, yes," He finished for her, but not appearing at all concerned over this matter. "However, it is not age that matters in this world," blue eyes flashed darkly, ramming what more protests she had against her throat. "But the ability to perform honorably for the sake of humanity."

Stunned, Mikasa swallowed, feeling her throat constrict tightly under Erwin's piercing stare. Finally, after a moment of silence, the Commander leaned forward, speaking gently, "Despite all I have said, Cadet Ackerman, you do have a choice in whether or not to accept this promotion."

The young woman nodded slowly, flexing her fingers open and closed at her sides as she considered her situation. "Like you said, Commander," She said, "My abilities to lead aren't exactly commendable."

"I do agree, your teamwork could use a little fine tuning," He said, but then his lips curled into an amused smirk, "But then again, so does the Captain's." _Good point._

"I will not assign you a squad as of right now. That must be tested in some other forms before I can entrust lives within your hands." He trailed off for a moment, eyes dimming with a distant look that made her chest twinge with an unknown emotion. "With the quagmire that is our government right now, it would be some time before I could actually send you off anywhere outside our walls…"

This did confuse the woman somewhat, "I thought we _were_ sending traveling expeditions outside the walls…"

"In a way, we are." Erwin replied. "But that is not to say the Monarchy has given us the complete pass to make some well funded ones. We've expanded in our territories, yes, and these past few months have been kind to us in colonizing and making sure that the public safety is ensured. However, we are also still rebuilding much of what has been destroyed. If we do not fortify our base before we expand, there is no doubt we would end up in a worse state within a few years."

"What are you saying, sir…" Mikasa frowned again, "Are you saying that humanity will still be confined to what's left of the walls?"

"For the time being, and under this rule," Erwin sighed, turning his gaze to look out the window of his study, the warm light of day filtered in pale contrasts the more autumn approached. "Yes. I am afraid that is to be the case for the next foreseeable future."

A firm scowl tipped her lips downward, yet despite her obvious distaste she knew she could not protest. It was unlikable, for sure, but as the Commander implied—it had to be necessary. She could only wonder how everything was back in Zhinganshina and not for the first time she wondered if she would be able to go back to that speck on the wall she had once called home. She knew the reasons why they remained in the castle HQ back within wall Maria. Since the Final Conflict, most of the rebuilding and retaking had been of lands just outside the wall and within the Capital. And after so many lives had been lost, the Monarchy made it a key point to keep the Military Factions and the Brass within close range—that goes without saying, under a strict and careful eye.

Even now, even after the Commander had been acquitted… did they still suspect him of assisting the Coup D'etat?

Suddenly, it made a lot more sense as to why they were being so kept under such firm leash…

"Going back to our main conversation," Mikasa blinked back to see Erwin facing her again, "I would like to know whether or not you would be interested in taking such a position of rank."

_Wait… she had to decide now?_ Tensing, the young woman blinked several times, feeling suddenly ambushed by his unwavering gaze. Glancing away, she began to consider everything that this change would entail. She would have to take on much more work than she had before, and while she was loath to submit to paperwork—seeing Levi filling reports alone had been enough to make her stomach queasy with dislike—she knew that with this position, she would be certain to be in more direct contact with her beloved and have more authority concerning the wellbeing of her brother.

Several tense seconds passed in silence as Mikasa thought to herself, feeling a surge of emotions before ending with surprise and finally flattered that the Commander of the 13th legion looked at her with such high esteem. There was no chance she could decline when there was so much at stake, according to him.

Nodding, Mikasa looked back up at her leader, determined. "I would be honored to accept this promotion, sir. So long as it is being offered to me."

Erwin gave her a firm nod and another small smile, "I am glad to hear it, Mikasa. I will be sure to inform you of any changes concerning this matter."

Feeling dismissed, Mikasa placed her fist against her chest in a final salute before turning and making for the door. "How are you and Levi, if you don't mind my asking?" Erwin's question made her pause mid-step.

Turning back around, she smiled wide and gratefully at the Aryan man, "We're doing really well, sir."

The Commander nodded at her once again, his smile broadening just a fraction, "Good to hear." With that said, Mikasa bowed slightly before opening the door and filed out of the room, not catching the way his smile fell and the bright gleam in his eyes gave to the darker shadow of a remorseful disposition.

"I just hope it lasts…" He murmured to himself long after she had gone, the comment falling on deaf silence and an even darker presence curling bitterness in his stomach.

* * *

"I'm not making you lunch."

"God, no. That's the last thing I want—Ow."

Sasha rolled her eyes before pulling her hand away from her boyfriend's and attempted to make an escape. As expected, Jean gave her no inch. Arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back behind the spacious tree that served as their current hiding spot. She had to bite down on her lips to keep from grinning when she saw the flash of false hurt in his expressive eyes.

"I would apologize, but we both remember your attempts at cooking. Plus, you just kicked me so…" Jean spoke as he nudged the collar of her shirt down with his chin.

"That damn memory will never die, will it?" She responded with an irritated grunt that faded to a sigh when he pressed his lips to the side of her neck. "You can kiss me all you want—"

"I intend to." Smooth bastard.

"—I'm still not having lunch with you." Despite her words, Jean's lips did not stop their travels to the juncture of her shoulder and neck. His tongue flicked out the instant he had found her soft spot at the base of her throat and just like that, Sasha had to curl her arms around his shoulders to keep from collapsing.

She could feel his smile against her skin and she resisted kicking him again for a second, "Well, perhaps we don't have to have lunch." The implication was dropped with delicious emphasis as he lifted his chin to catch her earlobe with his teeth.

"J-Jean…" She gasped and his hips were bucking against hers so delightfully she could not hold back the shuddering sigh to expel from her throat. "I c-can't. I have to turn in my report to Mo-Mobli—_Oh, sweet merciful Maria_—so they can finish considering reassigning me back to your s-squa_…ah..._"

"It can wait." He hummed as he began to lace kisses over her jawline. Sasha's chin dipped to catch his mouth between greedy teeth and the following kiss left them both leaning heavily against the trunk of the tree hiding them from open sight.

"It can't," Sasha sighed, smiling lazily when he pressed his forehead against hers. "Moblit approached me during breakfast and told me I had to have it turned in by noon."

"Well, maybe we can skip the rush to my room and…take care of business, promptly…here." The senior cadet smirked widely when she blinked those bright brown eyes wide against his lustful amber pair.

"Here?" She asked, looking rather scandalized with her parted lips and glowing cheeks. Jean held back a chuckle as she tossed her gaze to the sides, "No way. What if we get caught?"

"Makes it more exciting that way, doesn't it?"

"Please tell me you're joking."

His eyebrow quirked and his smirk pulled further back to tilt into the secret lopsided smile he saved just for her, just for special occasions. "Just picture it. Trying to muffle your screams and moans while I—"

"I'm not doing it out here, Jean." Sasha rolled her eyes, but pulled him down for a fierce kiss that he was certain made his hair curl. When she pulled away, she shook her head, auburn hair clinging to the corner of her lip and he pulled it away with a gentle tug. At that moment a pale yellow leaf fell from the canopy above them, landing over her bangs and the color was such a nice contrast that he was almost sad to pluck it away. She smiled up at him at the tender gesture and he had to fight back a blush and another urge to make her protests fall like the sighs she made whenever he pressed his lips against that spot on her neck.

It was easy to say their relationship was proceeding rather speedily. While it had been something of a rush, neither could say they weren't enjoying the ride. Sasha probably a bit more than Jean, now that he was returning her affections with more zeal and less mindless abandon. The incident with Major Freidhelm had left his face with a nasty bruise that was just recently beginning to fade—it had been such a violent purple and yellow. Even when they applied the generous ice, the poor man was left writhing in agony, much to Sasha's dismay.

"You're a freaking idiot, Kirschstein," Sasha had growled as she placed another bit of poultice to the massive face bruise, flicking the older forehead bruise with irritation. While that bruise no longer caused him pain, it was still tender and he responded with an undignified squawk that on any other circumstance would've left her howling with laughter. Sasha was too angry and guilty to laugh though, settling for gruffly fluffing the pillow beneath his head as he cradled the moist bag of herbs to his face.

"Oi, I thought we were past this," He protested, watching her through the dimming rays of sunset with a sad pout. Sasha only scowled in response before marching off to bring him more ice to lessen the swelling. When she arrived, he remained silent as he let her tend to his wounds, hissing and groaning when she was too rough. It wasn't until he had to make her stop because she was causing more pain than good that he reached for her hand and held it to his opposite cheek. "I know you're mad… but I don't regret doing it."

"I know," She blew a hard gust of air through her lips, but he could see her anger begin to give when he pressed a tentative kiss to her wrist. "Which is why you're such a magnificent idiot."

He couldn't help the small cocky smile at that, "So I'm magnificent, am I?"

"Ugh. Twat." She grunted, but leaned in nonetheless to press a gentle kiss to his lips. Several moments later, their kisses were frequent and heated, and before Jean could register, she was peeling off her jacket and lifting her shirt over her head in a shocking display of seduction.

"Sasha…?" He gasped. Breaths tightened in his throat when she turned quickly to lock the door of his room and sauntered back to slide over his—abruptly sensitive—lap.

"I don't like being indebted to idiots," She replied evenly, but to him it was the most seductive and sexiest thing she had ever said to him because she was suddenly unbuttoning his shirt and rocking those perfect hips against his.

That was the first night they were truly intimate, and while Jean still did not express anything more than deep care for her, Sasha was understanding and kissed him until they were both gasping and groaning into each other's lips. The movements were careful and slow, mindful of his injuries despite Jean's sighs and moans of wanting to go a bit harder, a bit faster. When she finally collapsed on top of him, she made sure to avoid jostling his cheek, only tenderly kissing the sensitive area and sighing when he curled warm arms around her naked waist.

"I do hope you realize that this debt is in no way repaid in full," He panted against her hair.

Sasha only chuckled and lifted herself over him to grin slyly against his lips, "Do you accept frequent payments?"

"I would accept nothing less," He had said sagely and the two were chuckling together before slowly falling asleep in each other's arms and tangled legs. Each night since then, Sasha joined Jean in his bed and the two allowed themselves to let go to the heat that was spreading aphrodisiacs in their bloodstream. Each time was more exciting, more meaningful than the last and Jean could slowly feel his heart open and accept every touch and kiss Sasha pressed against him with deeper fluttering and prolonged desire that lasted long after they finished in a tangle of limbs beneath his sheets.

It was still too early to know for certain…but Jean could admit that he wanted no one else at this point and that no one else could quite make him feel this way. Back to the present, He was loath to let her go, but he knew that if he didn't now, she would make him pay for it later.

Sighing, he pulled himself enough away to concede, "Alright, alright. We can finish later."

"Oh, I intend to finish you off later." She agreed with a lowered whisper, and with a sultry curl of her lips that sent a sharp zing through his body and the blood to pool against his pants.

Grinning, Jean gave her hips at playful tug, "You're becoming dangerous, Potato woman. I should put in my own letter of recommendation to the Commander. People should watch out." Resistance gone, Sasha fully kicked the tall soldier in the opposite shin, although with not enough force to cause pain. Still, that didn't stop him from yelping in false helplessness—apparently she loved tending to his injuries, be they real or obviously feigned. With a final drag of lips against his cheek, Sasha winked at him before quickly escaping his grabby hands.

"I'll see you later, _Kirschstein_." She called over her shoulder and he could only watch after her with an idiot smile on his face. He didn't know why, but he felt such a thrill whenever she called him by his last name, especially when she was moving her hips in such tantalizing sways. He was so caught in the sight of her leaving that he failed to notice the presence standing feet away, green eyes watching with catlike disinterest at the scene before them.

"Yeah, you absolutely had no idea what I was talking about."

Jean leaped five feet in the air, his heart ramming against his throat when he turned around to see none other than the short, green-eyed Li leaning against a nearby sapling. It's leaves were already turning a dark brown and orange, and if he were a different man with less committed eyes he would've probably noted how nice the autumn colors suited her.

"Oi! How long were you there?!" Jean barked, more because he was startled than the fact he got caught. Surprisingly enough, the fact that they did get caught like that didn't bother him when once upon a time it would have left him stammering for a lousy excuse.

"Long enough to be proven right," Li shrugged, green eyes staring at him with a bored stare. Honestly, it irked him. It was like looking at the female version of Captain Levi, or a freckled Annie… only she was definitely shorter and had tendencies to suddenly switch personalities (or so Connie had ranted).

Eyebrow twitching, Jean stared at her with growing irritation. "So when are you going to ask her?" she asked, lifting a fingernail to study under those flat green eyes of hers. He frowned, confused.

"Ask her what?"

"To marry you."

Stomach falling and face exploding into a bright blush, Jean nearly tripped over nothing. "To marry—what the hell are you going on abou—I'm not," she rolled her eyes at him and the simple act nearly made him fume. He was starting to understand why she was so easily able to get under Connie's skin.

"Well, you obviously aren't going to be turning in your survey soon, right?" She asked, pushing off from the trunk of her tree before making her way around him. "Better stop wasting time and confess your undying love pronto."

"Oh, and you know plenty about love, wouldn't you?!" He shouted at her retreating back.

"Plenty enough to know you've got a serious tent in your pants right now, and it's not because I'm pretty." She retorted without glancing back, hands in her pockets as she ambled off. Jean nearly gave chase to give her a piece of his mind, but was frozen by the simple shrewdness of her comment. Before he could help himself, he was glancing down at his pants and felt the blood rush in faster thrums against his cheeks when he witnessed the 'serious tent' in his pants.

He could only hope Li wasn't the type to hold on to little bits like this to gain favors from him later on. Despite all else, though, Jean couldn't help but let his mind fall back to her words and where he stood with Sasha. He knew he cared about her… but marriage?

No… it was much too soon for that sort of thing… besides, he had plenty of time before a decision needed to be made. No need to rush things unnecessarily, right? The sudden reminder that it had really been only a few weeks since he realized he had feelings for the girl before they ended up sleeping together suddenly played a weight against his chest, making him feel strangely giddy and even a bit uncertain.

"I'm so freaking screwed, aren't I," he grumbled as he tried to tuck himself firmly out of sight from any more prying eyes and less silent mouths.

Oh well… he had time.

There was still time.

* * *

_9k words, people. Get reviewing. 'Til next time!_


	3. II: Fractured Hindsight

_A/N: Not the usual 9k words but 7k should hold you guys for another week right? Heheheh real quick, I'm clarifying right now that the time frame spanning these next few chapters will be a weekly thing. What I mean is, within the story itself, a week (give or take) will pass between events in each chapter. So essentially, each week that passes between chapters—that is the same level of time passing in this world. If I'm not being clear at all feel free to punch me. I don't know why that was so difficult to explain. So if anyone is confused, in this chapter, a week and a half to two weeks have passed since the epilogue of TC. _

_Disclaimer: The world of SNK and all its characters therein belong to Hajime Isayama-sama. I just like to sneak into his house and test drive them when he's not looking. _

_**This chapter's inspired tracks are: In a Strange Place, The Apple of My Eye, and The Wait (for the eruhan scene) all by Olafur Arnalds, and finally Travel Around the Stars by Kashiwa Daisuke.**_

* * *

**Nimbus  
*-:_II_:-***

**Fractured Hindsight**

_"I like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite new a thing. Muscles better and nerves more." –E.E Cummings_

* * *

It was relatively nice weather, the day Eren was finally allowed outside to take part in the drills. While it was not completely sunny, the overcast was still enough to bring some kind of respite as the young man moved in concentrated ducks and hurdles over obstacles. Soldiers all around followed the same course, each keeping to themselves as they threw themselves under wires and then to run over large hoops that resembles the wheels of a cart. It was in the midst of making a swift turn that Eren caught sight of a female soldier bursting into a sprint ahead of him, her blonde hair glistening under the light of the sun and suddenly reminding him of a conversation he had no more than a week ago.

"You seem to be living it up," Eren had whistled, looking over the bigger room with an appreciative glance.

"Eren!" Armin exclaimed, turning around from placing his gear on his table to allow for a brotherly embrace. Giving the blonde a firm clap on the back, the young titan shifter moved from the open door as Armin further led him in. "I guess promotions do come with their perks."

"Yeah, no kidding." Eren nodded, "What I wouldn't give to have an actual room instead of having to bunk in Hanji's study or the infirmary."

"I was about to work on my equipment," the Lance Corporal explained, motioning to his gear and picking up a rag from a box next to the polishing oils and jars of sticky fluid meant for cleaning. "You don't mind while we talk, right?"

Eren bobbed his head, flicking at a stray lock of brown hair that fell over his face. "Ugh, how can you put up with it? My hair's not nearly long as yours is and it's driving me nuts." The blond man shrugged, grinning.

"I got used to it. I had thought about getting it chopped off, but Historia likes it." Armin chuckled, pulling a chair and sitting on it before beginning to set his equipment over the white tarp resting on the wood of the table. At the mention of his fiancé, Eren smirked wide.

"Oho, Historia likes it, yeah?" the brunet repeated, smiling wolfishly when a small blush leaked over his friend's face. "You're not even married and already she's got you whipped. Kudos to her, man."

"When you find your own woman, Eren, you'll understand." Armin snorted, rolling his eyes despite the goofy tilt to his smile. It had supposed to have been a lighthearted comment, but instead of laughing it off as it had been expected, Eren's grin only proceeded to fall into an uncomfortable grimace. The blonde soldier didn't ignore this, catching on to the change in the atmosphere with keen observance. Not wanting to spook the topic away, Armin grabbed his rag and began to pour some cleaning fluid over the scratchy surface. The strong smell of ammonia and sulfur curled around their noses unpleasantly, but they were used to it.

"About that…" Eren sighed, tucking his hands in his pockets nervously. Glancing this way and that, he turned his green eyes back over Armin's blues, looking torn, "Look, can you…promise not to tell Mikasa?" Eren had asked his friend. Armin's eyes widened for a moment before frowning, nevertheless he nodded, and began to scrub the rag against the hilts of his gear. The brunet sighed, uncertain how to go about expressing the secret he had kept for nearly two years. Slowly, Eren moved to sit down on the chair opposite his blond friend, keeping his gaze on the opposite man's hands at work, chewing on a lip thoughtfully.

The only sound between them for the space of sometime had been of Armin dutifully cleaning and adjusting the maintenance of his swords and gear. Finally, Eren inhaled and spoke, choosing to start with a memory.

"What I'm about to tell you… it's about Annie." Eren admitted, peering up into Armin's expression for any sign of a negative reaction. When there was none, Armin only tilted his chin, listening. Spurred, the young man continued, "It was during the time we were separated. I don't remember much being with the others, but I do remember when Annie was around. It was with her that I was able to figure out how to harden the titan skin, see." Armin nodded, eyes widening as he considered the information and accepted it openly. "All I know was when we were together, she was no different than when we were in our training days. She had always been harsh, difficult… but then, I started talking with her. Sometimes there would be days when she wouldn't say a thing, but she would always be watching me, directing me. I don't know when it started or when I knew there was no going back, but at one point, Armin…"

"…You fell in love."

Eren's eyes shut tight, sighing heavily at the blond's soft conclusion. He nodded once, lifting a hand to fiddle with a wire, while Armin ran the polish over the smooth and cleaned hilts.

"Did she…?" the question was quiet and didn't need to be finished and all Eren could do to keep from getting up and walking away was to keep his gaze firmly away from his friend's.

"No… I… I never found out."

A sharp whistle threw Eren from the memory of conversing with Armin, his body picking up and bolting through a small tunnel and then jumping to grip onto the ropes that hung dangerously close to a deep pit filled with muddy water. Blinking determined green eyes, Eren panted as he swung his arms passed the female soldier, her blonde hair muddied with grime and dirty water. _Keep going_. Still, his mind trailed even while his body pushed itself.

"…I guess… in a way, I've always known." Armin had revealed, putting away the last of the polish within its respective box. Eren let out a thin stream of air through his nose, bitterly amused.

"…I didn't do a very good job hiding it,"

Armin's eyes crinkled with some amusement, his lips quirking into a small smile. "It's not about whether or not it was obvious, Eren." A frown made its way down the titan shifter's forehead, not getting his friend's meaning. As expected, Armin's smile broadened, "You've changed a lot over the years. Your anger was legendary, and the rest of the 104th always joked about it being borderline suicidal. But you grew, and I realized most of your growth was due to a lot of what the other shifters did and said, near the end…"

The shifters. Nearly a whole year since the Final Conflict since he was left as the last of the titan shifters and, granted, while they had essentially been on opposite sides of the war for most of the years… they had still been friends once upon a time. It seemed that even now, death did not quite fully redeem your deeds in life.

Swallowing back the bitter taste growing in the back of his throat, Eren shrugged at Armin's statement, deciding to look away and over what view he could get from the windows. A cold breeze blew from one parted window, pressing against their clothes and whipping their hair over their faces, though none of them complained. After such a fierce heat wave had nearly melted the very castle to the ground, the cold breezes were accepted with open arms.

"_When did you find out?" Armin's question made him look down to the stone under his arm. _

"_That I loved her?" _

"…_that you still do." _

Green eyes blinked away beads of sweat as he jumped and hurdled over ropes and wires, breathing hard as he pushed himself through the obstacle course with determined force, swiftly overtaking the other soldiers as he sped up.

"_I've never stopped loving her, Armin."_

A sharp whistle made him move faster, grasping on to ropes and yanking himself up with as much speed as he could. The twine of the rope was biting, but Eren embraced it.

"_Even now, not knowing whether she lives or not, or even if she ever loved me in return…"_

He slipped, hands clutching to the rapidly escaping rope, burning as the friction made him hiss and wince. Still, he refused to let go.

"_I know I still love her." _

"…_I won't tell Mikasa. Not until you're ready." _

Reaching the end, he doubled over, gasping.

"_Thanks, Armin."_

"Well done, Jaeger! You nearly beat your last best time!" shouted the lieutenant overseeing the obstacle course. Eren sighed, trying to catch his breath. He could feel his stomach tremble, hands shaking with pain as he tried to ignore the burns scalding through his palms. It's not like this pain mattered, in just a few moments he could feel the rise of heat where the pain was most prominent and bits of steam began to pour from the reddened marks over his skin.

"You alright, soldier?" someone asked. Eren let his hands fall back to his sides, cursing the speed of his healing beneath his breath.

"Fine," he replied and when he glanced back up he could suddenly feel the weight of everyone's wary stares and careful distance. When he met gaze for gaze, each pair of eyes was quickly yanked away, nervous and suspicious but silent in their pointed appraisals. Air escaped his lungs, nearly choking him under the undeniable lack of trust being directed at him, all the fear and worry, all the muscles tensing to attack and hold down if he were to suddenly transform. He recognized those stares. He recognized them because he had seen them directed at the Titans that had once fed on the bodies of friends, family, comrades, lovers… only now it was directed at him.

All too abruptly, Eren was reminded of just how different he was… and just how alone he truly felt.

_Bertholt… Reiner… Ymir… Annie… I think I understand now… _

_Why you hated being alone._

* * *

They have been sneaking around for the past two weeks. Maybe the number of the days spent in each other's arms should have been enough to place a warning in Hanji's stomach. But they had promised each other honesty, and collaborative silence when it came to the incoming result of Erwin's match. She knew it was not going to last and while their time was short, it would be sweet and something Hanji would take to her grave.

But when the end of the week came and went, Hanji's anxiety for the match was met with a confused feeling when none came. "Is it here?" Hanji whispered when Erwin had arrived to her room on the day the match was supposed to arrive, looking downtrodden and exhausted.

Instead, he gave her a soft smile, and in the darkness she couldn't exactly read it but he only shook his head, kissed her, and said, "We're alright."

If she had thought she would feel relief, she didn't. She knew there would be no relief. Only more nerves, more forced smiles and the added illusion that they still had time, they still had each other. Each night after, he still arrived to her room.

This night was no different.

The uneasiness doesn't come into her stomach when he kissed her. It only comes when she feels how hard he is kissing her, how tight he's gripping on to her sides and skin. There is an honest twinge of some kind of overworked hind sight tugging at her stomach and it becomes worse when he doesn't offer her his usual smile and is pushing her roughly on his bed, kisses tasting sweet but with an aftertaste of what she can only register as desperation.

"Erwin…?" She murmured under his jaw when he positioned himself above her. His normally bright blue eyes were hooded, the smile on his face taking on a more rueful edge that was making this twinge curl into a strange panic that was only recognized because suddenly he was hiding his face against her neck. "Erwin…" She breathed, groaning when he began to move; strong, merciless, needing.

Suddenly, his soft touches seemed to grip her closer to him, eliciting a more violent friction that was physically more pleasurable but made her seriously begin to worry.

"Hanji," He moaned against her, pressing sloppy kisses to her collarbone as he united them under his sheets. For a moment, she considered stopping him. Because the way he was saying her name against her ear was beginning to frighten her and made her want to clutch ever harder against his frame.

In the time that would've taken them to get started, they were both already done. Panting and gasping heavily, they waited as their bodies came down from the high that was the post-coital euphoria.

"Hey…" She whispered, hours into the night and sensing he was still awake. "What's wrong…?"

He didn't move, only rubbing a thumb against the curve of her hip. The sensation had once been a mindless action, the desire to be sure he wasn't dreaming. Now… it only felt as if he was ensuring she was still with him.

Hanji slowly ran her fingers over the skin of his chest, letting her digits pad over the hot flesh and feel the hairs of his chest give under her touches. It was a soft gesture, soothing and calm. She had done the same when he had worried over Levi, months ago. She would still do the same while she had him. Even while she knew he wasn't telling her something, Hanji knew that this was Erwin. He would tell her when he was ready.

"Celia Dietrich came into my office today," He murmured finally, his voice resounding against his chest and tickling the ear pressed on it. Hanji tilted her chin, glancing up in the darkness of his room and with what moonlight filtered in, she could see the worried crease over his eyebrows. Despite her angle, she knew he was frowning, she could tell with how the ridges of his nose wrinkled. Hanji liked to think she was an expert in Erwinese.

"Was it about Dieter?" Hanji asked after a moment of soft sighing and silent pondering.

"She explained to me how she was worried he would abandon the match to run away with Margo Ludwerg."

"What happened?"

"I had no choice but to call them in." Erwin sighed again, lifting a hand to massage to knot of muscle forming over the bridge of his nose. "I knew this mandate would bring forth undesirable results… but this was extreme. I've asked several soldiers to give up their lives for the good of mankind, Hanji." Those blue eyes blinked open, staring hard at the ceiling above them. "I never thought I would have to ask them so blatantly to give up their futures."

She knew what he was trying to say. _I've always known that was what we were asking them to do… I guess it didn't really hit home until now…_

There was a moment of silent pause as Hanji studied him. Decidedly, the auburn haired woman pulled herself up to her elbow, the sound of the sheets sliding of her skin were enough to warn Erwin of what she would do. He blinked at her, watching her with a torn expression. "What's the difference, Erwin?" Hanji asked him, staring sternly into the blues of his gaze.

He gawked at her, eyes wide and hand falling from his face to watch her with surprise. "Lives, futures, in the end, we're all asking for the same thing. Sacrifice. That is what we signed up for, that is why we have become soldiers, and that is why we have survived this far. Because of the sacrifices of thousands and thousands of men and women who had wanted so many things, but got what life dished out for them. Death, Marriage, Misery, or Happiness, they are all things we have to face in individual circumstances, but if we do not push aside our own petty differences, we'll only deserve whatever life cruelly believes we have no better chance of getting."

Lifting a tan hand, she gently cradled it against his cheek, thumbing his lips with gentle affection. "We cannot allow the voice of humanity to be silenced by these sort of protests, Erwin. We knew that the instant we saw our friends die, and know that still. Don't we?"

In the tempest of his eyes, Hanji saw one thing. Resolution. When he kissed her wrist and nodded, there was no smile, no warmth felt when he nodded and took her words. "Yes, Hanji…" He agreed, and while she could still feel that resolution there, he suddenly felt strangely distant, even more so when he finally fell asleep at her side and she felt no resolution for herself.

In the morning, when Hanji woke, she woke alone.

It had been the first time in two weeks of being with Erwin again that it happened. While the evidence of his presence was still there, his warmth was not.

Suddenly, the cold winds of autumn didn't quite feel so welcome anymore…

* * *

If you were to put things simply, it made sense. Having a packet of instructions would benefit, be a sort of blessing to those who had to try to figure out how to begin a relationship with a perfect stranger, even more so when it's explicitly clear that this relationship will certainly end with marriage and children. It was almost laughable, really. Laughable in the sense that reading the instructions still gave the readers the illusion of choice; as if they could decide how successful the relationship could end up. As if chemistry, appeal, even personal tastes had already been decided long ago for them and they just either bend over and take it or fight in vain against it—making everyone involved miserable.

It was enough to frustrate many, but this particular couple was absolutely seething. Even if it was as inwardly as they could make it without imploding.

_In the process of acquaintanceship, it is expedient that the soldiers agreed within the Mandate, and the Match's establishment, to allow for moments of intimacy. These include, but are not solely dependent on: hand holding, embracing, kissing…_

"Like hell I'm doing that."

A strange pause followed as green eyes blinked curiously into irritated amber. For a moment, neither said anything, just stared into each other's eyes, awkwardly appraising the moment of spoken unison. Connie's eyebrows dipped further down over the bridge of his nose. "Okay," he sighed, slow and with thinly veiled contempt, toward the auburn haired woman or the mandate—it was hard to tell—"You need to stop doing that."

Li leaned back on her chair, raising a brow in response as she lifted a strand of rust colored hair mindlessly, "Speaking my mind? Not likely."

"Saying the same stuff in sync with me," Connie clarified, cheeks coloring as he fumed silently. "It's freaking creepy, not to mention disgustingly cliché."

She let out a thin snort through her nose, rolling her eyes, "You've been reading way too many romance novels to know that's cliché."

"I _don't._" He snapped, leaning his hands against the desk to resist the urge to tip her chair back. "I happened to live with a lot of women and sometimes they have nothing more to talk about during meal times. I pick up on things."

"Uh-huh," Li hummed, watching him with that familiar twinkle of amusement in her eye that drove him crazy. "Of course you do."

"I'm NOT sleeping with you!" Connie finally exploded, throwing his arms to the sides as he let out a huge gasp of breath. Li's lips twitched, her eyes widening just a fraction at his blunt exclamation. Suddenly, those same plump lips were pulling up in an amused smirk.

"Sex isn't the only way to be intimate, Connie. Or would you like to go over the list again?" She said flippantly, grinning as his eyes narrowed at her.

"I wasn't talking about sex, Li." He returned, but it was obvious he was. He just wanted a chance to contradict her. As expected, she saw through him instantaneously.

"I highly doubt you meant sleeping together 'platonically'," she finished raising her fingers to emphasize the word. Connie's face flushed a darker red, eyes narrowing into slits as he glowered daggers at her amused expression.

"You are impossible," he hissed, turning around to snatch up the packet Erwin had assigned them after they had been matched. "Of all people I could've gotten matched up to and it had to be a chick with a crazy complex."

"It would have been nicer to be matched with someone taller," she quipped, shrugging and Connie tensed, nearly lunging for her neck. Instead, he took to taking several deep breaths, attempting to calm himself from strangling his assigned partner. It had been a week and a half. Just twelve freaking days of nonstop quipping and dealing with verbal kicks under the table. Each time had been even more infuriating and after yesterday's round of insults, Connie nearly punched a wall. Why had he ever considered being in a relationship with her had been beyond him. If he could go back in time to when he had been walking to Erwin's office, he would've easily kicked himself in the gut, exclaiming, "You better quit thinking that shit now. Because now we're with her and it's not at all how you're wishing."

"It can't be that bad," Jean had said on the third day being her match. _Oh no, Jean. It is that bad. _Connie wanted to go punch him, too. Sure, it wasn't absolute hell. When Li was being partially sane, she was actually quite amusing and could match wits with the best of them. Some of the things she had said—like calling Jean out on his bullshit during breakfast that one day when the topic of marriage came up, that was hilarious. Although, Connie would never openly show it. He didn't want her thinking that he was warming up to her or something stupid like that.

He knew she was acting this way because she was angry. Angry about the whole situation, about being paired up like they were no better than dogs to be bred. But, dammit, he wasn't exactly jumping out of his seat to kiss and get down on bended knee for her, was he?

"Look," she said after another tense silence. "I don't like this any more than you do, but we both signed up for this so we should expect this sort of thing."

"Being whored around?" Connie grunted as he kicked back his chair to throw himself on it, looking over the packet with malice. Li's eyebrows twitched and he was able to recognize the expression of agreement before she wiped it out with a simple shrug.

"Expressing our undying love for each other." She said, dramatically waving a hand as she motioned toward the packet in his hands. "We're matched. We're meant to be, and we're expected to have largely disappointing sex together—"

"—Oi," Connie crowed, offended.

Li ignored him, "—and breed perfectly good babies that will ensure the next generation survives." She took a moment to inhale and the single twitch in her brow suddenly made him realize just how frustrated she was. It dawned on him then, just how she hid her emotions, carefully and within pointed words that made her seem bitterer than she truly was. Or maybe it was the other way around? Who knew? To Connie, this woman was an enigma that he wasn't entirely too thrilled to attempt to figure out. Still, he couldn't shake it some of the words she had said.

"I wouldn't call it largely disappointing," he grumbled after a tense moment of silence. She blinked those piercing green eyes of hers, caught off guard.

"…What?"

"The sex," He clarified, shrugging and trying to keep his face as blank as possible. "Quite a bit quick to judge it'll be disappointing." She blinked, once… twice, before smirking widely and leaning forward in her chair, the sudden proximity making him want to lean further away from her but he didn't want to seem perturbed by her. Most of her hidden attacks had happened when he had let his guard down.

For a long and arduous moment she stared at him, eyeing him with such bizarre scrutiny, it made him squirm inwardly. It seemed like she was trying to find a weak link in his comment, his implied statement, when finally, "Are you trying to tell me you've had sex, Connie Springer?"

Miffed and feeling thoroughly uncomfortable, Connie sniffed, "…What's it to you? Have you ever had sex?"

"No," Li replied candidly, not even batting an eye. This surprised him. Why it did, he wasn't certain. "I've never even had a boyfriend, so I can't share any naughty experiences without yanking them from my sister's pocket. She likes to think she's been around, you see."

"…Oh, kay…" Connie mumbled, shifting his weight in his chair before pointedly looking away.

"So have you?" Li's voice sounded eerily closer now and he fought back the urge to flinch away. Instantly, he was faced with a decision. He could either, tell the truth and fight back when she would laugh at him, or blatantly lie and hope she wouldn't be the wiser.

"That depends," Connie said finally. "Do hand jobs count?"

Li snorted, actually snorted before beginning to laugh. Try as he might, Connie struggled to keep himself in his chair. Fighting off a furious blush as he watched her laugh and laugh like he had said the funniest thing. "…Oi." He grunted, not enjoying how hard she was laughing at him. Of course she would see right through him, why did he even bother?

"I can't believe you actually said that," Li exclaimed, lifting a hand to cover her face as she tried to restrain her giggles. "Get real."

"Oi, it really happened!" He snapped, smacking his hand on the table to let out some offended steam, yet his blush was not letting off and he couldn't ignore the way her laughter was making his chest feel tight. "At least I have some experience, unlike you." He didn't know why he said it but it made her laughter stop dead.

All too slowly, her eyes narrowed as they turned on him and Connie could only revel in his small victory for half a second. "Have you ever had a girlfriend, Connie?" the question nearly made him reel, and he was frowning with confusion and even some suspicion at the woman.

"…Why?"

"Answer the question." Li demanded, her voice falling in a frightening monotone that made him nervous. Neither said anything for a moment as Connie tried to study her as she had done him just moments prior. He had hoped that she would tremble, quake… show him a hint of a weakness, but the more he stared into her eyes the more he was convinced that her countenance was absolute steel.

"No, I haven't." The words made their way out of his mouth before he could stop them and he wanted to kick himself brutally when he saw a smirk press over her mouth.

"No girlfriend, then. I wonder who the lucky girl was that managed to get you off." How can she just say things like that? She didn't even blink! The sheer outrage of her statement threw kindling into the embers stirring in his chest, making him inflate with a fiery breath that if he could he would blow into her face like fire. Fists clenching, Connie fought against the urge to really hurt her. Although, right now, giving in was sounding like a wonderful idea. Connie had never really hit a girl, but this… this woman… sitting in front of him was no girl—she was a _beast_.

"Even if I had a girlfriend, I would at least be sure she wasn't anything like you." Connie hissed, digging his nails in his palms.

"Well guess what," She replied, placing a hand under her chin as she blinked, "It is me. I'm what you're stuck with, I'm the best you're going to get. So might as well get used to me now."

"I don't have to listen to this," Connie grunted before turning around and forced his eyes on the packet, ignoring the rest of what Li was saying.

…_The responsibilities of each couple are simple. Find a comfort zone, establish boundaries (_good luck with that) _and understand that this match has been decided to benefit humanity. All emotional and personal objections must be set aside for the greater good. It is essential that you—_

A pair of hands suddenly grabbed his collar, grasping to his lapels with a fierce yank and forcing his surprised gaze to smolder against the green pair that belonged to Li. Even standing, she only stood a few inches above him as he sat pushed to the edge of his seat. Yet, right now, it was like looking into the hot stare of a titan, but instead of the fear that usually came with seeing such a predator—Connie could only feel a powerful zing of thrill shoot through him.

"You may be my chosen partner," She was growling and he could feel her breath on his lips. Hot, moist, intense… "But I am still your superior in rank. You would do well not to ignore me."

"Hardly," Connie hissed, not knowing where he was getting the nerve to still argue, "I'm not even on your squad, so your orders and authority mean nothing to me." He hit a nerve, he saw it clearly now. Maybe he wouldn't have had she stayed away, but here, being so close to her for the first time… he could see all the rage, the insecurity, the conflict and pain coursing through her eyes like a hidden wound making her mouth tighten and her fingers clench tighter over the coarse material of his jacket. It stunned him. Even more so when he saw those same furiously green eyes narrow over his.

"Nothing?" She snarled and before he could wonder why she said that, she was slamming her mouth fiercely against his.

Sharply gasping, Connie felt his body jerk in surprise, eyes widening when he felt her tongue force through his teeth and curl around his in a motion that made the thrill of before send violent shocks into his veins. He didn't realize he was grabbing at her wrists until he felt his fingers graze over the skin of her forearms. He grunted, trying to gather sense and motion into his limbs, but felt it scatter into smoke the more he tried to gather it firmly.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Connie tried and tried in vain to hold back the moan that threatened to bubble up his throat. He failed the moment she ran her tongue down to curl over the roof of his mouth before pulling away to suck hard on his lower lip.

It was not a gentle kiss. It was hard, bordering on violent and tasting of something tart and bitter. It wasn't until he felt her knee press against the chair between his legs and dangerously close to his crotch, that Connie felt his body give another sharp jerk away. "MM—Li, what are you-!?" he gasped, but was only tugged back against her and her kiss darkened lips.

After another fierce suck on his lower lip that involved the slightest nip of teeth, she pulled away tugging at his lip before letting go with a wet pop. The resulted sound echoed in his ears, making the tingling in his mouth to spread _everywhere_. Blinking blearily and gasping, he felt another thrill that left him breathing out a shudder when he felt her tongue suddenly run over his upper lip before pulling away completely.

For a moment he tried to think of what to say, trying to gurgle words out when she was leaning in again and he could only squeeze her wrists as a way to discourage her. Instead of kissing him again, Li pressed close enough to let their noses brush before hissing, "I am _not _nothing."

Just like that, she ripped herself away. The door slammed shut a second after and it took Connie a serious moment of gathering himself before realizing she left the room. She had left him. As if she did not just thoroughly and viciously kiss him senseless.

"What the _hell_…" he heaved, feeling his hands begin to tremble. "…was _that_ for_?"_

* * *

When Mikasa finally collapsed beside her fiancé, they took nearly fifteen minutes of just laying by each other's side, gasping and well beyond spent. There is a lull between them, with Mikasa's cheek cradled by his clavicle and heaving chest, the music of his ramming heart beat echoing her own. After a moment of holding each other beneath the sheets and the pale light of late evening, she cannot hold back the urge to giggle—still dizzy with euphoria and tingling where his fingers brushed her spine.

"What…?" He asked after her giggles fade into a deep sigh of contentment.

"…That was new…" She hummed, tracing lazy circles on his left pectoral and she can hear him huff, imagine the smirk lifting the corners of his lips with obvious manly pride.

"You liked that, did you?" Levi chuckled, shifted slightly to let her curl her arm fully around his broad chest. Mikasa nodded as vigorously as she could, but considering the exhaustion of bodies overly taxed and extremely satisfied, she could only wiggle instead.

"I could do without the sudden spinning…" She clicked her tongue and he was edging his chin down to peer at her with a critical eye. Storm grey met onyx for a serious moment before she grinned, tongue peeking out from behind her teeth before he rolled her eyes.

"Always a critic, you are," He grunted, but it was mild mannered and made her press a kiss to the curve of his jaw.

"Practice makes perfect, Levi." Her statement is only emphasized as she dragged her hand down his side to caress the firmness of his oblique, making his side tremble when she grazed a tickle spot.

"Oi," He grunted, dropping a hand to catch hers before she could attempt to attack him. He already allowed her that once and to this day she can't look at him straight without wanting to run the pads of her fingers over his sides to get him to laugh like he did then. "None of that now. Go to sleep."

"Make me," She returned and quickly found herself regretting it when he flipped over her and trapped her between his arms and legs, dark eyes narrowing dangerously as he peered down at her.

"Too familiar, Ackerman," He warned, smirking when she blushed. "Look at you, blushing like you were still afraid to kiss me."

Her lips parted with mock outrage, "I was _never_ afraid to kiss you."

"Mmhmm." He hummed again, dipping his chin to lather her jaw with slow kisses, enjoying it when she squirmed and tilted her chin to the side to grant him further access. "You may have age on your side, but I can still slaughter you in stamina."

"We both know that won't last long…" She snorted, but let her eyes slide close as he dipped his chin to follow the trail of her throat to her chest, the sound of his lips smacking at her feverish skin made the tingling turn into excited thrums. "You're going to have to save these shocking maneuvers, Levi… otherwise, I'll know all your moves before the month is over—Oh!"

His teeth pulled away from the love bite he pressed over her collarbone, making her jolt and rub their skin delightfully. "Please," Levi rolled his eyes, looking up at her as he wiggled his way toward her belly, pressing tender kisses against her breasts before finding her firm stomach. "It would take _years_ of ongoing nights before you found out all my moves."

"How old _are _you? Gross," She laughed, nose wrinkling when he glowered at her before he dipped his chin again to nip at a sensitive point on her hips. "Alright, alright, not gross!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands to push his face away, lest he begin attacking her in the manner she had discovered upon him. Their movements sloppy, and still tired from their latest round of extreme athleticism, Levi stopped and let her hands fall around his hair.

"Levi," Mikasa murmured after another warm silence of watching him press feather soft kisses over her belly to slowly rise back to her chest.

"Hn."

"There's something I want to tell you…" She said, grabbing at his chin to pull him away from her skin, even if she did want him to keep going.

Those gray eyes of his blinked up to meet hers, darkening the more the light around them fell into darkness. "You want to go again?" He asked, lips curling into another smirk, "I don't mind but last time we went at it more than three times in a night I ended up getting punched because you were extra sore the next morning."

"Yeah, and I made it up to you by paying you a surprise visit that afternoon." She retorted, pushing away the hair from around his face. At the memory, Levi tilted his head considering her words with a serious expression. Grinning, Mikasa gave his hair a last affectionate brush before hoisting herself up to a sitting position, giving him no choice but to follow and sit at her side.

"It's not that," She said finally, her smile broadening when he arranged the pillows to rest at her back. "You're such a sap," Mikasa sighed, giggling when he proceeded to fluff said pillows so she would be more comfortable.

"I could stop being a sap and let you sit on nothing," He returned swiftly, shrugging as he suddenly began to yank at one of the pillows beneath her.

"I was kidding—kidding! Okay, stop it. That's not what I was going to say." The young woman amended, grabbing at his hands and pulling them away from his pillows. He raised a brow in return. Unable to hold back, she grabbed him from around the neck before pulling him in into a swift and tingling kiss.

"You've got my attention," He said, sighing deeply when she pulled away.

"Remember when Erwin called me into his office, four days ago?"

"Right with the interrupting corporal," Levi huffed, eyebrows dipping at the memory with distaste. The young Oriental nodded, rolling her eyes before making to grab at his hands and intertwine their fingers.

"Well, he made me a certain proposition," She began.

"No." Levi interrupted, scowling firmly into her eyes. Mikasa blinked at him, alarmed and confused.

"No-? But I didn't even…"

"He can't marry you. I've already proposed and you've said yes. Tell him to deal with it."

She let out a deep breath, laughing, "Idiot, that's not what I meant." Rolling her eyes she pulled him in into another kiss, tenderly and soaked with amused chuckles. "He wants to promote me."

"It's about damn time," Levi nodded, settling himself beside her and allowing her to drag her fingers over their intertwined palms. "I've honestly been expecting him to—"

"—To First Lieutenant."

Levi fell silent. When Mikasa pulled her gaze from the silhouettes of their hands to look at his shadowed face she found she couldn't make out his expression. Frowning, she tried to feel the atmosphere, hoping to catch maybe a hint to his reaction before ending in a conclusion. In the end, she noticed how his hold was strangely unresponsive even after she dragged her nails over the surface of his arm.

Sighing, she let her head fall back on the pillows, "…You're mad."

"I'm not mad." Was his clipped response, thumb caressing at her palm even though his tone was monotonous.

Mikasa didn't buy it. "Yes, you are." She insisted, and began to retract her fingers from around his. Instead of letting her go, he only tugged her back, forcing her to fall against his side and to curl under his arm.

"Why would I be mad?" the question was rhetorical, matching his tone with some disbelief and flat irritation at her prodding. Even so, his lips quickly found the curve of her cheek in the dark and were moving against her in three short presses.

The young woman sighed again, letting him kiss her with an expression equally as flat as his tone, "Because you are." Levi pulled away, and Mikasa could practically feel his glare against her head. She knew he hated it when she responded in such juvenile tones, but there was still a sense of play hidden beneath their gray monotone and their unconvincing argument. As expected, he quickly figured out she was only tugging at his seriousness, messing with his reaction to get a rise out of him.

With a grunt, he was yanking at her pillows, making her fall against the mattress and ignoring her sharp exclamation. "Brat. I'm not mad." He insisted, looking down at her and with eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could see the careful stare he was fixing her.

"Uh-huh." She shrugged, pushing herself up on her elbows despite the way her hair fell against her face in a tangle of messy locks. Levi lifted a hand and brushed the locks away, pinching at her lips when she blew air at his fingers in retaliation.

"Alright, I admit, I'm a bit peeved." He revealed, tossing his own hair from over his face to lay down on his side next to her. Mikasa wriggled her way to face him, watching him with a curious expression that bordered on the teasing side. "That's a rank that took me several years to get into."

"I thought you didn't care about ranks and that sort of thing." Mikasa smirked, flicking him in the chest. Another pillow found its way to her face with a loud '_plop_,' making her shout of indignation muffled beneath the fabric.

"I don't," Levi shrugged, not reacting when she returned the attack with her own pillow attack to his face. Pulling off the white stretch of cotton off his face, the dark haired man continued, nonchalant, "But, it took me time to get there. Several years of dealing with idiot officials and being undermined by men too used to walking around in piss stained pants and having to take their orders before making it to Captain. And yet, here you are being promoted to First Lieutenant when you've barely been a Senior Cadet for a year."

A small silence passed between them before the lighting in the room slowly brightened in a cascade of silver from his window. Mikasa barely registered it was moonlight until she saw it bounce off his gray eyes like water. Softly, she adjusted herself to peer down over him again, watching with silent reverence the way the light bounced off his skin and made it glisten like porcelain, or ivory. Even after all these years, and even these past few nights, she was still surprised at how unbelievably young the moonlight made him look, as if he were only a couple of years her elder. They were both lucky in that aspect, she supposed. Even though he was considerably older, they would at least still be able to age comfortably together. That's what mattered in the end. The reminder that she would be spending the rest of her life with this man warmed her, sent the familiar warm tingles of adoration to send heat through her veins and flush her chest with the desire to stare at him forever.

Gently, she pressed an arm over his side, leaning down to press her lips over his in a soft open mouthed kiss that he returned without much complaint. Finally, she pulled away, peering into his softened gaze with a tiny grin, "…Is it bad?"

"No. It's not, actually." Levi replied, lifting a hand to pull at the strands that fell over her face to brush them behind her ear. His fingers ran through the inky tresses, following them until the fell just below her neckline to tease her bare shoulders.

Mikasa smiled again, leaning down to kiss him again before humming a "Really?" against his lips.

"Mmhmm." He sighed, "In fact, I can work with this."

"How's that?" She murmured as she pulled away, shivering when she felt his opposite hand find its way to the valley of her back and run the tips of his fingers against the sensitive flesh. Before she could blink, she found herself face up into a pair of mischievous moonlit silver eyes, surprised and feeling the familiar thrill of being under his scrutiny make her heart start speeding up.

"The good thing about being a Captain, Mikasa, is that we have a say into who can get assigned as our lieutenants." He explained, running his hands over her arms and finally down her sides, feeling the skin with touches that sent a fever boiling in her blood.

"Chances are they're going to assign me to you anyway," She attempted to sound flippant, casual, but his touches were already eliciting delicious shudders and goose bumps through her skin and the familiar pool of heat began to accumulate in her core and make her belly wobble with anticipation. Levi let his head duck to catch her earlobe between his teeth, making her hiss delightfully against his ear.

"I would go on a bloody rampage if they didn't." He growled, low and soft, making sure to press his chest firmly against hers so she could feel each word in her ribcage. As expected, she was already getting breathless, her lashes fluttering against her cheeks as his hands found the crease of her hips.

"That would make both of us." She breathed, fingers finding the sharp angles of his biceps and shoulder blades, trembling. He pulled back, letting his tongue taste the area of her pulse before capturing her lips in a deep kiss.

"I do believe this sort of promotion calls for a celebration," He smirked against her lips, parting her legs with firm hands and making her trembling nearly explode into complete quaking, fingers finding sensitive spots that tore coherency clean from her lips.

Mikasa's fingers gripped tighter, hips bucking beneath him before quickly gasping, "Levi, I really don't think I can do a fourth ti—Oh..._Ooh…ah mm—_Okay, but just thi-this time…"

"Don't kid yourself," He chuckled before pulling away to burn the intensity of his gaze over her hazy one. "I fully intend to educate you in what's to come these next few years as my wife."

As expected, it was a lesson her body would not let her forget the following day… and night… and even the day after that.

* * *

_A/N: This chapter, while relatively short compared to my usual postings, is RIPE with epic foreshadowing. You'll need to pay close attention to some scenes. Hehehehehe reviews make me happy! Keep an eye out for some upcoming cover art and even the cover that will grace our stories' book cover art. :) _

_It was also brought to my attention that some of you may not be very familiar with military ranks and how they work, so to make it easier and if you're curious how I'm working the rank system—you can google search US Military Rank system and look at the Marine Rank system. I would post a link but FF throws fits when I do that so… yeah. Once you look it over you'll see why Mikasa's promotion is quite the big deal. _

_Alright, see you next time! _


	4. III: The Weight in Shadows

_A/N: You bastards better enjoy this one. **13k words**. GOD I'm exhausted. P.S someone asked me if I have this all written down. I don't. I seriously wait until Sunday before publishing day to work on it. I know I'm terrible. I should stop procrastinating like this. It ruins me. Agggggghhhhhhh ALSO, I've noticed some questions have been made. I promise next chapter will have a Q&A section; so if you have any questions, send them in now so I know what to answer!_

_Anyway, this chapter follows directly the events of last chapter's and will span the rest of the week in this world. I'll explain later if anyone gets confused… blah blah. Sleep deprivation. _

_Disclaimer: Shut up. _

**Inspired tracks are (in order of scenes): Itsuka and Itsuka Violin Guitar by Hiroyuki Sawano, ****Loftið verður skyndilega kalt by Olafur Arnalds, Harmony and Beaming Sunlight from the FullMetal Alchemist OST, and No Stone Unturned by Martin O'Donnel and Michael Salvatori from the Halo 3: ODST OST.**

* * *

**Nimbus**

**-: III :-**

**The Weight in Shadows**

_"So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love." ― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly—_

* * *

The second Li had stepped out the door, she had nearly collapsed to her knees. Face burning, legs shaking, she had half a mind to turn back around and kick her matched partner on his ass to satisfy the rage and the humiliation coursing violent surges of electricity through her shocked frame. The kiss had been unexpected, unplanned. Much like their patched up relationship was. However, that was not the worst part. Oh no. The worst part was how, despite her horror and tumult of emotions, the one that brought forth the most inner turmoil was the one that had enjoyed the entire motion of kissing Connie Springer. _How disgusting. _

Leaning against the door, the short soldier tried to ignore the ramming of her chest, craning her ears to see if she could eavesdrop through the wood and hear if Connie was crying or contemplating suicide. The memory of his lips against hers, the way his mouth felt around her tongue and how it tickled when he had moaned against her violent presses… Li felt her stomach sway and fall to her feet, making the flush in her cheeks brighten and the feeling in her chest grow tighter.

"_Shit_." She hissed through her teeth, lifting a shaky hand to press against kiss stung lips before wiping the moistness still on them with her sleeve. _What…_?

"What the _hell_…?" She heard him exhale, mirroring the very thoughts coursing her through her mind at the speed that could give the Dragon Captain a run for his money. With a vicious grunt, Li peeled herself off the door and stormed off. This was too much. She was playing with fate too much. She should have kept her distance, kept her mouth shut, _and watched her stupid temper_. Only, once again, she allowed her frustrations and her anger take the wheel when she _knew _was more than capable of being under control. She allowed her emotions to pull him into a vicious kiss that should have been in no way instigated in a _million_ years. And she enjoyed it.

"Way to _fucking_ go, Li." The auburn haired woman growled at herself, clenching her fists into tight balls as she moved away as _far, far away_ from as she could from Connie Springer. "You got angry and as usual you make stupid ass decisions. You _kissed_ him? Really? Why the hell did that even run through your head as a good idea, you stupid, _stupid, idiot _moron…"

"WHOA—WHA?!"

Li felt her stomach jump up from where it had been discarded by her rapidly stomping feet up to her throat. Whirling around, the young woman readied herself for an attack, ready to kick the person who startled her right into the next year. Instead of throwing a fist, Li could feel dread begin to collapse within her chest. A pair of shocked green eyes and auburn hair greeted her, standing several inches above her and gawping like a gutted fish. _Riza…oh no._

"Not now, little sister," Li clicked her tongue, dropping her hands and whirling back around. This was exactly what she needed. First a kiss that was never meant to happen and then the last person that should've heard about this damned kiss happened to hear on it. _Dammit. Dammit. _It was bad enough she was trying to control the raging blush running over her cheeks and darkening hated freckles, now Li had to find a way to control her ramming heartbeat and appear as if nothing happened. Only now, she had to compose herself faster than she ever had to before because now Riza was catching on and it was only a matter of time before the younger sibling began her attack. Another pair of footsteps stepped in stride beside her, matching her speed easily. _Shit_, Li thought venomously, cursing her shorter legs and wishing that genetics had been kinder to her.

While it was true Li would do anything for her sister's safety and wellbeing, there were times that sibling contempt would skyrocket. This started before they joined the Corp. In their youth, Hanna Li would always be the doting older sister, ensuring that Riza would have what she needed and wanted. While their mother had always preferred the second sister to the older, Li didn't mind the lack of attention. She preferred it. Had their mother doted on Li like she did Riza, and their youngest sister, Lidiya, there was no doubt in Li's mind that she would have exploded at some point.

Their familial situation was not completely odd, nor was it average. Li was the oldest of three and had to bear the burden of their father's heavy expectations. It was obvious to the entire world that Yuri Dorinski had wanted a firstborn son, and when he got three daughters instead he made due with what he could. Hanna Li stopped being called 'Hanna' at home and was expected to do everything a faithful son could do. As if ignoring the gender that was her sex was enough to give him the son he desired, Li's father never stopped training her and drilling her into being a good man, much to her mother's silent chagrin. Li didn't blame her mother for ignoring much of what was done by her father. He was a brute with a violent temper she hated to admit she inherited. It wasn't until puberty hit that the reality of her gender seemed to finally hit home with her father, and much of what he had drilled into her from her early years seemed to fall apart. No longer was she expected to keep her hair short, and she was suddenly seeing dresses instead of tunics and trousers. It was both frustrating as it was confusing. Her entire life, Li had been confined to the walls of her parents' expectations, of the walls that constantly surrounded her, and Li knew was that her father was happiest when Li was gruff and boyish. When the opportunity to join the military rose, she took it without remorse and when she heard of what the Survey Corp did—exploring the lands outside the walls… it was the ultimate chance of escape.

Of course, Riza never really understood. She had always been allowed to wear ribbons and dresses while Li had been expected to learn how to hold her own in a fistfight. All the younger sister knew was that Li needed to get more in touch with her feminine side—and if kissing boys was that gateway, then let the flood commence. Even if that did mean joining the military alongside her older sister.

In all honesty, it had been a nightmare when she had received that letter from their mother. Olesya had never attempted to bond with Li, didn't hug or kiss or anything she did with her other sisters aside from pat her head and call her 'good child' for protecting her sisters. Writing letters was the furthest thing her mother could do. So the whiplash that came when she read how her mother had always loved her and begged her to keep an eye out for her safety was only further pressed by a violent fear when Li was told Riza had chosen to enter the trainee years of the military. At that point, Li had already seen the violence and terror of what the Titans were. She had narrowly escaped death on three occasions and all because she had chosen to remain frightfully angry instead of falling into the fear that succumbed and killed her comrades. The last thing she wanted was for her little sister to deal with that kind of stress, see that kind of horror and lose sleep because the screams and the sights would refuse to escape aside the form of nightmares. Romance, love… there was literally no point to those things when one was trying to survive.

That's not to say Li hadn't been subject to some of her fellow trainee's affections. According to the boys in her squad, quite apparently, she was a knockout—or something like that. She wondered if it was because she had let her hair grow out, or if the years had been kind to her body despite how she abused it in training—because she had always been seen as a boy back home. Now, Li was not blind. She wasn't exempt from puberty's ministrations. Hormones were just as affecting on her as everyone else's, she just chose to ignore them and focus on staying alive. This was only ever enforced in her heart when the boy she lost her first kiss to was brutally stepped on by a 17-meter Aberrant. Since then, anger and violence had been her only fuel, much to Riza's insistence to 'let love in.'

You could imagine the relief on her sister's face when they made it out alive. Now that the titans were gone, the expectation for Li's supposed inevitable acceptance of romance had risen to a point where it was close to unbearable. It was as if Riza had ignored all the years of Li being forced to fall under the harsh criteria of a man at arms instead of a woman, and was expecting her to start braiding her hair, or fall into gossip with other girls, or just fall in love out of the blue. As if.

But, then this _stupid_ mandate happened…things were already complicated before… but it seemed the further walls were thrown down, the more the shackles of expectations tightened around her throat. And now, as Riza skipped with gleeful smugness beside her, Li could only feel the tightening constrict further around her chest—the reminder that she hadn't told her she had turned in her survey, and ultimately being matched up, played heavily on the back of her mind.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Hanna Li," Riza delved right in, long legs taking her strides further than Li's could, giving her enough gait to peer ahead into her face. Pointedly turning her face away, Li tried to keep the acid from her throat from staining the taller girl's face. "But did I just overhear you berating yourself for _kissing _someone?"

"You heard wrong." Li replied, keeping her stare fixed on the hallway ahead of her. Riza squealed, making the elder sister sigh out a tight groan.

"Oh my _GOD_." Not for the first time did Li contemplate fratricide. _Please just let it end. _ "You did! You did, you did, you did, you did!"

Turning on the point of her boot, Li forced a harsh glare over her sister's face, face burning red, "Riza, I swear to the almighty—,"

The redhead did nothing to heed the other's warnings, choosing to grin widely and with manic glee as she looped an arm through Li's arm and yanked the shorter girl down to a quieter space. Arm practically dislodged from its socket, Li had no time to exclaim as the taller girl nearly sprinted toward a nearby bench. Before she could blink, they were slammed over the stone bench, Riza's wide green gaze searching her own with intent and bright curiosity.

"Who is this mystery boy and how did this kiss happen? Did you use tongue? Is he cute?"

"Riza, I will _kill_ you—," the young girl quickly lifted a hand to silence her sister.

"Not finished," Riza scolded, "How was it? Steamy? Did he kiss back? Did he shove you against a wall and make out like they do in _Confessions of a Trost Lady_?"

"Confessions of wha-?"

"The book, Hanna Li!" Riza waved a hand flippantly, "But that's not the point. Is he tall? Not too tall, right? God knows you'd break your neck kissing someone more than five inches taller than you. Was it Alex? Did you kiss Alex? I mean, he's pretty short but I can see you being able to kiss without much problems, although I always thought he was gay. Keeps staring at Fitz's ass like it's a parfait or something. Is he from your squad? Is he? Because after Geoffrey died, I thought you swore off all kind of romantic escapade with members of your squad"—at the mention of Li's first kiss, Riza seemed to register enough human decency to backpedal, but not enough to quit rambling, "Wait, sorry, forget I mentioned him…"

"_Riza Alexandra_," Li hissed, throwing a hand up to cover over the blabbering girl's mouth. Glaring tightly at her sister's wide eyed expression, the senior cadet pulled her close enough to make the threat clear, "Shut _up_ and listen. I didn't kiss Alex, alright? I didn't kiss anyone. You heard wrong." At this, the young girl's eyes rolled with obvious disagreement. Jerking her face away, Riza swatted Li's hand away.

"Alright then, if I heard wrong and you _didn't_ kiss a boy, then why's your mouth looking like it's been half bitten off?"

Li looked away, self consciously lifting a hand to press against her lips and another zing of nerves burst through her stomach at the memory of having Connie's lips between her teeth. "None of your business." She grumbled.

The following expression that morphed Riza's face Li had seen only twice in her life. The first time, when Riza turned seven and for her birthday Li had pulled in the basket of flowers and weaves of ribbon the girl had been eyeing for months through the door. It had cost her an entire three months of saving what money her father gave her and what she took from brats who picked on Lidiya. The second time had been after Geoffrey had kissed her and when Riza had asked Li made the terrible mistake of telling her that whenever she saw him her chest got tight and she felt fuzzy headed. In that moment, Riza's eyes widened into the size of huge green shiny gems that she could compare to the fancy jewels she had seen behind glass stores in her youth. What followed was the sound of her lips popping open as her jaw dropped, and the biggest intake of breath scratched against the young woman's throat in a shocked wheeze of growing ecstatic delight. All in all, it was the biggest warning she had, but in all her years and both those times, Li had never been able to stop the following from happening. And this time would be no different.

"_OH MY GOD!_" Riza shrieked, throwing her hands to her cheeks as she proceeded to bounce in her seat and let out a series of squeals and squeaks that hurt Li's ears.

Frantic and hugely embarrassed, Li threw her hands up to cover the source of the shrieking, ignoring the icky feeling of her sister's moist mouth against her palms as she attempted to tame the storm before it got out of hand. "Are you out of your _mind_?!" Li hissed, jumping from her seat to secure her hold over her sister's mouth. "People will hear you!"

"MmMHHMM Y'MMHHMMM!" Riza hummed loudly against her hand, grinning without restraint despite Li's horrid mortifaction.

"What?"

Tugging off Li's hand from over her mouth, the auburn haired sibling squealed again before throwing her arms around her neck and pulling her in a tight hug that yanked the breath from Li's throat with a sharp grunt. "You kissed a boy and you _liked it_! You actually did it! I'm so proud of you, Hanna Li! Sister dearest of mine!" Before Li could even register her sister's hands on her shoulders, she was yanked off her body before seeing Riza press her face close to hers in an uncomfortable stare.

"I can't wait to finally write Lidi and tell her how her big sister is finally on her way to true love! Oh, this is wonderful!"

"Riza, Riza… _stop._" Li sighed, grasping the girl's hands firmly away from throwing her back into another bone crushing hug. Even as she pressed their joined hands on her lap, Riza continued to squirm happily, but seemed to finally find a place to hold her tongue. Which was a marvel in it of itself, because back then getting her to shut up was harder than taking down a 20-meter Aberrant alone.

Looking into the matching green eyes, Li fixed the junior cadet with a stern glare, "I've been matched."

Like flipping a switch, or stomping off a flame, Riza's joy fell apart. Smile falling and laughter ebbing away into some dark place within the pit that was Li's chest, the taller girl fell deathly still. A long moment of silence followed, where Riza's green gaze avidly searched Li's dejected and thinly veiled angry one with something akin to disbelief and rejection. "…I don't…" She breathed finally, uncertain.

"I turned my survey in a month ago," Li responded, keeping her voice carefully empty despite the bitterness curling in her chest and stomach. Instantly, the look of betrayal burst from the younger Dorinski's eyes, jabbing a hard knife into Li's chest. Gaze falling, shoulders slumping, Riza said nothing and Li could faintly feel soft tremors take over her hands.

"…He's the one you kissed…?"

Suddenly this wasn't a victory. All too suddenly, Li realized exactly what this was for Riza. All this time people have been matched left and right, falling under what the government decided for them instead of discovering those things for themselves. All that time, Li had expressed a hateful distaste over it openly and without care about other people's objections.

"_You're her pillar of strength, you know." Alex had told her long ago after they had returned from yet another botched expedition. Half of his face was covered in still steaming blood of a titan he had felled. It was the same expedition that Li had almost seen her sister die. Had it not been for Fitz's quick thinking, she would not be looking at the sleeping figure of her sister on the cart of the wounded, but quite possibly the remains of her corpse on the cart of the dead—if she had been lucky enough to have a body to bring back. It had been the first time Li had felt true fear paralyze her from head to toe. The image of Riza being squeezed within the manic grasp of a hungry titan would bring nightmares that would not fade easily with time. _

"_Hardly," Li had scoffed. "I don't even talk to her all that much." _

"_You're still her big sister, Li." Alex sighed, turning gray eyes to pierce her through to her soul. "I don't know why you don't talk or why you ignore her… but when she talks of you, all she says is how she wishes she were as strong as you are."_

Back then, Li had failed to protect her from the titans, having been lucky enough to have someone else save Riza when she had frozen and watched, horror struck. Now, she failed her by giving in to the Monarchy's mandate when all she had ever told Riza for the years they were both alive together was to never quit fighting.

Turning in her survey had been Li's way of throwing care to the wind and not giving a shit about the idiotic ideals of society. But to Riza… turning in her survey had been a simple resignation.

The blow of realization made her skin grow violently cold, even more so when a sudden cold breeze pulled at their hair and clothes.

That entire time… this entire time… Li had not thought of her sister, or how she would feel about this. Not once.

"…Yes." Li sighed, "He's the one I kissed."

For the space of several moments, both girls remained silent. Listening to the breeze as it breathed through the leaves of the trees around them, tearing off the weaker yellowed ones and making them fall around them in a series of golden twirls and dips. All the while, Li would sneak small glances at her sister's face, trying to discern the careful mask of contemplation over her usually expressive countenance. She hated to admit it, but there was a nervous tingle in her stomach the more she watched Riza's eyes flick back and forth between their joined hands and the ground. It only occurred to Li then that this was also the first time she had ever held on to this sort of physical contact with her… when was the last time she actually hugged her?

It was strange, discovering how much Li had pushed her away over the years. They had been so close once…

"So you admit it then," Riza's voice broke her from her nostalgic reverie, confusing her.

"Admit what?" Li asked, frowning. The frown easily melted away when Riza suddenly fixed her a mischievous peek of green eyes, lips curling into a satisfied grin.

"You admit kissing a boy then."

Just like that, Li dropped the hold she had on Riza's hand, feeling her face fall at the obvious trap Riza had pulled her in to get her to admit it. _Damn it. _When did she become so cunning? "Dammit, Riza!" Li grunted, feeling disgusted.

"Why?" the question surprised her enough to make the disdain fall apart in seconds. The smug look was gone from Riza's face and her hand was reaching back to grab at Li's fingers, shy and timid. "I had thought…"

Li knew what she thought and it only made the previous bitterness of keeping such a secret and being such a let down come back to creep on the back her throat. But the question had actually brought up a serious issue. Why _did _she kiss him?

"_You are nothing." She was only six when her father had spat that. "As a girl, you will be nothing. I will not allow a child of mine fall into such pathetic standards."_

"_I am not nothing…" _She had chanted, pushing her way through the pains of torn muscle fibers and the dealing with the stunted pains of being forced to carry things no child should have to carry. If her father told her to push and pull at immense crates to become strong, then she would do it to prove it to him. "_I am not nothing." _

"…I don't know…" Li breathed, fingers curling into fists as she recalled the memories that had assaulted her when she had Connie close to her gaze, feeling the coarseness of his lapels between clenched fists as he stared defiantly into her eyes. "I got angry…"

This whole thing is such shit.

"This whole thing is stupid," Li growled, feeling her irritation and anger mount the more she dwelled on how she had allowed herself to be controlled all her life. "All of it, Riza. I'm so fucking angry about this whole shit. I had thought after the titans were gone… that we would all be free from fear, from walls and idiot ideals. But I have to give in… I have to because it's expected of me. When I was with him, I thought it would be fun to just deal with it by poking his buttons. I don't know why, but I've never wanted to piss off someone like that before…" _Why? Why are his emotions and his expressions so contagious to me?_ She didn't realize she was ranting until she was off the bench and pacing in front of her silent sister, ignoring the surprised expression over Riza's face as she moved and huffed.

"But he made it so damn easy…he made me laugh...but he said something, he made me angry. I wasn't thinking… I wanted to feel in control. So much of it is slipping and I… I don't know."

"…Do you love him?"

A short bark of laughter burst from Li's lips before she could stop it. Turning to face Riza, Li shook her head, "There's no chance in hell I would. I only just met him a week and a half ago. You've been reading too many romance novels, Riza."

The redheaded woman shrugged in response, "And you don't read enough. Mock me if you want, but romance novels may present love as an idiotic thing, but there are truths there. Unmistakable truths and it seems like you're well on your way to falling in love with this guy."

Li blanched, eyes crinkling as she watched her with something akin to building exasperation. "Are you a woman or a soldier?" Li sighed loudly, crossing her arms and raising a brow.

"Believe it or not, but you can be both," Riza chuckled, the expression she gave her sister nearly made her falter in her condescending stare. The comment surprised her… as did the fact that it made her seem like she was older. For once, Riza didn't quite look like the irritating little sister Li had grown accustomed to dealing with. "But whatever shall we do about Fitz?" the young sister wailed, throwing her hands to her face as she stood from the bench in a dramatic rise.

That didn't last long.

"What about him?"

Riza appraised her with another wide eyed stare, speaking slowly, "You know he's been half in love with you for months now, right?"

Li shrugged, more to keep quiet because even though Riza was pretty excellent at hiding her emotions when it was suited… Fitz was another touchy subject. "You should be more worried about yourself than me when it comes to Fitz, Riza."

She perked up, taking a cautionary step forward and failing to appear nonchalant. "Why? Has he said anything about me?"

"If you're so curious, go ask him." Li sighed, turning to walk out of the small outside sitting area and back into the hallways, Riza following at her heels. "Better yet, why don't you confess _your_ undying love to him?"

In retaliation, Riza gasped and reached over to grab at one of the straps of Li's gear before tugging and letting the material snap against her skin loudly. Li yelped, turning to scowl at the taller girl. "Watch it, brat, I can still order you to do laps."

"You'd have to catch up to make me!" Riza exclaimed, sticking her tongue out before bursting into a sprint. "LI'S IN LOVE WITH A BO~OY!" She sang out, screaming.

Li gave a violent start, her face flushing a bright red before deciding quite quickly that her sister needed to shut up and she needed to shut up _now. _Bursting off into a sprint after her, Li planned her revenge all while hollering, "Riza, I swear to Maria's _ghost_ I WILL MURDER YOU_!_"

* * *

Something in the air was different. An undertone of something…off…was making the air feel heavier, danker… stiff. At first, it had been blamed on the change of seasons. Autumn was only apparent in the change of colors and a lot of rainstorms.

Moblit wasn't the kind of man to take much notice in this sort of change, preferring to focus on the scientific and the escapades his squad leader often ended up leaving him in. While the years had been kind in keeping him alive, much of his emotions had already ran dry. It's expected… when one lives the life of a soldier when times are so dark. To say it was surreal to be living now that the Titans were gone, was an understatement. He had grown up listening to the tales of his parent's youth, of them living in peace within the walls while the horror remained.

True, humanity allowed itself to grow ignorant of the monsters outside, but he liked to think that the spirit of it had woken when it was placed in danger. And it woke within the body of the young boy everyone knows to be Eren Jaeger. In such short time, he had embodied the very hope that Humanity needed. In all his years, Moblit had never been so forced to adapt as quickly as Hanji demanded him to. It was hard to place so much trust in such and angry teenage boy—a boy barely scraping his way to adulthood and riding his motivation on revenge and the blood red memory of a mother who had died needlessly. So much blood stained what should have been raised in light.

Moblit remembered his youth, he remembered it fondly. It was not the youth that this generations had suffered through, of war and bloodshed and picking up the remains of cities where they should've been playing and falling in love. No, his youth had been a relatively peaceful one. While the ever present danger of the Titans was still there, the walls provided sanctuary; they provided the happiness his family had enjoyed on their farm and their home close to the main city by Karanes. It was only his curiosity and his desire to venture into undiscovered soil that lead him to join the Survey Corp. It had been a decision he had instantly regretted.

Not long after he joined he had experienced a fear that the people within the walls would not taste until that fateful year when the Titans infiltrated. Many times since, he had wanted to leave and join the Garrison instead—since his skill level was not high enough to merit a position in the Military Police. That was, until he met the one and only Hanji Zoe.

How many times that woman scared him to death more than the very Titans themselves, Moblit had lost count. She was a force that could only be beat by that of Captain Levi's—only the Dragon hadn't joined the Military until a few years before the infiltration. He did not know much of her past or why she took such violent joy in slaughtering titans, and her avid bloodlust had frightened many in their day to the point that very few wanted to be placed in her team. Because, more often than not, she ended up driving them _toward_ the giants instead of away from them.

What the soldier could say changed about her, helped change about himself. It had been the fascination, the drive to learn more, to discover more about the Titans that drew him closer to her assistance. Soon, his assignment as her second-in-command had become less of a terrible thing and more as an opportunity to help humanity in understanding their predator. It was a good thing too, because Moblit was pretty damn certain that if it wasn't for him, Hanji Zoe would've gotten eaten by one of their captured titans long ago.

All work and serious business aside, the two soldiers had gotten to know each other fairly well. The level of trust and companionship had grown to more than simple camaraderie and more into something he could compare to a familiar relationship. He had grown to care for the woman, even to the point that he had to find ways to hide signs of her and Erwin's relationship over the years. It was one thing to secretly fool around with another soldier, it was another to have one that involved such a passionate love.

Moblit knew that Hanji was quite taken with the Commander, and he found he was rather pleased when the Commander followed suit in returning said affections. So… when the mandate was passed… he was painstakingly aware of how terrible their break up had been. He had been there the day Hanji had taken the fertility examinations, he had been there to see the light leave her eyes when it came back negative every time. He had been there when he saw that because of this, she would be forced to watch Erwin be handed off to some other woman.

Moblit had seen many things, encountered many sights and scenes that most people would not believe, but of all of them, it was the sight of seeing Hanji Zoe break down one evening in their lab and clutching to the only memento she had of Erwin, cry until she could not cry any more.

Still, despite their closeness, Moblit knew his place. So he kept his distance and didn't bring the topic up. Days passed, weeks faded and summer passed and slowly, he could see how Hanji was carefully building herself back up. The heartache had become bearable and their work and efforts had returned on overseeing Eren as he slept, ensuring he remained alive throughout his days in coma.

In short, everything was slowly going back to a point that Moblit could call normal.

Until he noticed something these past two weeks.

Something that wasn't quite right.

Every day that had passed, Hanji had walked into their office with a beaming smile on her face and sighing as if the world had finally discovered something fantastic and beautiful. At first, Moblit had assumed it had been because Eren was awake and they could finally get more research in (and by God the woman was mad about it), but this was too much. She looked star struck, windswept, and _happy. _It shouldn't have bothered him, but for some strange reason… it did.

And he found out why.

"Ah, Moblit!" The officer turned around, smiling lightly when he saw Keiji make his way from the latest caravan of correspondence. "Good seeing you," The other soldier greeted, under his arm was the familiar packet of letters and scripts that had arrived for the week, even the latest issue of the MP newspaper was tucked under his arm.

"New issue out, eh, Keiji?" Moblit chuckled, tucking his own notepad under his arm to clap the soldier around the shoulder.

"I had to get myself a copy before they were all taken," Keiji snickered in response, "I've just ran out of toilet paper so it helps to restock." The pair burst into jovial laughter, snickering at the amusing circumstance before settling in step toward the first office that needed their letters.

"Odd weather, isn't it?" Keiji asked as they walked around a corner, peering up at the blue and gray sky through one of the windows.

"Hot or cold, sunny or rain," Moblit sighed, "I do wish it would make up its mind."

"Doubtful," the other man snorted before perking up, "Although I nearly forgot, these two letters arrived for the Commander." He explained as he sorted through the mail and pulled out a thin white envelope and a smaller yellow one. Both had been stamped with the familiar red markings that placed them as Priority. "Marked as urgent. I have these other letters to deliver before taking up more correspondence up there. Would you mind taking these ones up to him?"

Moblit nodded, taking the envelopes from his comrade's hand, "I'll be sure to take them over." Keiji bobbed his head with an appreciative smile before the two exchanged farewells and parted ways. The dark haired man moved through the corridors with an easy gait, taking in his surroundings lightly as he strode toward the Commander's office. As he walked, he took a moment to look over the letters in his hands. One of them was marked with the obvious seal of High Courts, just the sight of it was enough to make bile rise to his throat and leave a nasty taste in his mouth. The other was sealed in the familiar curl of the shield of Roses—obviously bearing the sender from the Garrison.

Curious, Moblit turned the second one over his hand, looking for any sign on its cover on what its contents could hold before he heard the steps of another body heading toward him. As was the instinct, Moblit glanced up and let his gaze narrow in a flat appraisal when he saw his superior, Hanji. The woman had her arms up, hands curled in the familiar stance of someone about to pull a prank on someone else. Honestly, this woman. Sure enough, the moment he looked up, she dropped her hands with bright disappointment.

Moblit sighed, "What are you doing, Major?"

"Aww, you weren't supposed to look up, Moblit!" She groaned loudly. "You're no fun at all."

"It's not in my job description to be fun, sir." He replied, rolling his eyes but not without amusement. Hanji shrugged, but let the subject of her most recent botched attempt to frighten him drop. Instead, she noticed the mail in his hands with a raised brow.

"Mail for Erwin?" She had noticed the seal of the High Courts, her nose wrinkling with clear disdain and irritation. Moblit bobbed his head, placing the second letter back over the first within Hanji's sight.

"Not just from the MP's," he explained, not bothering to hide the shield of the Garrison. At this, her curiosity peaked, although her lips flattened in silent contemplation. Without a word she reached over and plucked the letters out of his hands. Moblit let her, he knew better than to get in the way of Hanji when she wanted something.

"What would Pixis want this time around?" She muttered, frowning as she turned the envelopes in her hands much like Moblit had just moments prior.

"They're marked as urgent," Moblit admitted, even though he was certain she could see the stamps on their slim surfaces. "I should hurry and get these over to him."

"Nah, don't worry about that," Hanji waved him off, not bothering to look at him as she spoke. Quickly and before Moblit could register, the woman was tugging her index finger under the paper and yanking upwards, breaking the seal of both letters easily. The officer gasped in shock, reaching over to grab the letters back from her, but she was already pulling away, nonchalant.

"Major!" Moblit exclaimed before lowering his voice, looking rather scandalized as Hanji opened the envelope of the High Courts and pulled out its contents. "That's not for our eyes to see!"

"Take a breather, Moblit," Hanji rolled her eyes, smirking at his expense. "The Commander won't mind. He probably would call me in anyway to talk about the contents in these envelopes. I'm just saving him the trouble of sending a cadet to find me."

The brunet man glanced around anyway, feeling strangely paranoid and keeping an eye out for any other wandering soldiers as Hanji proceeded to read over the documents. "Even so…" He began, shutting up when his superior made a short shushing sound escape through her teeth. Sighing, he relented and watched her expression as she read.

Sure enough, he could see her lip begin to curl with irritation and thinly veiled exasperation. "Fucking great," She grunted, breathing sharply through her teeth as she skimmed the rest of the information.

"…What is it?" Moblit asked, peering over her shoulder to look over the information.

"The High Courts are going to be sending Military Policemen over this next week, no doubt to harass the shit out of us and make sure the announced wedding plans for Armin and Historia are 'legitimate' or some bullshit like that." Hanji bit out, a small spray of spittle flew from her mouth as she swore, falling over the document and leaving little marks. Moblit didn't say anything. Normally, he'd warn the major to be careful with such important correspondence, but the news alone was enough to make him keep quiet. He shared in her irritation, shared in the anger that was taking over a good portion of the people for being forced to be matched up for the Monarchy's convenience. He had seen enough people have to deal with this stressful situation and it was all that plus Hanji's own predicament that kept him from filling in his own survey.

"The wedding is not until the week after this upcoming week, right?" Moblit asked. Hanji nodded, sighing again, only this time it was through her nose, so no spittle this time.

"…What day is it, Moblit?" the question surprised him.

"Oh, uh… Friday… sir…" He replied. She only nodded at him once more, spectacled gaze fixed on the documents in her hands.

"Pretentious bastards…" She huffed before tossing the documents back in its envelope and pulling out the one from the Garrison. Moblit pulled away, knowing full well that the information in there could be very well above his pay grade and he wasn't too enthused into reading into something further that wasn't his business. He had already stuck his nose in something that wasn't his business already. Only this time, he found himself regretting doing that. Slowly, he watched how her face darkened into a confused scowl before slowly morphing into an expression of dread and finally horrified surprise.

"Eh… Major?" Moblit asked, frowning as he saw her hands begin to tremble. He jumped when he saw the envelope of the High Courts fall from her shaking grip. Dropping to his knees, he quickly began to gather the documents that spewed out when the thin packet fell to the ground, but stopped immediately when he heard a strange sound escape from Hanji's throat. It sounded an awful lot like a choked sob.

"Major Hanji…?" he questioned again, hands grabbing all the information and pushing it back in its envelope as he straightened up. His chest began to tighten when he saw the flat expression over Hanji's usually bright face, and all too quickly it reminded him of those days after she had been left to pick up the pieces of what remained of her and Erwin's relationship. Her hands were holding on tightly to the papers in her hands, brown eyes jumping from the top of the page all the way down, as if assuring herself what she was reading was correct.

Finally, after a moment of death-like silence, she quietly adjusted the papers in her hands, tugged them back within the envelope and placed her thumb over the seal shaped like a rose.

"I'll take this to Erwin, Moblit." She said, voice falling into a terrifying monotone that sent fierce alarms to go off in his head. Gone was the previous amusement and light from her eyes, all that remained was the storm behind her brown gaze.

"…Ah, sir. I'm not sure that's a good idea—"

Hanji's voiced turned cold, "That's an order, Deputy."

Hesitant, Moblit acquiesced and handed the other envelope over to the woman's extended hand. Fingers curling over the slim surface, she gave him a simple nod before quickly turning and walking off, leaving the man to contemplate her actions in silence.

It didn't take him long to guess. It took him less time to confirm it in his mind. With all the evidence, and all the signs and all the little details that had tickled at his mind over these past few days, Moblit quickly put all the pieces together.

The first piece didn't shock him but did leave him feeling largely anxious; it was obvious, Hanji had begun sleeping with the Commander again. For what reason, that, Moblit still didn't know.

The second was clear; this letter had affected her very much like the discovery of her barren future held. Which promptly alerted him to the final piece; Erwin, and it is very likely, had already filled out and turned in his survey—whether Hanji knew about this or not, Moblit was not sure—and this letter confirmed that not only had he filled out his survey but that this was news about his match. But why would that information be coming from the Garrison? Unless…

Whatever this meant for Hanji, Moblit knew, would only lead to a harder falling out than had occurred before… only this time, he wasn't sure how much more his Squad Leader would be able to handle.

"…Shit…" He hissed before deciding quite fervently to start walking in the direction Hanji had disappeared off to.

He was not sure how bad the situation was, that much Moblit was still in the dark, but what he did know was that his leader was going to need him.

He would sooner walk into the mouth of a Titan than let her down.

* * *

It all seemed to make perfect sense now.

_Breathe. Inhale, exhale. Don't break down. Be strong._

Why every night this past week had felt different… anxious. Wrong.

_Keep it together. Remember to breathe. _

The nights and days that had followed that first storm, when Erwin had so openly and lovingly confessed his feelings to her, had been nirvana. Each night he had taken her in his bed, basked in sweet caresses and gentle whispers that promised to love her deeply and profoundly, even after it was all over. Their union had been of the kind that both sated and left her feeling restless in many ways. Sated in mind, body, and spirit. Restless, because she wanted to make it last but knowing full well their expiration date was fast approaching.

_Don't break down. Inhale, exhale. Breathe. Keep walking._

She had believed him. She had believed him so truly when the date of the match was supposed to arrive and he only denied its arrival. _"You know I would never lie to you, right?"_ Did he not whisper those same words in her ears in the comfort of their sheets? Did he not value that promise? Or had it just been a way to silence her doubts and worries while he kept this vicious secret from her, and proceeded to lead her on when they should have ended?

"_I love you. That is what matters to me."_

Her legs felt like lead, lungs threatening to collapse beneath the weight of this new development. Hanji had once believed she would be able to detach herself emotionally from precarious circumstances because that's all she had been able to do when it was demanded of her. But this… this played too close to the heart. No matter how hard she tried, she knew that she could not detach herself from her own heart, lest she allowed herself to truly die and she had promised him to stay alive. She had promised. She kept her promises… did he not value their promises enough to keep them?

_To the Commander of the 13__th__ Legion of the Survey Corp,  
Erwin Smith,_

The letters in her hands burned her. She wanted to burn them. She wanted to pretend that time wasn't up, that Erwin hadn't decided to be so selfish that he would lie to her just to keep her close…

_Given the present circumstances, I would find it prudent to write you on this occasion. It has been a week since I received my verdict concerning the mandate enforced by the Monarchy. In that time, while it is comprehensible our communication has not begun due to our distance, I do believe there must be a point where there we must face toward this present reality._

Hanji knew this would happen, knew that their time had been spent and even overextended. She knew that Erwin was not hers anymore, no matter how many times he pledged his heart and loyalty to her… on paper he was not hers and would not be. In this day and age, paper was more important. Paper took prestige.

Hanji knew. Because when one is a soldier, one is expected to bend to the powers of paper and orders and cast aside the matters of the heart. _For the greater good._

_Damn the greater good._

She inhaled, then exhaled, but could not stop the feeling of agony, the torrent of violent emotions threatening to overwhelm her. This was a flood she could not stop. _It's over, Zoe. It's over. _

_How could something ever end when it never truly began?_

She had to move. She had to get out of here. With a swift turn, Hanji changed course and rushed as fast as she could without raising alarm toward a dark corner somewhere. Faces passed without so much as a glance, and for that the woman was grateful, even more so when she had managed to find a dark little hallway quick enough to retreat within. _Breathe. Inhale, exhale. Almost there. _

_I am not entirely certain, personally, on how one should approach this sort of thing. I speak frankly, I have been expected to resign my freedoms to join with yours. It is expected. In a sense, we all know what we were getting ourselves into when we turned in our surveys. I had expected different results as I'm sure you have as well. That is to say, you have received your end of our match. _

The words. Those treacherous words. How could such simple words drive such horrid knives into her stomach? In the rush to escape, Hanji stumbled. Foot striking an uneven stone in the ground ahead of her and before she could attempt to stop, she fell to her knees. The force of her fall ripped her glasses clean from behind her ears to clatter against the ground, the documents fell from her trembling grasp to slap against the stone.

_I have been assured that you have, and although your silence is understandable, it is also slightly disconcerting. Then again, this is no easy thing to face. I have to constantly remind myself that we are still human, even after facing such terrible ordeals. Our survival alone does not constitute our invincibility, but apparently it does constitute our necessity to breed. Nevertheless, I write you not only to share words with you, but news as well. _

The tears are escaping without end, forcing their way out her eyes and yanking tight hiccups from a chest that was too tight with too many burdens. The ground is cold around her, scratching without mercy at her palms and biting into her skin as she broke down. Hanji had hoped…so foolishly hoped when she knew this world was too cruel to listen to such tender pleadings.

_I have been in contact with my superior officers and even with Commander Pixis. It has been agreed that our inevitable meeting must be done with my take off from my post. Yours is a position that requires much attention where you are, and so, it has been decided that I must come to you. _

Each stroke of ink on that paper was a reminder of Hanji's true place. No matter how much she wished it would not be… it was not beside Erwin. Body shaking, Hanji collapsed to her side, curling into a tiny ball as she allowed herself the capacity to feel so heavily the nature of this emotional betrayal. _Why didn't you just tell me…?_ Another sob wracked through her frame, hair pressed over her eyes, sticking to her tear stained cheeks and clinging to the corners of her parted lips as she fought the urge to wail. _Why didn't you just tell me…? We could have faced this together… we could have found out together… why…?_

This world is cruel.

_I will be making my journey to the Survey Corp Castle this upcoming week. I cannot give you a specific date, for I do not even know when my arrival shall be. Commander Pixis said you are a good man. That I have been lucky to be matched to a man of your caliber. It is probably too early to make such statements… but I trust the Commander's words. I cannot speak for myself in this instance. I am not the kind of woman to pay attention to this sort of nature and, therefore, I cannot tell you if you will find me agreeable. _

She didn't know why, but as she cried all she could think of was how Erwin had once pressed such feather soft kisses against her nape to wake her. The reality that she would never feel such gentle and loving caresses from him again tore through her chest. _He's not mine anymore. He never was. _

_Even so, I suppose all judgments shall be made when we finally meet under these present circumstances. I will bring along some information the Commander asked me to bring. I hope this letter has found you well… _

In the dark of this little hallway, in this little corner hidden from sight, Hanji Zoe allowed herself to be so brokenly human.

_I look forward to hearing from you. _

In the dark of this little corner, Hanji cursed her own foolishness. She cursed her agony, her heart and the burden of knowing that she had let this happen. In the dark of this hidden space, Hanji cried until she could cry no more. When she had laid within its shadows long enough, she stood, picked up her discarded glasses and composed herself before grabbing at the envelopes and finally made her way out of her hiding place.

When Hanji emerged, she was staring straight ahead and her shoulders were squared. There was a dark gleam of defiance in her gaze and a firmness in the grip of her hands. She would deliver the letters.

She would ensure Erwin got them, personally.

_Rico Brezenska  
Squad Leader of the 1__st__ Division of the Elite Force  
of the Garrison_

Time was up.

* * *

"Hey, Eren." Armin said softly, gasping as he leaned his hands against his knees. The young titan shifter was just several steps ahead, bouncing on his heels to keep his muscles warm. Over the past few days, Eren met up with Armin as frequently as the new Lance Corporal's schedule allowed him, mainly because the wedding was fast approaching and as needed, Armin needed much of Eren's advice when it came to putting things together. A little fact that confused the titan shifter, because, honestly, what could he put to offer? He didn't know how to set up a party, much less help give advice about wedding things. Nevertheless, Armin kept Eren in the loop, talking to him animatedly about some of the things he had learned when he had delved into his investigations concerning the kind of event.

Despite his lack of expertise and even knowledge, Eren didn't mind at all. One could even say, the young shifter enjoyed much of the time he spent with Armin. Their conversations soon became highlights of his day and made dealing with silence and the tense atmosphere that came when Eren entered a room filled with other soldiers more bearable. Even dining with their friends felt different… but that was probably because, more than ever, everyone was truly concerned about their own fates rather than humanity's alone. It was nice and desperately appreciated… the fact that Armin would still be the sort of person who still saw the boy of their youth, rather than the monster he could become.

Soon, Eren found himself solely in the company of Armin's. They had started sharing their training time, staying fit in each other's presence when their schedules coincided—which was almost always because while Eren was still a soldier of the Corp, he hardly had been given much to do since he had woken (a little fact that had made Captain Levi only pour more chores over his head, much to his chagrin). Each time reminding him of their days spent running through the streets of Shiganshina, and the nostalgia was nice enough to make each outing pleasant. So when Armin got out of filling documents and following with inspections of Cadet Squadrons and equipment, they would change into simple sweat clothes and go for a run around the castle and through its woods.

"What now, Armin?" the brunet called, grinning despite rosy cheeks and sounded a bit winded. "You need another break? I'm starting to wonder who was really in a coma for the past four months."

"Shut up," Armin retorted, but grinned nonetheless in response. "I'll have you know I can run circles around you, Jaeger."

"Bring it on, Arlert," Eren laughed, waving a hand in a challenging gesture. Armin chuckled, dropping his head as he proceeded to pant through sweaty lips.

A few seconds passed as a breeze blew over them, casting their heated skin with its cool caresses and they both inhaled deeply in unison at the fresh temperature. Armin straightened with a soft bounce of his feet, but lifted a hand in pause toward his friend—who was more than ready to keep running. "Hold on, Eren, I wanna ask you something."

"I'm not giving you a head start, Arm." He teased, placing tan hands on his hips.

"Not that, you suicidal moron," Armin rolled his eyes before quickly spitting to the side, running his tongue through his teeth. "It's about the wedding." At the mention of the grand, momentous occasion, Eren lifted a brow and tilted his chin, curious. "As you know we've been pretty busy getting the whole thing together. Deciding on flowers and what flavor the cake will be—oh shut up."

Eren blinked in alarm, "I didn't say anything!"

"—yeah, well you were thinking it. Don't think I don't know your face, Eren. You were laughing at me." Armin grunted, yet his eyes were narrowed in the obvious glint of amusement and Eren could only chuckle in response.

"Get on with it, Armin, what do you want to ask?"

The amusement seemed to fall and suddenly the young soldier dropped his chin again before running his hand through his hair, a nervous habit he had picked up soon after he allowed his hair to grow from the iconic bob. Eren watched him, growing more curious the more he watched his childhood friend pick at words with a timid approach.

"Well, the thing is… there are certain traditions that must be upheld in a wedding, you see. Like the Polterabend, for instance."

Eren quickly interjected at the mention of the party before the wedding, "Wait, you're doing the Polterabend? I didn't think the Corp had enough porcelain to shatter for the night."

"It helps to have the Merchants' Guild on our side for those sort of things," Armin replied, grinning a toothy grin Eren quickly found contagious. After years of being harassed and even used by the Merchants, it was nice to be able to have a reason to mess with them. No doubt the Polterabend would make many of them writhe with irritation.

"Awesome," Eren laughed. "I'll be sure to shatter as many plates as I can."

Armin nodded before moving on, "Anyway, there's a tradition that my grandfather had told me once when I asked him about my parents and their wedding day and it's something I want to follow."

The brunet nodded slowly, sensing that this was a serious topic and judging by Armin's fidgeting, he had a feeling it had to do with himself. It took a moment of Armin playing with the edge of his sleeves before Eren could feel himself growing impatient, "Well, what is it?"

"R-right… well." Armin stammered before clearing his throat. "You've been my friend since we were children, Eren. I've really grown to admire you and hold your opinion of myself quite high. Essentially, you're important to me. As is Mikasa, but you've really been there for me and the two of you have helped me overcome a lot to where I am right now. In fact, the fact I even had the courage to ask Historia to marry me, I owe a lot to what the two of you have done."

There were very few times in his life that Eren had ever started feeling emotional. Seeing his friends become his family, seeing Mikasa smile happily at Levi's side… those were some of the times he could honestly say he felt a stirring in his chest, and right now, he was starting to feel it. Finally, Armin turned his blue gaze right directly into his own, firm and determined and making Eren nearly take a step back with how impressive it all was.

"Eren, it would honor me if you accepted the role as my best man… at my wedding." He said, quickly pulling his body into the strict stance of a soldier at ready.

Eren was stunned, blinking wide green eyes as he registered Armin's words and even what it implied. He had known for several years how much Armin had meant to him, had meant to both him and Mikasa. When you had to break it down, it was both him and Mikasa that had become the core of his family, the very lifeblood and reason for his existence. Both had supported him without complaint throughout his entire life, choosing to stand by him when all others looked away. Their loyalty, Eren would never dare question and the fact that even now Armin—despite growing up and falling in love with Historia—still looked to him with such high respect…

Eren quickly looked away, turning his eyes over to the sky to push back the strange prickle that threaten to tear in his eyes and make him into a blubbering fool in front of his friend. Coughing loudly, the young dark haired man took in a shuddering breath, holding back the rising urge in his throat to sob.

A few moments passed as Eren composed himself before deciding he still had to give his friend an answer. Nodding resolutely, he turned back into Armin's expectant gaze before marching up the blonde and pulling him into a tight embrace. The blonde man let out a startled gasp, one that shuddered when Eren slammed his hand over his back several times in a brotherly gesture. Eren took that time, now that his face was thoroughly obscured, to wipe at any runaway tears that had managed to escape his stronghold and when he was certain he was ready to look his brother in the eyes, he pulled away.

"I would be honored to be your best man, Armin."

To his ever growing shock, Armin was already crying. Big tears the size of lemons fell down the Lance Corporal's face as he grinned a watery smile. Eren nearly burst out laughing, it didn't matter how the years had changed them both—Armin was still going to be the teary eyed boy that had followed him into war without a second thought.

"Th-Thank you, Eren." He wept, lifting an arm to clasp over Eren's shoulder and dammit it made big tears start falling from his eyes too. "I'm g—grateful for your friendship."

"S-Stop it, Arm," Eren grunted, but the tears kept coming and he could do nothing but let out a tight wheeze when Armin took a big step back against his torso, squeezing him hard as they both continued to cry over something as dumb as a wedding tradition. After a few moments, Erin finally pushed the blond man away, clearing his throat several times and wiping at his face furiously with a sleeve while Armin sniffed back his emotions.

"Ahem," Eren cleared his throat again, tugging at his tunic as Armin rubbed his sleeve under his nose. For a moment they stood wiping at their faces before turning and beginning to walk down the path ahead. Silence followed until Eren's face curled with mock disgust. "Oh. Wait. Does this mean I'm making a speech?"

"Yes and it better be damn good," Armin said, completely serious. "You're lucky I'm giving you this much time to work on it, I want you to make Historia cry."

Eren laughed again, "That won't be hard, she's almost as emotional as you are."

"I wasn't the only one crying just now, you twit." Armin snorted, throwing a hand up to smack the taller man in the arm. "At least know that I'll return the favor on your wedding day." The two shared another laugh that fell quicker than Armin had expected. Sure enough, when Armin turned to face his friend he caught the tense expression marring Eren's face. "Eren…?"

The young man's lips curled upwards into a grim smile that didn't last long at all. Another breeze pushed against them, ruffling Eren's dark hair and pushing it over his face and obscuring his green eyes. Armin frowned, sniffing the last of the previous tears away.

"It's a nice gesture, and I appreciated it…" He trailed off before heaving a slow sigh and turning his chin to face the sky, "But, I can't be allowed to marry, Armin."

A sound like someone punching him in the gut escaped passed the blond's lips, rendering him mute and staring wide eyed at the titan shifter. For a while neither spoke and wouldn't speak for a while after, all manner of good joy seemed to have faded along with the bright sunlight as it was obscured by a dark gray cloud.

"…What?" the question fell from Krista's lips later that night as Armin recounted the events to her as they were getting ready for bed. The petite blonde woman had fallen deathly silent by his side, covered in only one of his nightshirts and a pair of his boxers. It would've been rather the exciting sight for him, and it should have been because it was the first time she had greeted him like that when he returned to his room after he concluded his work. Instead of jumping in bed with her to tickle her for being such a tease before their wedding, he could only smile warmly at her—which surprised her and led her to approach him with a soft murmur and hold on his face.

"What's wrong…?" She had asked him, her big eyes searching his solemn gaze by his side on the bed. Before long Armin was explaining his conversation with Eren, and soon her big blue eyes had gone wide with terrible and sympathetic sadness. Armin sighed rubbing a hand over his face soon after he tugged his shirt over his head.

"According to Hanji…"

"…_The Monarchy can't trust my existence. As far as they know, I am the last titan shifter alive." Eren stated, fingers yanking at long stalks of green grass heatedly, even while his voice remained carefully passive and empty. "In my blood runs the last of the titan genes. They're afraid that if I get married and have kids, I'll pass that down. The dangers of the Titans rising again rest completely within my blood." _

"How terrible…" Krista murmured, biting on her lower lip and reaching to press a hand over the fist Armin had over the sheets. "But…there has to be some other way, right?" She asked, expression of hope falling faster than a shooting star when Armin shook his head.

"_I am the last of the Titans, Armin." Eren faced away, and Armin could feel his own anger begin to mount. _

"It's cruel…" He said, scowling. "He helped save humanity using the very power they now condemn…"

"…_and because of that, I have no choice but to live the rest of my years alone. And die alone." _

"_Not alone," Armin had exclaimed. "You've got us, remember? You're still human to us, Eren." _

_Eren let out a soft gust of air through his nose, smiling a wry grin before it, too, faded. "It's a nice sentiment… But to them, I'm not. And to them I never will be… so long as this power resides inside of me." Green eyes looked back up to stare into Armin's with an expression that nearly caved him. He had never seen him look so defeated. "You and Mikasa…and the rest of Captain Levi's squad may see me as human… but I will always be the monster people hate and fear." _

"…What did you say?" Krista whispered after Armin fell silent, her hands were slowly running through the locks of his hair. Slender fingers brushed through the golden mane of his hair, gently pulling apart tangles and pushing them from his face as he stared at the ceiling.

"Nothing…" Armin admitted and his eyes closed in shame. "I said nothing."

The silence that followed was heavy and hard, yet Krista gently curled against his side and while the burden continued to weigh heavily against his own chest, her presence was calming and soothing as she continued to memorize the contours of his body before falling asleep. While it was enough to stir his chest into something warm, the pit of his stomach grew at the reminder that Eren would not be able to experience these tender mercies, all because the government failed to see the man… instead of the monster.

* * *

"You ready?"

"Are _you_ ready? Because if this goes through I'll be that much closer to being you're equal."

Steel blue narrow eyes rolled as Levi reached over to tug on his fiancé's jacket. Mikasa grinned at him, watching him as he adjusted her clothes enough for her to look presentable. It had been nearly two full and a half weeks since they became engaged and just a few nights since Mikasa had told Levi of her impending promotion. Not for the first time did she find herself gazing into his narrow gaze with a pensive wonderment, taking in the sight of how his hair loved to fall over his eyes and how it was getting longer. He returned the favor by silently reaching up to brush at that same strand of inky hair that fell between her eyes.

Sighing, Mikasa let him fuss—years ago, she would have found herself rolling her eyes and even jeering at his mannerisms, feeling irritation when he ensured things were extra clean and sighing with exasperation at his tugs and nags. Now, each tug and pull made small smiles appear over her face like the kisses he liked to press against her when no one was looking. The sense of irony that came with realizing how much she had loathed him, but then had grown to love him continued to press amused twinkles against her lashes, and she was quite certain it would not fade with time. She just couldn't see herself coming to hate those things now. They were what made him so fantastically and incandescently wonderful in her eyes.

The short Captain let out a short grunt when her leering smirk refused to fall, "Did you even iron your shirt like I told you?"

"For the last time, _yes_." She sighed, reaching to pull his griping hands away, choosing instead to lift one of the grabby limbs and press soft kisses against the digits around hers. "If you keep nagging I may reconsider being your wife."

"You know I could always change your mind right back," He responded cooly, but his eyes were warm and there was a hint of a smile playing against the corners of his lips.

"Yeah," She sighed again, kissing his ring finger gently. "You could."

"Mikasa," Levi hummed and she could feel her belly grow warm at the way he spoke her name. Is this what love did? Made every passing second feel more wonderful than the last? "You should stop."

"Do you want me to stop?" his fingers twitched and she pressed a sultry smirk against his knuckles—knowing full well he caught the way she had mimicked his words, when he had her pressed against a hallway and kissing her knuckles much like she was doing now.

"No," He chuckled, "But Keiji is staring and I'm pretty sure that means it's time."

Onyx eyes blinked curiously before she turned, feeling a sheepish smile grow over the seductive tilt she had graced her lover at the sight of Keiji's awkward and silent shifting. No doubt the man had heard rumors about what happened when someone interrupted them and kept a safe distance away. Smart man. Sighing once more, Mikasa pressed another kiss over Levi's pink finger before dropping his hand.

"You coming with, old man?"

Levi's eyebrow quirked, "I have duties to attend to. Surely, you don't need me to hold your hand while Erwin tells you whether or not you should be my lieutenant or my lieutenant."

"And if I do?" Mikasa retaliated. Levi rolled his eyes again, but did not move an inch. She shrugged and tugged at his sleeve, "Come on. Let's do it together."

He let out a long sigh, "Ackerman." She held back a grin, knowing full well he was only using her last name as a last resort to keep himself from giving in.

Mikasa tugged again, "It's a pretty big deal. I figured those sort of things were shared with important people."

"Well, it's not going to be much of a surprise," Levi snorted, but made no move to leave. He didn't move at all. The young woman let her fingers fall from his sleeve to curl against his fingers, the same ones she had just finished kissing.

"What would you rather do? Clean you're already bleached office or stand by my side when Erwin announces that I'm to be _your_ lieutenant?" she was getting through to him, she could see it with the way his eyes flashed at the way she told him she would be his underling. It was a small in-joke between them, because when she had demonstrated a slight irritation at being placed under him in rank, he had only grinned and leaned close enough to press his lips near her ear.

"_Yes, but we both know you don't mind being under me at all, don't we, Mikasa?"_ To fight back, she ended up grabbing him around the collar and yanking him in the direction of his room and proving very much how he wouldn't mind her being on top instead. The memory sent tingles through her skin and right into his, and in his eyes she could see exactly how he had revisited that particular happenstance in his mind already. _Gotcha. _

"Well, now that you mention it," He said, letting his voice drop several timbres and decibels, making her nearly groan and push against his body. "I did just get a new file cabinet that could do with a good disinfecting."

"_Levi._"

"Alright," He smirked, "We'll go in together, but mark my words, woman. You bring up the rank card again and I'll make it a point to have you forget how to walk."

Mikasa smiled again before leaning in to press a kiss over his temple, whispering, "Aye, Aye, Captain." Fingers squeezing around hers once, Levi pressed a hot promise into her eyes before he let go, peering around Mikasa's shoulder to nod at the severe looking officer's face.

"We're good to go, Lieutenant." Levi nodded and fell in step beside her as they headed into Erwin's office. All was fine as they marched through the door, Mikasa schooled her features into something less teasing and more serious for the occasion waiting to happen. To Mikasa, the Commander looked as he usually did; expression still and watchful, sitting with his back arrow-straight against his chair and arms resting over the surface of his immense desk. Yet, the moment they stepped through the doors, Levi visibly stiffened beside her, his narrow eyes tightening over Erwin's appearance in a flash before appearing as bored as they usually did.

Long ago, Mikasa would not have been able to notice this sudden yet subtle change. Now, it was clear to her and even something she had been able to catch fairly quickly. Still, when she turned her gaze back over the Commander, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Even so, she knew better than to question the man at her side, and it only made the air around them feel… off.

"Levi, Cadet Ackerman." Erwin greeted, nodding to them formally.

"It's Mikasa, Erwin," the raven haired man sighed, but the teasing tones were gone. "Start getting used to her name."

"Mikasa, then." Their blond leader amended, and that's when Mikasa thought she was able to catch it. There had been something in his voice when he spoke that sounded tight, forced. As if he were making an effort to sound amicable even though someone could be stepping harshly on his toe. When he blinked those blue eyes over to her, the feeling was gone and Mikasa was once again facing Erwin as she always did. "I've news about your promotion."

"Good news, I hope?" Mikasa replied, smiling faintly in an attempt to lighten the suddenly pressing and confusing atmosphere. At her side, Levi was still tense, as if wound up and preparing to explode into action, yet Erwin appeared passive, lax even. _What's…going on?_

The Aryan man nodded and he lifted a single document from atop his desk, "This is a letter from the High Military Court. It states here that the promotion you are being considered to be transferred into has been met with little to no objections. In fact, I can feel safe to say that you are practically no longer a Senior Cadet, Mikasa."

The young woman nodded, feeling somewhat satisfied at his words, only she could not bring herself to openly speak about it. The tension in the air was becoming almost palpable and, frankly, it made her feel uncomfortable. "…However…" Levi spoke, as if sensing the undertone of Erwin's following words before she could even consider it.

The Commander sighed, "However, an evaluation must be conducted by an officer chosen by the Military Court."

"An evaluation?" Mikasa questioned.

"What does the Military Court have to do with her promotion, Erwin?" Levi scowled, voice taking on an edge that was making bells chime in the back of her head. "Last I checked, evaluations were not done by the Pigs concerning Survey Corp promotions of rank."

Erwin was unfazed, "Due to the nature of the promotion and the unusual circumstance it presents; Mikasa must be evaluated under different eyes. I suspect this is also because of the reasons behind her age and reputation as one of our best soldiers."

Mikasa shook her head, not entirely understanding, "Wait, so… what does this mean?"

"It means you are expected to travel to the Court itself and undergo your evaluation in the capital. If all goes accordingly, you will be allowed to rise in rank as I intend. You're scheduled to leave the day after Armin and Historia's wedding."

"That's in two weeks…" She muttered. When she turned back to look at her Captain she was surprised to see a dark scowl over his face, marring his eyebrows and casting his eyes in a hollow shadow. Why his expression had darkened, she wasn't sure and Mikasa had to hold back from reaching over to grasp his hand within her own. Before she could voice her confusion over the ever tightening atmosphere, Levi had straightened to stare flatly into Erwin's eyes.

"Would that be all?" He asked.

The broad, blond man inhaled deeply, placing the document back on the surface of his desk before interlinking his fingers over his lips, "Yes," He permitted. "That is all."

Frowning, Mikasa tried to meet Levi's gaze, hoping to get an answer from him, at least if it was a silent one. However, he swiftly turned and began to head for the door, "Let's go, Mikasa." She bobbed her head lightly as she pressed her fist into a salute toward Erwin before turning to follow Levi out the door.

"Hold on, Levi." Erwin's voice stopped them, "If you would, I mean to speak with you. In private."

The Captain let out a slow breath through his lips, straightening, he turned to face their leader, "Very well."

Feeling dismissed, Mikasa exchanged a quick glance with the short man, letting their hands brush lightly as she turned to leave. _Will you be alright?_

Levi's gaze softened beneath hers, nodding his chin just a fraction. _Yes, we'll talk later. _Giving him a soft smile, the raven haired woman turned and walked toward the door, but not before noticing a thin silver necklace with a curious green gem pressed between twin silver wings placed haphazardly over the small book stand by the door. She didn't bother to mention it but couldn't help but feel like that was the last place the simple jewelry should have been. The door closed behind her with a soft click and with it the last she saw of the necklace.

* * *

_I'm so done. It's four in the morning and I need to be up at seven. You little twerps better review. More foreshadowing so look out!  
See you next Monday! …Oy…_


	5. IV: The Fruits of Their Labors

_A/N: I must apologize for the late update (even if it's still Monday-ish) I haven't had much time to squeeze writing in and enjoying the last of my vacation. Rest assured that next week will be a lot smoother now that I'm returning to the states this Thursday. It's been a good few weeks in my home country. I'll be sad to leave but happy to return to my room and reliable wifi. Shit's going down. _

_This chapter, timeline is kind of jittery so again, if there is confusion as to what's going on let me know. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own SnK. Custody battle is still in favor of Isayama. Soon…_

_**Inspired tracks in order of scenes: Blood on my hands by Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard from The Dark Knight OST , Aruarian Dance by Nujabes, Labor of Love by Michael Giacchino, and Forgotten Wings—Wasurerareta Tsubasa by Yoko Shimomura, from the Drammatica album.**_

* * *

**Nimbus  
**  
**-: IV :-**

**The Fruits of Their Labors**

"You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control." ― Megan Chance, _The Spiritualist_

* * *

_Happiness can be found in the smallest places, Captain._

He remembered the way the light sang when it hit her eyes just right, the way her smile twinkled at him and how her light hair swayed in the breeze as she swept the courtyard. _Maybe that's the reason why we haven't all died out. __He remembered the sound of her laughter—soft, airy and always bright enough to make even the smallest smiles lift his lips. _

_Humanity is not unlike the flowers in the garden, Captain. _She had once said. He remembered scoffing, but instead of getting upset she would only shrug. _You can think it's a ridiculous idea, but it's not._

He's dreaming. He knows he is.

_Flowers are frail and easily broken, you only have to press your thumb just a bit before their stems break, before their petals fall apart and they lose their scent and beauty._

She's smiling at him, laughing at one of Erd's jokes. He remembers standing next to her after she breaks down, holding onto the flower charm of one of the recent casualties. Suddenly she's crying, screaming for his orders behind him. _"CAPTAIN, YOUR ORDERS!"_

"Levi…"

She's against the tree now, blood drying on her face, smile gone and her eyes empty… so empty…

_But they grow despite the rain, and the wind. Despite opposition, flowers always grow. And like Humanity, they're always reaching for the sun. _

_I'm sorry…I couldn't save you…_

_Soft hazel eyes, denied of life are suddenly dark, a stark gray that had no longer gazed at him lovingly under moonlight. The sandy strands of hair bleed into inky black, and pink lips are stained with the blood of a wound too damaging to restore hope. Suddenly, it was not Gunther who hung upside down, head hanging by a thread of skin and nerves, but Jean. _

_No…_

_It was not Erd who was bitten into two pieces, eyes still open as the last of his innards stained the ground, Armin's body was strewn like broken puzzle pieces—tears still falling from faded eyes. _

_Please, no…_

_It was not Auruo's broken frame that lay in strangled angles, but Eren's, blood leaking from his eyes and mouth in a shattered gaze. _

_No, no… no…_

_Petra's smashed body no longer smeared precious life against the trunk of the immense tree, and Levi could feel more than rage…more than agony when her face had changed to the features of the woman he had grown to love after having lost so much. _

_Mikasa…!_

"Levi!"

His eyes snapped open and he realized how hard he's shaking, above him moonlight curved within a worried gaze. _Petra?_ No… these eyes are not a gentle hazel of honey and green. This is the concerned stare of the slanted onyx and silver, soft blonde hair bled to black and he stared, not recognizing—confused and even terrified. The touch of something gentle on his face made his body jolt and the sensation brought back recent memories, pulling him out of the turmoil that was a nightmare riddled mind and back into the safety of her embrace.

"Mikasa…" He breathed. She nodded, eyebrows furrowed as she brushed the sweaty bangs from his forehead, letting out soothing sighs as he fought to catch his breath. His heart was pounding, practically choking him with the force of adrenaline and fear.

"Hey, hey, It's okay," She hushed. Levi let out a shuddered breath, dragging his mind to focus on the way she felt pressed to his skin and he grabbed for her, yanking her against him as he hid his face in her neck. "Hey," She sighed, but he can feel the worry in her heart, pounding fast as she held him.

"Just a nightmare," She stroked his neck and he hates himself because he cannot stop the tears.

"No… it wasn't." He mutters through clenched teeth. Mikasa remained silent as he inhaled and exhaled shuddered strokes of breath against her skin, until she shifted to lean over him once more.

"What is it…?" She whispered, dark eyes searching his through the faint light of the moon. "Tell me."

He almost did.

"I want the following conversation to be strictly confidential," Erwin had declared, blue eyes staring off into some unknown direction while Levi watched him curiously. The shorter man's eyes narrowed once more, eyebrow twitching before he turned, reached for the lock on the door and flicked it with a firm _clack_.

"Very well," Levi replied, taking several steps closer to the large desk within the Commander's office. Erwin motioned to a chair with a hand, his eyes remaining far away even while Levi acquiesced in silence and sat across from his commanding officer.

"By confidential," the blond man proceeded, and his eyes were abruptly piercing against him and the gravity of the situation seemed to sink a dark foreboding in Levi's lungs. "I mean, there is absolutely no chance Mikasa or any of your squad members should ever come to know of this."

The Captain's jaw tightened, muscles clenching as the foreboding spread to the rest of his chest. With a curt nod, Levi agreed despite hating the fact that this would be a secret he had to keep from her. It was not an altogether new experience, having to agree in keeping information out of his squad's hands—but this was Mikasa. The woman he had desired to marry and now Erwin was asking him to keep a secret from her. Even so, Levi knew the man had his reasons, and if Mikasa must remain in the ignorant dark concerning this… then there had to be a fucking good one.

"You were right to doubt and suspect the evaluation," Erwin commenced, placing his hands over the wood of his desk as he glanced down over the documents upon it. Levi let his gaze drop to the slim papers, noting they were the very pieces of information bearing the symbol of the High Courts. "It is an unusual request despite the unusual circumstances."

"Being?"

Strong fingers rapped in a series of taps over the papers, "Mikasa's promotion is not one I decided to give on a whim."

"I figured as much," Levi said, bringing his attention away from the papers and back to the broad man in front of him. "What exactly is happening, Erwin?" the smallest twitch of muscle tugged at the creases of the Commander's eyes, lips tightening just a fraction despite Levi's heavy scrutiny. It seemed to be enough for the shorter man, eyes widening and eyebrows raising before coming down into a hard scowl.

"Do they suspect you?"

"Of course they suspect me." Erwin replied, lifting a hand to grip at the bridge of his nose once before falling back over the papers. "While it is humorous of us to entertain the fact they are easily fooled, Levi, we cannot simply forget that the investigations were never completed."

The dark haired man leaned forward, pressing an elbow over the desk before slowly enunciating, "You were acquitted. The trial was put to rest. Nile Dawke is rotting in a cell right now with enough evidence against him to keep our asses squeaky clean for the rest of his pathetic life, and they still _doubt_?"

At this, the Aryan smiled, "Wouldn't you?"

Levi let out a slow breath, eyebrows knitting together as his lips dipped into a grim line. "What do they want with Mikasa…?"

"It's a matter of what they want with the both of you." Steel blue eyes glanced up, confused and even a bit alarmed.

"The both of us?"

Erwin's expression was one of tight and grave contemplation. Levi would not dare openly admit it, but the man's words were beginning to frighten him—a feeling Levi had always hated with every fiber of his being. The tension in the room rose to an insurmountable degree, pressing over the nerves of the silent Captain waiting for a steadier indulgence of information. The seconds passed and Levi felt his hands curl into fists, spit feeling pasty within his mouth even as Erwin let out a slow stream of air through his nose.

"Erwin."

"I fear, Levi…" It was tentative and even delicate how Erwin approached the following words, cautionary to an extreme. He recognized this tone the man took and it only made the hackles of his growing aggravation and violent need to _know_ rise and press tightness behind his eyes. "…that your match may have been done with more to do than your connections and more to do with darker ulterior motives."

The tightness pressed behind his throat now, making it almost impossible to register oxygen at a safe rate, "Explain."

"You and Mikasa are the strongest the Corp has to offer," _Obviously. _"Easily, I would say, you could overpower many of the men within the Military Police. Together, you are a near unstoppable machine of destructive power."

It may have been the result of such a serious topic that brought up to mind a particular memory of Mikasa sitting above him, her eyes close with wild abandon as they moved and rocked together at a powerful pace—_damn straight we are_—he thought, but quickly shoved the desire to make such an inappropriate quip. It was neither the time, nor the place. "Get to the fucking point," Levi berated, feeling the anxious flame of this pressure take in a breath despite Erwin's warning glance.

"Several months ago—and I suspect it was during the time of the trials—someone must have noticed the tension between you and your fiancé." The man elaborated, "If you remember, you were not in each other's best favor." The reminder was unnecessary and had brought a firmer taste of acid in Levi's tongue. Composed, the captain held back from snapping once more and settled on nodding even as Erwin continued.

"My suspicions are such; your dynamic as a Titan-killing machine is legendary and noteworthy. No doubt pairing you both would establish the obvious, you work well together. However, emotionally, it may have appeared the two of you could not manage an intimate relationship and would cause discord and turmoil within yourselves. Such motives would have strengthened and, simultaneously, weakened you both enough to possibly debilitate my control. In a way, had you never reconciled, it would have done just that.

"However, I suspect that now that idea is no longer considered valid, what with you proving quite publicly the strength of your affections for each other. I believe, Levi… that having found that balance of emotional and dynamical teamwork, has been seen as a boon to my hand rather than a bane. And yet, the very strength of your emotions, Levi, would probably destroy you both."

This did not answer the question, he knew, but Levi chose to remain silent and pressed one of his hands against the armrest of his chair, waiting even though his mind was already connecting dots that the Aryan man had been so concernedly painting. Erwin took another moment, appearing to struggle with the next thought.

"And now, this promotion would make her rise the ranks in a way that was not done before," Erwin spoke, drawing in another tense sigh, "I had to know how much they knew and so I proposed the promotion—knowing full well they would deny it. Only… they didn't. Now, I'm afraid this has placed her in a more precarious situation."

The surge of violent and even murderous anger sent a force through Levi's fingers strong enough to splinter the wood of his chair, making the faux leather and wood to give a sharp whine of complaint, his teeth baring as he met Erwin's gaze with the full strength of his devotion, "There is no _fucking _chance on this earth that I would allow them to do _anything_ to her."

Erwin lifted his hands in a soothing gesture, "I understand that and I am not saying that that is what will occur if Mikasa leaves to the evaluation—,"

"She's not going, Erwin." Levi growled.

The blond man's eyes met his subordinates eyes easily, "You are upset."

A bark of incredulous laughter shoved its way from the raven haired man's mouth to slam the full front of his disgust on his leader, "The sky is blue. I am not placing my future _wife_ under any precarious situation or chance of harm, Erwin, no sooner than you would allow the same circumstances to endanger Hanji." The mention of the woman's name brought a dark shadow over the older man's expression, the room felt as if it had dropped ten degrees in heat.

"I cannot allow you to interfere, Levi." The words forced said man to his feet, rage curling through lips in sharp gusts of ice.

"The hell I won't," he hissed.

Erwin spared him no more chances to speak, straightening in his seat to fix Levi his firmest glares, "Your reaction would only confirm these suspicions, Levi. I suggest you calm yourself."

It took every single cell in his body to keep himself from finding the closest maneuver gear and slice up the closest thing Levi had to a titan. Not for the first time in his life, Levi felt himself wish there were still some Titans left—if only to leave them in mangled ribbons of steaming meat and blood. Five seconds of breathing harshly through his nose passed before he forcibly pressed himself back down over the chair, hands gripping the armrests, already whining with the pressure of his held back rage. After another long moment, Erwin reached down to lift a paper from his desk, blue eyes scouring over the smooth surface before flicking back up to meet Levi's stubborn glare.

"We cannot allow them to believe that this separation will be enough to damage you." Erwin spoke once more, grave. "While my suspicions for her capture and possible interrogation well founded are—,"

"Interrogation?" Levi nearly exploded, yet forced his teeth to clamp down after Erwin fixed him yet another firm stare.

"It is unlikely they would ever harm her if it is shown that this connection between the both of you is sound and controlled. Her stay there would be monitored and should take no longer than a week, and it is possible they will question her for information concerning my involvement with the failed coup. If all goes well, her return would be expected as they could do nothing to hold her against her will there. For the sake of her safety, Levi, you must do nothing and stay here when she leaves for the capital."

Despite the soundness of Erwin's argument, Levi could not hold back from finding more to dispute. The very topic was making his chest feel ready to explode in flames and ice, threatening to overwhelm him with the very indignation of being told to relinquish the woman he had just recently been granted. "Why can't I go with her? Would it not make sense to ensure this so called safety if I were there to command it?"

"I cannot risk you both under their hands and control," Erwin sighed, rubbing his fingers over a temple with in an attempt to soothe an incoming headache. "You are Humanity's Strongest, but even you could not tear down the government with blades alone, should danger present itself under the face of officiality. Do you understand, Levi?"

A twitch worked its way from his contemptuous chest to find a crevice over his upper lip, lifting it as he announced with complete disdain, "Crystal clear, Erwin." In a flurry of sharp movement, Levi was pushing himself from his damaged seat to march toward the door, not even bothering to spare the military courtesy of granting his superior a salute. Boots striking wood and stone, Levi searched the room for something to distract him, if just for enough time to keep him from kicking a hole in the door. When he neared it, his eyes fell over a single strand of silver on green. A twinge of confusion was easily replaced by mute disgust.

"Levi," Erwin called once more and Levi wished he could still have the freedom to ignore it. Stilling, the man turned to appraise the broad man once more, but said nothing. "Keep this from Mikasa."

"I will not lie to her," Levi replied evenly. Erwin's eyes fell close, exasperated.

"Then say nothing, just until we know the full intent of what they have in store for her." Something snapped within him, making his chest flare with frustration and added bitterness.

"Humor me, Erwin," he said, hand reaching for the door knob. The man's thick eyebrows creased in the center before Levi turned slightly more to face him, "Was it worth it?"

"Was what worth it?"

He didn't even hold back from spitting venom through his teeth, exposing a secret they had probably hoped to keep from him. "Lying to Hanji. Was it worth it?"

Erwin fell terribly silent, blue eyes darkening with terrible dismay and even anger. With a snort, Levi shook his head and unlocked the door open, not bothering to say any more before marching out and slamming the door behind him.

That was two days ago. Two days of keeping his lips tight and firmly closed even after Mikasa took him into her arms with a curious gaze and expectant tilt of her lips. "It's confidential," Levi could say at most and while she had frowned and nodded—he could only wish he could tell her. He wanted to tell her, but knew he had to stay quiet.

Mikasa would be better prepared if she knew to expect nothing out of the usual. If the High Courts thought she knew of just an inch concerning Erwin's involvement…they would not hesitate to peel the skin off her flesh until she was left giving nothing more than her life. That alone was enough to silence him enough with the fear of losing her.

Damn it all.

Damn it all to hell.

And now… the images of her body, being thrown high against chain-link and metal shackles, tortured and bloodied sunk their teeth into his mind, seeping deep within the fears of his subconscious and making the following nights ridden with nightmares. This had been the third night in a row that his mind had strangled him with the image of her torn body.

Only… it didn't seem to find enough sick satisfaction with just tormenting him with the image of Mikasa tied to a table and beaten… it seemed to find a niche of sadistic pleasure in brutalizing him with the memory of Petra's crushed body and reminding him of yet another way Mikasa could be taken from him.

_All you love will die. _The thought made his hands tremble against the skin of Mikasa's warm back. _If not by Titans… then by them. You cannot be allowed to be there for her. Just like Petra. Just like Petra. _

"Levi… what's wrong? Tell me."

_Weakling. Filthy. If she dies, it'll be your fault. _

"No," whether it was an answer to her or to the haunting whispers of his nightmares, Levi wasn't sure. "It's nothing… just nothing…" He breathed against the warmth of her neck, feeling the tears flowing from his eyes sting where his skin pressed against hers. "Let's just go to sleep."

Mikasa nodded, slowly and gently before letting out some more hushing sounds. "Alright. I'm here. I love you. I love you."

"I love you…" _I swear, I won't let anything happen to you. _He felt this darkness threatened to choke him further if he spoke more.

He cannot allow himself to say more, he couldn't. He just squeezed the woman he loves now while he attempted to erase the last image of the woman he had lost. Long moments passed and as she cradled him, Mikasa began to sing a song in a tongue he didn't know but found soothing. Before long, he was falling back asleep, heart pounding out the final beats to the melody she was humming lovingly against his ear.

_I swear it._

* * *

"Edelweiss."

Blue eyes blinked up, exposing azure curiosity swirling within the sky of warmth and gentle appraisal. Krista's pink lips curled upwards despite the light curve of her eyebrows as they tugged toward each other with some confusion. "Edelweiss?" she repeated.

"Edelweiss," her fiancé nodded, his own smile beaming down at her.

Her lips pursed as she looked down over the many flowers surrounding them, "Are you sure you don't like the marguerite?"

Armin tugged an arm to curl around his woman's waist, pressing a loving kiss to her hair. "If I have the smallest hint of a say, it must be edelweiss."

"You don't," Krista sighed, leaning her head back to allow him further access to drop his kisses to her cheeks and the curve of her jaw. "But I am curious why you would pick the edelweiss. They're not exactly grand enough to be sporting at a wedding, I think."

"Do you really want to know?" He hummed against her ear, enjoying the way her back shivered against his chest and how her hands fell to grip at the arm wrapped around her waist. Krista snuck a narrowed stare at him, trying in vain to hold back the grin from bursting through her lips. "They were the flowers that fell on your hair when I chased after you…"

She let out a small gasp before whirling around in his arms, her immense blue eyes staring up at him with new found wonderment and awe. Armin's smile melted into something softer, "They looked like stars in your hair. You looked like something off a painting…"

"That's not exactly romantic," she responded, wrinkling her nose. The Lance Corporal let out a small laugh, it didn't surprise him that she would say that. Most of the paintings they had seen had been of the kind that spread over the ceiling of the Military Court. All blood and victory and battles of war, nothing of love or its brilliance.

"I mean of the paintings depicting Sina, or Maria… powerful, beautiful…divine…" Krista's cheeks burned a bright red and her lips parted to expose pearly white teeth.

"I'm divine, am I?" She asked as she looked at him through her lashes. Armin nodded seriously, letting his other arm fall in place around her to pull her closer.

"You are my goddess," He stated simply but he could see the effect his words were leaving on her, noting how her hands rose to grasp at his lapels a little tighter, her body pressing closer against his. "And when you told me you loved me…it was nothing short of exaltation."

Krista let out a tiny snort, but was pushing up to her toes to claim his lips in a firm and loving kiss, giggling against his lips, "You're so damn full of it, Arlert."

"You love it," He chuckled before pressing his lips back over hers and enjoyed how her arms rose to wrap around his shoulders. He had to press her closer to his chest to let their lips meet properly, her feet rising from the ground the more he squeezed her to his mouth. She let out a soft groan, one of her hands reaching up to grip at his hair and tugging in a way that made him deepen their kiss despite their public appearance.

In the days that followed the set up for the wedding was going directly as planned. Armin and Krista worked closely with many of the staff in the castle, overlooking designs of flower arrangements (edelweiss it was) and what the cake would look like. They were even building a gazebo—something Krista had vehemently gone against because she didn't want to inconvenience people, but Erwin had insisted he took care of it as a sort of wedding present. The young woman had pouted with defeat, worrying this way and that because her wedding was becoming far too grand than they had originally planned.

"It's not so bad, is it?" Armin asked one night as she fussed over the color of ribbons to assign chairs. "The more people, the merrier."

"I just wanted our friends to be there…" She sighed, lifting a thin hand to rub at her temple. "Small, reverent. Not a huge thing filled with strangers. Just think of how many plates we'll have to clean up at the poltrabend!"

Armin had chuckled, scooting behind her to wrap his limbs around her tight frame, "I hear the amount of shards we pick up will be the amount of kids we'll end up having."

Krista had smiled warmly, turned and pressed a strong kiss against his lips before stoutly saying, "Armin, we've agreed. I'm only giving you four children. No more."

"Oh, come on."

"No _more._"

"Alright, alright."

All in all it was a spectacular affair to plan, Jean had helped overlook much of the decorations being draped over the gazebo—much to Sasha and Connie's laughing expense. ("I never pegged you as a wedding planner, Jean. You look so pretty!" Connie had laughed, which earned him a fierce punch to the gut. Sasha had only received a defiant pinch to her rear, which left her squealing and kicking her boyfriend when he had reached down for a kiss.) It was humorous, honestly, because throughout those days, Jean had been right at Krista's side in helping her pick colors and offer his opinions on flower arrangements when Mikasa and Sasha had been absolute rubbish at giving their honest thoughts.

"I know nothing of flowers," Mikasa had shrugged, smiling with some embarrassment while Sasha had pulled at some of the arrangements with idiot curiosity.

"Don't you wanna just use cakes or pastries?" Sasha had offered instead, eyes brightening and drool dripping down her lip at the thought of the delicacies. "I know I would want them more than silly flowers."

Instead, Jean had swept down and picked at some of the arrangements, mixing them up in ways that made Krista's mouth fall open in awe and leave Armin staring at him with a narrow gaze that made the tall man feel defensive.

"You _must_ continue to help!" Krista had exclaimed, grabbing at Jean's hands with an expression of complete adoration. "You're perfect, Jean!"

"Oi!" Armin exclaimed, indignant, while Jean had laughed instead and got straight to work with the petite blonde. Soon enough, much of the decorations were already decided upon and it left Krista feeling relaxed enough to spend some leisurely time with Armin as they let their love express in not so secret kisses in the middle of the garden.

"Ahem…" someone cleared their throat and the two lovers smiled into their kiss, covering their laughs as they pulled away to look at their newest witness. Unsurprisingly, it was Jean, eyeing them with a flat grin and shaking his head, holding a couple of ribbons in his arms as he watched them, "You guys realize you're in public, right?"

"Very much so," Armin said, voice taking on an almost professional tone despite the mischievous grin spread over his face. Krista giggled as he let her back down on her feet, blushing prettily and pulling her hands out of his hair. "What can I do for you, Senior Cadet Kirschstein?" _he was still sore over the 'perfect' comment, it seems._

"What's with this 'senior cadet' thing, Armin?" Jean huffed, placing his hands on his hips as he gave the blond man an indignant stare, yet his own grin did not fall and the trio exchanged warm chortles. "I'll have you know I'll be receiving a promotion as well."

"Ah, but who knows when that'll be," the superior officer shrugged, turning to face their friend with a smug little grin. "Right now, I'm still your superior. Oi, Jean, go fetch me that pot of flowers!"

"You can go fucking fetch it yourself, I answer to the bride here." The brunet snorted. Before Armin could return the quip with an easy response, Krista rose bright blue eyes over to the taller man, smiling cutely.

"How are you doing, Jean?" She asked, cooing when she reached over to see the ribbons he was offering her. "Oh, these are lovely!"

Jean gave Armin yet another flat smirk, "See, that's what I call proper manners. You should let her teach you a couple things, Armin."

"Oh, I intend to." The blond said with a sly sideways wink to the girl, who reacted by lifting an arm to slap at his chest.

"Ignore him," Krista rolled her eyes, "He's just like this because I gave his ego a good stroking."

Armin cut in, grinning wolfishly, "I can't wait until I get a different kind of stroking." His fiancé's eyes widened, her blush darkening as she smacked her betrothed a little harder. Jean let out a fierce howl of laughter at the young woman's expression.

"Armin!" She chided, lifting a hand to bat away at his face, which had been leaning down to press frantic kisses against her face. "You are being really raunchy right now! Time out!"

"Aw, come on, I was only joking!" He pouted, but sighed when Krista pointed firmly toward the opposite end of the flower gardens, Jean was still laughing as he watched. Sneaking a quick peck to her lips, Armin ducked his way out of more flapping hands, laughing to himself as he walked passed Jean and the duo exchanged a brief clap of hands, Krista gave him a short huff.

The taller brunet watched the blond man walk off, still chuckling to himself as he turned to face Krista, "You've really got him trained, don't you?"

"I run a strict system of treats and punishment," She replied, grinning despite the embarrassed blush on her face. To her satisfaction, Jean let out another sharp bark of laughter, his hand rose to pat her on the head with an affectionate ruffle. "I like these colors, will they work well with the edelweiss?"

Jean's lips tightened into a pensive line, "If we throw in a bit of lace and violets, I suppose. What do you think?"

Krista nearly bounced on her toes, clapping with delight, "I think that will do splendidly! You are fantastically great at this." The tall soldier grinned again, puffing his chest out haughtily. Krista chuckled, returning the ribbons back to his arms, asking, "How have you and Sasha been, Jean?"

At the mention of the redhead, Jean's smile curled into a slightly more sheepish line, "We're…alright, I think."

"How long has it been now, three weeks?" blue eyes fell back over the arrangements of flowers around them, her hands rising to brush over the long stalks of edelweiss sitting by another pretty arrangement Jean had pointed out. He let out a long sigh, eyes rising over to the glass ceiling, pondering.

Had it been three weeks? It must have been. It was almost hilarious, really. How he had found himself really aching for her skin when he had only just tasted it not even a month prior. Her words and her ardor for new tastes and sights was refreshing for him, Jean had discovered. Which was ironic because in their earlier years, much of what she had said and done usually dug under his skin and left him rolling his eyes at her idiotic tendencies. Only now they were no longer as idiotic as he had seen them. She was still an idiot, but then again, so was he.

A flash of images coursed through his mind, his body shuddering pleasantly at the most recent series of connections he had particularly enjoyed with Sasha. Waking up to her naked body in his arms had been something he hadn't entirely expected, since she usually left his room late at night while he slept and leaving him to wake alone. He had been surprised, but not at all disturbed by how their relationship was moving on, and it was in his arms that she had snuggled against him, blinked bleary sleep clogged eyes up at him before grunting, "Close the stupid curtains, would you?"

It hadn't been much of a warm greeting to start the day, but it had been enough for his chest to feel warm, his belly to quiver with an emotion he wasn't quite sure what to name. Sure enough, he had reached over, tugged the curtains close and snuggled back on the bed where her arms were waiting to envelop him. Not ten minutes later she was sitting up over him, his fingers gliding over her bare side before she was leaning down to press soft kisses against his mouth, her hips wiggling over his and making him hiss out the sensations of delight and intoxication.

"How's your face?" She had asked, more to tease him since his bruise had already healed. In retaliation to her snarky grin he had flipped them over and gave a nice strong thrust that had her screaming.

"Better than you will be when I'm through with you," He had growled against her and Sasha was throwing her head back, laughter sprinkling her moans and sighs. While they had moved in hard, practically primal movements, their kisses were softer, laced with passion and filling him with a sensation that made him feel whole whenever she blinked those butterscotch eyes at him, drunk with the ecstasy he was providing her.

When they finished she would press a kiss to the area near his ear before softly sighing, "I love you…"

She had been doing that since the third night they had slept together and each night since. He would only press his lips to her neck in response, and while at first he had felt his chest clench with uncertainty in the past…this morning he could only feel himself grow happier when she had confessed her love to his ear again.

_I…I think I love you too…_

Only three and a half weeks and Jean found himself truly worshiping the woman in his arms, and when the thought had crossed his mind and teased the back of his tongue—demanding to be spoken—he had found that Sasha Braus had definitely wormed her way into his heart. He just wasn't sure how to admit it, unfortunately.

"Yeah, I would say." He said, clearing his throat again upon realizing Krista was still staring up at him. "Probably a bit more, we kind of got together about a week before the whole Levi and Mikasa shenanigans happened." Krista beamed again, pleased. "It's pretty crazy, actually. Time just flew by…"

The short blonde woman let out a soft sigh, turning to face him and lean on the table of arrangements, her hands playing with the hem of her uniform, "You're telling me. It's kind of hard to believe I'm getting married next week…"

Jean's amber eyes crinkled softly, tugging his hands into his pockets. "You really love him, don't you?"

She blinked in surprise, one of her hands rising to brush the usual blonde strand that fell over her face to rest behind an ear, her blush making her glow. "I really do."

Jean gave her a soft nod before letting out another sigh before a crash alerted their attention to the side. They both turned to where Armin's frame stood, his hands working frantically to pick up a fallen pot of large Calla Lilies, strewn and broken over the ground as he tried to hoist the plants back up, exclaiming, "I'm okay! It's fine, I got this! Don't come help me!"

Krista giggled into a curled hand, "Can you go help him? He's kind of useless."

Jean smirked wide again before pressing another warm ruffle over her head, "You got it, future Mrs. Arlert." Krista smiled a little wider at his words, looking more beautiful than Jean could ever remember she was. _Well done, Armin. You scored big time, buddy._

Another crash sounded and Armin's voice filtered through the room with a sharp cry, yet another pot had fallen, only this time it had fallen on top of him, placing him on his back and left him wriggling like a crushed mouse. "_Ack!_ Never mind what I said, please come help me!"

Krista squeaked, sprinting off in the direction of her fallen fiancé, "Armin!"

"The hell did you freaking do, Arlert?!" Jean sighed, rolling his eyes. _How you scored, I've no clue, you stupid blond._

* * *

_Since my days as a young kid, Armin had always been a weepy kid who often got his ass handed to him. _

No…that won't do.

_Since I was a kid, Armin was always the sort of kid that could handle himself real well in a fight._

Okay, that's obviously a lie.

Eren scowled, dark brows yanking toward the bridge of his nose as he grabbed the newest draft of his speech as Best Man and crumbled it into a ball. Tossing the reject over his shoulder where the others lay discarded, the young man let out a sigh that burst like a raspberry through unamused lips.

"What was he thinking…?" Eren grumbled, tapping his pencil against the firm wood of his desk, leg bouncing against the ground in aggravated rhythms as he wracked and wracked his brain for the right words. A small bead of sweat fell from his hairline to fall into his left eye, making him grunt, irate. Pushing himself off the desk, Eren let out a disgusted snort before heading over to the window of the infirmary. With a firm grip, he tugged at the window's stubbornly closed frame, grumbling incoherent phrases to himself. The door of the infirmary squealed open, surprising him enough to jolt and make his hands give an extra yank hard enough to nudge the stuck window panes just right.

"Eren? Ah—Eren, I wouldn't—!" He heard too late. The window pane screeched open before slamming against the wall, nearly tearing off the titan shifter's nose in the process and letting rip a strong and chilled breeze into the room. The sound of papers fluttering in a mad spin of wind and white sent an alarmed exclamation to burst from his mouth.

Whirling around, he could see Mikasa was already catching a few of them, hair whipping around her face and red scarf slapping over her eyes at the abrupt gale. "Ah, shit!" Eren eloquently cursed, throwing himself back over to his desk and scrambling to pick up papers and even catching his pencil as it rolled off the wood.

"Here, let me…" Mikasa sighed.

"I got it!" Eren huffed, their hands bouncing against each other the more they attempted to pick up the mess. The breeze finally seemed to stop its barrage against the window, allowing the two to continue where they had left off.

"Idiot," He snapped, more to himself as he yanked the drawer of his desk open before shoving the papers inside and away from the wind's greedy fingers. "I can never think things through, can I?"

The raven haired woman let out a soft chuckle, lifting up the clean stack of papers she had gathered and placing it within the desk's open maw. With another huff, Eren looked to see the crumbled balls of rejected speeches spread over the infirmary's stone floor, nose wrinkling with distaste at their innocent appearance and deciding to toss himself on his assigned bed.

"Thanks, I guess…" He muttered, pressing an arm to cover his eyes.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Mikasa hummed, walking to sit at his side. "Armin told me you're going to be his best man at the wedding." Eren fixed her a flat stare over his draped arm, slightly bristling by the light way she had approached the topic. As if it was, honestly, no big deal. _It's a very big deal._

"Yeah, well he should reconsider and ask Jean to do it," the brunet grumbled, realizing he was still holding on to the thin pencil. Twirling the little stick, Eren let out another thin sigh, sounding properly defeated. "I can't come up with a stupid speech and that horseface is sprouting golden wedding arrangements out of his ass like he's a fucking rainbow or something."

"It is pretty impressive," She added, making Eren's frown morph into a scowl before he tore his mind away from the thought of Jean spinning circles around his head, grinning that haughty smirk of his as he made Krista squeal with delight, bringing pretty thing after pretty thing to her.

The mattress dipped and the scent of soap, light cologne and lavender played at his nose. He sent a sideways glance, pursing his lips when he saw Mikasa laying next to him, facing the ceiling with a small smile. For a second, he wanted to comment on recognizing the cologne—knowing full well who its true owner was—but he didn't quite want to jump into that pool quite yet. Another thought swirled in his mind, making him note curiously how, despite the knowledge the scent was not usual on her person, it did not seem to take away from her essence. In fact, it seemed to compliment it without seeming overbearing.

Sure, it was still pretty weird to see Mikasa so close to Captain Levi… a part of him was still reeling because he once remembered seeing her face look so dark and hateful at the very mention of the short officer, and so seeing her look so at peace and sporting the man's light scent against her skin was enough to make his experience oddly turn on itself. However… there was an obvious stirring that made Eren want to smile. He had only ever seen the Captain smile once, before the new squad had formed, and that was in the presence of Petra and Auruo, Gunther and Erd. At the time it had appeared so strange, to see such a brutal man's lips turned in the ghost of something closely resembling contentment.

Now, when Eren saw them in each other's company, the ghost had taken proper form into a pleased and light grin, his eyes brightening whenever Mikasa walked through the threshold of a door or spoke his name in public. Weird? Absolutely. But it was also a nice change that made Eren feel like things were truly progressing.

It might take him a while, but he was certain he would get used to seeing his the girl he had grown to call his sister look so happy and smell so different now that she was with the man he had also grown to accept as a role model, a friend, and a brother in arms.

Slowly, Eren lifted his arms to press behind his head in a makeshift support, ignoring the obvious presence of the pillow to his left. Mikasa's hands rose to rest at her belly, fingers tapping relaxed rhythms against her clothed skin, "You'll do a great job, Eren." She said after a silent moment of enjoying each other's presence.

Another snort pressed against his throat and he fought the urge to roll his eyes loudly, "Give me a break, I'm no good at this." Another breeze pushed through the open window, making the frame squeak as it swung lazily, back and forth. It was cool, just slightly warmer than the last barrage had been, and it played at their clothes and tugged at their hair. With a thin sigh, Eren frowned, "I should just tell Armin I can't do it."

"Don't," Mikasa replied and he heard the fabric of his sheets rustle as she turned her head to look at him. "You say you're no good at speeches, but I remember you saying some pretty moving things back when we were trainees, and even after you had managed to inspire a lot of people."

Green eyes turned to face the sincere press of onyx, she smiled softly, "You may not have noticed, Eren, but there had been many who hadn't wanted to join the corp. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone there wanted to stick to the Garrison. You changed their minds, Eren. You spoke honestly and passionately, and you were able to inspire many to experience sights outside the walls when all they've known is the safety within them."

Something in his chest dipped, making him feel strangely sheepish as he looked away, "That was different. I was angry. I can't exactly scream at everyone and tell them how much Armin and Krista being together is going to change everything…"

Mikasa laughed softly, "No, you can't, and by all means you shouldn't."

He grinned, wiggling to nudge her head with his elbow as she chuckled, probably picturing him yelling at everyone during the reception before bursting off into a run and escaping the room. "Shut up, I was fifteen."

"What I'm saying is," Mikasa said after her silent giggles subsided, "Don't be afraid of letting the right words come up. You'll know them when it's time."

Tan lips pursed, musing as he let his gaze fall back over the stone ceiling, green gaze following the curls and turns of the swirls of minerals within the rocks above. "So you're saying I should wing it?"

Mikasa shrugged before sitting back up, another breeze making her scarf fall back over her face and she smiled when Eren let out a huff of laughter. "No," She denied before tugging the pencil from behind his head where his hand still held it. "I'm saying you shouldn't force the speech. By all means, write it down and make sure it's good. Levi would say, 'make everyone cry like the bitches they are' and I would agree."

Eren smirked at the mention of the Captain, quietly agreeing to the potential comment and accepting it while Mikasa placed the pencil behind his ear. Yet at the mention of her lover, Mikasa's smile seemed to strain, as if weighed by something unknown. Eren nearly frowned. Before he could register the slight change in her expression she was reaching over a gentle hand for his forehead, fingertips brushing gently at his sweat stained skin.

For a moment he just watched her, letting the urge to bat her hand away fall apart as he let her brush the long strands of his hair out of his eyes. It was an action the reminded him a lot of the gentle fussing of his mother, how she would worry and rake gentle fingers through his scalp to make him look less scruffy. Back then, Eren had thrown a small arm up, pushing his doting mother's hands away in a fit of frustration. Regret and longing stained at the back of his throat and he wondered how if this is how it would feel had Karla survived and let her son sigh against her fingers.

_I took you for granted, mom_… he thought, feeling the longing cake at his throat, bitter and making him wish she were alive now if only to help him with this small, stupid thing. Would she listen as he cried? Soothe gentle words into his ear as he exclaimed his anger at being told he wasn't allowed to marry, that people still saw him as a beast that could bite them? Would she still look at him with the caring acceptance of a mother despite the beast that raged within him? Would she listen as he bore his heart out and wept for the only woman who had seen straight through him and made him experience the pangs of such horrid love?

Another thought pierced through him. In an ideal world, if Annie and Bertholdt, Reiner and Ymir survived and her mother was still around to know them… would she had accepted them as she had accepted Mikasa? Would she had smiled and teased her son while he stared in longing at the blonde woman with the aquiline nose? Would she had fussed over what suit he should wear, had this world permitted him to ask Annie for her hand?

"Mikasa," Eren spoke, feeling the words and his worries begin to turn and turn into the urge to express everything over his tongue. He pushed himself to his elbows, readying himself to speak and to finally tell her of his feelings concerning everything; of Annie, of the stares of all the soldiers since then.

"What is it?" She asked when he trailed off and something in him hesitated. Stopped before it could begin. Instead, the sensation fell like a tide, dropping back into his chest to be hidden within the box that was his broken heart. Smiling, he changed his mind, dropping his chin to let his eyes fall elsewhere, "You've changed a lot," he said.

"How so?"

"You seem…softer…" green eyes opened to meet the expression of light confusion on her face. "Before you were like a weapon. I always felt my anger in my blood, hot and boiling. But you, I always figured you let yourself feel your anger through your swords. Now, you seem less like a piece of metal and more like…I dunno, a cloud or something."

The surprise in her gaze slowly gave into another smile, exposing teeth and making her look particularly charming. Shaking her head, Mikasa uttered, "And you say you can't give a proper speech. Although, is a cloud really the best you can come up with?" He almost gave in to the urge to heft a leg up against her hip and kick her off just to see how she would react.

"Shut up, go away." He huffed and she was reaching over to push at his leg, before she was standing and walking away.

"Let me know if you need any help editing," She called over her shoulder, "I'm afraid you'll need it."

Eren wished she wasn't so fast at times, because he really hoped that the pillow he threw at her would've landed on her face rather than fall flat on the floor, her body spinning away with nonchalant grace and a single tongue sticking out of her mouth in teasing spite.

"Bring me some food!" He shouted.

"You can get it yourself," she replied and the door was sliding shut behind her as she walked off. Eren's face contorted in a series of mocking expressions, mumbling '_get it yourself_' in falsetto and nasally tones before he twisted back to rest on his stomach. Another breeze picked up, forcing the pencil against his ear to fly off, forcing Eren to scramble off his bed to go get it before it rolled away.

"Oh, you stupid piece of wooden shit," He snarled after it.

Before he could snatch it back up, the door slid open once more, exposing Mikasa's head and bright smile, "Oh, also," She piped up, catching Eren's attention. "Connie and Jean are curious as to what your plans are for Armin's bachelor night, but Jean had said you probably forgot. I told him you didn't so you better have something good because they're waiting for you downstairs."

Eren froze, the pencil rolling away under a cot as she closed the door after her, leaving him squatting on the ground and staring at the door with wide green eyes. The Bachelor night… he had completely forgotten about the bachelor night…

"_Oh shit._"

* * *

For a moment, everything was blurred. Colors smudged together over definite lines and curves of objects, playing with the edges of silver eyed periphery and distorting the view at large. Slender fingers rose to rub at the corners, a soft exclamation of irritation falling from a pair of small lips.

"Shit," she said gruffly, reaching down to search for the glasses that had fallen from her nose. Rico chewed her lip, her other hand tightening over the leather straps that would secure her vision intact, while she leaned forward to find it. With how the cart moved, she worried it would take drastic measures to find her fallen glasses.

A voice from outside the moving carriage piped in, "Everything alright, sir?"

"I'm fine, Lieutenant, fine." She replied, curt and annoyed, fingers grazing over the rough carpet and stumbling over uneven planks of the worn wood. Reaching a little further, she let out a thin growl when her transportation gave a quick jerk, the clopping of the horse's hoofs picking up pace and finding a quartered rhythm. To her relief, the sudden movement that nearly toppled her to her face had been enough to bring back the familiar frame of her spectacles within her grasp. Before they slid away, she snatched them up and straightened in her seat.

Blurred colors and line sharpened into defined shapes and figures the moment she slid the glasses back over her ears. "Are we close?" She asked through the open window, hands reaching up to tie the leather around the legs of her glasses and securing the thong comfortably against her scalp.

"We're just arriving, sir." The lieutenant replied, nodding from his saddle on his horse.

Rico felt her stomach give an uncomfortable dip, dousing her senses with the acrid trembling of anxiety and self-consciousness. It was not the first she had felt such a numbing sensation spread over her limbs, rendering her close to a shaky mess. It had been a shock and a pain the first time she had received her matched result. Her commanding officer—Kitts Verman—had called her in specifically to his office that day, three weeks ago and when she had arrived, she had been surprised to had seen the familiar towering presence of Commander Pixis.

For a moment, Rico had feared the absolute worst and thought she had been matched with the old war veteran, but judging by his warm smile and chuckling voice that suspicion was quickly put to death. _"I'm far too old to contribute to this mandate, Squad Leader Brzenska," Pixis had chuckled, laughter rolling in his throat. "Your match is not I, so rest easy." _

_The silver haired woman turned back to look at Commander Verman, uncertain and even apprehensive. "Has something gone wrong, sirs?"_

"_No, to the contrary," the bald leader stood, moving to gaze out the window of the office, arms crossed behind his back. "Something has gone most certainly well." Turning back, he had fixed her a most curious smile, "You will definitely think so later on." _

_I'm not sure this qualifies…_ Rico thought as she turned a sharp gaze over to the horizon. They carriage had gone over a wide curve in the road and the large Castle of the Survey Corp appeared within sight, sending another burst of adrenaline and anxiety through her stomach, turning her organs into writhing worms.

"_You have been matched to Commander Erwin Smith," the way he had said it seemed as if it were no more than a simple appointment. A meeting between two soldiers that would exchange information before going their separate ways. Rico knew full well that this was probably the best way anyone could address the issue. This was not a time to get emotional. Emotions had no space in chess, much less in war. _

_Judging by how they spoke to her, Rico could guess full well this war was not over. _

"_Don't be afraid," The old man said, gently and it only occurred to her that she had been gripping tightly to the file that held the information of her match and the picture that followed. Her grip slackening, she cleared her throat softly, feigning composure despite the rattling against her ribcage. "The Commander is a good man, decent and dedicated. Ruthless, you may have seen him, but that has been in darker times. Believe me when I say that I know him well enough to offer these words as more than just hapless comforts." _

"_I am not one to concern myself with matters of the heart, Commander." Rico replied as evenly as she could. "This is for the greater good, and if he has been chosen to be the man that will sire my children, then I will accept no higher honor." _

"_Excellent words," Verman spoke, his gruff voice scratching in agreeable tones that left her wanting to grip at something, just to keep from shattering. She had always disliked this sullen eyed man… "Had I not told you she is an excellent choice match for Commander Smith? She is truly a leader of the elite." _

_Pixis' eyes did not blink with any hint of impressive scrutiny, merely watched her as the other man dropped embellished praise after praise. In response, Rico remained silent until the older man rose a hand to end his colleague's rant. Thank God. _

"_Squad Leader Brzenska," Pixis rumbled. She straightened in her chair. "Walk with me a moment." The request was sudden and unusual, earning him strange glances from both officers. Sure enough, his boots picked up a pace through the room that had her pushing off her seat to give chase and follow, offering her commander a brief salute before exiting with the other man. _

_As they made their way through the open halls, Rico waited silently, glancing at the man ahead with the makings of a frown. She had worked and taken orders from him before being transferred under the command of Kitts Verman—it had been a most undesirous position, having to take orders from that coward of a man, but she knew her place… as did everyone who had lived and died through the war. To say she respected Pixis was an understatement, she would trust her life without regret to this man as many of the calls he had made in the past had achieved grander results than the foolish reckonings of other soldiers. _

"_This is a precarious situation we are in, Rico," Pixis spoke, steps wide and broad, echoing off the stone and bouncing off the walls around them. It was almost eerie, how each step and sound seemed to reflect the erratic train that was her mind and heart. She frowned._

"_Sir?"_

"_But not entirely a bad one," He continued, as if not hearing her confusion. "This is actually a good development, all things considered I believe we will be able to benefit more with this match than any other." _

"_I'm not sure I follow, sir." _

_Pixis slowed to a stop, his gaze falling over the bright canvas of the late evening sky, pinks and oranges contrasted by the gray and whites of the clouds above before sinking into the deep blues of the incoming evening. It was a handsome sight to be sure, but Rico couldn't bring herself to enjoy it. Everything felt so numb. _

"_I need you to write a letter to the Commander, Rico. A very specific letter." _

Silver eyes blinked in the direction of a simple envelope hidden within the pocket of her cloak and jacket, scowling and wondering at the contents within. Her first letter had been a simple enough thing to construct. It sounded much like how she would approach the subject of meeting a future husband. It would have been an easy enough script of prose as it was… if it had not been for the fact that the Commander had been with her as she wrote it, expressing quite privately exactly how to phrase certain sentences and the like. Rico was no idiot, she knew what he was attempting to do, and knowing full well that what she was writing would only be understood by one pair of eyes and would seem to all others as a letter between strangers.

Soon after she had mailed off her letter, Rico was being prepared to be sent off. What little belongings she had, she had packed away and while it was uncertain she would be officially moving from the Garrison to the Survey Corp, she still packed her uniform that proudly bore the patches of the thorned Roses. She would still wear the choice she had made, and if Erwin was kind, he would allow her to keep her alliances to the men and women who no longer protected walls but protected people.

"_Keep this safe." Pixis had whispered to her ear, sliding the folder between her jacket and shirt as he had pulled her in into an abrupt embrace. No one had questioned the exchange as everyone knew the Commander had eccentric tendencies and ways of approaching many of his subordinates—Rico realized then that this was not a products of age, but of brilliant tact. For who would suspect a crazy but brilliant old man of plot? "Do not open it until you are in his presence and his alone. Trust no one but him and the people he points out to you. I leave this in your hands." _

She was a messenger. She knew this much. She could see now exactly how this match was advantageous. She would work as Erwin's future wife to the Monarchy's eyes, but remain faithful only to the duties they pressed upon her. It was something secret, something she would be aware of in fragments, but it gave her a sense of empowerment that would otherwise be lost within the tumult of orders and responsibilities.

What exactly is happening, Rico was unsure of, but if it meant a chance to fight back against this new found predator, she would not hesitate to assist in its ultimate fall.

For now… she needed to get out of this goddamn carriage.

"Lieutenant," she called and the man on the horse next to her side of the cart gave her an acknowledging nod. "Switch with me. You look like you could use a rest from riding."

The officer gawked in surprise, "Eh…? Uh, oh, sir, I don't think that's acceptable."

"Why not?" Rico huffed, she needed to get out of this confining space. There was something about being within the carriage that made her feel like she was being dragged to her fate rather than letting her feel as if she were doing so willingly. "Let me get on a horse."

"Uh…"

Rico leaned closer, feeling her nerves begin to fray when the cart gave an unexpected wobble. This mandate had taken more of her than all her years living as a soldier. She had seen friends die, had heard their screams echo within the walls of her mind. Now she had to submit to a rule that continued to impede a freedom that had been fought for and well overdue. If she had to do so for the sake of humanity, she would accept it. Damn the person who got in the way of what control she had left. One way or another, she was getting off that cart and riding to her destination on her terms. It was the most she could get and the least she deserved.

"That's an order, Lieutenant. _Get me a horse._"

* * *

A thin strand of silver, cradling within makeshift wings a small green gem—an emerald—and the last he had of what women he loved. Within its smallest links, it held the gentle mercies of words and promises he had made, exchanged, kept, and broke. Within the stone, reflecting in broken fragments of light, were the many memories he had poured within its smooth surface, the names and faces that had changed him. Made him into the man he was now. Would he be better or worse, if not for them...?

Maria…

Elise…

Hanji.

Love is cruel, is it not?

"_You know," bright blue eyes peered up at him. He had been so young, so foolish. "I care…but if you don't move, I can't follow you."_

_A hazel stare met his with surprise, smiling gently as a slim hand fidgeted with the trinket that would become a memoir, "I want you to have this. To remember me and all the love you will ever feel after." _

_Brown eyes stared into his own intensely, seeking past the derelict state of his mind and reaching through to the man with the iron will, "Don't you give up, Commander. You have that title now. You. Not anyone else. Make it count." _

Air fell through lips in a cold gust, mirroring the tugs and pulls of the wind outside his windows. The panes and glass shook, rattling and creaking as the sky rolled deep with dark grays and shades of cyan. It was nearly mid afternoon and he was alone. The nights had passed and where summer had once scalded him, now its vacancy reminded him too much of the empty space in his bed.

"_I have one question, Erwin."_ Hanji had said, voice blank of all emotion, save the dangerous gleam curving within eyes that had gazed at him once with so much love and affection. "One question and I expect an honest fucking answer. I hope you can manage it."

There was ice and frost spreading where the heat of love had burned within them. It spread far into his throat and tightening its cold fingers through the atriums of his heart, making each pulse of his organ feel like it was beating to stay from being frozen. It was a losing battle, he knew. He was already dying, the final blow to his chest had been made when his eyes landed upon the curves of roses over the letter in her stiffened hand.

He said nothing, only feeling his chin pull his head down and up in a small yet clear nod of agreement. Their summer was over. Their smiles and exchanged laughter would now be like the trinket hanging from her neck. Just a place where memories would find solace within the green rock resting within the silver embrace.

"Why did you lie?" her voice was so cold, empty, vacant of emotion and yet when he lifted his gaze to meet hers, he could see the crushed hopes and even betrayal pierce through her deep irises of brown to stab at the organ struggling to work within his chest.

Erwin could only let his gaze fall, shamed and caught. _"Was it worth it?" Levi's words would only serve as more knives to crush him to his sin. _

He had only wanted to hold on to her just a bit longer. He just wanted to hold her a little bit more, enjoy what last traces of her skin he could have before all was said and done. Was he not human as well?

"Erwin," his name sounded so vile against her tongue, because he knew how much it pained her to say it. Her eyes tightened, lips gave the smallest of trembles before she took several steps forward and dumped the envelopes on his desk. With static movement, he reached for the envelope addressed to him from the Garrison, pulling out the document and like the same betrayal he had cast, his eyes fell to the name at the end of the page. "_Why did you lie_?"

His body moved, all manner of livelihood was gone, taken with violent judgement by the tone in her voice, the pain in her eyes. Wood scraped against metal, sighing and hushing as he opened a drawer and removed the file holding his name on its corner. The wretched seal of red against white was like a peal of cruel laughter to his eyes, pointing at him with a leering grin through the maw of the lion within its creases.

Slowly opening it, he pulled out the photo of the woman with silver hair and eyes that matched the hue and exposed unknown character. "It arrived on time."

Hanji's fist slammed over his desk, the strike sounding loud even to his ears and he wondered how much more force had she wanted to exert to truly cause damage. "That's not what I fucking asked you…" She hissed. Something wet struck the smooth surface near the file, Erwin could feel himself begin to fall apart, hating himself for not being able to bear the sight of her crying face.

"Answer ME!" She finally shouted, voice breaking in the back of her throat and coming out half a sob. Blue eyes closed tight, fingers clenched shut as he heard her pant out broken breaths. "Why…?" she was shattering, he could feel it and he wanted to pull her close but knew he had no right to do so.

She was no longer his. Their relationship had already been doomed, and because of his selfishness, he had committed the final act of murder upon their love.

"…I'm sorry." He whispered and she was pushing herself away from his desk, clamping a hand over her mouth to silence a pained cry. It didn't matter how hard she bit down on her cheeks or lips, he would hear her anyway. She took a step back, and his body was leaning forward, blue eyes lifting to meet her down turned face. "Please, Hanji… forgive me."

He did not deserve her forgiveness, her acceptance to an apology that should have never been made for something that should have never been done. She knew this. He knew this. Her fist rose, planting itself against her chest in a final salute. Her stance was perfect, shoulders back, chest firm and legs planted straight to the ground, but her face refused to meet his and with a final nod, Hanji turned and walked away.

Fifteen steps. Fifteen steps took her from his desk to the door. Fifteen steps that took her from the happiness and laughter only she could inspire to the exit out of his life. Erwin could not hold back as he pushed from his chair to stand, doing nothing but reaching for her even as she walked.

"Hanji…!" Her name had been a supplication. The last pleading for his life, for his happiness.

She stopped and for a moment he hoped she would turn around, sob and run into his arms, to grant him absolution.

Instead, her hands slowly rose and it was as if time had slowed to narrow all his focus and attention into the movement of her hands, reaching past her chest—

_No._

–Toward her neck—

_Stop. Don't do this. _

—To tug at the clasp against her nape, and even from fifteen steps away, Erwin could hear the sound of silver unclasping like it was a thunder clap in his ears. Her shoulders hunched, shaking with the silence of her decision before she reached over and placed the necklace over the surface of the table nearest the door.

"This should go to your wife," She said and she was gone.

"_Was it worth it?" _

Even now he could not answer, not to Levi, not even to the shadows, or to himself. God forbid, he had been unable, struck blind, dumb, deaf and mute at how _bloody incapable_ he was of doing so to the only woman that mattered to him even now. Especially now.

A firm knock struck his door, startling him from his reverie and the agony that had been recounting the past few days alone, of the last he saw of Hanji. "Commander Erwin, sir!" Keiji's voice filtered in. Fingers squeezed tightly over the long strand of silver, before reaching and placing it deep within the pocket closest to his heart.

"Yes, Keiji," He said, clearing his throat and donning the only mask he knew was comfortable now. "Come in."

The door swung open, revealing the familiar figure of one of his lieutenants. The man walked in followed by another set of footsteps behind him. Keiji gave his commanding officer a firm salute before gesturing to the figure that followed. Silver hair and glasses that framed the flat stare of the woman the government deemed to be his future wife—she was shorter than he remembered…or maybe he just didn't remember.

"Commander Smith," her voice reached him, simple yet strong and she was raising a fist to her chest in a strong salute. The action alone nearly made him break down, teasing at his stronghold and daring him to lose it. Erwin was steel. "Rico Brzenska of the Elite Squads of the Garrison. I am honored."

With a nod, he encouraged her in, and numbly felt his body rise to move around the desk. She looked uncertain and even slightly intimidated by his stare yet she did not hesitate in walking closer to him. Fifteen steps. He counted.

Oh, how he hated himself.

"Rico," Erwin said and had no idea he would be able to move his face, let alone smiled. This mask seemed to come with the option of autopilot. _Keep it together. Breathe. _"It is a pleasure to meet you."

He extended a hand.

"_Hey, Erwin," Hanji hummed next to him, her fingers trailing roads through his hair as he let his eyes pour over a book. He should have been letting his eyes pour over hers. "Do you remember Chikachironi?" _

_He let out a soft 'hn' of acknowledgement. "Was he the Titan with the smile you thought was cute?" she would be the first to ever think their smiles were anything less than adorable. No doubt those same smiles haunted the dreams of the toughest soldiers. Not Hanji. Never Hanji._

"_That's the one!" Hanji grinned, letting her fingers fall to his jaw and turning his chin to better see his face, brown eyes beaming up at him with life and love. "Do you think if I ever had a kid, his smile would be that cute?" _

"_Heaven forbid," Erwin had exclaimed, laughing when she had rolled her eyes before leaning to press a kiss against his lips. "If you ever have a kid, I hope he ends up looking more like you than a Titan." _

"_Or she," She corrected and Erwin could feel her return the smile that curled the corners of his lips. _

"_Or she." He amended. _

A soft hand landed in his grip, small and calloused but smoother than the grip he had gotten used to. Silver eyes turned from their joined hands to meet his blue gaze. She shifted her hand just a bit, as if getting used to the sensation. He didn't know whether to smile or cave when her hold seemed to mold against his in an angle he felt was almost natural—he chose to feel nothing.

"I look forward to getting to know you," how did the words fall so easily? He didn't bother figuring it out. It didn't matter.

Only… silver eyes softened, as if confirming a suspicion or putting to rest a hidden fear. "Likewise."

The weight of his smile was nothing to the weight resting against his chest, hidden within his pocket and resting within a silver chain and one lone emerald that was now a memoir.

It was so cold.

* * *

_TBC_

_(Please be sure to discard all tear soiled tissues at the trashbins near you and leave your feels in a message for me! Until next Monday!)_


	6. V: Poltrabend

_A/N: I know, I know. I apologize for the long wait. I do not usually post so late and behind schedule, but this past week has been pretty ridiculous. However, I can promise that next week we'll return to the good ol' Monday postings. Plus, this chapter is pretty long too—16k! So you better be happy. _

_Also, there is a light trigger warning ahead during the scene with Hanji—nothing too bad, I hope but could be dark enough to get some people going. So, approach with caution. _

_**Sidenote: I am planning on re-writing a scene or two in this chapter. I will post more info up on my tumblr page later on. We'll see.**_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan/SnK. There. _

**This chapter's inspired tracks are: All I Needed by Keith Kenniff, ****La valse d'Amélie**** by Yann Tiersen, We Move Lightly by Duston O'halloran, Meryton Townhall and The Living Sculptures of Pemberly by Dario Marianelli from the Pride and Prejudice Soundtrack.**

* * *

**Nimbus**

**-: V :-**

**Poltrabend**

_"There was nothing wrong with being a homebody. There was nothing wrong with not wanting - not needing - the constant jostle and noise of a party or bar or... whatever."  
― Charles de Lint, Jack of Kinrowan: Jack the Giant-Killer and Drink Down the Moon_

* * *

There was a definite writhing in his gut, like someone had stuffed him full of rabbits or mice. Scratching, itching, biting and tickling all while Connie fought to keep his face completely emotionless, but that was nearly impossible when Jean was staring at him with his mouth dropped open like a gutted fish, or something.

"I'm sorry," the taller soldier pronounced slowly, eyes squinting as if not properly registering the information being processed. "I don't think I heard you right. Are you trying to tell me that Li—,"

Connie's eyebrow twitched, "Not trying. I am telling you."

Jean pressed on, "That Li—rude, blunt, upside down headed _Li_—grabbed you by the jacket and kissed you brain dead stupid?"

The memory came, unbidden and unwanted, shooting his skin through with a fierce shiver and a strange sensation to pool at the base of his stomach. "Do I look like I'm making this shit up, Jean?" he snapped, waving an arm up in an attempt to dispel some of the nerves tearing through his stomach like Military Pig newspaper. This was a bad idea. Connie realized that all too well now. Amber eyes sliding close, the buzz cut leaned back on his chair, tossing his fork on his plate, untouched and no longer appetizing.

The spiky haired man stared at him with a strange expression on his face, resembling that of disbelief and borderline amusement. Finally, after an extremely long moment of senseless staring that made Connie slowly want to throttle the man across from him, Jean let out a short huff of a sigh and his lips tensed in that certain way that Connie had gotten used to seeing when the guy was trying his damnedest to not burst out laughing. Bastard.

"Okay, then." Jean agreed, bobbing his head a bit too energetically, to not seem like he was doing more than just humor the other soldier. He seemed to realize that his companion was catching on to his inability to commit to seriousness because he was reaching down to shove some meatloaf into his mouth. "Alright, then." He mumbled through a mouthful of meat.

Connie could feel the descent into madness approach through the severe desire to split Jean's grinning head open. He didn't expect anything less from him. Granted, he did make fun of the brunet when he had seen him sporting all manner of ribbons and lace around his arms and tugged into his pockets. Relying on him something as emotionally frustrating as the kiss that should have never happened had been a good idea just twenty minutes earlier when Connie saw Li walking out of the stables.

He had been busy trying to think of the requirements for their weekly room inspections when he turned a corner, and lo and behold, Li was on the other side of the clearing ahead, accompanied by a taller girl that could not be anyone else but her sister. It was simple enough to deduct; the girl had the same auburn hair, same physical attributes (aside from being taller, and having her hair up in a ponytail). She was waving her arms about, explaining something he could not catch—mostly because he was struck dumb with shock, and partly because of the distance—when he saw Li glance up. Those green eyes only had to meet his from across the few yards that separated them before they were widening in equal surprise and shock. All too immensely, he had been struck by the fiercest urge to run and hide.

So he did.

The second Li's eyes blinked away to focus on something her sister was saying, Connie hightailed it out of there, heart jumping to his throat and the memory of Li's tongue caressing his lip forcing his knees to wobble and nearly cave mid-sprint. It had been enough to send him in an urgent frenzy of internal screaming and ramblings.

Three days since that unfortunate event. Three days since that stupid, freaking kiss and Li had all but disappeared, leaving him to contemplate her motives and thrusting him into a spiral of confused anger that made sleeping the nights that followed nearly impossible. For those three days, Connie attempted to go back to regular life. He had attempted in pushing the entire thing out of his mind, had tried his best to exercise his body to the point of failure, to leave him so physically exhausted that the memory would have no way of working its way to the front of his mind.

What was worse, when he _finally_ thought he was good and alright, composed and focused, all he had to see was the color auburn and green together (which shocked him with how many people had that hair color or that shade of eye color, because apparently there were a _lot_) and he was thrown back to that moment where Li was hissing against his lips before plunging her tongue into his mouth.

The very worst part—the absolute, most terribly terrifying part of the whole ordeal—was when he had been tossing and turning in his bed and his mind conjured up images in his sleep that jolted his body with shock. Images that consisted him grabbing at her waist instead of pushing at her wrists, pulling her hot and tight against his chest and slamming her back against the table of that small room, kissing her back with such hard passion she was moaning against his throat, bucking her hips against his and eliciting a friction that made him painfully hard…

Sweat drenched and gasping, Connie had all but thrown himself off his bed and headed straight to the showers for a cold soak. A very cold soak.

Two nights of cold showers and he was seeing no results. And when he finally turned and saw her stupid face, with her stupid green eyes and her stupid auburn hair, the sensations returned with an almighty vengeance.

Dammit. _Dammit. _

_Damn it all._

He needed a confidant. He needed to tell someone about what had happened. Armin was probably off snogging his future wife, Eren was still avoiding them (Connie didn't blame him. Jean did sort of turn into a grinning douche when Mikasa ended up appearing to them with a note that stated in the titan shifter's script – '_I'm still working on the plans for the bachelor night. Leave me alone._') And not to be prejudiced against the girls, but he couldn't exactly confide this to any of them without feeling disgustingly shy about it.

God forbid he try to take this to Captain Levi… while he respected him well enough as a leader and even a role model, just the thought of seeing the older man lift a brow with surprise made Connie want to curl up and die.

So… Jean it was.

Only, the rate the tall soldier was trying to force back the urge to laugh was making the idea of talking to the Dragon Captain seem like a less humiliating option, at the moment.

Jean let out a hard snort, doubling over to cover his mouth before his food spewed from his grinning maw. Connie felt his face flush with both anger and mortification. Slamming a fist on the table, he leaned forward, trying to catch the laughing man's gaze with a glare of his own.

"Damn you, Jean. If you choke, I swear to God, I will sit back and do nothing, you hear?" The short man growled, throwing sideways glances at their neighboring dining soldiers, kindly glaring at anyone who glanced over curiously. Jean's spiky head bobbed once more, swallowing down hard and clearing his throat.

"Alright, Connie, take it easy." The bastard had the audacity to chuckle. "So she kissed you, big deal."

Connie's jaw clenched, "Big deal?" he enunciated, eyebrow twitching at faster intervals. Jean didn't seem to notice his friend was about to throw himself at him from across the table, proceeding as he took another piece of meat into his mouth.

"Yeah, I mean, sounds like it was a pretty damn good kiss too. I'll see if I can have Sasha get some pointers from her. You said she licked the roof of your mouth before sucking on your lower lip?"—Connie let out a frustrating hissing noise through his teeth, waving his hand to urge the man to keep his voice down. Jean didn't seem to notice. "_I'm _getting tingles just thinking about it. Gotta watch out for those short, angry ones."

"Could you get serious for one fucking second?!" Connie shouted before lowering his voice, ignoring the pointed glances and how Jean was smirking like some kind of smug moron. Inhaling through flaring nostrils, Connie forced himself to calm down, putting down the fork he hadn't noticed he grabbed, slowly.

"Look, it's getting worse, okay? I haven't seen her in three days since then and I can't…" he trailed off, wondering if this was really good idea. _Screw it._ Connie thought before feeling his head fall forward, defeated and sighing. "I can't stop thinking about her, Jean. It's like she forced her way into my brain and it can't operate unless she's in it, and sleeping is practically a hell hole alone because it just gets worse every time I close my freaking eyes. I'm sleep deprived, I feel funny and just… the stupid protocol on our matched document says we have to spend an idiotic amount of time together per week… It's frustrating."

To his immense, albeit wary, relief, Jean fell silent. When Connie shot a quick glance at the soldier, he was looking at his meal with a concentrated expression on his face. It was a comfort, knowing at least that once his friend could pull his head out of his ass long enough he'd be able to give some kind of respite. After a short pause, Connie could hear Jean inhale, slow and steady before sighing, "Do you have feelings for Li, Connie?"

"No," Connie denied quickly, looking back up to meet Jean's surprised expression. Yet when he thought the word was honest, the nest of mice in his gut did not seem to find peace. "Maybe…?" no good. "Dammit," he swore, head falling back down to his chest as he ran his hands over his scalp. "I don't know."

Jean sat back, lifting a hand to scratch at his scalp, "Well, it seems like you're quite tangled up, Con-man."

Connie groaned, but couldn't find it in him to snap back a retort. The taller man leaned back on the table, placing his elbows over the wood behind his meal tray to dig his fork back into his meal. With disinterest, Connie did the same but ate without really caring for his food. "My way of looking at it," Jean said after a few moments of thoughtful chewing, "Is you've got two options."

"Oh come on," Connie groaned loudly. Jean waved a hand flippantly in response.

"One, you could keep acting like the chicken shit you're being at the moment—,"

"Chicken shit!?" was the indignant shout. "How the hell am I being a chicken shit?!"

"You're running away from the problem, dude." Jean shot back flatly. "Like I was saying, you can keep running away and deal with this issue on your own. Or you can man the hell up and confront Li about this…this thing."

"Confront me about what thing?"

It was as if someone had tossed the bag of rodents that Connie's stomach had become into a pit of flames. Heat and shock spread like molten rocks through his veins, making him jump in his seat. Both Jean and Connie gave a violent start before turning around, visibly sweating when they saw the nonchalant and uncaring expression on Li's face. The woman was holding on to a tray of food with one arm, placing her other hand to rest at her hip as she looked down her nose at the fidgeting men sitting below her.

"Oh, Li!" Jean exclaimed, grinning nervously before shooting a glance over to Connie. Connie had frozen, staring at her for a long moment before ripping his gaze away and stuffing food in his mouth at velocities that would conclude in serious health repercussions. "Fancy seeing you here!"

"It's the dining hall," She stated. "But if you're that easily impressed, Kirschstein, you should plan your next date with Sasha in the kitchen. The rate she eats bread could make or break you."

"I've lived with her for four years," Jean replied, glaring. "I already know how she eats bread."

"You would." Li agreed, but her lips twitched into something close to a smile and it left both men uncertain how to react. "But back to topic," she said before walking around the table and sliding in her usual spot beside Connie. The short man instantly scooted away. "What is it you need to confront me about?"

Wide amber eyes nearly paled before turning to look at her with an expression of serious disbelief, _is she messing with him or does she not know._ Not for the first time did Connie find himself hating how easily blank she kept her expression, betraying nothing but the curiosity curling behind her green irises.

"N-Nothing." He grumbled, looking away and returning to his meal. The silence that followed was easily one of the most awkward and terrifying instances of his life. Jean cleared his throat and began to clear off his things from the table.

"I'll, uh… I'll leave you two alone, now." He said, chuckling anxiously despite the dead frightened expression on Connie's face. Li blinked up at him, uninterested before digging her knife over a potato, as if oblivious to Connie's frantic shaking of the head toward Jean. "You two have things to talk about."

_Oh, you son of a BITCH!_ Connie roared in his head, but made no move to follow. In tense silence, the duo watched as Jean ambled off, shoulders shaking no doubt with stifled laughter and Connie let his mind trail to seeing the man strangled on the side of the road.

"Meat's a bit dry…" Li's voice startled him with its softness. Connie swallowed back the bitterness in his throat and took in a slow breath. Slowly, he turned to look at her, but she was not looking at him. Rather, she was busy carving trails through her food, quietly and with that same expression of flatness over her gaze.

"Y-yeah… I guess…" He stammered and mentally kicked himself when she hummed back. Dammit… dammit… why was this so freaking hard?

Two feet of space between them, yet Connie felt as if they were separated by a ravine and yet forced into a small space all at once. It was uncomfortable and even stuffy, but he had no idea how to excuse himself. For reasons unknown, it seemed as if the scratchings and nervous churnings in his stomach had died down into a tight and anticipatory lull, making his thinking seem to move at the rate of dripping sap. Slow, sticky and reminding him too much of the flavor she had curled through his taste buds not so long ago…

"Li… I want to talk to you." He wanted to say. It was, literally, the easiest thing to say. All he had to do was let his tongue feel less like a tree trunk and more like… well… his tongue, and allow the words to just fall out. _You make me feel different. I think we should not be together. I want to stay with you. You confuse the shit out of me. I can't stop thinking about that stupid kiss. Why did you kiss me? Why did you react so strongly? Do you like me, too or…?_

Instead, silence continued to melt time into something pathetic and weird between them. It was practically drowning him and making him wish he was Captain Levi—because, surely, he wouldn't be afraid of talking to a girl. Right?

_I'm not afraid… I'm just…_

What?

Just what…? Worried? Excited? Thrilled? Terrified? Wanting to cease existing?

"We need to talk." Li's voice came again, but it was stronger, more reminiscent to her usual self—what _was_ that anyway?—and enough to make his stomach split into two separate parts and simultaneously crash down and fly up.

"T-talk? Here? Now?" he, not so eloquently, stammered, turning amber eyes back over to the girl sitting at his side. Li shook her head, deep red and burnt orange strands of her hair falling from her shoulder.

"No." Her voice was grave. "In private."

The nest in his stomach twisted and churned then, but there was a strange heaviness building now in his chest. Building and rising until…

Connie belched. Li turned to him lifting a brow.

"Sorry… uh, yeah… uhm. Yeah." He cleared his throat, rapping a fist against his chest to get the after taste of his latest bout of anxiety out of the way. Rolling green eyes, she shoved her tray away before rising, her hand reaching for the fist against his chest. With a firm tug, Li was yanking him to his feet. Connie let out a sharp yelp, stuttering in surprise as he was dragged off. "W-wait, you m-mean, ri—you mean right now? _Now_?"

"Yes, now. Now, shut up." Li snapped over her shoulder. Connie's jaw slapped shut before nodding dumbly, nearly tripping over his feet as she took strong strides out of the dining hall. He couldn't see her face as she tugged him along, but from people's scrambling movements to get out of her way, he figured it may have been a similar expression to the fury she had pressed against his eyes and, subsequently, his mouth. A sudden fright shot through his stomach—_she's not going to kiss me again, is she?_

They made a sudden sharp turn into a small and vacant hallway. She didn't stop until they were well within it and at this point Connie's heart was ramming out a stuttering rhythm in his chest and forcing a tightness in his throat. He wished he could say all he was feeling then, was just a simple terrified anticipation, but he would be lying if he didn't admit that he felt a twinge of excitement force the blood to rush in powerful waves through his body. Without knowing, his body was registering the smooth and warm feel of her hand over his, the way her palm rubbed against his skin and eliciting the softest friction that made him feel strangely lightheaded.

Li gave his hand a violent yank, forcing him to whirl around to face her. In an instant he was beneath the force of her emerald gaze and he nearly withered at its intensity. For a moment, he just stood, back against the wall and swallowing back nervously as she stared him down, not breathing a word. Seconds passed slowly, and try as he wanted, Connie was unable to hold her stare for long, glancing down at the firm pout that was her lips. Abruptly, they moved.

"I…must apologize," She ground out, slow and reluctant. To the soldier part of him, it was enough to stun him thoroughly silent. To the young man part of him, Connie nearly felt as if someone had grabbed what he knew to be true and tipped it on its head and dressed it in a pretty bonnet.

"You… _what_…?" He wheezed after another uncomfortable stretch of silence.

"I said I apologize," She insisted. From the corner of his eyes, he could see how her hands were balled up into pale fists, trembling. Blinking back up to her face, he could see the subtle hints of embarrassment and even aggravation playing war behind her straight gaze, the lightest sign of a blush over her cheeks. "I was angry. I shouldn't have ever breached your space like that. You just really, _really_, ticked me off and I wasn't thinking. So. There, Connie Springer."

That was… the worst apology he had ever received. Ever. Shoving surprise to its rear, Connie felt a snort burst from his nose and throat, eyes closing as he tried to register what he heard correctly. Like a rising wave of ire, the past two nights of sleeplessness and frustration shoved their way up his stomach and toward his mouth. "Hold on. _I_ ticked you off?"

Li gave him a short nod, "Yes. You pissed me off. Quite immensely."

"So you're saying that what you did was justified because I supposedly ticked you off?" He scoffed.

"Not supposedly," Li corrected, crossing her arms. "You did. You disrespected me. I overreacted. Are we passed this now? Can we go back to being undoubtedly hateful of each other's presence without the elephant in the room?" With that said she was rolling her eyes and walking away, as if the matter had been settled just because she said so.

Shooting a hand out, Connie caught her around the shoulder before spinning her back around. "No," He stated, mimicking her flatness and similar irritation. "We are not passed this because you feel we are. We are not. Do you realize what you put me through?" He ranted. "What I've had to go through these past few days after you pulled off that little…" his hands spun around in aimless circles, "Stunt?"

Li's eyes widened, leaning away affronted by his attitude. "What I put you through?" She repeated.

"Yes!" He snarled, taking a step closer to get well within her space. Satisfaction spun in his chest when she took a step back, surprised. "What you put me through! I have been unable to sleep these past two nights, Li. All my brain can seem to process is the stupid repetition of that moment when you stuffed your tongue down my throat against my permission!" A flash of a blush burned through her cheeks, no doubt unexpecting the resurrection of the 'little stunt' within her mind.

"I apologized, alright?" She snapped back, baring her teeth even while he towered over her. Shoulders squaring back as she stood to the tallest of her height, her nose just passing his chin as she did so. "Besides, I don't see why it should have been such a big deal!"

"A big deal!?" Connie exclaimed.

"It obviously shouldn't have happened since it was such a horrible kiss anyway!" Her arms were thrown backwards, her back leaning behind her as she let her body emulate the exasperation her voice alone didn't seem to carry enough to her standards.

"Horrible kiss?!" He squawked, feeling more than his pride being questioned, feeling more than just insulted. The past few nights had left him so unbelievably frustrated and this…this…this _woman_ made it seem as if it was just the sort of thing one could throw away—as if she hadn't angrily placed the most shocking, and arguably, best kisses of his life. She said it was horrible? Properly seething, Connie very nearly lunged for her as she finally turned away and began to walk off once more.

"Let's just let this whole thing drop, okay?" Li grunted, hair flaring behind her like the flames he felt burning him in his chest. "I said I'm sorry. I don't owe anything else to you."

Connie could honestly not remember moving. He could not remember breathing, let alone running after her. All he knew was that she downright pissed him off in ways no one had ever had, not even Jean had ever infuriated him to this state. The next thing he knew, Connie's hand was gripped over the crook over her elbow before spinning her around and throwing her against the nearest wall.

She had enough time to gasp before he pressed himself hard against her, and doing the stupidest thing he could have done to Hanna Li Dorinski. One of his arms snaked its way around her waist, slamming her front against his, while the other shot out to grip around her cheek and under her jaw, angling her face up just enough for his mouth to meet hers in a sharp kiss that hurt his teeth for a moment.

She let out a sharp and muffled groan, her hands falling to squeeze over his shoulders as he attacked her mouth in the similar movements that had haunted his lips and left him gasping late at night. Lower lip caught between his teeth, he hissed when he felt her fingernails rake over his scalp before meeting at the juncture of his head and neck. The taste had not changed, it was sharp, it was tart and had a bitter sting that was as repugnant as it was deliciously addicting. She was growling against him, shoving him as he fought to keep her still and firm against the wall.

It was hard, it was violent, but it made Connie feel so strangely liberated it reminded him of the first few times he had used his maneuver gear. Their kiss proceeded in this manner for the next unnoticeable eternity, tugging and fighting, but after his hand had reached up to grasp hard to her hair, her body gave a sudden and strong shiver that suddenly made her slacken against his hold. For a moment, he felt a fear paralyze him completely, worried he may had taken it too far. The fear died to make way for a strange confusion when she let out a soft and breathy moan against him, her movements becoming less aggressive and more sensual.

No longer did her teeth seek to mark his lips violently, but nibbled gently. Her tongue no longer felt as though it was prodding and whipping against his but caressed with an unprecedented smoothness that made his attack fall apart to the sensations and moans she was eliciting.

He hadn't expected it, but the next thing he knew—Connie was kissing Li deeply, unable to stop himself from reciprocating the bizarre slowness she was directing. Breathing hard, he tried to pull away, allowing him only enough time to let out a soft gasp of air before she was wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him back in and doing that thing with her tongue against the roof of his mouth that made his knees tremble.

His hold over her waist tightened, his hand pressing against the curve of her hip and allowing his mind to go delightfully blank as she moaned and sighed against him, lips sucking at his lower one before directing their attention to his upper lip. It was mind boggling and if he thought the kiss she had given him days ago was amazing… this one shot that one out of the water. Out of nowhere, one of her legs rose over his, her knee bracing his hips closer and making him rub against her at an angle that made the air tighten over his throat, making him want to taste more than her lips and let his tongue travel down her jaw, to taste her throat…

"…Hanna…Li?"

One minute Li was kissing him senseless and the very next instant she was ripping herself off him and leaving him to fall against the wall and nearly smack himself against the stone. "Wha—?" Connie breathed, blinking lazily up toward the source of the voice, but not before catching Li rubbing at her mouth and straightening her jacket with an almost frightened frenzy.

"R-Riza!" Li coughed, looking up with an expression Connie had never seen before. She looked properly panicked out of her mind, cheeks flushed and lips kiss stung. Maybe it was the effects of the kiss, but her mouth looked so weirdly delectable… but Connie was already forcing his attention toward the entrance of the hallway, his eyes registering the familiar face of the girl who appeared to be Li's sister. She looked positively thunder struck.

"Nothing happened!" Connie blurted out, not knowing what to do with his hands as he tried to feign normalcy. "We were…uh…"

"Talking!" Li filled in, fiddling with the buttons of her jacket, looking like she was about to collapse to her knees any second. "Just talking, Riza. What… what is it?"

Riza's expression jumped back and forth between the two caught young adults, a calculating gleam twinkling in her eye and Connie was eerily reminded of Li at once. _Good Maria, they could be twins._ He thought before moving away from the wall, making it a point to stay a safe difference away from Li. Slowly, Riza lifted a slim finger to point at him, her lips curling into a mortifying and smug leer.

"Wait…" She hummed, grinning wolfishly. "Are you…? Is he…?"

"No one!" Li clicked her tongue curtly. "Let's go." Without bothering to spare him a glance, Li was storming her way out of the hallway, grabbing on to Riza's extended hand and dragging her away.

"Oh my _GOD. HE IS!"_ Riza squealed. Connie felt his stomach drop to his feet.

"Shut up, Riza." Li silenced brutally as their footsteps echoed off. Before he could make his own escape a sudden fast progression of footsteps neared the hallway, making him stand alert and ready for anything. What he didn't expect was for Riza to pop her head around the corner before her eyes were looking him over.

"Uh…" Connie mumbled before she grinned again.

"Oh, he's cute. I dig the buzz cut. Li, why didn't you tell me your match was a total heart throb?" Connie's mouth went dry as his cheeks burned bright.

"RIZA, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"

The smirk returned with a vengeance before the taller Dorinski sent him a saucy wink. "Nice to meet you, by the way. I'm Riza."

"C-Connie… Connie Springer…" He introduced mindlessly, still reeling over the kiss and Riza's unexpected comment.

The auburn haired woman pursed her lips, green eyes squinting before asking, "Isn't that a girl's name?" In a blink, Riza disappeared, her laughter twinkling in the air after her. Connie moved before he could think, running around the corner just in time to see Riza wave to him with a lewd grin while Li yanked at her ponytail. Just like that, they disappeared down another turn and he was left staring after partially crowded hallway.

"Oi, Connie!" Jean's voice hit him from the side, but Connie was still staring after the last he saw of Li and her crazy(er) sister, Riza. "How'd it go, you talk to her yet? Connie? Hey, you in there? Who you waving to? Connie?"

_What the ever loving hell…did just happen…?_

* * *

Porcelain clicked and squealed softly as a teacup was placed back over its matching coaster, the translucent dark liquid heaving back and forth before reaching equilibrium. Silver eyes trailed the edges of the pale cup, noticing with apt attention the way the smooth designs of flowers and leaves done in gentle curls of soft color. A similar sound reached small ears and lips tightened just a fraction as an awkward silence filled the space between Commander and Squad Leader.

"This is very good tea…" Rico voiced softly, letting her fingers follow the smoothness of the cup on her lap.

"I am pleased you enjoy it," her companion replied and after another short few seconds of silence she looked back up. He was watching her with an inscrutible expression that made her feel strangely self conscious, but suddenly, he was smiling lightly at her. Rico could do nothing else but return it.

"It helps to have the Merchant's Guild so at your mercy, doesn't it?" She joked lightly and she felt relieved when he chuckled in response.

"It certainly does," Erwin said, lifting a broad hand to scoop out some more sugar to stir in his cup. "How have you felt these past few days here, Miss Brzenska?"

She grimaced, disliking the sound of the given honorific. "Just… Rico. Rico is fine."

"Very well," the soft sound of metal kissing china reached her ears before he set his spoon back down. "Rico. How have you enjoyed your stay?"

"It's not home, if that's what you're asking."

Blond eyebrows rose in a soft expression of mild surprise and Rico sighed, holding back the urge to wince, and placed her still full cup of tea back on the table between them. "Forgive me." She said. "That was…rude."

"What is home to you then?" Erwin asked then, making her blink in confusion. He lifted his cup to his lips and took a slow draught of his sugary tea, blue eyes never leaving hers as he waited. It was a strange question but it wasn't exactly out of her range of expectancy—it made sense…to ask something like that. The realization that she would be soon marrying this man and soon after giving him children played like a melancholic chord in her chest, sobering what was already sober and making her feel rather useless.

"The Garrison." She replied softly, letting her eyes fall back to the porcelain. "It's the only home I have left."

"You don't have any family?" He questioned, and the soft clatter of teacup on tea coaster caught her attention to see him mimicking her previous action. Rico turned her gaze back into his, searching for a sign of emotion aside from the curious scrutiny he was paying her. She didn't know exactly what it was… but it was as if he was searching for only one answer—as if there was only ever one right answer to this open ended question.

"My squad is my family," Rico declared, unwavering. "Ever since I became Squad Leader…the members of my squad have become more than a unit. They became more than my friends. I am sure you can relate to this sort of feeling."

Erwin let out a thin breath through his nose, as if amused, but his expression was too bitter to be amusement. "If I can, then that would make me a murderer of family ties."

A stone fell deep within her chest and it forced her gaze downward, unsure how to approach the heavy subject. _The Commander is a good man, Rico. _Pixis's words returned to her mind, small but dark smile hiding behind the scruff of his mustache. _He knows what it is like to carry wounds and burdens. Of others, and of himself. It may be much to ask… but I implore you may assist him in carrying these burdens—not as his wife. But as a fellow soldier. _

They were all burdened. All of them. They all carried blood on their hands. Rico knew this intimately. She could easily recall the many hours she had spent beneath a boiling water spout, scrubbing at raw skin to get what memory and stain she could off her skin. Yet, despite all the soap and lathers and all the perfumes the female soldiers would occasionally like to buy… she could never get rid of that stench. The stench of hot iron, rust, and macabre.

In the dark of each night, after she returned to bed and laid in silence… she liked to think that if she prayed hard enough, all those names would be able to hear her. All those voices and smiles would be able to understand that she survived and that she was surviving for them. For all of them.

She had failed many soldiers, and it was enough to rip into her dreams and damage hours of rest. Only, here she was, looking at the face of one of the men who had designed orders and commands—knowing full well that many of those tactics would end in bloodshed. _How heavy is your ledger, Erwin? How bloody is your conscience?_

An abrupt knock on the door alerted the two brooding soldiers. "Commander," Keiji's voice was heard through the wood. Rico vaguely wondered how loud he was truly shouting, considering they were not so close to the door in this rather large space.

"Yes, Keiji?" Erwin called, but made no move to rise or lower his own gaze from Rico's face. Frankly, it made her squirm inwardly a little. She hadn't really paid it much attention, but his gaze… it pierced as much as it studied. Not even Commander Pixis' stare demanded such strict attention. Or perhaps, this was merely a result to their inevitable union. Perhaps, she felt hyper aware of such focus because they would ultimately have to engage in intimacy and the thought alone was enough to send her stomach in a fit of spirals. Turning her gaze away once more, Rico preoccupied herself with taking another sip of her cooling tea.

Keiji's voice was heard again, "You have…visitors."

"I am busy," Erwin replied, and Rico fought the urge to stand up and walk away when he mimicked her again. "Tell them to see me later this evening."

The door swung open, drawing their attention to the intrusion and demanding their focus away from one another. Several steps and Keiji looking absolutely torn after, three unfamiliar faces walked in, on their chests the Unicorn of the Military Police was borne proudly and with arrogance.

"Commander Erwin Smith," Spoke the head of the group, a fierce looking woman with hair tied sharply back to the back of her head in a tight bun. Her golden eyes looked more yellow than amber and reminded Rico of the unforgiving stare of a street cat's—calculating and ever on the lookout for prey. She was a full head shorter than her taller companions, men with bored expressions that announced a laziness and disdain that Rico grew all too quickly to loathe. "Good day."

"Good day," He parroted, blue eyes narrowing as he stood to welcome them in, yet his body language spoke of obvious distaste and desire to deal with this later. Rico followed suit, taking step behind him and leaving their tea on the small table. "I was informed your arrival would not be until later this week, for the Poltrabend."

"Your intel was incorrect," the woman replied, as if she were addressing a lowly soldier rather than the Commander of the 13th legion. Already, Rico could feel a strong dislike for her. "I am Major Harke, these are my subordinates, Lieutenants Russo and Leonhardt."

"Leonhardt?" Erwin worded, turning a raised brow towards the blond looking soldier. The man turned his chin upwards, as if challenging. Rico had to hold back from barking at the men's disrespectful attitudes. Not once in their entrance had they offered a salute, as was customary, to the Commander—a feat that would have gotten a cadet flogged for insubordination. _Military Pigs._ Rico thought acidly.

"I am in no ways affiliated with Annie Leonhardt, sir." The man replied, tugging hands in his pants with a half shrug. "So you may rest easy."

"Indeed," Erwin said curtly, his stance straightening as he looked over the other soldiers.

"Commander Smith," Major Harke stated, directing the attention back over to her. "We have come here to stay for the duration of two weeks, starting effective immediately. Our intentions are simply this: To monitor all seeming progressions of all matches given by the state and High Courts, as well as ensure there is no dissension amongst ranks—,"

"I am fully aware of your intentions, Major." Erwin interrupted, blue eyes narrowing. "I am capable of reading the simple instructions given by the Marquis in charge of the jurisdiction."

"I am not questioning your literary capabilities, Commander," the woman replied, blinking a sort of exasperated expression the two other soldiers shared with half grins. Rico's blood boiled, but remained silent, settling in placing her fists to rest behind her back as she directed a flat stare over the military pigs. "I am simply following orders. Something, I am sure, you are certain to understand."

_The hell is she implying? _Rico thought, biting down on the inside of her cheek. From the corner of her peripheral vision, Rico caught the slightest twitch in Erwin's hands—no doubt catching the subtle jab beneath the Major's words.

"I understand completely, Major Harke." The broad man said easily, tilting his head slightly to the side. "However, your orders are redundant. I appreciate the concerns you have but I would encourage you now to locate your living quarters for the remainder of your stay."

Harke's yellow eyes flashed, aggravated, "We are grateful for your hospitality, Commander. However, I must insist to proceed with the orders given by _our_ superiors, no disrespect intended."

"You are no longer within the jurisdiction of _your_ superiors, Major." Rico snapped, feeling more than enough done dealing with this woman and her two lackeys. The three policemen turned to her with surprised expressions, as if just barely noticing she was in the room. "If I recall correctly, protocol states that when placed under another commanding officer's jurisdiction, all orders given by said commanding officer must be followed—regardless of previous commands. Am I incorrect, Major?"

"I'm sorry," the woman chuckled and Rico could feel the beginnings of a familiar murderous intent scratch at her fingers. "Who are you?"

At the cheeky question, the silver haired woman bristled. "Squad Leader of the Elite Forces of the Garrison, Rico Brzenska." She stated, allowing her voice to drip with as much condescension as possible.

Major Harke snorted, "Am I supposed to be impressed?"

There was a short moment of silence, before Rico cleared her throat. "Assists: one hundred and sixty three. Kills: one hundred and twelve. That is a grand total of two hundred and seventy five." she cited bitingly, not bothering to curb her disdain from her voice.

The three soldiers exchanged confused glances, Major Harke's cat like yellows narrowing. Rico tilted her chin forward, "Titan kills, Major. Most of them ranging within the ranks of 17-meter class Abberants. I alone was able to take down a 20-meter Abberant during the siege of Trost four years ago. So allow me to redirect this question to you, Major." Rico chuckled derisively, "but who are any of _you _to show such blatant disrespect to the Commander of the 13th legion of the Survey Corp?"

"Blatant disrespect?" Harke exclaimed, looking outraged while the other two turned irritated glares over to Rico.

"I'm sorry," Rico chuckled again. "Wrong question. Are you aware of the full repercussions of such insubordination to a superior Commander, Major? Believe me, I am more than willing to assist in dishing out the reminder."

Harke let out a sharp scoff, turning her gaze back to Commander Erwin's, "I have had enough talking with this Garrison Dog, Commander. We shall be patrolling your halls and gathering information. Call upon us when we can discuss without such needless barkings."

Rico flared, hands jumping to her sides and seeking out swords that weren't there, more than ready to rip out this woman's throat. "If you want to keep your tongue where it is, _swine whore, _I suggest you watch your—,"

"Rico." Erwin stated, effectively silencing her with a sideways glance. Rico's mind was racing, thoughts to ignore his command flashed in tantalizing curls as the image of disposing of these arrogant pigs became a desire too real to ignore. Yet, she restrained herself, deciding instead to shoot violent daggers from her eyes at the smug looking woman standing just feet away. _I've killed vermin bigger than you, pig._

"I appreciate your suggestions, Major Harke." Erwin replied, "You are dismissed."

With a series of nods and final provocative glances over to Rico's seething figure, they turned and walked out of the room, Keiji looked just as brutally hateful at them as Rico felt but said no words as he closed the door behind them.

"One word," Rico grunted. "Just one and I would've ripped her apart."

To her surprise, Erwin did not scold or reprimand for speaking out of turn. Instead, he chortled, earning him a bewildered glance from the shorter woman. He turned and walked back to his desk, still chuckling.

"Did I say something funny?" Rico asked, frowning and watching him with narrow eyes, uncertain whether to follow or return to her seat and tea. She settled for standing.

"You reminded me of someone," He replied before pulling his chair back and sitting down, lips curled up in unveiled mirth. "I must ask you to keep from culling our resident swine, if at all possible."

The comment was enough to make a grin of her own to spread over her lips, feeling the atmosphere lighten in a way she had not predicted but did not reject. Rico made her way back to her tea, more to hide her smiles from his scrutiny and to contemplate this latest development. "I will make no such promises." A light peal of laughter escaped past Erwin's lips and Rico found herself enjoying the sound enough to chuckle along with him.

_Perhaps…he's not as severe as I supposed._

* * *

Dark eyes stared down with a soft expression, the gentle light of dawn curling within gray irises and escaping into the depth of a sad upturned curl of lips. Carefully, Mikasa traced soft fingers over the dream cast countenance of her lover, pushing away the black bangs away from his forehead as he slept and snoozed.

She had been watching him sleep for the past hour now. For the fifth night since Erwin and Levi's last reunion, Levi had woken in fierce trembles and violent grips over her skin, grasping over her face and checking her head and chest for wounds that weren't real. In response she would offer silent shushings, breathing slowly as he tried to control the gasps lodging within the tightness of his throat before he calmed. It took nearly forty minutes to calm him, to press certain kisses against his lips and ease herself over him—she didn't know why, but he seemed to find the most comfort when he could feel her entire weight over his torso and hips, letting their legs tangle beneath the sheets as he gripped her tight against him.

"I'm here…I'm alright," She whispered when he had pressed his face against the crook of her shoulder, inhaling deeply despite the shaking of his hands.

"I know," he would reply, before pulling her down for a series of deep kisses and light grinds of hip bones against hip bones.

He would then push her on her back trailing well-worn roads of kisses down her neck to her collarbones, his hands lifting at her night clothes to expose her to him and she would let him. In the laze of the early morning, he would bury himself between her legs, drown within the slow gasps and sighs of her moans and the familiar rhythm that was their own intimate dance. Gentle and soothing, he would take her. Yet, despite all his shifts and grunts of arousal, she could still taste desperation in his tongue, feel the remaining tremors of the nightmares still playing in the back of his closed lids—yanking his eyebrows together even as she raked her nails against his spine.

"Levi…" She would sigh, leading his hands to press against the space beneath her right breast, to allow him to feel the pounding of her heart and to let him feel the way his would match her rhythm. Faster he would move before she was pressing herself fully against him, letting out high pitched cries that signaled the peak of her pleasure and the peak of his.

"Thank you…" Levi would hum against her, pressing open mouth kisses against her throat before collapsing at her side, nuzzling her skin with his nose as she curled around him.

"What's wrong, Levi?" She murmured as his breathing slowed. "Tell me…"

Whether or not he heard her, Mikasa was slowly beginning to find uncertainty. So she would wait until he fell asleep and hope it would be freed from the shackles of the nightmares enslaving him. Softly, she placed kisses against his forehead and temples, curling her fingers under his jaw to kiss his sleeping mouth and hope it would be enough.

She didn't know why she felt so terribly useless. Her heart weighed down with each tight pull of his eyebrows, wishing that each hard line that formed over his face would soon be smoothed away by the feel of her in his arms. It had been enough the first couple of nights, with a kiss his scowl lines would disappear and he would let out a soft sigh, as if relieved, before wrapping her closer.

Now… it didn't seem to be working. It hurt, it made her anxious to see how he had to struggle on his own whenever they fell asleep together. It would only become worse when he would refuse to speak when they both woke.

"Why can't you tell me?" She wanted to ask, but could see how he looked at her after she would say, "I'm not going anywhere, you know that right?" it was meant as a comfort, but a gleam of agony burned bright behind his narrow eyes and he would look away before she could decipher why it caused him so much pain for her to say that. So, she would settle on the only declaration that still seemed to bring him the light and joy that had squeezed her to him, weeks ago under the rain.

"I love you." She murmured to him as he slept, his fingers flickering over her skin as his eyes flashed back and forth under his lids. "I love you."

Half an hour later, he stirred, blinking up blearily into her warm gaze and offer her a half smile and place a palm against her cheek to lift her hair away from her face. "Hey," He would mouth and she would grin in response.

"Hey," she greeted before leaning down and claiming his lips with as much love and adoration as she could give him without alarming him. "How'd you sleep?"

"Like a baby," He snorted, lifting himself up to his elbows to meet her nose-to-nose. Mikasa's smile wavered, saying nothing when he leaned in to press his nose against her neck and to fondle her side and flick a thumb over her chest. "You?"

"I slept okay."

He pulled away, lifting a brow, "Just okay?"

"Well you did wake me up for sex," She chuckled, but let the implication of his nightmares make its way through her eyes. He smirked in response, but looked away. That alone made her heart slant downwards, saddened he still refused to talk to her about this. "How about we have a shower?"

Levi flicked steel blue eyes back over hers, before grabbing her wrists and pressing her down on the bed. "I would like a shower," He said huskily. "But I don't think I'm dirty enough for one."

"Oh really?" She retorted, but let him kiss her. "That's a start."

"I'm actually rather hungry at the moment," He grinned against her cheek, dipping to nibble at her earlobe and she let out a sharp squeal when his tongue flicked out to a tickle spot in her neck.

"Levi, don't!" She exclaimed between treacherous giggles.

"I think I will." He said before biting down on the juncture between shoulder and neck, forcing her to moan. "Thank you for the meal," he kissed before working his way down and leaving her a whimpering mess.

One hour later, they were both showered and dressed, her hands working on the cravat against his throat as he watched her with a lazy expression. "You're doing it wrong."

"Shut up," she snapped, ignoring the way his fingers ran up and down her waist, focusing on adjusting the white cloth. With a nod, Mikasa flattened the cloth over his chest before pulling him in for a final kiss. "Just one more week and I'll be your lieutenant." She breathed.

"Hmm," Levi's fingers tightened over her waist before deepening their connection, "Don't get cocky, brat."

Mikasa chuckled before pulling away, warmly saying, "I'll see you later old man."

"Lunch?" He offered as he walked off. Mikasa gave him a nod and he graced her with a small smile. When he turned around, she could feel her own smile tighten, disappointed and disheartened.

_Why won't you talk to me…?_ She thought as she watched her Captain strut off, shouting a sharp command to a couple of cadets lounging around. They scrambled up to pay him a salute, and she chuckled softly before turning around and making her way down the opposite direction.

The heaviness in her throat had not gone, even after her body still tingled with the euphoria only Levi could give her. Did he not know how much it worried her? To see the building of dark circles under his eyes and the lightest slackening in his stance due to this exhaustion? Even though there was an element of relief after they both collapsed together, gasping, she could see it.

She could plainly see how he ached for the peaceful sleeping they had both enjoyed their first week together. Her footsteps echoed in her ears as she made her way down the halls toward the dining hall, caught in the web of her mind to not realize her name was being called.

"Mikasa… Mikasa!" She finally heard, head perking up to look around for the source when she saw Sasha waving at her from a table, her plate stacked high with breads and sausages while Krista nibbled on a roll.

"Sasha!" Mikasa exclaimed, making her way passed tables and weaving through chattering soldiers. "How did you get so much food?"

The auburn haired woman grinned mischievously, beckoning her close and waiting for the Oriental to take a seat in front of her. "The staff in the kitchen owed me a favor, so I decided to cash it out by getting a large spread for my girls." She motioned and invited her to take some food from her plate.

The scent of cooked meat and freshly baked bread wafted up her nose, making her mouth water. Reaching over, Mikasa snatched up Sasha's fork and stabbed a sausage with an appreciative hum.

"Thanks," Mikasa said with a mouthful of sausage. She took a moment to enjoy the spicy flavor, chewing slowly. "What's the occasion?"

Krista blinked bright blue eyes up at the newly situated girl, beaming, "Tonight, the boys are taking Armin out for his bachelor night. Sasha wanted to do the same, but I have much too much to plan to spend more than a meal time out. So, we're having breakfast together."

"I thought Jean was helping you with organizing," Mikasa mused, grabbing a napkin from under the tray to dab at some grease dripping down her chin.

"He is, but I can't have him do everything," Krista giggled, lifting a hand to pull away the stubborn strand of gold that liked to fall between her eyes. "Besides, I want the boys to enjoy themselves tonight."

"Historiaaa…" Sasha grumbled, "Are you sure you don't want to go out? I know a couple of really well built soldiers who would just _love_ to give you a lap dance." At the thought, Krista's cheeks burned a bright pink, her head shaking furiously. Mikasa sniffed, amused, before taking a piece of warm bread and ripped it in half with her hands.

"Oh no," Krista denied, "I don't think I would like that. I get flustered enough with Armin teasing me in the mornings—no, Sasha, not _that_ kind of teasing, you perv. So I think I'll just stick with arranging the last of the seating chart, thanks."

"But, wait," the raven haired woman interjected, "If that's the case, won't it bother you if Armin gets a lap dance from another woman?"

Krista pursed her lips, frowning, "I guess. I mean, I know its tradition, or whatever. I know he would hate the thought of me letting some guy rub himself all over me."

Sasha clicked her tongue, reaching to nab a sausage up with her fingers, "So, what are you going to insist he doesn't get strippers?"

The petite blonde woman let out a slow sigh, scowling, "I don't know. I talked to Jean earlier about it, and he kept going on and on about how it was a rite of passage for men, how it would prep him up to take his responsibility as a man… or something."

"Of course, Jean would say that." Mikasa deadpanned, rolling her eyes before glancing at Sasha. "You need to keep your boy under wraps."

Sasha blew a raspberry in response, "Jean talks big, but he's harmless. I would know. I'm the one who tops."

"Ew, Sasha!" Krista squealed, face flushing scarlet. "I seriously did not need to know that."

Sasha didn't seem to have heard her friend, turning a naughty gaze over to Mikasa, "On that topic," she muttered under her breath and leaning close over the table. "How are you with the Captain, Mikasa? Any raunchy stuff you want to share?"

"No." Mikasa stated before shoving a roll of bread into the auburn haired woman's mouth. Krista sighed after Sasha let out a muffled shout as she proceeded to eat the roll despite sending Mikasa a nose-wrinkled glare.

"You're not getting married until next year, right?" The blonde asked, grabbing at a slice of butter to smear it on her bitten roll. Mikasa turned to her, nodding slowly. Krista didn't seem particularly confused, but she had once been super sweet and overly generous in the past. When they all found out about Historia Reiss and her background, the young woman had suddenly become more solemn, brooding and even melancholic. She hadn't bothered in keeping up pretenses, deciding in merely taking orders and keeping to herself.

At the time, Mikasa had not really bothered with getting to know her. Krista was her own issue, she had to deal with being used as a pawn for most of her life and it was not until they had lived under the same house that Mikasa had grown to distrust her. Plainly put, she didn't like placing Eren's safety along with the girl's.

But when push came to shove, Krista had made a choice, she embraced her name as Historia Reiss and even accepted much of what their group brought out in her. Mikasa still didn't know what it was, or what Eren had said (as it became known later on that he had shared many conversations with the girl and helped her on that journey) but the change was practically overnight.

No longer was Historia Reiss an empty doll, nor was she, Krista Lenz, an assuming god-like patron of kindness. She became her own person, even going so far in falling in love with Armin and choosing a life as a soldier rather than return to the expectancies of nobility. In the end, Krista had proven her worth, and Mikasa had accepted her efforts and had grown past the distrust.

Were they friends? Mikasa liked to think so, she was marrying her best friend and closest thing to brother she had, aside from Eren. All in all, the girl was alright by her standards. She made Armin happy, that's what counts.

"Yeah," Mikasa said, smiling faintly at the reminder. "Next year."

"How come?" Sasha intervened, mouth still chewing on a piece of bread too big to fit behind her teeth. Mikasa sent the girl a grossed out expression that she returned with a shrug.

"We like the spring," Mikasa said, letting her fingers dig within another fresh roll and enjoying the warmth it seeped into her cold fingers. "We both agreed that if we were going to be married, it would be when the flowers were blooming."

"That's really sweet," Krista cooed, smiling cutely at Mikasa's soft expression. "Armin and I really like the autumn… with all the colors and the beginning of winter."

"I never pegged the Captain to be so… sappy." Sasha replied, snickering behind a palm. Mikasa tossed another piece of bread at the girl.

"He's still the same," the raven haired woman defended, "He's still crude and rough around the edges."

At this, Krista was shaking her head, blonde hair falling past her shoulders to follow the motions, "He's not the same man, Mikasa. You have to admit he's different now."

"Yeah!" Sasha agreed, leaning her elbows on the wood of the table, nudging Mikasa's boot with her own under the table. "He's…softer now. Like you are. The Captain Levi I remember didn't hesitate to rip into Titans, or even people. When people call him the Dragon, it's really true. It was like one bad look and he would breathe fire on you and take apart everything you know."

"But ever since we started living together, he softened up." Krista added. Mikasa pursed her lips, pensive.

"Eren said that it was because he accepted us as his squad. I'm sure he did that same to his previous squad. It probably took him a while to warm up to us."

Krista smiled again before reaching over to place a hand over Mikasa's hand, soft and warm fingers squeezing gently over hers. "I'm more than sure it had more to do with you than us, Mikasa. You were the same. You were so one-track minded and tense, always ready to defend Eren. Captain Levi changed that, I think. I think when you both connected, you were able to find the softness of each other's spirits. You were made for each other. And I think, and Sasha can agree, that you two are truly humanity's strongest."

A surge of warmth spread from Mikasa's chest to the rest of her body, flushing her with contentment and even shy acceptance. Nevertheless, she cleared her throat and pulled her hand away from Krista's smooth grip, "I doubt we were _made_ for each other…" the young woman grumbled, but the thought was kind enough and her previous doubts slowly faded away.

_They're right._ She thought as they continued into their meal, conversation falling to what the boys had in store for Armin and if the poor guy could take it. Sasha guffawed, Mikasa chuckled and Krista giggled as they imagined the terrible end result of tonight's issue. Soon enough conversation moved to the Poltrabend (it was only two nights away!) and what they had in store. All in all, Mikasa enjoyed these girls' company, enjoyed how close she cared for them and how they cared for her in turn. _They're right. _

_Levi and I overcame a lot together, and even after several months of not talking… we still made it through. We'll be alright. _She thought. _We'll be alright. _

Glancing up, Mikasa peered through the high windows above the dining hall, catching a sliver of blue through the heavy overcast of clouds passing through. A small smile lit its way over her lips, before she turned her attention back to the women chattering in front of her.

_I'm sure the worst has passed._

* * *

In the years of her youth, Hanji Zoe had once been a shy and timid little frail child. At the tender age of four, she had been running down a thin street and when she made a turn to reach her home, she had stumbled into a group of older kids, playing with matches and lighting a small kitten's fur on fire. The poor thing yowled and screeched, scratching and squirming while the others laughed and mimicked its agonized cries.

At the time, all Hanji could do was watch. Stunned, horrified and even outraged, she wanted nothing more than to run up to those bastard kids and rip them apart, to save the poor animal and even tend to its wounds. But when they turned and noticed her, Hanji flinched, startled. It had been enough for the small animal to find an escape and with a fierce scratch to one of the boys' hands, it burst off under a house, bleeding and limping.

Angry, the boys turned on her, shouting at her and asking why she had to stick her nose where it didn't belong. In that moment she had been overwhelmed by a strange sensation, one that paralyzed her as much as it coursed through her blood like the very fire they played with. She never once lifted a finger, but she remembered screaming when they proceeded to burn one of her pigtails.

In the end, an adult arrived in time to land some brutal kicks to her abusers and send them scurrying off. Hanji never forgot the smell of burnt hair. She never forgot the instant that they all turned to her. She never forgot the way the little kitten had turned big green eyes in her direction, wide and afraid. But most of all… she never forgot how enraged she felt, and how much she wanted retribution later on in her life.

To say Hanji Zoe had been a violent girl was an understatement. While her hair grew back, she dedicated much of her time in learning how to punch and trying to appease her Uncle's demands in helping with caring for her mother. In her bed, Hanji's mother had only pleaded that she grow up gentle, that she would forget about life beyond the walls and forgive the boys who had harmed her.

Hanji had nodded then, but her heart had never accepted the promise and her mother died peacefully in her sleep. She never once told the dying woman about the instant with the cat, and how watching those flames and watching those eyes had changed her life completely.

Hanji wanted nothing more than to burn those who dared prey on the weak. As she grew, she grew with the intense desire to find those boys who had hurt her. And one day, after Hanji had turned eight, she had found them. It had been the first time she ever punched another human being enough to make them bleed, and while the sight of it shocked her, she could never forget how hot that boy's blood felt against her skin. _It's warm…_ She had thought, gazing at the blood stain after, and she continued to stare at it even while her uncle shouted at her for being reckless and cried when her injuries kept her in bed for three weeks.

That was the moment Hanji had felt herself grow. She grew to hate the people who laughed at those who were dumb.

Her uncle had become worried, even more so after she had started arriving home with less and less injuries and more angry parents marching over to demand for Hanji to be thrown in some place for delinquents. So they moved away, and her uncle decided it would be best to place her somewhere she could learn, instead of fight.

When Hanji turned ten, she had been transferred into her first school and it would take her until she turned thirteen to realize that her uncle had sold much of her mother's things to pay for the tuition. During her stay, she learned much about why humanity dwelled within the walls. When she was old enough to understand what the word 'Titan' truly meant, she felt the same anger of her youth bubble within her soul.

_They are our predators. _Her teacher had said, gravely. _And we must respect and fear them._

"I don't want to." She had said, balling her hands into fists. "Respect is earned, and if they earned yours by killing others, then they don't deserve mine."

At the age of fourteen, Hanji had left her uncle a note and ran away, expressing her sole intent to join the military. It was there that she experienced pain—real pain—since her days as a kid. She understood honor, loyalty, even fear. Yet, all she allowed herself to feel was anger, anger because she wanted to prove to everyone that the Titans did not deserve their fear.

"What faction are you going to join, Hanji?" One of her fellow trainees had asked her as their date of graduation loomed close.

"The Survey Corp." She answered honestly.

"You mean you want to be like Luis Bodt and see the outside lands?"

"No," she replied, looking into the flames within the fireplace of their cabin. "I just want to kill as many Titans as I can."

On the eve of Hanji's sixteenth birthday, she tasted fear. _True, unadulterated fear. _

It was not in the form of a Titan, no. The instant the gates had opened and she spurred her horse's side, Hanji had felt a thrill fill her to the brim, her eyes remained fixed on the horizon ahead instead of the skies above. She had ridden and she had ridden hard, eyes always on the lookout for a bumbling figure that deserved to die.

She could never remember the reason for their expedition, all she knew was that one moment she was riding, the next she was in the sky, hooks digging into the flesh of a bumbling giant and her swords ripping deep within its neck before ripping them out. Blood shot out like a geyser in a hot stream, it slapped against her cheeks and it _burned. _

It burned so strong and it felt like it lit her on fire, all she could register was how she could not hold back the delighted laughter that exploded from her lips the instant her prey had fallen. _I am your hunter, you wretched piece of shit. _She had snarled at its steaming corpse.

But her victory had only lasted a single moment, because when she glanced up, her eyes froze on the sight of one of her teammate's crying out, held on both ends by a Titan with a wide grin. Before she could react, the Titan's hands gripped on to the crying man, and snapped his spine as if it were no easier than snapping a twig into two.

But in that instant, Hanji could feel the horror escalate, because just before she witnessed her comrade's death—through the yards of space between them—she met the man's wide eyed stare, tears leaking from his eyes as he bore the final moments of fear for his life into her eyes. _No._

She had thought she had become strong enough, she was convinced she was invincible. Yet even when her hands were trained in the use of swords, even when she had been able to kill one of her enemies… She had been unable to stop the needless death of an innocent by the hands of the evil. For all her training and weaponry… Hanji Zoe had confronted the true nature of her humanity.

She had stared into the face of her own insignificance… and she had been unable to look it in the eye and not shatter completely.

In the end, Hanji had been unable to do more aside from following the order to retreat, the smiling Titan serving as nothing more than a grim reminder of her ultimate power.

She was nothing.

For all her hatred, and rage… for all her violence and bloodlust, and for all the titans she felled since then, Hanji Zoe could never shake off the feeling of incomplete desolation.

And it had burned her.

"_I don't know what this is supposed to mean…" blue eyes peered up at her with a soft smile. "But if there is anyone out there that can figure this out… it's you, Cadet Zoe."_

The window to the study creaked as it swung open, slow and whining. The wind was howling, but it was hitting the castle toward the direction her window faced… letting in only cold drafts occasionally. The chill was a sharp contrast to the heat striking her face, sliding cold fingers up her spine while she let her face scald.

_June 26__th__ 851_

_Chikachironi and Albert were unfortunately killed. Incisions to the back of their necks in an attempt to test full brain regeneration theory were cause of dea—_

The words fell in charred strokes of flame and ink, paper crinkling in violent snaps and pops of the fire within the thin metal trash bin on the ground. She could only watch the flames swallow and chew, hissing and grunting with satisfaction as she dumped yet another journal within the greedy tongues of orange, red, and blue.

"_Your perspective is a good thing, Hanji." He had grinned at her. "It is necessary even after all this bloodshed."_

Another breeze gasped its way through the window, pulling at the thin curtains at the edge of its reach and giving the fire she had started more room to breathe and cough out soot and gray reject. Leaning her head forward, Hanji exhaled a deep sigh and pretended that the heat didn't hurt the insides of her nostrils and didn't stain the cheap bags within her chest called lungs.

All that mattered was watching the fire eat.

"Hungry, aren't you?" She chuckled mirthlessly. She had once asked that same exact question to one of the titans she had captured, she had been happy then. She had Erwin at her side then. Her hand reached aimlessly for her desk, fingers grabbing at yet another journal to dump its contents within the building fire. Somewhere in the front of her mind, she registered the sound of paper ripping, of the door sliding open… of footsteps rushing and hands pulling her away from the fire.

"Major Hanji!" She heard, and blinked blankly when she was met with Moblit's frightened gaze. "The hell are you thinking?!" He shouted before tossing her out of her chair toward the cot Eren had once occupied. In a blink, the officer was gone and her eyes followed him to see him stomp his boot through the bin's open mouth as he tugged his jacket off. He let out a few shouts she didn't quite register and moments later, two other soldiers were running in, one of them holding a large pitcher of water and dumping it over the flames and extinguishing their hunger.

_You're hungry… but I'm not your prey. You wretch. _Hanji thought. _You couldn't even fight back as they extinguished you. All you could do was scream and hiss. Pathetic._

"…Quickly, try to save as much as you can. You! Fetch me some of the laminates from the infirmary, and bring some of the disinfectant. Some of it is charred but I can probably save the information within…"

"Oh, let it go, Moblit." Hanji groaned loudly, gaining the attention of the men in front of her. Moblit's expression looked absolutely pained. Hanji shrugged. "The titan's are gone. Humanity is saved. Eren probably can't transform at all and nothing we'll get will be more than what we already know. Just let it fucking burn, who the hell cares."

Moblit looked as though she had kicked him, wounded, betrayed… it reminded her far too much of that cat… of that comrade… here was another she had allowed to be hurt and still she could do nothing. "Major…"

"I said, let it fucking BURN, MOBLIT!" She exploded, ripping herself off the cot to storm toward the rest of the documents, her arms swiping over the top of the desk with a violent crash. "There aren't any more of them out there! There's no reason to keep studying if there's nothing left to study! We're all okay now! We don't need this shit anymore!"

Hands gripped at her arms, pulling her away and forcing her against the nearest wall, yet despite all her shouts and cries, Hanji could do nothing except break.

"Why can't we just let it burn?" She wheezed, sobbing even while she felt Moblit's body press her firmly against him.

"Leave us be," Moblit ground out, grave.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes… I've got her."

A tense silence followed as Hanji wheezed and whined out sharp sobs against the lapels of her junior officer and after her knees gave a violent wobble, she allowed Moblit to escort her to the cot. For what felt like a short eternity, Hanji cried herself hoarse and still. It took several long moments of silence between her and the man who had followed her to hell and back before she gave him a short nod.

"I'm alright now, Moblit…" She sighed, rubbing at her eyes beneath her glasses, now fogged up and stained with the salt of her tears.

"You sure, Major?" He asked and she looked over his lap before placing a firm grasp against his forearm, gripping it warmly before letting go.

"Even after all this," She hummed, smiling thinly, "You're still at my side."

Moblit's other hand reached over to grasp the grip she had over his forearm, "I owe you my life, Major. That's a debt I could never repay."

Hanji chuckled, empty and weak, but made no move to shove him away, accepting his silent support even as he silently offered it. Slowly, she retracted her hand and he pulled away his, and they sat side-by-side in silence for a little while longer.

"We received a letter," Moblit said, after a few minutes, reaching into his jacket before pulling out a small envelope. Hanji smiled again, pleased to know Moblit was still the same man who got straight to business even after she would break down. "It's from one of the outside expeditions."

Outside expeditions? Hanji scowled, removing her glasses and wiping them clean, "Already?" She murmured. "I didn't think we'd get any intel for another two months."

Moblit let out a strained sigh, "That's the thing, Major…" he trailed off before handing her the correspondence. Once she had it, he motioned to the top left corner with a finger. "It's dated from three months ago."

Hanji's scowl turned grim as she turned it over, catching the seal of the Survey Corp and recognizing the stationary. "Why have you not given it to the Commander?" if Moblit caught the unusual use of Erwin's title he did not mention, choosing instead to move on.

"He was… preoccupied. I'm not sure if you knew but… three days ago the Military Police showed up."

"Right on schedule," she grumbled, jaw grinding as she tugged a finger under the edge of the letter before ripping the digit through the weak material. "Have they started harassing matchees already, or what?"

Moblit nodded, "Yes, and they been directing more of their efforts on the Commander himself. Arrogant as they are, they hardly let Keiji do his job in assisting Commander Erwin. I could hardly find time to take this to him. I figured you're the next best person."

Hanji let out a small nod and murmur, throwing the officer a quick smirk before pulling out the document within the envelope. "Let's see what our boys have found, yeah?" She announced, in an attempt to sound like her old self. The attempt while failing, was still appreciated by Moblit and at this moment… it seemed to be the only thing that counted.

As expected, Moblit kept his distance, waiting as he watched her eyes run past sentence and phrase, curling her eyebrows as she brought the letter closer. "Major…?" He asked and could feel a familiar dread build when her face paled.

In a swift movement and a sharp howl of the wind, Hanji slammed herself to her feet, pressing the paper close to her nose as she read and re-read the paper. Moblit gave a start, watching with surprise as she suddenly turned toward her desk and search frantically through what was left of her journals.

"Moblit!" She shouted and the man let out a yelp before rushing after her. "Where are Eren's results of the past experiment?!"

"The wha—?"

"His results! Where are the documents? I need Eren's information, NOW!"

"What is it?!" Moblit cried, alarmed and searching despite worrying over Hanji's sudden desire for the information. "What's wrong?"

"There is one more test we have to do," Hanji said, grabbing a journal and letting its pages flip rapidly as she thumbed through each article. "One more test—AHA!" She exploded, hands moving at the pages and pressing them firmly against the covers. Moblit stared, wide eyed and anticipating as she frowned once more before facing him with an all new determined expression.

"Get Eren." She commanded, eyes flashing seriously beneath the gleam of her glasses. "And pack a bag, Moblit. We're leaving to the Field Outpost in three days."

The brown haired officer gawked, surprised, "The Field Outpost, sir?"

Hanji turned back toward the papers in her hands, her eyes burning holes through the letter from the latest expedition, "I have a theory, Moblit, and I'm afraid it isn't a good one."

* * *

The sound of china shattering was followed by a bright cheer from the crowd wrapped in a circle. People applauded and laughed, clapping hands and shoulders as music exploded from the back of the dining hall. In the circle's center stood Armin and Krista, hand in hand and reaching down to pick up their first piece of broken porcelain.

"Count them!" Someone shouted and Krista let out a light laugh before Armin placed the shattered piece within a large burlap sack. The blond Lance Corporal sifted through the broken pieces before coming back up with a flushed grin, beaming as if he had been kissed for the first time.

"Fifteen!" He exclaimed and another shout rose from the crowd, people cheered and whooped when Armin placed the last piece of the shattered plate within the sack and place a happy kiss against Krista's grinning lips.

"Fifteen children, atta boy, Arlert!" Another soldier shouted and the laughter rose again, even more so when Krista shook her head no.

"Years of good marriage!" A woman soldier shouted in return, and Krista smiled gratefully at the alternative.

"Better break more plates, then, if she plans on being stingy with kids!" The men in the room shared a laugh, while all the women rolled their eyes. In the midst of all the chortles and good air, Armin turned a warm gaze to his bride-to-be.

"All I want is you at my side," He said, sweetly. "Kids or no, I want all your years and I'll give you all of mine."

The young blonde woman nodded, blue eyes crinkling with pure, unadulterated joy. "It's a deal, Arlert." She said and let out a squeal of happiness when he swooped down to sweep her off her feet, placing a passionate kiss to her lips.

The Poltrabend was in full swing. Days of planning and hours of pouring over details had left many exhausted and tense with anticipation for the incoming wedding, and with the arrival of the military police—the grand party could not have approached them at a better time. With warm wine, a fairly good band, and all manner of friends and good company around, the tensions tearing the castle apart were finally let loose through a positive outlet. Already, the couple could see, many of the guests were drinking their troubles away, letting go and swaying to the music around them.

A long line soon appeared behind the adoring couple and as they moved away, the sound of more plates shattering filled what space the air could provide. With each loud shatter, another peal of cheering would rise. Singing and dancing spread and when Armin and Krista looked up, they were pleased to see some of their friends already dancing in a spritely and whooping group.

"Armin!" Sasha exclaimed, waving her arm over as she was spun out of the hold of a soldier. "Come in and dance!"

The blond man let out a bright laugh when she was spun away by Jean's swooping grasp, the two spun in unison with the rest of the circle. "What do you say," Armin nudged, cheeks glowing with contentment as he gazed down at Krista. "You wanna dance?"

In response, his future wife shook her head, "My legs aren't what they were after I broke them. I don't think I can…"

"It's alright," He agreed gently. "We can dance to something slower after." Her hand squeezed his, grateful and warm.

It didn't take long before they found the rest of their squad, Eren was downing a large glass of wine while rolling his eyes to something Mikasa was saying. At her side, sat Captain Levi, looking at the spectacle with an exasperated look to his, otherwise, flat expression. Beside Eren, sat Connie—the poor bastard was still covering his face with humiliation.

"Armin!" Eren shouted, breaking through his sister's rant (God knows what she was mad about this time) and waving his best friend over jovially. At the mention of the groom's name, Mikasa perked up, turning away to face the incoming couple and giving them both a small smile. Levi, in turn, gave them both a usual nod and lifted a glass of white wine toward them. Connie, only looked up, alarmed before ducking his head away, pouting. "It's about damn time you finish thanking guests or whatever."

"Eren," Krista sighed, placing her hands on her hips, peeved. "Are you drunk already?"

The tan young man waved her off, before taking another deep swig. "I am merely enjoying the spread the occasion. Nothing wrong with that."

Armin shook his head, grinning before breaking away from his betrothed's side to yank the cup from the titan shifter's hand. "Go enjoy some food, before you drink any more, idiot." The blond man ordered, and pointed a finger toward the large table where all the meat and food was placed over. "Last thing I want is to deal with your ass dead-beat and hung over, especially after the event of two night's ago."

"For the last _time_," Eren groaned, rising to his feet and lifting his arms up in a frustrated wave. "I didn't _know_ she wasn't really a stripper! That was all Jean's fault!"

"Walk it off, Eren." Armin sighed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and leading him in the direction of the food. "And when you're done eating, you better give Historia a proper apology."

"Oh, shut up," Krista rolled her eyes. "Don't act as though you weren't hoping for strippers."

"I wasn't!" the man whined, but his expression was far too innocent for anyone to believe him. "I didn't expect it at all, promise!" Krista pointed a strict finger in the direction Eren had gone in, giving her fiancé a pointed look. With a long-suffering sigh, Armin nodded before walking away, grumbling, "Alright, alright, alright… Hey, Connie."

The short buzz cut jerked upright, stammering, "Oh-oh, H-hey, Arm! Nice…nice party…" he finished lamely before letting his face fall back against the wooden table, groaning miserably.

"Lighten up, Springer," Levi spoke up, placing his glass of wine back on the table after giving it a short taste. "You're dragging the joy out of the party."

"That reminds me," Krista hummed, placing a slender digit over her lip as she looked over the space and through the crowd. "Where is Li? I haven't seen her all night." At the sound of the woman's name Connie let out a low wail, groaning before tearing himself off his seat and dragging his feet down toward the food spread.

"What's gotten into him?" the Captain grunted, turning his arm to catch Mikasa's hand into his own. Krista smiled when the raven haired woman gave a small start in surprise, but made no move to pull away and settled her shoulder to press against his with a light smile of her own.

"Are you two enjoying the party?" Krista asked, beaming.

"It's nice, Historia." Mikasa said, nodding. "You and Armin have done a great job."

"I could do without the ear-shattering music, though," Levi responded, jerking a chin in the direction of the band. On cue, the crowd let out a wild whoop in beat with the current song playing, making the women laugh and Levi's expression to sour with light irritation. "Case and point." He grunted before taking his glass of wine and taking a deep swig, only to pull away with a disgusted look on his face.

"Sorry," the blonde woman giggled, "I can't change that. Why don't you try to join the dancing, Captain? I'm sure Mikasa would enjoy dancing a _Bandertanz_ with you."

"I don't dance." He placed his drink back on the table and settled on turning his attention back on the dancing ahead of him. The young woman to his right sighed before shaking her head.

"Don't mind him," She stated, nudging her lover with an elbow. "He's exactly the bitter old man we know and love him to be."

"Keep talking like that and I'll have to drag you off, cheeky brat." Levi shot back, but there was a twinge of a smirk on his lips and Mikasa gave his hand a firm squeeze.

Krista chuckled at their not so subtle exchange, "Well, try to stay for as long as you can. I'll ask the band to see if they can play something softer for our Captain." The jab was appreciated by Mikasa, earning the blonde bride-to-be a snort of laughter that made Levi roll his eyes.

A loud gale pressed against the windows, suddenly. The glass and window panes let out violent shudders that made several people exclaim and before long the music fell. Somewhere in the room, a window slammed open, letting in the chill and powerful wind in through the hot space of the crowded dining hall. It tore through clothes and torchlight, shoving past party members and hitting Krista square against her chest.

Hair whipping this way and that, the young woman let out a tight cry when—in the darkness—she tripped over something on the ground but let out a sharp grunt when strong arms caught her before she fell.

"Close the window!" Someone shouted.

"It's cold!"

"What happened to the lights?!"

"Ah, my drink!"

Were among the many cries echoing through the panicked hall, people moved this way and that until finally the wind died down enough for someone to slam the window shut. The sound of something shattering broke through the tumult and chaos and everything went deadly quiet. Fires were slowly relit over the torches of the room and objects and even a couple of tables were overturned, but no one dare speak above a murmur.

Blinking back a dazed expression, the young blonde woman looked up from her position and felt her cheeks color when she met the flat stare of her superior, Captain Levi. "C-Captain!"

"Are you alright, Reiss?" He asked, helping her up and straightening her to her feet. The young woman nodded, smiling gratefully at the slightly taller man. He gave her a short nod before peering over her head, one of his eyebrows arching curiously. At his side, Mikasa stood to look over her comrade and fellow soldier.

"You're not hurt, are you?" the taller woman asked, looking Krista over for any bruising or injuries. Krista nodded, a bit exasperated.

"I'm fine," she insisted before hearing Armin's voice through the low murmurs.

"Historia!" He appeared pushing through the arms of soldiers and followed by Eren, the titan's shifter's green eyes appearing sharper and sober despite his earlier drinking. "What happened, did one of the windows break?"

She shook her head, frowning and catching how Eren and Levi's expressions were directed in the opposite direction. "I'm not sure… why?"

"We heard something shatter," Eren replied, arms tense at his sides. "It happened after the lights went out." Soon after he spoke, Sasha appeared from behind a few bewildered soldiers, her face appeared anxious and even a bit grim.

"Armin, Historia…" Sasha said shakily, not bothering to grace anyone else with a glance or a nod. "You need to come see this."

Dread and a dark curiosity spread between the group before they began to move forward, pushing through the crowd and heading in the direction where everyone's attention was placed to. It took a short moment of weaving and dodging before they spotted Jean, his face was scowling when he met their gazes and was pushing through the crowd with them.

"Alright, everyone back up!" He shouted. Soldiers complied easily, moving away as Levi's squad arrived to the scene, but what they saw made several stomachs drop with dread. Krista let out a soft gasp, her hand lifting to her mouth, trembling when her eyes beheld the mess on the ground.

It was a long and oval mirror that had been settled by one of the windows, once wreathed with pretty bows and small flowers, yet now shattered all over the ground. Levi stepped forwards, squatting down to pick up a shard of the broken glass with an indecipherable expression. Glancing up, he met the gazes of every uneasy officer in the room before standing back up.

"Everyone here, calm your shit." He projected, letting a hand over his hip. "So a little bit of glass shattered, so what."

"But, Captain…" another soldier spoke up, before wincing beneath Levi's sharp glance. "It's bad luck, even worse when at a poltrabend. For every shard that has already been broken in china, the number of shards in glass multiply each year in bad."

"What matters is that no one got hurt," Levi barked, tossing the shard back on the ground where it clattered. "Now, stop being a group of frightened little shits, man the hell up and clean up this fucking mess. We've never had time in being superstitious and we sure as hell aren't about to start now. In the meanwhile, someone tell the band to play something for the bride and groom. Get some lively hood back in this graveyard of a party you people are turning it into."

Sure enough, hands began to pick up at the shards and not long after the band began to play a jovial tune that had everyone slowly return to the evening's festivities. In the midst, Levi moved passed people to approach the still stunned looking couple that were his subordinated, fixing them a firm stare and tilting his chin.

"Reiss, I suggest you take this next song with Arlert." Krista blinked up at him, looking strangely pale and worried.

"But…sir… the omen."

Levi let out a thin snort. "There is no omen," silence filled the space of the suddenly solemn group. Rolling his eyes, the short man snapped his fingers in front of them. "Quit it the hell out. It was a simple accident, there is no omen, no dark looming evil waiting to tear you down. Focus on your own and what you can manage. Don't make me start fucking dancing just to get you morons happy."

At this, Armin let out a soft chuckle before taking Krista's hand into his own. The others exchanged various glances of amusement and relief, before nodding. "Come on, Historia," Armin urged gently. "Let's share a dance and forget about this little incident."

Nodding faintly, the young woman allowed her future husband to lead her away before shooting her leader a small smile of appreciation. "Thank you, Captain."

Levi gave them both a curt nod before being tugged into the fray by a grinning Mikasa. "That was kind of you to do." She said into his ear, curling her arms around his neck.

"People shit themselves for no reason," He retorted. His lover sighed and pulled away before placing a soft kiss against his lips. When they parted, he shot a dark glance in the direction of the nearest duo of policemen. "Shame the mirror didn't land on them. I'm sure no one would've cared if that had happened."

"In an ideal world…" Mikasa trailed off, chuckling before leading Levi into one of the dances, much to her amusement and his chagrin.

And so the night continued in the progression of drinking and merrymaking, and hours later into the night, Armin and Krista were picking up the pieces of all the broken porcelain and plates into their burlap sack. With a shared ease, they cleaned up after all had gone to their rooms and in the dark of the night, they made their way back to their room—silently hoping that in the end their Captain was right.

* * *

_Funny turn of events, innit. Until next Monday! Review!_


	7. VI: The Ides of Fall

_A/N: I'm so sorry for the late post, everyone. I know I promised you all a chapter a week, but last week and this week have been extremely busy. Namely because two weeks ago, I've been subject to serious anon hate and death threats. I won't give you the nasty details, but it really messed with my mojo. NEVERTHELESS, I am strong! I am not going to bow down to a bunch of crap for brain toddlers and their intolerance of ship freedom. This story shall go on. And as a special bonus—This week will have TWO updates instead of one. That's right, chapter seven will be up this Thursday. Furthermore, I have decided to move the update day from Mondays to Thursdays. For many reasons. Thanks again for your kind words. I dedicate this chapter to all of you who helped me during this time and sent me wonderful messages. I love you all._

_Note for timeline: This chapter takes place the first couple of days of the week of the wedding._

_Disclaimer: I think we all know I don't own snk. There._

**This chapter's tracks are: Chaos is a Ladder by Ramin Djawadi, Snow Tales#1 by Clem Leek, Raein and Fok by Olafur Arnolds, A Bitter Truth by Lorne Balfe, Dinner and The Ship of Dreams by Max Richter, Decision by Ramin Djawadi**

* * *

**Nimbus**

**-: VI :-**

**The Ides of Fall**

_"Who is it in the press that calls on me? I hear a tongue shriller than all the music, Cry "Caesar!" Speak, Caesar is turn'd to hear." _

_Julius Caesar, Act I, scene II - William Shakespeare_

* * *

"HEAVE!"

Sharp wind shoved against uniforms and men alike, whipping against shoving bodies and making sights ahead hard to see. Hands gripped hard against wood as the men shoved and pushed with sharp cries and grunts of effort.

"Lieutenant!" Someone shouted from behind the damaged wooden structure. Lieutenant Keiji, gritted his teeth as he turned in the direction of the dark haired cadet shouting his name. The dirty blonde man looked absolutely miserably as he shoved along with his comrades, "Why can't we just take the thing apart before we take it inside?!"

"Idiot!" Another soldier with wildly wind thrashed brown hair exclaimed before Keiji could lay the insult himself. "With this wind there's no way we could take it apart, unless you want us to loose vital parts! Use your head, moron!"

"We push it inside!" Keiji shouted after, feeling the structure wobble and groan as the wind burst through and against it. Slowly, they progressed as the twenty or so soldiers heaved and shoved at the topped gazebo, many already lifting it to avoid any more damage to its paint and appearance. Keiji let out a sharp hiss, bitting down on his lip when he felt the wood send sharp splinters against his aching palms. With a fierce cry, the soldiers nearly stumbled when a particular strong gale struck them from the right, the Lieutenant shouting, "All together and on my command—HEAVE!"

In the days that followed the end of the Poltrabend, the anticipation had soured in small increments. Those who had been there when the mirror had shattered had found themselves stealing concerned and worried glances at, not just the blonde couple, but at the sky itself. It didn't help that the weather was casting dark vibes of eerie foreshadowing. Stormy overcasts and strong winds that tore and yanked in erratic waves approached much of the attitudes and left many feeling more or less uneasy.

Nevertheless, there were others who had only waved off such superstitious concerns with an uncaring shrug.

"You prissies need to take a moment to relax," Keiji had announced, that following Monday to a group of worried looking officers as they placed their maneuver gear in their place, just two days after the Poltrabend had concluded in it's somewhat dark tone. "So a mirror fell from the wall, big deal."

"But…Keiji…" One of the soldiers interjected, frowning. The Lieutenant made a big show of rolling his eyes.

"Give me a break," He grunted, "If you ninnies think this weather is odd, I can assure you that last year the exact same overcast hit during the beginning of fall. I can also assure you that it'll happen next year, and the year after that, and the year after that. No mirror shattering will affect the way the weather works, now get back to work."

It should've had put death to the subject. Certainly enough, most soldiers who had previous exchanged such sullen glances appeared more at ease at Keiji's words, recalling the same logic the Dragon Captain had announced the very night the mishap occurred. It certainly should have… until a short cadet burst in, black hair that had once been styled in bowl cut was skewed and whipped in awkward angles, grey eyes wide as he gasped in air.

"Alex?" One of the soldiers asked, the brunet scowling at his comrades appearance. "What's up man, you look like someone left you dangling on your gear outside." The rest of them men sans Keiji exchanged chuckles.

"Not now, Fitz." Alex said, waving his hand at the taller man before turning toward Keiji, looking rather winded. "Lieutenant, the gazebo…for the wedding…"

Keiji scowled as the young man fought to catch his breath. When no more answers came from the short man, the veteran turned to the boy, frowning fully, "What about it, cadet?"

"The wind…" Alex heaved, "One of the older trees by the woods snapped. It's been damaged by some flying branches, the Commander sent me to get you so we could try to salvage what we can!" Not even a moment before the cadet could finish and conversation leaped back into the dark topic of the curse and bad luck.

"No bad luck?" One of them snorted. "What'd'you call this then?"

"No doubt about it," another agreed, nodding. "It's the curse."

"Bless my boots by Maria's grace," Keiji groaned before turning a step to face the rest of the soldiers. Hands at his sides he fixed all of them a fierce stare, "Enough! I'll have no more talk of curses or witchcraft from you lot! Acting like a bunch of frightened old milk maids, honestly. Cadet Fitzwilliams, I want you to follow the other cadet with a group of men and head over to that gazebo immediately. Get that Gazebo inside. Senior Cadet Riech, I want you to get another group and start clearing the dining hall. Lucky for us the Gazebo is right by the large doors that lead to the outside."

With commands and uneasy expressions exchanged, the men filed out in organized lines, jogging out and moving with practiced efficiency. It took them something like half an hour to get things prepared and assigning who was doing what. It had been difficult—getting the damn branches off the wooden structure without the use of 3DMG, but Keiji was not risking lives or gas when the wind could pluck someone straight from the ground and off God-knows-where when one was merely standing against it.

By the time they managed to move it close enough to the castle, several more men that had been inside the large dining hall push the doors open and rushed out to help their comrades. Sure enough, the added strength was enough to hoist the wedding gazebo up into the air and, while it made shoving easier, it also made it harder due to the erratic shoves of wind.

Out of nowhere someone in the front let out an exclamation as they pushed the large thing, "Ditch ahead! Careful!" but the cry was swallowed up by the wind and before Keiji could register it, he felt his foot fall within a sudden hole in the ground. He collapsed, losing hold on his part of the structure and crying out when he felt his ankle give a nasty crack that was audible even through the fierce gusts.

"Lieutenant!" One of the cadets shouted. It was Alex, and the boy was pulling away from the group to reach him but Keiji stopped him with a shout.

"Get the damn thing inside!" the dark haired man shouted, grimacing as he crawled to the side to get out of the way, cradling his wounded ankle when he stopped. "Do it now!" He shouted again when the soldiers hesitated. Sure enough they did as they were told and Keiji watched as they were able to squeeze it through the door and safe within the confines of the Dining hall. As they worked, the soldier took a moment to give his leg a quick and thorough check. Already, his ankle was swelling against the tight material of his leather boot, feeling too hot despite the icy presses of the wind around them.

He attempted to move his foot and was able to wiggle his toes within his shoe and lift the limb gently despite the loud protest of the injured joint. It hurt like hell but it filled him with relief when he realized it was not a break.

After a short moment of waiting for the throbbing and ache in his leg to ebb, Keiji glanced up, taking a moment to behold the sight of the dark clouds moving above them rapidly at the wind's insistence. A sudden blip of green amongst the gloom and curl of the sky and against the castle top, Keiji blinked in surprise, squinting and lifting a hand to shield his eyes against the wind.

It was no blip of green…

"What the hell…?" He muttered to himself, trying to make out the sight on the spire of the castle above the dining hall.

"Lieutenant Keiji!" he heard and Keiji tore his gaze away to see a small group of men rush to his aid. "Are you alright?"

"Fine!" the dark haired man responded, rubbing the area over his eyes as the pain in his ankle seemed to have migrated to his head. "It's just a sprain, I'll be fine." A few of the men knelt and helped him up, moving quickly through the space as they attempted to move against the gales and shoves of air.

When Keiji glanced back up in the direction of the strange sight, he scowled. It had gone.

_I could've sworn…that someone was up there._ He thought to himself before they finally retreated within the dining hall and out of the wind's angry howls. Shaking his head, the tall man quickly tossed the idea out of his head—deciding that it must have been a trick cast over his eyes from the pain, exhaustion and the unforgiving tosses of nature.

* * *

It was mid-morning when Eren heard the door of Hanji's study being slammed open. The sound was enough to rip him straight from his bed, gasping and reaching for his shirt in a fit of half-asleep panic. Blinking through the cobwebs of sleep and trying to make sense as to why the same scientist he was borrowing a bed from was scrambling around and muttering to herself in excited spews of incoherent phrases.

"H-Hanji…" He mumbled, struggling to face her clearly whilst stifling a yawn and untangling his legs from his sheets. "What the hell…?"

"Rise and shine, Eren," Hanji exclaimed from behind the foot of his bed, reappearing to toss a discarded pillow over to his head. He ducked, squinting with bewilderment and turned to voice his question again, but was interrupted when his pants were thrown at his face. Tugging the coarse fabric off his nose, Eren vaguely realized the woman was chatting away, speaking at a million miles a minute and not sparing him a glance when he frowned.

"…And so, we're going to the Field Outpost. Make sure you've got everything you need for the week because we won't be back until Saturday."

"And…" Eren spoke through another jaw cracking yawn, stumbling off his bed when his foot got caught in a sheet. Straightening, he rubbed at the back of his neck, running fingers through the bed mat that was his long hair, as he watched Hanji move over to her desk and shove journals and papers into a thin suitcase she had yanked from under his bed. "Why can't we leave later…? It's Monday morning, Hanji. I spent nearly all day yesterday cleaning the courtyard. I'm exhausted."

"You can sleep when we get there, Eren," Hanji shot over her shoulder, sweeping an arm through her desk and dumping the contents messily into case before snapping it shut. "But we have to leave now. I don't want Military Police jackassery when there's theories that need testing."

Eren let out a thin snort through his nose that sounded and awful lot like a groan, not liking the reminder of the castle's latest visitors.

The past weekend should have been a festive affair. It was customary for the days that followed the Poltrabend for everyone to bestow gifts (usually of the embarrassing category) to the future Mr. and Mrs. Armin Arlert. But tensions have hit new peaks when the MP's made it a clear point to stick their obnoxious noses in the business of the wedding and the relationships still newly formed by the Mandate. Already several fights had been broken up between Survey Corp soldiers and the Policemen, and it did not good to see so many people forced under their supervision.

"It's bad enough we have to deal with the mandate forcing us to take to marriage with strangers," Dieter had exclaimed in the middle of dinner, that past Saturday night. "But dealing with the pigs breathing down our necks? This is bullshit!"

Several cries of agreement had exploded not long after the angry soldier's exclamation. "Does the government not trust its own soldiers to follow mandates to grant us some peace?!" another soldier had cried, making many more stand on their feet as they shouted their indignity. Things only got worse when the MP's attempted their idea of crowd control.

"Are you questioning the commands of the monarchy, Survey Corp pigeon?!"

Emphasis on 'attempted'.

"Maybe I am, Military Swine! You pigs are so fattened up you wouldn't be able to withstand a second outside the walls, and yet here you are treating the actual soldiers as if you could do better than we can!" Dieter had growled, ignoring the hands pressed on his shoulders from his other comrades.

Eren could only feel the rage bubble in his chest when that same Military Policeman scoffed, turning his nose up at the men simmering and just barely holding back from lunging at their oppressors. "Hear that boys?" The policeman snickered, jerking his chin to his other colleagues. "This little birdy wants to have a go at us."

"Watch it, pig!" Another soldier snarled, lifting raised fists in a fit of aggravation. A loud wave of livid growls and violence rose from the epicenter of the conflict, spreading thick fingers of bloodlust through the chest of every soldier in the room. The air had tightened like a string that was strung too taut, irritation and feelings of injustice crackled through the air, enunciating like the string's whines of stress and discord.

Glancing at his left, Eren noticed the rapt and sharp attention rendering his friends silent. Where smiles and teasing had wrinkled Armin and Krista's eyes, there was now a simple and blistering appraisal piercing through their blue gazes toward the direction of the discussion. Krista's knife was gripped in her hand, steady and prepared for the worst. Armin had placed a hand over her arm but the way his eyes flashed when the Military Policemen let out snide chortles, Eren realized the Lance Corporal's hold was not a reprimanding "_don't_", rather it was a silent "_not yet."_

Similarly, Jean and Sasha were watching with familiar rage, although, Sasha was keeping a firm grasp on her boyfriend's shoulder, softly stroking in soothing patterns to keep him in check. Connie kept his eyes firmly on his plate, fists clenching just below his food while Li flicked her eyes from the discussion toward Eren—not worried, but anxious, as if curious to see how he would react to the obvious attack to their comrades.

Eren slowly shook his head, keeping his hands out of sight more as a safety precaution than anything else. He didn't know whether or not he could transform… but this was certainly not the time to check.

"You pieces of Survey Crap need to get your heads out of your merchant pampered asses and start seeing the bigger picture," the same soldier drawled, crossing his arms and puffing his chest out arrogantly. "This is for the sake of humanity, not for your own personal problems. Got that, chump? We're here to make sure you people don't step out of line, and we're not afraid to exercise our own military discretion."

There was a surge of movement that was felt by every soldier in that room, tugging at everyone and making them lean toward the center and Eren could clearly see Dieter making a lunge for the man sneering down at him. For a hot moment, Eren desperately wished to see the dirty blond man land a punch against the Military Policeman's jaw, not realizing his hand was also grabbing to the knife on his plate when he saw the same murderous intent burn through Dieter's opponent's eyes.

"Enough," the command was low and monotonous, but it had rung through the space with the resonance of someone beating a great drum. The tension shifted, and through the space between people, Eren clearly saw the sudden appearance of his Captain, arms crossed and stance lax despite the dangerous gleam in his eye.

At his side stood Mikasa, eyes hooded with dark disposition and lips covered by the familiar drag of a crimson scarf. Levi's narrow eyes seemed to glow a vibrant steel beneath torchlight, masking his face with an expression of such violent boredom it made them all take a step back. The Dragon lifted his head and appraised the men around him, as if considering their value as his next prey. Eren felt his knife-laden hand slacken with surprise and even some sick satisfaction—it was the same look Levi had given him once upon a time in the Military Court. He had almost shit himself then, and given the added terror of Mikasa at his superior's side—Eren was almost certain that their combined forces would be enough to send a violent loss of bowel control from the Military Police.

"Go back to your posts, pigs." Levi announced, blinking lazily at them while Mikasa gave them all a piercing glare. "I'm about to enjoy a meal with my future wife and I will not have your _sitzpinklering_ ruin a perfectly good evening."

The man had the hilarious misfortune to bark out a short laugh, "And who are you to tell me what to do, short route?"

From his distance, Eren was able to see Mikasa's arms flex and body shift into a stance that reminded him of a coiling panther, her eyes widening with the familiar focus he had seen when she was more than ready to rip her enemies to shred. Levi rose a brow and Eren nearly jumped from his seat to get a better look—and he had a feeling nearly everyone wanted to do the same.

Before anyone could see the Pigs get roasted by the Dragon, one of the men behind the obnoxious moron placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back with an expression of registered fright. "Hold on, man. Let's just lay off…"

"Why?" The obnoxious one snorted. Eren shook his head. "All this runt needs is the taste of my boot—"

"Oh?" Levi voiced in the familiar icy tone that sent shivers through everyone's spines, his eyes darkening with dark intent. The reasonable fellow gripped his comrade's shoulder tighter, paling.

"I don't think you get it, man," The reasonably one hissed. "Seriously. This is _the _Captain Levi. The Dragon of the Survey Corp and Humanity's Strongest and at his side…? That's Mikasa Ackerman, the Woman worth One Hundred Soldiers. As much as I would like to see them kick your ass into the next decade, we should just back off for now."

"Dragon, am I?" Levi spoke, earning him a few flinches from the policemen in front of him (and from everyone else who knew what this discovery has revealed). The following sight was enough to send frigid fear and apprehension in everyone's chests. A wide smirk slowly pulled over the corners of the Captain's lips—the equivalent of a Dragon rearing on its full height and letting out a pleased growl—before he tilted his chin up, gazing at the men through half-lidded eyes. "I won't bother mentioning, then, how a pig can have no quarrel with a dragon."

"What'd you say?" Obnoxious snapped, only to be pulled back by his pals.

"Quiet," Levi ordered, narrowing his gaze before blinking his attention toward everyone else. "Everyone here, sit the hell down and finish your meals. We'll not be having any fights here tonight. If I see any more squabbling, I won't hesitate to snuff it _out_. Back to your posts, pigs. We'll be sure to call you if we find a nice filthy mud hole for you to roll around in."

Snickers erupting through the dining hall, the Military Policemen backed off. Glaring hatefully at the leering gazes around them, they retreated to their spots around the room. Dieter and his group exchanged victorious glances before being turned to by the Captain, "Picking fights when your ribs are still healing, Dieter?"

"N-no—I mean," said man sputtered, blushing embarrassedly. Levi gave him a long pointed look.

"Do as you're told and we will have no issues. For now, just put up with their presence and try not to bloody your fists unnecessarily. Am I being perfectly clear?"

"Y-yes, sir…" the blond soldier nodded, looking thoroughly reprimanded.

The entire encounter, while amusing and successful in stopping a riot that would've gotten out of hand, ended up causing more tensions between soldiers and policemen. Since then, people were better behaved (especially whenever Levi and/or Mikasa were around) but glances exchanged with thick with poison and thinly veiled loathing. Whenever the policemen were given the chance to exercise what power they had, it was with great and sick enjoyment—but this was only true to the higher ups.

Some of the newer recruits—and it was somewhat surprising that Eren could tell so easily—weren't so bad, and even expressed some disappointment when their superiors abused their power. It was a constant struggle, Eren realized, that was spread not just to them exactly. Even MP's were human… even they looked haunted by the laws they had to follow.

_We all share this burden… but even after the Titans are gone… we're still completely divided. _

On the other hand… Levi seemed to have grabbed on to his nickname with an unexpected vigor and seemed to have grown fiercer when dealing out demands and chores (much to everyone's chagrin—and that only seemed to direct more irritated glares at the MP's—and even Mikasa appeared to look mildly exasperated to how he took to the name).

Shoving his legs through the sleeves of his pants, Eren rubbed his eyes and pushed himself off his cot while Hanji disappeared under his bed again. She appeared shortly after, yanking a large and empty trunk and dropped it on the messy mattress. After a moment of watching her, the young titan-shifter seemed to realize something she had mentioned earlier, pushing the last of his sleep-addled brain into a more alert state.

"Wait—we're leaving now? And for a whole week?"

Hanji didn't seem to have heard him save the mindless hand wave she threw at him while she settled on stuffing his belongings into the trunk.

"Hanji!" Eren exclaimed, feeling more anxious than he had before. The bespectacled woman whirled around, looking frustrated and glancing over her desk with searching fingers.

"Yes, Eren! We're leaving for the week, now finish packing. I have to get a document signed and the second I do, I would like to head straight to the wagon and leave."

"But, Hanji, I can't!" Eren protested, reaching over to pull his shirt over his head and nearly tripping over the sheets that fell on the ground. "I'm Armin's best man. I can't miss the wedding!"

"Oh, relax!" Hanji sighed loudly, her eyes brightening when she appeared to have found the paper she had been searching for. "We'll be back in time for the wedding, and even have enough time to spare to get you all dolled up. Don't make me repeat myself, you hear? I'll see you in twenty minutes, downstairs. Moblit should be getting the horses and rest of my squad ready with the equipment, so head to the side entrance."

Not entirely settled, Eren watched the woman run out the door, paper in hand and with a determined look on her face. Sighing, he turned back to the trunk where his things were dumped in with unceremonious decorum.

"She didn't even fold them…" He grumbled, and with a final heaving breath settled on fixing his things for the unexpected departure.

* * *

How was it…that the sight of a stupid door could make one feel like caving into tears and panic? Hanji knew. Because it's not the door. It's not the wood, or the hinges, it's not its size or berth…it was precisely what it kept hidden—what it refused to reveal.

On the way to Erwin's office, Hanji had kept her mind firmly away from her previous encounter with the Aryan Commander. Focusing on the document in her hand and the letters in her pocket, she rehearsed and went over every word she would relay to the man, deciding how to explain her situation, get the permission, and leave without unnecessary confrontations.

She didn't think he would.

Then again… he probably might.

Stifling a shuddering breath, Hanji gave Keiji a short nod as she approached the office, carefully ignoring the stationed MP's and their curious leers. Keiji stood and followed her with a slight limp to the door, thankfully keeping his gaze anywhere else but on her and without a word of greeting, he lifted a hand and knocked on Erwin's door.

"Commander, Major Hanji is here to speak with you." Keiji announced.

"…Let her in." The sound of his voice sent a tumultuous jolt through her center, making a strange stutter form within her stomach and chest. Keiji opened the door and Hanji firmly steeled herself, setting her jaw and squaring her shoulders.

Through the space in between, their eyes met. Blue on brown and bereft of all affection that had once been shared without a care. Hanji stepped in, boots striking the floor in easy steps and she saw him straighten in his chair. With a few glances to the side, she was relieved to note that the room was vacant save him. _Less ears to listen in on. _

"Close the door, Keiji," Erwin ordered, eyes blinking and betraying no emotion. "Let no one disturb us."

The door swung close, playing a small breeze against the back of her neck and Hanji fought off the urge to shiver. Already, the slow seeping fingers of autumn were pressing through the cracks and thin spaces of their castle. It was an undertone, a press of ice beneath the cool of their feet, the warmth of their chests. She didn't know whether it helped or whether it made her feel worse, but Hanji did not let this deter her from the greater picture at hand.

Wordlessly, she marched forward, reminding herself to loosen her hold on the documents in her hands. All too soon, she was standing before his desk, keeping her gaze on the papers and evaluations and orders from the higher ups on his desk, rather than the searching gleam in his eye, the flash of pain and necessity for forgiveness.

"I have a permission document I would like you to sign," Hanji said, clearing her throat after her throat squeezed the words out in a hoarse scratch. Leaning over she pressed the papers on his desk and retracted her hand quickly—not wanting the risk of him reaching for her fingers, not wanting to be reminded of the warmth only he could provide.

Erwin said nothing as he looked over the papers, broad fingers lifting the documents up and closer for his eyes to scan over. Hanji forced herself silent, damning the urge to fidget and settled on lacing her fingers behind her back in an 'at ease' stance.

"Request for Travel to the Field Outpost," He read aloud. "New information has come to light in which a final experiment is felt to be needed concerning the abilities of the Corps' very own soldier, Eren Jaeger…" Blue eyes blinked the fullness of their azure, reminding her of ice and frigid winter skies, and lifted to meet hers—professional, business-like, and holding not even a single hint of love or devotion.

"What information is this?" He asked. Hanji nodded and pulled the letters from within her breast pocket before settling them in his extending hand.

"This information arrived last week," the red-haired woman explained, "from one of the outside expeditions."

A twitch and a startled flash passed through his eyes before his hands were pulling away paper and pulling out the letter, the symbol of the Corp followed by the number of the expedition was enough to prove this was no folly, this was no fake.

Another silence reigned strong between them, air pushed and pulled through lungs in almost inaudible bursts—as if their bodies could do nothing more than to succumb to this new gravity.

"This cannot be," Erwin shook his head, eyebrows furrowing slightly. "This letter has been dated to three months ago. Each expedition has been reported to turn in new data by this month."

Hanji swallowed slowly, "Erwin… look at the back."

The paper let out a soft crinkle as he turned it over, and his eyes caught the last script behind it. Blue eyes hardening, he pressed the document back on his desk and slowly pressed his fingers to curl by his lips.

"Did you know who the head of this expedition was?" Hanji inquired.

"Yes," Erwin sighed. "I had personally handpicked the men to go on this mission."

Brown eyes crinkled with loss and she lowered her chin, "These are hard news, I understand, but we must consider the implications."

A deep scowl marred the corners of his lips as a deep and troubled sigh pushed from his lips, leaning back, Erwin rubbed at his eyes. "How have we not come to know this before? Why did it take this long?"

"There is no way of knowing, Erwin. But I fear that this could mean the danger to all other expeditions. It's a miracle we got this intel in the first place." She moved, crossing her arms to rest over her chest, eyebrows furrowing. "This attack on our expedition is unlike previous attacks."

"Are you implying not all Titans have been exterminated?" The question was met with a purse of her lips.

"I'm not sure," she said honestly, "Like I said, this attack is unlike the ones we've had before. For one, the soldier who wrote this said this was done in the cover of night. We know Titans had been unable and inactive at night, due to their biology and use of sunlight. However, the rate the deaths were done…the sound of rumblings… there is not enough data and I'm afraid that if this information can be trusted then all the other expeditions are in danger—if they aren't already."

The sound of his chair scraping against the ground alerted her. Erwin stood and made his way to look out his window, looking over the soldiers marching to and from destinations with purpose. It was under the light of early morning that Hanji could openly witness the way his shoulders seem to slump with added weight, the way the rays of the sun bounced off his hair and curling a golden halo over his head. "If that is the case," he said, "Then this visit by our Military Police is not as innocent as it appears."

Hanji scowled, mulling his words over before her eyes widened, "Wait… you don't mean that this attack has been commanded by the very monarchy itself, do you?"

"Like you said," Erwin muttered again, sending a narrow glance to the door of the office. "We do not have enough data to confirm. Take Eren, conduct your experiments. If he is unable to transform, then we'll have our answer then."

"That's assuming his powers are dependent on Titan existence," she interjected, "consider it done. I'll send a message back later this week. Hopefully by the time we return we'll have something more concrete."

With a nod, Erwin turned back to face her. Hanji pressed her fist back to her chest and gave him a firm salute, pointedly looking away when his eyes crinkled painfully. "I take my leave now."

"Wait…" He called, taking a few steps around his desk to approach her, his eyes honing down over hers as he neared. "When will you return?"

"We'll be back in time for the wedding," Hanji announced, already feeling the anxiety of wanting to leave quickly spur a tingling in her legs. "It was Eren's only condition to his willingness."

The blond man lowered his chin once in a slow nod, as if thinking what else to say. Hanji felt her heart begin to speed up, making the blood rush in uncomfortable speeds through her chest and drain the heat from her fingers. He was too close… he was much too close…

From the edge of her peripheral vision, Hanji saw him move, extending his hand toward hers and gently curl a few fingers around her palm—warmth spun and swirled under her skin from where he touched her, causing the air to hitch in her throat and her body to unconsciously lean closer. Their fingers pressed closer, less timid and with the need to feel again.

"Ride safely," His voice came out in a soft murmur, and her eyes were trapped within the raging blue that was his essence. "Hanji…" he breathed, making her chest clench and flutter like a bird struggling from the hold of its cage—wanting desperately to burst through and fly. The butterfly touch of his fingers grazed under her jaw, tilting it up and she could feel his breath on her lips. Warm, inviting, needing.

_Don't. This man hurt you. He lied to you._

Their lips brushed, feeling but not pressing and his nose found its spot by hers, breathing in and exhaling a measure of peace that she felt complete her.

_He lied. He used you. He was selfish. _

She leaned up, her eyes sliding close as she took in the way his lips melted against her lower one. Before she could fully register, her hands were lifting to press strong against the back of his neck and pulling him closer to her mouth.

_He lied to you. _

Strong hands gripped to her waist and she let out a soft moan through her mouth as he angled his chin to fully capture her tongue with his.

_He does not belong to you. He's been matched. He will never be yours. _

The sound of their lips parting and pressing sang tragic ballads in her ears, making her want to make him hers. Hanji idly wondered if, just if, everything was different, if this kiss between them would be within a church, with flowers wreathed in her hair and twined in his pocket.

A knock sounded through the room—like the sound of battle drums and incoming death. It was enough to rip the drunken high from behind her eyes, shoving sobriety through her teeth and reminding her that his kisses could not be hers and it made her feel so bitter. Shoving herself away, Hanji let out shuddered cry that came out small and tiny through her lips, "No…!"

"Hanji, wait, I…" He frantically muttered, reaching back for her but she was already pushing him away, turning around to avoid seeing that treacherous look of desire and pain in his eye.

"I don't want to hear it," She ground out through clenched teeth.

The knock sounded again, "Commander Erwin!" but it was as if they were pulled away, far away from the office and the poundings of wood and shouts for Erwin's attention. When she turned back to face him, he looked so empty, so desperate and wounded it only served as further acid to her already bleeding heart.

Gasping, she squared her shoulders again and swallowed back the last sweetness of his kiss to the black hole in her gut. "Don't ever touch me again, Erwin." Turning away, Hanji began to march off, holding back the wave of agony that came with ripping herself from him.

"Hanji, please, don't—" He exclaimed, forgetting himself as he rushed and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her close just as the door slammed open.

Startled, the two of them sprang apart as far as they could without arousing suspicion, eyes jumping from each other to the newest addition to the tension in the room. Butter yellow eyes blinked in surprise at the two of them, large and strange over the severe looking face of the Military Policewoman standing through the threshold. Behind her stood Keiji, looking terribly anxious as he looked from the woman to the two former lovers in the room, blinking apologetically to his superior.

"What's going on here?" the woman narrowed her eyes, shattering the silence and making a strange dread fill the inside of Hanji's chest.

"Major Harke," Erwin greeted, voice hardened and exposing an obvious distaste for the policewoman. "I do not recall giving you permission to barge into my office while in the middle of a discussion with my subordinate."

Harke raised a thin brow, the skin of her forehead wrinkling before becoming taut again when she fixed them a suspicious glare. Hanji vaguely wondered how much tighter the bun on the woman's head had to pull at her scalp so severely.

"I have a matter of urgency to address with you, Commander," Major Harke quipped, crossing her arms as she threw Hanji a couple of calculating glances. A sudden lift in the corner of her lips made her look lethal, absolutely villainous and it made the scientist wish she had some kind of sharp object in her hands. "Unless, of course, you would like some more privacy."

"That would be unnecessary," Hanji intervened, hardening her voice. "Since our discussion has been concluded. Commander," the auburn haired woman turned and lifted a fist to her chest in a final salute before turning on her heel and marching her way out. Harke's catlike gaze followed her, drilling holes into the back of her skull with something like dark glee.

The door slammed shut the moment Hanji stepped out, and the sound echoed along with the memory of Erwin's abrupt kiss despite how quickly she moved and how much she attempted to return to normal. It didn't seem to stop echoing until long after she had mounted her horse and, ignoring Eren's curious glances and Moblit's concerned stare, the squad rode out of the castle.

* * *

"Major Hanji Zoë…" Harke's voice grated into his ears as he moved back around his desk to sit within his chair. When he met the woman's gaze, she looked like she had stumbled into a secret she was not supposed to be privy to—and it seemed to fill her with some kind of sick satisfaction. In all honesty, it made the distaste he harbored for the woman strengthen. "She's barren, correct?"

"That does not concern you, Major," Erwin grunted, subtly pushing a few papers over the letter Hanji had left him. "What is it that is so urgent you had to barge into my office?"

Footsteps alerted him to her incoming approach, only instead of standing before his desk as was proper and done by all men and women of lower rank, she moved to a nearby chair. Blue eyes turned icy when he saw her pull at the chair and let the legs scrape against the wood of his floor before situating herself ahead of him.

"My men have made several discoveries, Commander," She began, taking a seat despite the lack of invitation. "Several discoveries that are honestly lifting a lot of concern with my superiors."

"Humor me." He drawled, not bothering to dabble in niceties with a woman who deserved none. The Major fixed him an amused leer before lifting a hand to pluck at invisible lint on her jacket.

"We've made several assessments in the past few days we have been here. Are you aware, for instance, how more than sixty percent of your men are still unmatched?"

"The deadline they gave us was the first week of winter," Erwin replied, "I will not push my men to do something they are still against."

"Wrong!" She snapped, straightening in her seat to turn a sharp glare into his eyes, "That is exactly what you _should_ be doing, Commander."

"Careful, Major." He growled, "I have been tolerant of many of your attitudes in the past, but remember I have lines I let no one cross. You are still several ranks and pay grades beneath the right to speak to me that way."

Major Harke waved a flippant hand over her lapels, "I do not speak for myself, Commander. I am simply relaying the information I received from my superior. The Courtsmen are not happy with the current numbers. Deadlines are not extensions of time—rather, they are given to instill the knowledge of punishment if they are not met."

Erwin pressed a tense hand against his desk, stifling the urge to find reason to throttle the woman sitting ahead of him. "If you want an answer to their message, tell the men of the Court that if they want results—I will ensure them. However, I will not risk the loyalty of my men to satisfy numbers. That is all."

Sparks flew from Azure orbs to burn into the smug butter yellow of Major Harke's. The woman waited a moment, watching him with an inexpressible emotion before rising from her seat, "I hope you're right, and not just for the sake of your men."

Nodding, she whirled around, her footsteps crashing against the wood as she click-clacked toward the door, "Enjoy the rest of your day, Commander." She shot over her shoulder, "However, do not forget that the Military Police has been charged with ensuring such results are given—it would be such a shame if I were to send a report that demonstrated you are less than capable of committing such a promise."

"I assure you," Erwin hissed, "I am."

"We'll see about that," She said with a final smile that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. "Won't we."

A sharp wind rose outside the windows, rattling the glass against the window panes before it died back down, casting him in yet another silence that hung heavier in the air. Erwin did not usually dabble in absolutes. Claiming they were lackluster and permitted no opportunity for expansion in intellect and cause—but he could easily say that he hated that woman. He was no fool. He caught the implication she had left behind.

It had been just as he had predicted.

They suspected him. No doubt they were probably ensuring that the letters were real, and going over the evidence that had declared him an innocent man. Even now, he didn't doubt that they would be approaching Commander Pixis, to review past alibis and ensure their stories were concrete and steel. Even now, Erwin was not worried about that aspect of their situation. Pixis had secured him foolproof support in the final days of the trials. He doubted there had been anything they had missed when building the evidence against Nile Dawke.

Glancing back over his desk, he let out a slow breath before reaching toward the drawer that hid a simple golden envelope.

"_The Commander instructed me to deliver this," Rico had said the moment Keiji had shut the door, casting the matched couple in their first privacy. Pulling the document from her jacket, she placed it within his reaching grasp. "He specifically expressed that you do not open it until… the time was right." _

Looking at the packet, Erwin let his fingers work over the thin string holding it shut, feeling its roughness through his fingers. Was the time right?

Erwin knew that was not the case. He knew exactly what Pixis meant with his message, knew that with the opening of this information that their plan would commence, and while Erwin desperately wanted to initiate this plan—he knew there were still many cards that needed gathering before they put their efforts into play.

In this point of the game, they were not fully prepared. The visit to Nile Dawke's cell was a step, a simple assessment of the situation in the capitol.

"_The nobility suspect nothing,_" He had written to Pixis in careful encryption upon his return. _"Nile is still considered a lunatic among the allies of the crown."_

"_Appearances should never be trusted," _Pixis had returned. _"I suspect a move on their part. Be wary, Commander. Winter is almost upon us. I hope you are prepared for it." _

With each press of wind against his windows, the reminder was further strengthened in his mind. Winter was certainly almost upon them.

"_I am prepared for it."_

"_I do not doubt your mind. But is your heart ready?"_

Fingers pinched at the bridge of his nose, squeezing pressure points in an attempt to quell the incoming aches that rose from his latest encounter. He could still feel the press of Hanji's lips upon his own, his mind spinning with the force his heart had overwhelmed it with—it was unintended. He didn't mean to steal a kiss from her lips. Erwin knew that he had to keep his distance, had to stay firmly put and away from Hanji because of this ordeal.

But seeing her, so close. Hearing her speak, even the very soft fragrance of her skin and the feel of her flesh against his fingers… He hadn't realized exactly what it meant for her, but to him—it was nothing short of liberation when their lips met again after such a time being pulled away. Nearly three whole weeks without her at his side, waking to emptiness and the cold of his room had left his chest feeling decayed and hollow.

Erwin had allowed his senses, his desire and need for her forgiveness and her presence that he had acted without control and judging by Major Harke's words… he was certain that he had exposed a weakness he didn't have the luxury of sporting.

And on top of all this… The men he had sent out to claim land and explore outside the walls were in danger. Whether by an outside force or by their own government, he was still uncertain. But if his own suspicions were correct then this would mean that their enemies were moving ahead of schedule.

Grabbing a piece of paper and a pencil, Erwin set to work, scribbling furiously. Reading over his script, he quickly folded the letter before hiding it in his jacket pocket before rising from his desk and walking towards the door.

"Keiji," Erwin ordered as he stepped out. The officer glanced up from his desk by the edge of the hall. "I'm taking a short walk, if anyone must come see me tell them I will return in an hour."

"Yes, sir."

One thing was certain, he needed fresh air. He needed to clear his mind away from Hanji, clear his mind from the threats looming over their heads and reinstating his power back over his side of the chessboard. He couldn't think if his lips were still tingling, still stained with the taste of her and the way she had gazed at him through the haze of love and lust.

For a while, Erwin let his feet carry him through the halls he had considered a home in his younger years. His eyes drank in the sights of his men completing drills and taking time to write to their families. The sounds of life within the castle were a welcome ruckus, helping him remember that these men had placed their allegiance to him because he had been willing to make the ultimate call.

He had lead them to hell and back, and while many died—those who survived were true and excellent soldiers. Men and women who demonstrated a rare character he could only find within the curious, the angry, and the defiant. He watched as many placed their fists against their chests when he passed, greeting him with a warmth he could feel lighten the load that had anchored his heart to his feet.

For several minutes he had spoken to his men, asked how their day had been and saw with clarity the way the mandate _still_ weighed on them. It wasn't surprising. Time may bring consolation, but a few months weren't enough to soften the blow of liberty lost. Nevertheless, what he saw in their eyes was not dejection or acceptance—many still looked into his eyes with the same flaming devotion that he had received when he had called upon them to join the Survey Corp.

Those flames were still going and going strong.

The smell of flowers wafted to his nose as the Commander took a step down a corner, vaguely realizing he was close to the inside gardens. Following the scents and smells, it didn't take him long before he was looking inside the abundance of flora and exotic plant life. He recalled the moment he had agreed and accepted many of these blooms to cradle the space of this large room. He remembered when he had ordered to cave the roof and install glass windows to let in the natural light of day.

"_Flowers are necessary, Lieutenant." _He had told Keiji when the officer looked at the many arrangements with a dubious look. _"Each color and scent are special to our men and women. Necessary in aiding the recovery of war. Beauty, I have found, is a useful weapon against sadness._"

Even two years later… Erwin was pleased to see that he had been proven correct in this aspect. Already he could feel the therapeutic aromas pull him in, beckoning him to lay down his burdens and to rest, but the weight against his jacket sobered him from taking any further steps in—that is, until a flash of silver against color caught his eye.

Curious, the broad man stepped in, stretching his head to peer over a large pot of Calla Lilies before letting out a soft gasp.

Sitting on a bench and drenched in sunlight was the short frame of the silver haired Garrison Squad Leader, leaning against a spruce sapling (that would soon be needing replanting in a more spacious area) and writing over the closed cover of a book on several pieces of paper. Some of the papers were bent over the volume, exposing curling swoops of script and words he could not make from this distance. Rico paused as she wrote, before lifting a knuckle and nudging it against the leg of her glasses, pushing the spectacles higher over the curve of her thin nose.

_What luck…_ He thought before moving closer, hoping his footsteps would alert her of his presence. They didn't. Instead, she continued to write, seemingly oblivious to his presence and as he neared, he saw how her lips would open and close, as if muttering to herself quietly.

Erwin cleared his throat softly, hoping it would do the trick. Still, Rico didn't hear or acknowledge him and when he debated sitting down next to her or leaving she spoke abruptly, "Sit, and give me a little moment. I'll get to you."

Surprised, the broad man did not object before obeying, more out of shock than knowing. Silently, he waited, letting his eyes take in the sight of the halo of white and silver over her head, the way her eyes focused on the words she was scribbling with intense focus. It was almost mesmerizing…

Her eyes flashed up to his, eyebrows curling upward in anticipation when he let out a short grunt through his lips. Clearing his throat again, Erwin gave her a short nod, "Hello."

"Hello," she repeated, before going back to her writing. For a moment, Erwin thought that was the extent of their conversation as they drifted into a strange silence. Leaning his elbows on his knees he looked away, leaving her to her work as he gazed over the many types of flowers and blooms, registering their perfume with a soft wrinkle of his nose.

Several minutes of silence passed between them and Erwin let his eyes close, allowing himself to disconnect from the rest of the world, if only for a short while. Gratefully, he mulled over the way Rico sat at his side, at ease and without the same edge that they had experienced during their first few meetings.

It was a slow process between them, but little by little, during their talks and their conversations, Erwin had found an unlikely camaraderie in her. While words exchanged were short and far in between, the silences that they shared were not all that bad. This being one of them. Awkward they may have been, but as he got to know her, he realized she was not at all like he had feared she would be.

She had even surprised him, reminding him an awful lot of Levi when the Military Police first showed up. Rico had bared her teeth and spoken with a fierce zeal that he couldn't help but stand back and watch. It only occurred to him that things would've gotten out of hand if he didn't stop her while she was ahead that he had called her name and stopped her from lunging at the Military Policewoman's throat.

In an ideal world, Erwin would have let her.

But then again… in an ideal world, Hanji would be the one sitting at his side for imminent marriage. Regardless of his growing esteem for Rico.

There were many things Erwin had disagreed with their government over the years, and while this mandate was harsh and even cruel, from a logical standpoint it made perfect sense. Even if they were to demolish the current government, would they be able to remove the necessary evil that kept Humanity from being unleashed to chaos?

"You're awfully quiet," Rico's soft voice broke through the spiraling thoughts in his head, forcing his eyes open to look at her. She had straightened in her chair, her writing and book placed to the side as she beheld the sight around them.

"It's been a…difficult day." He admitted.

"Already?" She mused, "It's barely noon…"

A soft chuckle erupted from his throat, humorless, "It is rare for me to have good days."

Another slow silence slinked right in, but it was considerably more comfortable than the last. A cool breeze blew from one of the open windows above, bringing relief of the growing heat of the room.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Rico invited and he turned blue eyes over to her profile, she appeared as she usually did, but he could tell how her fingers fidgeted that she was uncertain in asking. Her lips hid behind her lips to expose a firm line. Erwin noted that she was probably asking him to speak, more out of courtesy than actual curiosity. It had been stated in their document that they needed to learn to confide in each other, to speak as openly about their current situations in order to establish more connections. Even so, Erwin appreciated her offer.

"One of my squads… from the expeditions we have commanded outside the walls," He began after ensuring they were out of earshot from the soldiers wandering outside. "I received information that many of them have gone missing or died."

Rico stiffened visibly, fingers stopping in their gentle rapping and holding awfully still. She spoke softly, "I'm sorry. That must be quite difficult."

He nodded, letting his eyes fall to follow the lines of the cobblestone path build into the ground. "It is. Many of those men were good men, strong men and women who I had fought with during the war. Even so, I cannot expose this failure to the Court until the Military Police have left." At this point, the words were falling faster than he had hoped to stop them. "On top of this, much of the soldiers here are being constantly under threat the more time they spend in filling in their Survey Documents. I cannot hope to tell them to push them when they've already been pushed enough."

"You don't want to risk losing their loyalty." Rico summarized and the relief that filled him when he felt she understood almost rendered him mute.

"Precisely. Like I said… it's been a difficult day."

Silence found them once more upon his final revelation. Several minutes passed and Erwin thought that Rico would say nothing and while much of her silence was appreciated… he found himself wishing for Hanji to be with him, found himself aching for how she had always found the right words to ease him.

"Strength cannot be found in books," Rico said. Erwin frowned as he pulled his gaze from the cobblestone to look at her. Her eyes were on the top of a vine that clung to the walls in the direction of the sky windows. "Nor can it be found anywhere else. People can't give you strength, otherwise that strength will leave you when they die. Books cannot give you strength, because you'll forget it when the words are burned and you have nothing. If you're looking for strength, Erwin, look inside. We are all born here with just enough to outlive pages and even others. But strength, true strength… it's not like rocks or even rivers.

"Rocks are broken down, rivers dry up. If you're looking for strength, Commander, look to the sun."

"And if I'm blinded?"

Rico let out a short chuckle, "Even blind men can feel the sun."

Her words left him stunned and even astonished. Eyes wide, he didn't realize he was staring at her until she glanced at him and looked away quickly, cheeks reddening beneath the rims of her glasses. Before he realized, a small smile of his own rose over his lips, small but genuine.

"I admit, when I first received the file with your name, I had been worried. But you've really allowed me to see I worried for nothing. You are quite the remarkable woman, Rico." He chortled gently.

The blush in her cheeks brightened and she fixed her eyes on the ground, stammering out a small, "Th-thank you, sir…"

"Erwin," He corrected her, turning his smile over to her gratefully. "Erwin is fine."

She gave him a slow nod, "Thank you…Erwin. And I feel the same… you are a good man."

Blinking away from her gaze for a moment, the light sensation in his chest froze. Through the flowers and the space that led toward one of the back entrances, Erwin's eyes caught the presence of Major Harke, yellow eyes watching curiously as he spoke with his match. Averting his gaze before arousing attention, Erwin remembered when that hateful woman had burst in on him and Hanji—and the idea of being discovered by her left him dreading what information would be sent over to the courts.

He could not afford them using Hanji against him.

He had no choice but to lead them astray…

Turning back over to Rico, the woman was reaching back to grab her pencil. Squaring his shoulders, the Commander considered all the possibilities, knowing that if there was a chance to gain some control in his favor… it would be now.

"Rico…" Lifting a hand, Erwin let his fingers curl over Rico's palm. The silver haired woman gave a start with surprise, turning big grey eyes up to look at him, inquisitively. He let his body shift slightly, looking into her eyes with an undeniable intensity. Breath caught in her throat, Rico's cheeks flushed a darker shade and her hand suddenly squeezed tight around his fingers. She didn't move away, captured by the tension he weaved between them. _I'm sorry. _

"Wha-what are you doing?" She breathed as he leaned closer, swallowing when he rose his other hand to cradle her jaw.

"I'm grateful," He murmured softly. "That I've been paired up with such a remarkable woman, such as yourself." He was just an inch away, feeling the way the air that burst from her lips shuddered against his. Gently, Rico's eyes fluttered close, the warmth of her cheeks mixing within his palm as she tilted her chin upward. _I'm sorry… Hanji. _

When their lips met, it was soft. The scent of flowers mixed with the scent of her breath, fresh and even soothing, but when she angled her chin further into him, he could feel a fierce shove of guilt tear itself into his chest. Because, strangely enough and despite the fact he was kissing a woman whom he didn't love, there wasn't a sense of wrong that came with feeling her press her hands against his shirt. It felt natural, even… and God hate him… it even felt… alright.

Erwin didn't realize what would have been worse, kissing Rico and feeling more like the scum he knew he was for betraying Hanji… or kissing Rico and feeling like he was being accepted within an embrace when he had been tossed on the street to die.

Either way, when they pulled away, (Rico returned to her writing, softly stammering out an incoherent phrase, and Erwin had been unable to loosen the smile growing over his treacherous lips), Major Harke was already walking away.

"I must get going," Erwin said after another moment of silence and saw how she nodded at him almost nervously. Plucking at a nearby violet stem, Erwin pulled the letter he had written from his pocket and left it on the bench between them before laying the violets on its surface. "Thank you again, Rico."

And feeling thoroughly disgusted and torn with himself, Erwin stood and left. Little did he know, that she lifted his token to her nose and inhaled its soft scent before pressing it within a page in her book and smiled softly.

Knowing even less how she proceeded to write in her letter.

_I am doing well here, Commander. The men have been welcoming and even kind… The Commander, even more so. If you recall correctly, sir, I once deemed love as a foolish emotion. Deemed it ridiculous and solely for children… but now…think…I may have judged too quickly and too brashly concerning the matters of the heart. _

_You were right, sir. A little perspective changes things quite a lot._

* * *

"How has your day been?"

"Fine… it's been fine…"

Levi said nothing else as he lowered his tea cup and turned his gaze from the woman sitting across from him. Mikasa let out a soft sigh, feeling crestfallen and strangely wired, as if her nerves were more frayed than she had previously thought. It was no surprise… with such little sleep she had been able to enjoy with her fiancé…it was surprising she wasn't falling asleep already. Lifting a slice of beef to her lips, the young Oriental attempted to return to the spirit of their usual shared lunch times.

It was routine. It was established and it was usual…only… it had changed. The air between them lacked its usual comfort and ease, drowning her in what felt like a strained silence that she couldn't recall ever sharing with Levi. Glancing her dark eyes back toward his sitting figure, she hoped he would turn to look at her, send her the familiar small smiles he saved just for her and effortlessly make her feel like everything was going to be all right. He didn't, keeping his gaze over the slow swaying trees of the woods to their left.

"Just…fine?" Mikasa tried again, hoping he would catch her concern, catch the reason why she had insisted they dine alone and somewhere quieter and less cooped up. The memory of this morning's wake=up call tugged at the back of her eyes, bringing out the dark semi circles under his and making him appear…distant. Cold.

She had woken to Levi shooting off the bed with a strangled cry that sounded like a mix between a frustrated roar and a despairing sob, shaking, sweating, and grabbing at the knife he kept under the mattress. It took most of the following hour to get him to calm down, to release the knife he had stabbed against his chair and to bring some kind of lucidity back in his eyes. When he did and his ragged panting had been slowed down, he slowly collapsed to his knees, bringing her down with him. Mikasa held on to him in the middle of the floor, desperately trying to keep from crying when all Levi could do was grip to her waist and back, softly repeating, "Just stay. Just stay. I'll be fine. Just stay."

"I'm not going anywhere," She had insisted, gripping to his frame as hard as she could until he nodded and slowly pushed her away. In the dim of the lamp light and dawn haze, Mikasa lifting his face with her hands to look at her, searching his exhausted and dark rimmed gaze with a necessity to understand, to know what was plaguing him so, "Levi, please. Talk to me. What's happening?"

And yet, despite the soft tears that fell from her worried onyx eyes, he would only shake his head and run his fingers through the ink of her hair, "It's nothing. Just a dream."

"No, it's not." Mikasa returned, fingers clenching into fists when he pulled away and began to tug on his boots, still fighting off tremors. "I'm tired of you hiding this from me, why won't you talk to me?"

"There's nothing to talk about," He dodged, standing up and shrugging on his jacket. "They're just nightmares, Mikasa. We've seen more than enough to have our fill."

He walked away after that, leaving her to return back to his—their—bed and fight off the urge to scream and cry with the extreme frustration running rampant through her heart and fingertips.

"Levi…" Mikasa spoke after a cool breeze turned bitingly cold against their flesh for a second. The breeze died, their hair and clothing returning to their respective place and yet, he refused to look up at her.

"Hn." He responded, lifting his cup of tea back and taking a slow drink.

She hesitated, wondering how to start before letting her eyes fall shut. "I want to know about your nightmares." The sound of him adjusting in his seat sent a wave of anxiety through her stomach, making her feel nauseous and emotional. _Don't go. _

"I've already told you," He sighed. Mikasa opened her eyes and saw him leaning back on his chair, his eyes far away and distant. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is." She snapped, feeling her patience wearing thin. She had always hated it when he pulled the superior attitude on her, and right now, she was feeling it like a thorn on her side. "You haven't had a good night's sleep in over a week. You've been more distant and you keep pushing me away when the reason I agreed to marry you is because we treat each other better than this. "

Levi's eyes narrowed as he reached back and placed his cup on the table, resting his elbows on his knees he blinked up at her with something akin to incredulity, "Distant?" He repeated.

Mikasa bristled, "Yes. Distant. You've been behaving this way and it's because you're exhausted. Hell, I'm exhausted. But, I'm more tired of you keeping whatever's haunting you away from me."

"It's not your burden to bear, Mikasa," He replied curtly. "I have this under control."

"Do you?" She challenged, leaning forward to meet his gaze evenly. "Because this isn't getting better, Levi. It's getting worse. Please, just… talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind! We used to be able to talk to each other about these things without this sort of tension! I'm worried about you."

He looked away again, and each moment he kept his eyes away was another thorn wedging itself in her heart. "The nightmares are nothing, Mikasa. Trust me on this."

She didn't buy it. Scowling, she crossed her arms, "Is this because of what happened between you and the Commander?"

Shoulders stiffening, Levi averted his gaze back to the tree line, "My conversation with Erwin has nothing to do with this."

"You're lying," She stated and he looked back at her with surprise. "I know you are. So, it is what you spoke about with him."

Levi's narrow eyes hardened into steel, "No, it isn't."

"If it isn't, then why is this so hard for you to talk about then?" Mikasa insisted, not realizing her breathing had shortened into short gasps of building anger. "All I ask is so that you can be honest with me!"

"Mikasa," Levi barked, making her give a sharp start away from him. "Watch yourself. You may be my future wife, but you are still my subordinate. My conversation with Erwin is none of your business, nor shall it be. These past few nights have been because of late stressors. There is no underlying reason. In our line of duty, we are forced to take upon certain weights and burdens for the sake of the cause. If I am ordered to keep things out of your knowledge I will do so without a second thought, but in no way will I accept you questioning me or my judgment just because of a few nights of rotten sleep, am I understood?"

The nausea strengthened, drugging her with a violent desire to kick something and Mikasa found herself craving the simple action of tossing her drink at his pristine cravat. She would not lie to herself now, his comment had wounded her, made her feel like she had stepped out of bounds but also dejected with the knowledge that despite their affections—he was right. He was her superior officer and as such, she had to respect him.

But it didn't mean she would not be able to enact her own sense of power over him. He may be above her in rank, but in this relationship they were equals. She would not hesitate to remind him that.

"…Understood, _sir_." Mikasa replied, hissing through her teeth. Slamming her utensils down on the table, she stood up and placed her fist against her chest in a grudging salute—more as an act of defiance than one of reverence. "If you'll excuse me, I have duties to attend to."

Levi seemed to realize the full extent of his blunder, noticing the angry pain that pulsed in her eyes and made her hiss venom in his direction. "Wait… Mikasa, don't…"

"Good day, Captain." She bade and with a firm click of her heels, turned and stormed off.

"Mikasa, wait!" He called, but she paid him no more attention as she focused on reigning the stinging prickle growing behind her eyes and making her feel unusually more vulnerable. _Damn him. _She cursed in her mind, willing herself to keep from crying.

Nauseous, irritable and wanting nothing more than to rip something in half, Mikasa left Levi to his own thoughts, ignoring the way he sighed and hoped he was berating himself for using his rank like that against her.

Watching her storm off was enough to make the taste of his tea become bitter, danker than the flavor he had preferred and after adding yet another spoon of sugar, Levi found himself completely unsatisfied with the end result, and it came by no surprise.

Cursing under his breath, the short Captain tossed the small teaspoon against the table and lifted that same hand to squeeze at the juncture of his nose and eyebrows. He had gone too far, he knew that. He knew he had crossed an unspoken line that they had both drawn the day that followed their established relationship. Both knew that there would be certain boundaries that needed to be crossed in slow passes, and while they both enjoyed and teased each other relentlessly on their age gap—it was a definite berth that needed healthy bridging.

It had been this gap that had originally pushed him to mind his distance from her, to keep from approaching her with anything more than a subtle curiosity. While the military considered her to be well enough responsible to command her own choices and how to sacrifice her life for humanity's cause, those first couple of years between them, Levi had spent watching her with the firm eye of a mentor, a teacher.

He had seen her potential, knew that her power and her approach to the murder of Titans was not unlike his own. In short, he saw much of himself in her almond shaped eyes. If he were to die, he needed to know that there would be someone out there that would be able to pick up after him and lead the rest of the soldiers onward.

Still, she had been so young—her maturity proved that when she clung to foolish grudges in the past. But she had grown and she accepted his command and put things aside because she understood.

The more they spoke, the more he realized how much she understood and how much she was willing to understand… and it was enough to enrapture him to her soul almost immediately after they fell to live under the same roof. He saw no child when he looked into her eyes, but despite this, he had dared not push her into something she would not be prepared to handle. Even when she had come, pleading into his eyes for resolution—for a chance to prove that she was not a child and could handle his burdens along with him—he had to push her away.

He regretted it, and the decision nearly destroyed them—but even though they finally accepted the promptings of fate, it did not mean there wasn't anything left to work on.

Mikasa understood this, accepted it when he had mentioned to postpone their wedding, so that these bridges could be completely established before they took their vows. God forbid they rush into a marriage that would collapse due to weak foundations.

Levi may know her well enough as a partner, a comrade and teammate, but they didn't know each other as a couple. They needed this time. They knew these arguments would happen… he knew that things would be said that would cause hardship… but this…

This was different.

This wasn't a secret he _wanted_ to keep from her. Each time he had burst from the violent images of gore and of her body being torn apart for the sake of information, he had wanted to tell her—to warn her and keep her alert to the possibility of this probable interrogation. Yet, Erwin's words stopped him every time, held his tongue from letting loose and spilling his every worry and concern and bring his own closure to fruition. _If she knows… then she could be placed into further danger. No. It is best if she remains in the dark about this. Mikasa is strong, Levi… but even the strongest can shatter when the right pressure point is pressed. Would you be able to risk them finding out her pressure point? Would you risk her safety for the sake of temporary relief?_

How cruel. He finally had her. Finally, he was able to keep her to himself, to love and cherish her as openly as he had wished all those nights spent in isolation… and now he had to push her away to keep her safe.

"_She'll understand when all this is done." _Erwin had said, days ago, after Levi came in, angry and exhausted, wanting nothing more than to have some peace. _"Be patient. I know this is hard. Just be patient._"

But now… because he had tried to shove her worries away, he had said things he shouldn't have, had crossed one of the lines she had meticulously worked out with him when they had their first lunch together as a couple.

"_I understand you are busy and you are still my commanding officer," Mikasa said, playing with a fraying string from her scarf. "But if we are to work together… I need to know we'll be able to work as equals. I need to trust you with knowing that you won't disregard me when we need each other."_

"_You know I will always place you first…Mikasa," He had replied. "But, we are soldiers. There may be times when I will not be able to tell you everything—will you accept that?"_

"_Yes. Will you?" _

"…_Yes."_

The memory of her smiling radiantly after he had agreed served as nothing more than a punch to his gut as he sat there, glaring a teacup.

"Shit." He cursed again and with a soft groan, stood up and left their uneaten meals to try to find a way to clear his head.

It was several hours into the day that Levi attempted to conclude his duties, and with his mood completely soured, dished out commands and orders without remorse or care for other soldiers. The men took to his demands easily, not wanting to cause further damage to his already crumbling good grace. He looked over inspections and when he had called his team for evaluations, he had found with profound chagrin that most of them were already quite aware of the quarrel he had shared with Mikasa earlier in the day.

It was mostly obvious, because for one, Mikasa had downright refused to show up to their meeting, and for another, he was still scowling like he had failed to kill a Titan or botched up a cleaning.

"I've talked to Erwin," Levi grunted after the individual evaluations of his team were all placed out of the way. "It appears it will take some time for some of your promotions to go through, but he expects that you should all be receiving your new ranks and positions sometime in the next two weeks."

Of all the people to speak up, Armin had to lift his hand warily—as if realizing that Eren's absence constituted him as the next best candidate to ask about him and Mikasa's current situation. Little bugger.

"Armin, we've been through this," Levi chewed out, frowning, "You don't actually have to raise your hand for a turn to speak."

"Ah, yes, sir. Sorry, Captain," Armin stammered out, cheeks flushing lightly before taking a sideways glance to his fiancé. Krista only bit her lip and glanced away, looking uncertain. "Well…uh…will…Mikasa not be joining us for the rest of this meeting?"

"No." Levi snapped and almost regretted how they all flinched and looked away. A short moment of tense silence followed before Sasha rose her hand. "Just speak up, Sasha. I'm not a goddamned school teacher."

Sasha squeaked before clearing her throat, "Did you two… fight or something… Captain…?"

Jean face-palmed, while the rest of the crew sans Mikasa and Eren openly gawked at Sasha and her absurdly ill-timed question.

"That's none of your business, Braus." Levi ground out through a tense jaw, "Let that be the last time you meddle in something that doesn't concern you."

Flushing pink, she let out a nervous gulp and nodded before turning her attention back down to the table.

"Would that be all?" Levi asked, turning narrow eyes over his subordinates with mock interest. No one else spoke up and with a firm nod he finished, "Good. Now that this conversation is no longer settled in my business, we can continue into actual relevant shit."

Dinner didn't get any better. He had hoped that with the remainder of the day, Mikasa would finally tolerate their previous spat and sit by his side for the last meal—he had even planned out an elaborate apology that ended with him actually saying the words "I screwed up, I'm sorry." Which was saying something because it wasn't often he admitted to a mistake like that—let alone apologize for it.

But he would do it because he loved her, and because he knew that when he had dabbled in matters of pride, he had almost lost her completely. No… Levi decided, he would not let that happen again.

When dinner time rolled in and the dining hall filled up with soldiers and staff people conversing about the day's events and even the last brawl between an MP and a Sergeant Major. Levi did not express much care for the news, shrugging it off when it concerned another squad and men he had no command over. He had grabbed his meal and sat down in his usual spot, spinning a small daisy he had plucked from the gardens between his fingers and keeping an eye out for his girlfriend.

Minutes passed, then an hour… then two. Mikasa had not appeared for dinner and at that point the flower's stem had been squeezed and stretched past recovery. Scowling and feeling worse than he had before, Levi stood from his table and tossed his hardly touched meal away. He marched back to his room, half-expecting her to be there waiting for him, hopefully willing to listen.

Instead, he found his room empty and lacking the warmth of her presence. A strong pang of isolation filled him to the brim, making the guilt and frustration do battle under the apple of his throat. Swallowing thickly, Levi shut his door and let his feet sound the echoes of his determination through the emptying hallways.

It was almost lights' out and it was not his night to do rounds, therefore he wanted nothing to do with other soldiers until he managed to get this matter sorted. It took him some time to recall the route to her room, they hadn't gone there more than once or twice since their engagement and it irked him to realize he had gotten lost the first time around. Luckily, he was able to situate himself enough to locate the proper direction. In the dark and dimly lit hallway, he stood before her door, scowling and breathing like he had ran the way there. His heart had been pounding mercilessly against his chest the second he recognized her door, remembered their first night together and how it had been behind this door.

He rose a hand to knock before noticing something off. Pausing, he listened and proceeded to feel like his heart had grabbed hold of a knife and cut a hole through his chest.

Through the door, he could hear her crying, soft sobs coming out muffled through the wood of her door and the guilt was quickly spun into wild astonishment. Dropping his hand, Levi gripped the handle and gave it a slow twist—thanking his stars that it was unlocked—and pushed the door in.

Door swinging inward, Levi let his eyes adjust to the darkness of her room, catching her hitching breaths and sniffles clearer now that there was no barrier between them. God, he felt wretched.

"Mikasa…?" He called softly and her cries abruptly stopped.

"Go away, Levi." She moaned, voice breaking on the last syllable of his name with another sob. That didn't deter him in the slightest. Closing the door behind him, he saw her shadowed frame curl tighter around the slim cushion of her pillow, laying in nothing but her nightshirt and pants. He took several soft steps closer before reaching her bed, feeling his heart pulse needles into his bloodstream the more she shook and trembled.

"Hey," He whispered, easing himself down to sit at her side. "Come on, hey."

"I said, go away." She shuddered, voice coming out slurred and mumbled through the fabric of her pillow and her own sorrow. "I don't want to talk to you."

"I thought you had wanted to talk."

"Oh, _now_ you do?" She shot back, sarcastic and bitter. "What a relief. Someone call his Majesty's court and issue a holiday for such a rare occasion."

Levi fought the urge to roll his eyes and retort something equally acerbic, recognizing she was now snide and snappish more out of a defense than to offend him. He had had enough years of banter experience with her to know this now. Still…he hadn't thought she would be so wounded by his insensitivity that it would make her cry. This…he hadn't been prepared for, nor was he entirely experienced with it either. He could only call to mention a few times she had cried in front of him, all of which he could count on one hand and still have fingers left over.

"Mikasa…" He sighed, leaning over to caress a lock of dark hair that had fallen over her eyes. "I'm sorry…"

The apology felt hard coming up but when it escaped past his lips, made him feel lighter, softer toward her still weeping form. It appeared that she hadn't expected this from him as much as he hadn't expected this from her. Her sniffling slowed and he felt her move around before he heard the sound of tissue paper being pulled from a box, followed by the sound of her blowing her nose. Cringing, he waited and let his hand fall back to his lap as she turned more toward him.

Eyes adjusting, he was able to finally catch some of her expression in the dark. She looked up at him with a mixture of confusion and something else he couldn't identify. Finally, she whispered, "Really?"

"Really," He promised and saw her hand begin to search for his. Their fingers curled around each other in a familiar hold that warmed the gaping hole that this fight had left in him. "I shouldn't have overstepped my boundaries. You were right… these damn nightmares and lack of sleep have turned me into less than tolerable… more so than usual."

He waited for her to reply with something snarky or darkly amusing, as she usually did, but instead he felt her run her thumb over the flat of his hand slowly. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

Air blew from his lips slowly and with excruciating inner turmoil, "…I…can't. Not yet."

"Why not?" It wasn't a demand, but an honest and genuine question of curiosity, no doubt stained with her pain.

"It has to do with a decision, and I can't tell you or the rest of the squad about it until enough time has passed. My nightmares… they're of my old squad." He took in a deep breath, debating but finally deciding. "…Of Petra." _And of you…_

In the dark he could hear her breathing, hear how she swallowed back the information he finally gave her and he hoped that this would be enough to satisfy her, that it would be enough to keep her from asking more questions.

"You miss them." It was no question. Levi let his chin fall to his chest, hair dangling past his forehead and obscure what little vision he had.

"Yes."

"You miss…her?" it was almost surprising how he caught the little waver in her throat, the little apprehension and uncertainty that drew concerned touches that he felt deep within the caresses of her thumb and her soft shifts on the bed.

"Yes…but I love you." He replied, and pushed forward to find the frame of her face with his other hand. He had found her shoulder instead and his grip was intercepted by her other hand, letting their fingers drift through digits and palms before finding wrists, forearms, shoulders and finally the crook of necks and curves of jaw lines. "I love you. Only you."

"I know…" She replied and he felt her fingers run over where his lips had creased in the ghost of a smile. "I love you, too."

"Good," He exhaled through his nose, leaning his cheek against her palm and let the hand he had pressed around the nook of her neck to press its warmth firmly against his lips, locating the soft spot of her wrist and pressing a kiss to its gentle thrumming. "I'm glad you do."

Mikasa shifted again, letting go of his other hand and retracting her circulating thumb to dig an elbow into her mattress and sit up. To his relief, it was a signal to the end of her questions and the beginning of a kiss that filled him with relief and a joy that had her name written into its skin. Their lips meeting, Levi brought himself closer to her frame and pressed the hand he had cradled around hers to the back of her head.

For a moment, the sound of their lips meeting again and again through the brief gasps of their breaths played music into his ears. He could taste the salt of her tears on her lips, feel the warmth behind her lips from the force of her emotional outlet and let his fingers erase the trails of sorrow that had marred her perfect cheeks. In this kiss, he could feel her acceptance of his apology and it ignited a familiar flame within his veins. Slowly, they fell back on her pillows and exchanged long and passion filled kisses and nuzzles that made him crave her again.

His hands roamed the familiar curves of her sides, finding easily the hem of her night shirt and soon the flesh hidden beneath. Usually, she would have aided him in its removal but her lips were suddenly pulling away and her eyes were fixing him a stern gaze that made him cease.

"Not tonight, Levi." Mikasa stated, firm and unyielding. Disappointment took like a dousing in his skin, yanking his stomach to plummet to the ground.

"Oh, come on," He groaned, trying his best to not appear like he was whining like a whipped pup. "Really?"

"I accept your apology," She said, "But I'm still mad at you for breaking one of your promises."

"Mikasa…" He didn't bother attempt hiding the whiny undertone in his voice now. That last kiss had left him all kinds of hot and bothered and he wanted nothing more than to make things right with his beloved. Mikasa did not back down, pressing a finger to his lips and meeting his gaze in the dark without a hint of weakness. "Oh, alright…" He sighed deeply, "Have it your way."

She smiled again and pressed a final kiss to his lips before he was pulling away and standing up from her bed. "Where do you think you're going?" She asked, as if she were speaking to a child. Levi frowned, easing back down on her bed, confused.

"My room. You don't want to do it right…?"

"No. But I didn't give you permission to leave," she huffed and he would've taken irritation to her tone if not for the relief still spinning him lightheaded. Her hand moved to pat the space next to her on the bed, "Bed time, future husband, and let that be the end of it."

Stifling a grin, Levi rolled his eyes and began to tug his jacket and clothes off, save his undershirt and boxers, all the while grumbling to himself good-naturedly. "Fine, fine," He muttered as he slid in next to her and was welcomed into her embrace. "I'll have you know that this is a clear abuse of your power over me."

"Keep talking like that and I'll decide to stay mad for the rest of the week, am I understood, Captain?"

"…Yes, ma'am."

"That's, 'yes, lieutenant,' and get your hands off my boobs, soldier. Don't get fresh with me or I'll kick you out."

"…Yes, lieutenant."

He would not admit it to anyone else, but there was a part of him that thoroughly enjoyed how she took charge and Levi made a mental note to save pushing her buttons for the special occasions that were sure to rise in the future that awaited them in marriage.

* * *

_TBC _

_Next chapter will be up this Thursday! Please review!_


	8. VII: What Winds May Come

_A/N: I know I promised a chapter on Thursday, but life (as it would happen) made writing a bit hard. I was also struggling with a bit of writer's block, but rest assured, I've managed to not just write this chapter, but I'm also rather close to finishing the next chapter as well. As for the most recent plot twist that happened in SnK—I'm not worried. In fact… it gives me a fantastic idea to incorporate that information into Nimbus. Heheheheh (SO, if in the end our ship is doomed to sink in canon, at least this will feel close enough to personal headcanons to be a relief to look back and enjoy.) _

_I had to cut this chapter into two since it was kicking at 30k. So two chapters today! Yaaay…_

_Disclaimer: I don't own SnK—but I might as well take a grab at it since I think we all agree we've no idea what Isayama's doing with it. _

**This track's inspired tracks are: 'Ambre' by Nils Frahm, 'Morgenrot' by Hauschka, and 'Dedication, Loyalty', by Nils Frahm**

* * *

**Nimbus**

**-: VII :-**

**What Winds May Come**

_"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, like wind extinguishes candles and fans fires." _

_- Francois de la Rochefoucauld_

* * *

Blue eyes fretted over the ruined paint and wood in front of her while she worried her teeth over the curve of her thumbnail. Krista let out a soft groan, frowning when she saw Jean throw his arms in the air when the soldier he was talking to answered him in the negative. A few more words were exchanged between the soldiers that she didn't catch before Jean let out a loud huff and walked away toward the worrying bride. Krista removed her thumb from her mouth, knowing full well how Jean would slap her fingers out from her teeth, growling, _"Quit that. You need your fingers for your wedding."_

"What'd he say?" Krista asked, pressing the hand she had been chewing on to her chest, chewing on her lip instead. Jean sighed, frowning before turning and standing at her side, looking back toward the damaged gazebo and the soldiers still trying to fix it.

"Apparently, he thinks he's some kind of expert or something," Jean grumbled, rolling his eyes with great display of mock seriousness. "But he says that they can try to restore it back to its former glory without much problem."

"…But…?"

Jean sighed, "But it won't be perfectly ready until next week."

Krista let out a despairing groan, lifting her hand to press over her face. A pair of hands slowly gripped to her shoulders gently as Jean pulled her under his arm. "Hey, come on," He hummed, "don't worry, it'll still work out. So we postpone a few days."

"We can't postpone, Jean," Krista sighed heavily, letting her head lean over his shoulder. "Armin and I have been looking forward to this for weeks! I mean, I know, granted, we don't wait as much as other couple have before getting married… but we also have several members of the court showing up for the wedding. I don't know about you but I don't want to have to go through the trouble of writing them that we're postponing. The last thing I want to do is deal with these people more than I ought to."

"You're quite the people person," Jean snickered. "Hard to believe you used to be such a doll."

Krista rolled her eyes before elbowing him in the side, "I'm still a doll, thank you very much."

"A total doll. The very best doll," the tall soldier chuckled before lifting a hand to ruffle her hair with an affectionate grin. Krista smiled a short smile before letting out another long sigh and pulling away from her friend's comforting hold.

"Can't they just… build a new one?"

"It took them nearly two weeks to build this one, Historia." Jean shook his head, letting his hands fall back on his hips. "We're just going to have to hope they can fix it up well enough for the wedding." Turning his amber eyes to her face, he pursed his lips worriedly when he caught the depressed expression lower her lashes and steal the smile she should be wearing.

"It's going to be alright," He soothed. "Don't let it get you down, kay?"

She blinked back up at him, offering a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Do you think they can have it ready in four days…?"

"I'm sure it'll look a lot better in four days," Jean nodded and they looked back over to the men working on the gazebo. Their expressions fell when a large piece of plywood let out a large groan before snapping and falling down. Laughing nervously, Jean turned back to the paling expression on the petite woman's expression. "That happens all the time, it's not even a problem."

Krista let out another groan, dropping her chin to cover her eyes with her fists. A violent gale tore through the air outside, rattling hard against the windows and even the door, forcing everyone to gasp and duck with apprehension.

"We're going to be alright, right?" the question reached Jean's ears as she looked worriedly over to the darkening sky outside the windows. "No more shattering glass or anything, right?"

"You guys reinforce the windows yet?!" Jean shouted over his shoulder. The soldier he had been talking to nodded.

"Got that taken care of before the Gazebo got messed up. Those windows aren't slamming open any time soon."

Sighing with relief he turned back to the worrying blonde, placing another hand over her shoulder to snap her out of her worried stare. "Hey, look, we can still have the wedding ceremony in here."

Krista frowned before looking over the expanse of the dining hall, watching as soldiers ambled around here and there with their meals and watching as the group worked on fixing the gazebo. "Here?" She asked, uncertain. "I don't know…"

"Oh yeah, think about it! It's perfect," Jean said quickly, brightening as he took a step forward and waving his hands this way and that. "We can decorate the space, use the chairs we had outside and build the isle right down the center, we can even drag some of the tables over to settle for party favors and stuff. What do you think?"

Krista tilted her chin, trying to see the picture Jean was so elaborately painting, "I'm not sure, I mean… The wedding's in four days, Jean. Do you think we'll have enough time to prep things up in time?"

Her companion nodded resolutely, "Look at me, 'Tori." He said, turning her chin to look back at her and ignoring the way her nose wrinkled at the sudden nickname. "We may not be perfect designers, but we're soldiers. And we can put it together in time for the day. It'll work out better this way, too, since we won't have to worry about the wind or anything…" he finished, crossing his arms and nudging a shoulder in the direction of the open room.

Krista bit her lips again, but her frown was ebbing away and the familiar twinkle of excitement was finding home again within her eyes. Jean grinned again when she turned to him a small, growing smile. "Okay… I may not be completely fond of the alternative, but… if we can have something ready for the rehearsal dinner on Thursday then… let's go for it."

Jean let out a victorious cheer, lifting a hand for her to meet with her own with a clap. "Alright! I'll get to it…once I've had lunch…"

The blonde haired woman let out a soft giggle after he ruffled her hair again and the pair went ahead to get their food while there was still food to eat. For a good while, things looked up and despite the worried glances they got from others who had been present when the mirror fell at the Poltrabend, there was as brighter countenance to be shared between friends.

"So, doing the wedding inside the dining hall…?" Connie asked, twirling his fork between his fingers and watching the men working at the damaged gazebo. "So are you still going to use the large thing or nixing it completely?"

"It'd be a waste to throw it away now," Krista said through a bite of beef. "It was a gift from the Commander. I can't just toss that out."

"Yeah," Jean agreed, nodding wisely. "Besides, once it's been fixed—and honestly we'll only need the front of the thing anyway—we can use it as a real elaborate altar. Trust me, I've got the whole thing figured out."

"Momma Jean's got it all figured out, huh," Connie teased, dodging the knife the man had thrown with a grin. "You're so lovely, Jean. Can't wait to see you wearing the pretty bonnet that goes to the mother of the bride."

"You can laugh now, Springer," Jean griped, before reaching over and snatching his friend's knife from beside his plate. Connie tried to snatch it back too late and Jean returned to carving his meal. "But we'll see who's laughing when it's your turn to get married and you need someone to help Li manage that."

"Speaking of her," Krista piped up, not noticing the way both Armin and Connie stiffened at the woman's mention. "Where is the elusive Li? I haven't seen her around since Saturday evening with the whole…Military Police thing..."

"Who knows," Connie said quickly, feigning apathy. "She can do whatever she wants."

"She's your match, Connie," Krista quipped disapprovingly. "You should try to be nicer to her. Plus, she's not so bad, I think. Even after rubbing her butt all over my fiancé's lap, she's still going to marry one of my friends. So it's best to play nice and make friends. Right, Armin?" she finished with a bright grin despite fiercely sawing at her meat with her knife. The two men leaned away, catching the dangerous gleam glowing in her eyes despite her kind words.

_She's still angry. _They thought as she all but slammed her knife back down and daintily placed a slice of mauled beef in her mouth.

"R-right, love." He replied, chuckling despite the nervous sweat accumulating over his brow. "And-and anyway, I haven't seen Sasha all day. Normally, she's the first one in line for lunch and she still hasn't shown up."

Jean scowled, as if just realizing that fact and turned around in his seat, eyes peering over the crowd of soldiers and the line of people grabbing their meals and heading to their tables.

"Yeah…" He mumbled, eyebrows furrowing with confusion. "That's weird… I wonder where she is."

"Last I knew," Connie spoke up again, nabbing a piece of Jean's potatoes while the man was distracted, "She was helping one of Moblit's trainees run 3DMG drills by the north side of the castle. I'm sure they're probably putting their stuff away now and heading back."

Armin shook his head, frowning, "I just got back from the north side. I didn't see her team there at all and I've been there nearly all day helping Keiji run inspections since he hurt his ankle. You sure it was the north side?"

"Positive," the shorter man affirmed, "I was talking to her about it over breakfast this morning. She wouldn't shut up about how -it was part of her evaluation for her promotion. Seems like she's being considered for a Lance Corporal position too."

"Not so high and mighty now, are we, Arlert?" Mikasa's voice interjected and the group greeted her and their Captain when the couple approached with their meals in hand.

"Hey, Mikasa!" Armin greeted with a grin, "Captain! I thought you guys liked to spend your lunches alone…"

"We do," the young raven haired woman replied easily. At her side, Captain Levi bore his usual bored expression, but a deeper look at his face let them all know he wasn't exactly enthused about this latest circumstance. "Our usual spot had a problem with one of the windows and since the weather's bad, we decided to join you." Upon further inspection, the tilt to Mikasa's smile appeared more smug than usual—the only tell-tale sign of a success against the older man standing at her side.

Before anyone pointed it out (not that they would, I mean, God forbid) the couple was already moving toward the next available open spots at the table, right beside Connie and across the golden haired couple.

"What's this about Braus missing," Levi spoke up gruffly as he slid in beside Connie with Mikasa in tow. The shorter buzz cut gave a little uncomfortable squirm and shuffled a bit further away, but dared not protest. "I was under the impression the drills were canceled."

"Canceled?" Jean repeated, pressing his elbows over the table and slapping Connie's wandering fork away. "When?"

The short Captain pressed the tip of his knife into one of the steamed vegetables on his plate, before reaching over to lift his cup of coffee and bringing it up to his lips. "It happened earlier today. Several of the Squad Leaders agreed to cancel the drills overseeing training the cadets due to the wind. Can't fly if the weather's threatening to rip you to shit."

"Well if drills were canceled…" Krista voiced, thin blonde brows furrowing as she placed her utensils down slowly. "Then where's Sasha's team?"

A tense silence followed as the implication the question brought to light sunk in. Connie's eyes widened before he dropped his fork and leaned over the table. "Wait," he said, waving his hand to get their attention, "You guys are not thinking she's still out there right?"

"There's a possibility," Armin replied, scowling fully as he placed his elbows further on the table, lifting linked fingers to rest against his collar. "I didn't know they were canceling the drills and I was around that area for several hours. It's quite possible Sasha's team probably went ahead with the schedule." Instantly all eyes went over to Jean's face. The spiky-haired man had paled visibly, his eyebrows dropped over his eyes in a sharp brooding expression.

"Kirschstein," Levi spoke evenly, focusing a stern expression over the soldier's slowly panicking face. "Stay calm." Jean gave several short nods and swallowed thickly, but everyone winced and gasped when another powerful gale ripped through the air outside. A loud crash ripped into the suddenly silent dining hall as all eyes jumped to its source. Through the dim light of evening and heavy overcast, they could make out the form of a torn branch scratching against the higher windows before it collapsed and disappeared out of sight. To their relief, the window held firm. The relief didn't last long.

Jumping to his feet and ignoring his plate of food, Jean began to head out the dining hall, exclaiming over his shoulder, "I'm going to go find her!"

"Jean, no!" Krista shouted, bouncing to her feet with the rest of the team following after. "You can't go out there, you'll be blown away!"

"Think this through, buddy," Connie exclaimed, jogging up to catch up to the soldier's long strides. "It was just a theory. We never said she's actually out there, for all we know she's safe inside somewhere in the castle, probably stuck with some kind of punishment for breaking something again!"

"And if she's not?" Jean shot back, whirling around and facing them all with a furious expression. "And what if she's really out there, probably crushed by some fallen tree or something and I do nothing?!"

"Jean," Levi's smooth voice shook the brunet's attention directly to him. Firm, calm and betraying no emotion, the raven haired man stepped through his subordinates and faced the taller man by placing a man on his shoulder. "Calm down. We'll find Braus… but not now."

"What do you mean not now?!" Jean exploded, fists clenching at his sides as he fixed their leader a frantic stare. "Our teammate could be in danger and you'd have us sit around and eat? She could be dying for God's sake!"

"I will not expose the rest of the squad to this weather," the Captain replied, eyes flashing as he fixed him a firmer glare. "If Sasha is, indeed, out there, then we must hope and trust in her abilities as an expert in 3DMG, but I will not endanger the lives of everyone else for a mission that could cause more casualties." Jean bit down on his lip and exhaled a loud grunt of frustration before looking away and gritting his teeth. Another tense silence filled them as they watched and waited for Jean's expression. It wasn't long until he gave them a slow, begrudging nod. Krista let out a long sigh before reaching over to grip on to Jean's hand in a comforting gesture. Armin followed by wrapping an arm around his shoulders, fixing their friend a grim, yet determined smile.

Lowering his hand, Levi proceeded to look over the rest of his squad. "For now, split up and search the castle. Armin, take Historia and Connie to the North side of the castle and ask around for information concerning the team Sasha was last seen in. Mikasa, find Major Freidhelm and find out when the cancellation order was sent out—if we can narrow down when the teams received the orders and when the last of the drills were initiated, we may be able to find out whether or not she is safe."

"What about me, sir?" the tall cadet asked, lips tightening in a firm line.

"You will stay with me, until we have our information." Levi ordered, dark eyes narrowing. Jean let out a sharp exhale of shock. "You're emotionally compromised, Jean."

"Emotionally compro-!?"

"—I cannot have you running off outside like a chicken without its head into a windstorm. The last thing I want is two endangered team members because of an act of brash decisions. Trust your squad, Kirschstein. We've all survived the war against Titans. I highly doubt a little wind will be enough to kill our own Sasha Braus."

Jean lifted a hand to wipe at his face but made no move to run off, glaring heatedly at the ground.

"We'll find you the second we find something," Krista said gently, smiling despite the worried flicker in her blue eyes. Jean nodded and watched them leave, fists clenching.

"It's going to be alright, Jean," Mikasa spoke. Jean nearly jumped when she pressed a hand over his arm, giving him a firm squeeze that was meant to be comforting. "Sasha is strong and knows how to hold her own in the wild," She gave him a smile that made the comforting touch settle in his chest. "Even if she is out there, I'm sure she's safe. Trust in her."

"Thank you…Mikasa." Jean sighed, looking away in time to avoid seeing Mikasa plant a kiss to their Leader's cheek.

"Let me know what you find," Levi's voice rose to his ears, soft and certain.

"Aye, aye, Captain." Mikasa replied. Jean felt his face contort in an expression of confusion, _aye, aye, Captain? _ It was so weird… but he let it drop once he heard Mikasa's footsteps begin to echo off, soft and firm against the stone. Glancing away from the ground, Jean looked over to the shorter Captain, before blinking in surprise. It was not an expression that he would've been properly prepared for—and while Captain Levi was usually a stone wall when it came to emotions, over the years the team had slowly gotten accustomed to his micro-expressions and tiny exposures of reaction. It was more out of necessity than discovery—being able to tell what the man was feeling in order to avoid getting into hours of drills that could easily be used for sleeping and other activities had become vital when they lived under the same roof. Even after they rejoined the main Corp it was still essential.

Over the years, Jean had grown to not just survive the Dragon's company, but even enjoy the short moments of twisted humor. Respect and honor were easy partners that culminated Jean's esteem of the Captain, and he was pleased to say he received the same from the older man—and he figured that much out in being able to read the tiniest leaks of expression that poured through his dark gray eyes.

These leaks of expression usually dabbled in moments of anger, violence, calm (or rather boredom… that was still a tricky one to discern), even amusement when he was in his lighter moods. Jean was actually there on the rare occasion that the Captain had let out a short laugh—which made everyone sort of panic but eventually calm down when he fixed them all an exasperated lift of his brow.

In this educational journey of learning the many hidden expressions of Captain Levi, Jean had soon discovered a strange upset to the balance—and it had come in the form of Mikasa.

At first, Jean had felt affronted, hell even defensive in wanting to make his claim clear to the shorter Captain. But more than nothing, he had felt a sort of relief that Mikasa would not return the older man's prolonged glances. Her devotion to Eren was just too strong, Jean had assumed.

He was proven extremely wrong when he had found the duo one night in their cabin, talking in hushed tones on the porch while the rest of the team slept. It had confused him, but the answer was clear when he had seen Mikasa (covered in a thick blanket) slowly lean her head against the Captain's shoulder. Stunned, and hugely disappointed, Jean could only watch with the growing hole of rejection in his chest when Levi had let his head fall against the crown of hers. It only became clearer that theirs wasn't a hopeless attraction that time the Titan that nearly killed Sasha almost crushed the Captain's flying form.

Mikasa's hysterical reaction was enough to leave the rest of the team feeling edgy (she was second in strength of covering emotion) and enough for Jean to let go of his unrequited affection for the raven haired woman. In the end, it worked out for them. For all of them.

And now, Jean could feel his thoughts nearly fall completely silent at the evidence before him.

Because of all the expressions he had tried to discern over Levi's flat face—the very last one he thought he would ever catch would be complete and reverent adoration playing like gray flames behind the Captain's gaze as he followed Mikasa's exiting form.

The shock alone was almost enough to distract Jean from his own romantic excursions. Almost. The image of Sasha's grinning face came like a warmth that turned bitingly cold in his chest. The worry and concern returned full force when the tall soldier remembered why he was standing by his Captain's side rather than tugging on his equipment to his hips.

In a blink, the look disappeared within the stainless steel of the Captain's eyes as they turned back over to him, calculating. "Let's head back to the dining hall."

"Y-yes, sir…" Jean agreed, still reeling at the private exchange he had caught. He almost felt like he had intruded into something that should not have been seen.

When they arrived, Jean had jumped into his meal at the Captain's expectant glance. He honestly tried to focus on the taste of his meal, tried to savor the softness and rare salted flavor of his potatoes and the tenderness of his meat, but each bite only resulted in yet another shot of anxiety that churned at his stomach.

Another thought rose to the front of his mind, making his rapid chewing slow and the scratching of his utensils on his plate to cease. _What's wrong with me…? We've faced worse dangers before. Sasha had ripped into the mouth of an aberrant once! She could handle this weather. Hell, didn't we have to figure out how to maneuver in similar conditions during our trainee years? She's going to be fine. Cool it. _

Easier said than done. Fingers scratched at his scalp, gripped to the nape of his neck while his foot tapped out rapid rhythms against the ground, each grunt of frustration increasing in length whenever the wind's screeching rose and fell.

Something was definitely wrong with him. He hadn't behaved this way before when it came to Sasha. If anything, for most of their years, Jean could easily admit that he hadn't felt more than somewhat concerned for her safety—but this? This was an egging and scratching at his stomach and chest, burrowing rising headache behind his brows to pulse at his temples. He had never felt like this before—even less when it had come toward Mikasa, or Eren—hell even with Armin, and he had shared near death experiences with that boy left and right.

"Kirschstein," Levi's voice came to him again after another twenty minutes passed.

"Y-yeah?" Jean asked, nearly kicking himself for stuttering. He ended up shutting up completely at the shadow looming over the man's narrow and obviously irritated gaze.

"You tap that fork on the table one more time and I will stab it through your neck."

Jean's hand stopped and he gulped, surprised he hadn't realized he had been tapping the end of his fork against the wood in quick raps. "S-sorry."

"You're worried," Levi commented. Jean fought the urge to snort and roll his eyes, knowing full well that when the Captain places threats, he's one step away from making them happen.

"Yes."

"Mikasa's told me the two of you are involved." Today was just full of surprises apparently.

Jean didn't know how to react, sputtering out uncertainly, "I…uh… yes…?"

Levi nodded again and reached for his cup of coffee, gripping it in the unusual way that was his unique hold before taking a sip and resting an elbow on the table. "Is it serious?"

Jean could feel the blood in his body slam to a stop. Amber eyes blinked in rapid flutters as his mind took in the question and the ever present gaze of expectant boredom on his superior's eyes. "What do you mea—as in serious? Like exclusive? Like, we're together exclusively?"

"Was the question really that unclear?" The raven haired man asked, replacing his cup on its saucer before lifting a fork and stabbed it through a shred of beef. Jean swallowed back the urge to sputter out his thoughts all at once. In anyone else's presence, he might have—he would have completely, only he had learned that their Captain had a very low tolerance for incoherent phrasing and word vomit.

Jean bit down on the inside of his cheek, dropping his gaze away from Levi's to focus on the cold plate of half-eaten lunch. The answer was simple, even at this point, Jean knew exactly where he was with Sasha. She's been his girlfriend, his friend, lover… but this worry that clung to his throat with such a bitter aftertaste… it made it seem less simple than he had previously figured it was.

"Yeah," He admitted with a slow exhale, "I mean, I think it is… sort of… maybe…"

The shorter man let out a soft "Hn," of acknowledgement but said nothing else, allowing another silence to fill the space between them. For a few moments, talk and conversations rose and fell in synchronicity with the howls of the wind. Every once in a while the air outside would let out hoarse shrieks, making everyone (save the real hardened veterans) wince or flinch uncomfortably. Jean pushed his meal away, deciding to cross his arms over the table and focus on the way his leg bobbed up and down against the floor, waiting for the time to pass. It was certainly a strange situation he found himself in, that's for sure. Captain Levi had given them all kinds of advice in the past, ranging from how to cook their meals to the best formations to take when killing 20-meter class Aberrants…

But never, in all their years of acquaintanceship and familiarity, had Jean been asked so forthright about his love life by the man. It was strange enough seeing him behave so… _gently_… with Mikasa, as if he was no more than a young man barely discovering the springtime of his youth—on top of that, Levi was asking him about his relationship with Sasha. To him, Levi had always been a figure of respect, high esteem, and honest-to-god ridiculous power—Jean had no problem trusting his life in this man's hands…

"Winter seems to be making quite the entrance…" the Captain's voice hit him from across the table, low and pensive. Jean blinked away from the stains on his plate to peer at his superior's expression. Grim, serious, Levi looked as he usually did when contemplating the next serious move. It only made the itching and worry rise further in his chest.

"Jean," said man nearly jumped out his seat. Steel blue eyes rolled over to meet his with a certain shadow, deepening the dark half-circles under the older man's eyes and making him seem so much older… "If Sasha means a lot to you… you shouldn't waste any more time."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

At this, Levi's face softened into an almost sorrowful expression (but honestly, it was hard to tell. For all Jean knew—and it may just be thrown upside down, at this point—this expression meant some kind of upset stomach or… something) before letting out a soft sigh through his nose. "I know this is difficult for you… but take it from me. It does no good in putting things off. The Titans may be gone… but we are still not living in complete security. I cannot assure you that many of us will be around for long. So, figure out your feelings for Sasha… and make a decision soon. Deadlines are the hours of the evening that sneak up on you when you least expect it. Choose while you still can."

Thoroughly floored, Jean could say nothing in response, but swallow back the bitterness and lift a hand to rub at his mouth. Conversation faded to black around them as they waited for news.

_Choose while you still can…_ the words echoed in his mind.

Choose what? A life of marriage with Sasha? Jean knew he cared for her, he dare even say he cared very deeply for her. She had become more than just a friend, Sasha had become one of the people he enjoyed being with the most. Even many of the things that had irked him no longer seemed to press his buttons in irritation—in fact, they only added to her appeal and allowed him to find more reasons to keep warming up to her.

Even so… they had maybe another month or two before winter came and the deadline was certain on the horizon. It was hardly enough time to properly decide whether or not he wanted to live with this girl and raise children with her. It had played his fantasies, yes. But, dammit, he isn't Armin! He couldn't just decide right then and there that he wanted to tie himself so irrevocably to a woman he was still getting to know in such an intimate level. Heaven forbid they do end up married but their relationship fails… and all because they rushed into something neither was prepared for…

It's not that Jean was in love with Sasha… right?

_It's too early to tell…_ He thought to himself, morose. _It's much too early to tell. _

Didn't she confess her love for him? What if they agree to marry but he ends up falling in love with someone else? If his affections for her fall short of the love she bears for him? He couldn't do that to her. That was dishonorable. _More dishonorable than breaking her heart and letting her marry some stranger? _

The thought made the bitterness rise with unprecedented vigor, stabbing him in the roof of his mouth and making the churning in his stomach nearly explode into a complete rolling boil. It was nearly enough to make him sick.

Minutes passed and after Levi had made it a key point to trust Jean into not throwing himself out the windows to find Sasha, the short Captain stood to find his fiancé and the rest of his squad members to see what was the hold up. Jean had agreed to stay in the dining hall, deciding that his train of thought would do him no good in assisting any search operation—despite his ardent desire to strap on his gear and go blasting off into the woods for her—the tall man settled on trying to work on what decorations would work best for Krista's wedding.

Levi had fixed him a strange stare at that but made no comment on it, giving him a one-shouldered shrug before striding off, throwing a final warning over his shoulder that forced the threat of severe discipline if Jean deviated from his orders. Tossing food away, Jean stood and paced this way and that, pointedly ignoring the way his stomach clenched every time the wind screeched and the windows shook. At one point even the great double doors of the entrance let out sharp creaks of complaint against the barrage of wind and nature.

Jean could do nothing more aside from throwing himself over to the men still working on the Gazebo and took the nearest hammer that was available. When in doubt—make good work. It was a simple saying his father had once told him as a youth growing in Trost. His parents were dead, but that didn't mean their words were gone completely—their legacy still lived on. And so, Jean settled his mind into a focused silence and assisted in what he could… if only to get the ever growing concern to shut the hell up.

Two hours passed since the squad split up in search for news when Connie appeared back in the dining hall, looking grim and exhausted—clothes looking damp and windswept. The buzz cut's appearance made Jean nearly drop the large piece of plywood he was assisting in taking down—much to the shouts of irritation from the other men—before nearly tackling the brooding looking man.

"Connie!" Jean called as he walked over to the entrance, waving when the buzz cut perked up at the sound of his name and fell into step toward him. "What news? Is she safe? Have you guys found her yet?"

Connie's eyes crinkled with uncertainty, his lips parting with a gathered breath that stopped before it could be released. "…No…" He revealed, making the hope in Jean's chest wither. "No luck finding her… Uh… But we're going to find her, jean. No doubt about it."

The anxiety nearly sunk back into another burst of panic, escaping in sharp huffs of air through his lips and a furious pacing and fisting his hands to keep from exploding out of the room to find his equipment. _Follow orders. _Jean thought to himself, biting down hard over his lip and throwing a couple of digits to pick at a splinter in the web between his thumb and index finger.

"I don't understand," He growled through gritted teeth. "How could she be missing? Did you at least find out if she's inside? Do you know anything about her whereabouts? Come on, Connie, talk to me."

Connie only sighed heavily, running a hand over his scalp before rubbing at his jaw, probably dealing with his jaw locking because of the tension. "Jean… Sasha's team… never got the cancellation memo… When we found nothing, Krista, Armin and I met back up with Mikasa and the Captain. They spoke with Major Freidhelm and one of his lieutenants. We managed to find the log where Sasha had signed in for the drills. They left before the memo was realized…"

The room became dreadfully silent as Connie's words sunk in, casting the whirlwind of thoughts he had been fighting into a sudden stand still.

"So…" Jean heard himself speak. "She's still out there…?"

Connie winced. "We think so… yeah. I mean, we're still not sure!" He said quickly after Jean let out a fierce exhale. Speaking fast and attempting to direct the taller man from exploding, Connie continued, "There's still the rest of the castle to search, okay? Captain Levi's already ordered some more men to search the grounds for Sasha's team. Just stay calm, Jean. She'll show up."

"That's what you said before…" the brunet hissed, nails biting into his palms as the last of his restraint held. "…I've been busy here getting splinters on my fingers and she could be completely mauled by a tree branch or blown leagues away from here! For all we know, she's completely lost in this freak wind storm, starving and afraid while I sit here doing _nothing_!"

Connie lifted his hands in a calming gesture, but his expression was all but calm—looking more distressed the more Jean grew more and more heated. "I understand you want to go out there, man. But, seriously, you'll do more harm than good if you go out there."

"At least I gave a shit enough to go and search for her!" Jean exploded, throwing his hands in the air. "At least I could say I tried to find her, instead of wasting my time!"

Connie let out a sharp exhale, scowling with growing irritation, "And do what, get yourself in a similar or worse predicament? You forget that Sasha isn't by herself, Jean. She's with a team. Trained soldiers, of whom had to learn survival skills in order to pass the trainee stations. That's one thing she's got that you're ignoring. You go out there by yourself and you'll die!"

Jean nearly felt like kicking something over. "Then why don't you help me?!"

"Do you not believe in her at all, Jean?!" Connie shot back, silencing the taller man. "Is your head so far up your own ass that you're willing to cast aside your faith in her because of fear?" The wind howled again before dying back down, casting them in a certain silence. Jean stared in shock at the short man, nearly gaping.

"I'm… that's not…" He murmured, realizing then and there that the rest of the dining hall had quieted to direct their attention over them. Connie seemed to realize this too, because he was letting out a short grunt of frustration through his nose and returned to rubbing at the back of his scalp and base of his skull.

"For a dude who's in love you lack serious faith in your girl, man." Connie huffed.

_In… love? _

"I'm not…" Jean began but the words slowly died. _I think I love you too… _The reminder of feeling Sasha's warmth against him, feeling her breath in his ear as she panted out a heartfelt confession burned into his chest. It had been in her arms that he had known… had wanted to repeat the three words back and truly claim this woman as his own.

Why did the thought fill him with such conflict now?

"This wind won't last long…" Connie sighed after another uncomfortable silence, throwing an exasperated glare at the rest of the soldiers in the dining hall and they all returned to their business promptly. "Give it some time." He said, turning to Jean with a sympathetic look. It almost made the taller man snap with an angry retort. "It'll die down. She'll be back soon, Jean, and stuffing herself with bread and meat faster than you can think. You'll see."

Three hours later, they all noted with relief how, true to Connie's words, the wind did die down. The sky was still heavy with dark clouds, but fading sunlight burst through spaces and announced the incoming dusk with a sort of drugged speed. All, of course, save Jean.

Five hours and still there was no sign of Sasha, and his worry and concern had had enough time to metastasize into full blown dread and fear—spreading in tumor like splotches through his chest and making him feel drained of all energy. It was not an easy ordeal, but the change in the weather did enough to spur him into finally moving, determined and ready to fly off into the woods in search for the auburn haired woman.

With Captain Levi nowhere to be seen, Jean dropped the remaining supplies of wood and nails. "You guys good?" He asked the men that still worked on the broken pieces and removing bent nails from the gazebo. They all let out several calls of encouragement, having sent him comforting glances and sympathetic slaps on the shoulder throughout their work.

Every once in a while, the air gave sharp gusts of wind, rattling the windows and shaking doors—as if reminding them that this time of respite could end just as quickly as it had been given.

To Jean, this was an opportunity that should not be wasted. Captain Levi would understand why he had to deviate from his orders, and Jean could honestly say that any punishment the man could dish out was worth the chance he had to find Sasha.

He had taken maybe ten steps out of the Dining Hall's doors into the main hallway when he heard a commotion near the entrance, several people were already making their way toward the scene. Curious, Jean followed, and feeling his heart pound in his chest he tried not to let his hopes rise.

"OW! Careful, Fitz!" He heard and his heart jumped instantly to his throat, recognizing that voice anywhere. His steps burst into a full sprint, pushing people here and there out of the way.

"Sasha!?" Jean called, elbowing past a short, mousy looking cadet. At the center of the commotion stood several soldiers looking worse for wear, many of them were clinging to limbs and nursing head wounds, but all of them looked as relieved as he felt—as if he had been the one weathering this wind storm along with them. To the side, he spotted her. Captain Levi, Mikasa and Armin were standing by her, while Krista looked over her injuries and it would have been a wonderful sight to his eyes…

If not for the soldier that held Sasha up, arms curled around her waist and back protectively and watching her with a concerned, even sheepish smile.

"Jean!" He heard her exclaim and his eyes jumped back to hers, feeling the sensation of relief strangely sting with another feeling altogether. He moved close, glancing back between the tall and wild haired cadet and the woman in his arms, trying not to feel irritated.

"Sasha, are you alright? Are you hurt?" Jean asked, noticing how her clothes looked filthy and her hair stuck up in odd angles. The entire right side of her body looked specially torn, and the way she wasn't leaning her weight on her right leg made him quickly realize that she was less than okay.

Regardless, she fixed him a bright, albeit strained, smile. "Yeah, I'm alright. Starving!"

At that, Mikasa and Armin shared small smiles while Levi shook his head softly. Krista giggled and straightened from her position on the ground, releasing Sasha's leg and wiping a hand over her forehead. "Well, the good news is," Krista announced, turning her smile over to Jean. "She's only been bruised. Still, it wouldn't hurt to have her spend some time in the infirmary."

"All thanks to Fitz!" Sasha piped in, grinning toothily and patting the soldier holding her up warmly against his chest. The brunet grinned back, and Jean easily saw how the man's hand slid up and down her side, gentle and almost unnoticeable. It made the sting in his chest tighten and spark a sort of violence in his blood. "If you hadn't been such a perfect meat shield, I would've been blown off."

"What can I say," Fitz responded, shrugging with a pleased twinkle in his pale amber eyes. "I'll do anything for the ladies."

Sasha laughed, breathy and tired but alight with amusement. It made Jean's fingers twitch. "Alright, I think that's enough." Jean said, scowling and taking another step closer to the two intertwined soldiers, forcing his tone to come out as normal as possible. "Krista says you've got to get to the infirmary, right? Let's get going."

"Don't worry, Kirschstein," Fitz said, smiling good naturedly. "I can take Sasha to the infirmary. Don't want to jostle her too much. She landed rather brutally against a branch earlier."

"Nearly broke all my ribs," Sasha nodded, wincing when they swayed, and unconsciously bracing herself more against Fitz's body. In response, his hand wrapped further around her waist and braced against her hips, making them appear to be wrapped in a lover's embrace. Jean had had enough.

Moving more resolutely, Jean shoved his way toward Sasha, gripping onto her shoulders to pull her off her comrade. "I think I should be the one to take her. Thanks for your help."

"No, no, I got it." Fitz protested, frowning when Sasha let out a tiny hiss of pain through her lips. "I've already got a hold of her, Jean. It's no problem."

"I appreciate all you've done in keeping her safe," Jean grunted, grabbing the other man's arm and roughly attempting to get him to let go. Sasha let out a sharp exhale, turning an alarmed expression over to Jean. "But you look tired, Fitz. I'm more than capable in helping her out."

"Ah," Sasha exclaimed, grimacing.

"Sasha, you okay—?" Armin tried to ask, not knowing where to help while Jean tried to shove her into his arm.

"Jean," Mikasa's voice followed, but he quickly ignored them. Wanting nothing more than to just rip Sasha away from Fitz's arms, he persevered, not realizing he was being too gruff.

"Hey, hey," Fitz spoke, scowling. "Easy, man. I said I've got—"

"Hey, Fitz," Jean snapped, seething through his teeth. "You wanna get your fucking paws off my girlfriend, buddy? I said, I've got her!"

Krista gasped, no doubt shocked at his sudden slew of profanity. "Jean…!" The rest of the atmosphere fell in a tense silence. Sasha looking up at him with a shocked expression that slowly morphed between pained and angry. Fitz seemed to have gathered enough to understand exactly what was going on, his face falling into a simple appraisal before letting his arms slide off from Sasha, stepping back as Jean quickly stepped in to cradle her form from the side Fitz was holding.

"Alright man, no problem." Fitz said easily, shrugging when Jean tossed him a violent glare after Fitz attempted to help adjust his girlfriend in place. "Didn't mean any disrespect, I'm just worried for her."

"Not necessary," Jean grunted and began to hoist Sasha away, despite the girl's tight grunts of pain. Ignoring the pointed glances from the rest of his team, Jean pushed through the parted crowd and strode purposefully through the halls.

"Jean…" Sasha groaned, gripping to his shoulders and digging her nails through the coarse fabric of his jacket. "Slow down."

He didn't quite seem to hear, trying to wipe the image of Fitz holding on to her body as if they were made for each other. It made him feel sick to his stomach. _Is it serious? _All of a sudden, the image of her being held like that by any man made him feel nauseous. The thought of Sasha smiling and laughing in someone else's arms dug into him like a knife, filling him to the brim with a fierce desire to keep her glued at his side. He hadn't been certain, had thought that they would progress and find holes in their relationship as all other couples do. When he had decided to take her as his girlfriend, Jean had promised himself to keep his survey in mind.

A new thought hit him then. The thought of being told to marry someone else made the blood run cold in his veins. It felt so wrong, made him feel so sick… so disgusted…

_Get a grip_. Jean thought fiercely, but the thoughts failed to leave him, dragging him down into a spiral of anger and desperation. The previous dread was morphing again, making the tumors that had spread through his chest burn with the desire to make it known to everyone… not just Fitz. The thought that had added the adrenaline to his fingers when he touched Sasha for the first time all day. _Mine._ _She's mine. She's mine._

"Jean!" Sasha's voice rang hard in his ear, making him nearly drop her with surprise. They stopped, his ear was ringing where she had shouted. When he turned to look at her Sasha looked ready to punch him in the face. "Will you slow down for a second? You're hurting me, jerk-off!"

Sobering, Jean blinked, registering the pained huffs of air blowing through her lips and realized his hold on her was certainly too tight. He loosened his hold and she let out a loud sigh of relief, loosening the vice like hold she had dug into his shoulders.

"What the hell has gotten into you?" She asked, pulling away to fix him a deep look of disapproval.

He could feel the anger of before rise again, spinning and churning in his chest. "What's gotten into me? I've been worried sick all day for you, Sasha! I've been wanting nothing more than to go out and look for you and after _hours_, Sasha, _hours_ of waiting for a sign, a hint—hell-a simple notice that you were alive and okay, I see you draped all over that guy like some…some…"

Sasha's eyes hardened, "Like some…what, Jean." She hissed lowly, not liking where he was going. Jean let out a hard gust of air through his lips, snarling as he turned and restrained from punching the nearest wall.

"Don't you get it?" He snapped, running his fingers roughly through his scalp. "I was worried, Sasha!"

"I get that, Jean. I'm not an idiot!" She shouted back, crossing her arms but winced when she touched her right arm the wrong way. "But that's no excuse for your behavior back there! Fitz saved my life. He shielded me from the wind when I hurt myself. The least you could do is show some respect! I wouldn't be here if not for his help. So stop acting like such a jerk, just because he was holding on to me."

The tall senior cadet set his jaw before taking a series of steps close to her before bending over and scooping her legs up, sweeping her off her feet and holding her to his chest.

"Ah! Dammit, Jean!" Sasha exclaimed, biting on her lips as he gripped her left side and tried not to jostle her too much despite storming down the hallway. When he made a swift turn left, she blinked in confusion. "Where are you going, the infirmary is the other way!"

"Don't you think I know that?" He shot back.

"I'm starting to seriously doubt it!"

"Will you just be quiet?"

"NO! I WON'T!" Sasha exploded, glaring at him through enraged butterscotch eyes. "Now, put me down! Or I'll kick you!"

He ignored her as he marched, ignoring her shouts of indignation as he moved toward the familiar hallway of the barracks. Soon they appeared in front of his door and with a quick maneuvering of his hands, was able to open his door and push them both through it. At this point, Sasha had fallen silent, glaring off into the distance and refusing to look at him even after he had set her down gently on his bed.

No words were spoken between them as he stood and headed over to his nightstand and yanked out a long bottle of cream that smelled an awful lot of menthol. Moving back to Sasha, Jean set the cream down at her side and began to shrug off her jacket. She hissed in pain as he did so but made no move to stop him, keeping her gaze firmly on the door.

"Can you lift your arms?" Jean grumbled after his fingers found her shirt and began tugging it out from her pants. Sasha didn't move or respond and he let out a long-suffering sigh before letting his fingers find the buttons of her shirt. Slow and quick all at once, he began to undress her—and while the act alone appeared sensual, it didn't feel that way. But, when he glanced up, he could see a soft tint of a blush on her cheeks, her lips pressing together in a firm line.

A sudden wave of tenderness hit him, filling his throat until it was hard to swallow, and the tenderness was only strengthened by a feeling of guilt when he opened her shirt and saw the very nasty bruise taking most of her skin on her right side. Jean stopped his movements, hands ceasing and grasping tightly to her shirt as he looked over the massive blemish.

Slowly, he dragged the shirt down her arms, taking in her ragged breathing and gentle trembling with a grim set of his lips. The guilt worked hard against his chest when he realized how painful it looked. Her skin as red and purple, the colors spreading like angry stains down from her shoulder and arm, through her ribcage, down her oblique to disappear beneath the fabric of her pants.

Lifting gentle fingers up, he caressed the surface of the bruised skin. Sasha gave an involuntary recoil at that and he retracted his hand quickly.

"You're going to need ice." He observed softly.

"I'd get ice if I was at the infirmary." She ground out, but her voice was softer as well and her eyes had fallen down to settle over his chest. Jean sighed and reached over to grab the bottle and squeezed the strong smelling cream into his palms. "What is that… it smells like peppermint?"

"It a special cream I bought from the merchants the last time they were here." He explained as he rubbed the soft cream over his hands before straightening up to sit behind her where the bruise began. "It works real well against bruises."

"If you had it all along why didn't you use it for your face?" She asked, hissing out a low groan when he pressed his hands over her shoulder blade and massaged the tender muscles as gently as he could. Jean let out a soft chuckle.

"I tried to but you were angry at me. Every time I tried to talk you would only hit me or grunt. I figured it'd be best to just leave you be." Sasha let out another grunt but her body was slowly relaxing, erasing whatever retort she probably wanted to say as he slid his fingers under her bra strap to reach the skin there. "Anyway… this will help with the pain and swelling… but I'm going to get some ice to help with the rest."

"Not yet…" She sighed, leaning closer to his touch. "It feels good." Jean felt another feeling lift, warm and swirling at her words and he let himself obey. Soon his fingers meandered down to her ribs, but when his hands were interrupted by the fabric of her bra, he paused.

"I'm going to take it off…is that okay?" Sasha nodded and even shivered when his fingers met at the center of her spine to grip on to the hooks of her underwear. The material loosened, but Jean didn't remove it completely, settling back into working the cream through her bruised skin.

For a while he worked her back, moving to her arm and sliding his fingers around to her ribcage. When he did, her hands reached up to grip on to his to bring him closer. Jean complied, allowing his clothed chest to meet her bare back as he rested his chin on her left shoulder, nudging her windswept hair away with his cheek and he pressed a soft kiss on the base of her neck.

"I'm sorry," Sasha sighed, flicking her thumb over his as she rested her head on his shoulder. The warmth between them intensified as his fingers still massaged her ribs and traveled to her belly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I didn't mean to hurt you." He returned. When she pulled away, she looked at him with wide eyes, as if searching for something in his gaze. She seemed to have found it because the next thing he knew, Sasha was pulling off the rest of her bra and pressing a hot kiss against his lips.

The fears of earlier broke in his chest, making him want to grip at her skin tighter, pull her firmer against his chest and press her harder against his bed. He refrained, however, because of her injury, but the tingling the cream caused between them felt marvelous and soon, Jean could feel his restraints fall apart as she worked her fingers under his shirt.

Carefully, they laid on his bed. Clothes fell and while he kissed her, he applied more cream to the vast expanse of her thigh where the bruise continued. Soon, his touches became less and less medically driven and more to remember the way she felt against him. Her soft gasps mingled with pain and pleasure, but it was obvious between the two of them that she felt the same desire to bring him closer—as if sensing his distress and wanting to put end to it.

Skin met skin as he pressed over her, rhythmic and stuttering out strained pants when she let out little sharp groans that signified more pain than relief. They moved in gentle waves and when they reached a peak, Sasha pulled him ever tighter, tasting his tongue with prolonged affection that made the warmth in his chest overwhelm him.

"I love you…Jean." She sighed as they struggled to catch their breath.

The following words both stunned and liberated him.

"I love you, too, Sasha."

Sasha froze beneath him, blinking wide eyes back against his in shock, as if wondering if this were real. The confession made the warmth in him spread everywhere, from the tips of his toes to the ends of his hair and for the first time in his life, Jean knew he meant every syllable, consonant and intonation of it.

"I do…" He breathed, cradling her cheek with trembling fingers. "I love you. I want to be with you, Sasha. More than anything."

Sasha's cheeks burned bright red, her eyes filling with tears as her hand shot to grip his against her flesh. "Jean… really?" She squeaked through a tiny breath and Jean could only feel the full weight of his words… but they no longer felt like anchors—they had become the pressure of keys being turned and shackles being released.

"I want to sign the engagement document with you, Sasha." He said softly, pressing his forehead against hers. "I want to marry you."

Sasha let out a dipping sob, her belly constricting against his as she wrapped her arms around him despite his mindful distance to her injury. "I want to marry you, too." Sasha laughed, tears escaping her eyes and hitting his fingers as he tilted her chin to kiss her. "Yes, Yes." She chanted after every kiss. "I want to marry you, yes."

And even though she repeated herself over and over, each word and each confirmation made him feel like he was soaring higher and higher. He wanted to hear her say it over and over again, and throughout the rest of the evening, she did, only stopping when her stomach made a very loud protest for food. Kissing her lips, he quickly dressed himself and ambled off to get them both dinner, insisting she stay in bed and rest while he did. She kissed him harder at that.

Jean made sure to get her the biggest platter of food he could get his hands on—because the way her eyes lit up and her smile widened at the sight was worth every shout of indignation he got from the other soldiers. If Sasha asked him to fetch him the moon, he would do it.

He'd probably help her eat it, too.

* * *

His entire body was sore. Every inch of muscle, bone, and skin felt like it had been stretched and constricted over long periods of time. It had been two days since they left the castle, and his thighs still ached from all the horseback riding.

Groaning, Eren lifted himself off his cot, wincing when his back, his chest—basically _everything_—protested. Most of Monday had been spent in riding and they didn't arrive to the Field Outpost until late afternoon. They had only taken a small fifteen minute lunch before riding off again, and while Moblit had insisted they take more breaks in between (because despite how strong the horses are, they didn't want to kill them) Hanji insisted on keeping a fast pace to their destination.

An entire day of riding and carrying equipment, Eren had been more than happy to collapse in his bed—but was unable to sleep because Hanji had burst through his tent flap and ordered him to begin their first experiment. Tired, sore, and starving (they hadn't eaten much either), Eren had half a mind to tell Hanji to stick it where the sun didn't shine. Instead, he rose and did as she said.

That first experiment, Eren had thought a bit strange…

"So… I'm just… sitting here?" He asked slowly, looking at the small rug like spot they had placed on the ground before him. Hanji nodded, eyes flashing as she looked over the area with a keen gaze. Around them, the soldiers had placed several mirrors to reflect the last of the sunlight over to the rug. The mirrors were large and wiggled and wobbled with every burst of wind around them, but held firm to their restraints, which consisted of several metal and wood looking scaffoldings.

"Quickly now, while we've got sunlight." Hanji ordered and Eren shrugged before sitting himself in the center of the little rug whilst getting used to all the light bouncing against his eyes. And he waited… and waited…

"Are you tired, Eren?" Hanji asked him from behind some of the mirrors, Eren stifled a yawn as he watched her pace this way and that.

"Well, yeah…" He drawled, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His thighs had been aching more while he sat with his legs crossed, but Hanji had already scolded him for trying to stretch the complaining muscles. After three hours of waiting and sitting in the slowly fading cascade of sunlight, Eren could feel his back begin to complain in equal strength along with his legs.

He endured all manner of questions, "How are you tired? Is it a sleepy tired or an exhausted tired?"—_the hell was the difference anyway?—_"Are you cold? Are you warm? You're experiencing tingling? Where? No, you can't stretch your legs. I don't care if they're falling asleep. Hungry, Eren?"

It wasn't until the sun had fully set that night that Hanji had finally allowed him to move. It was painful. His legs shook, his back creaked and his eyes felt like they had been replaced by lead. What was worse, by the time he managed to get to the food—it had already been mostly eaten by everyone else. He ate his meager dinner and went to sleep, fighting off irritation and the desire to sleep in until his body fully recuperated.

The next morning, Hanji had woken him up at the ungodly hours of the wee pre-dawn moments. She asked him how he slept—_like shit_—if he wanted to go back to sleep—_yes_—if he could please stand up, touch his toes, allow her to take a blood sample, test his cognitive responses or whatever before letting him collapse back into bed.

When he woke, he had missed breakfast and was only allowed to eat some bread and dried fruit slices. Disappointed, Eren tried to keep from snapping when Moblit had chuckled and patted him on the head—he almost did, but bit down on his roll and scarf down the dried pears. During the day, Hanji put him through a harsh obstacle course that involved the use of his 3DMG. It would have been a slice of cake, if not for the fact he was starving, and still sore from the experiment of the evening prior. All along, Hanji kept egging him on, shouting at him strange questions and telling him to move faster.

He managed to finish the obstacle courses, landing roughly on his knees and gasping while she jotted down the results. For all he knew, she was just coming up with new ways to torture him…

The remainder of the day, he had been asked to perform a ten minute handstand, do fifteen sets of twenty squats—which _killed_, by the way—and jump off some trees and catch the branches with his gear as close to the ground as he could get.

None of these experiments demanded him to attempt to transform into a titan and while his body ached and creaked, none of the injuries or pains caused him any triggers into the titan form. He honestly had no idea what Hanji was getting from these strange endeavors, but he had found that if he asked, she would go on and on about theories he was already aware of (he was nearly late for supper that night for that).

Now…three days into their trip and two days into their weird experimentations, Eren wanted nothing more than to dig a hole and fall asleep inside it. At this point, sleeping had become a nuisance, with how angrily his body protested and shouted at him to quit moving.

It was ridiculous, but duty called.

And that duty was finding the nearest bush he could relieve himself on.

It was still dark when he pulled himself from his cot. His breaths burst behind his lips in strained gasps as his body screamed in protest, but the arrogant prods of his bladder made him move onward, forcing his body to obey and walk out his small tent. The air was strangely still out here, and as he glanced up at the sky, he allowed himself a moment to inhale the freshness of the air around him.

The Field Outpost was a station that the Corp used as message deliveries, so it meant the building where soldiers checked and received information was rather small and accommodated three soldiers in total. This lack of space forced the rest of the squad to pitch tents outside of it—but it wasn't exactly uncomfortable. Moblit had ran a hand over his scalp, ruffling the long locks of brown while saying this was a good way to enjoy the outdoors.

_We already live outdoors, Moblit_. Eren had replied tersely, not appreciating the teasing undertones the rest of the soldiers took with him. It was obvious, even though he was older now and even taller, the other men saw him as young. Which was, in all fairness, extremely ridiculous because he could transform into a gigantic 17-meter beast and they couldn't.

Well… he did… once…

Shaking his thoughts away from the real reason he knew they traveled out here, Eren grabbed the lantern that sat by his tent flap and flicked it on. The small light of the ember was startling and he had to turn the dial a couple of times to lessen its force. Before long, he was trudging through the trees and looking over the vast plains and even the touch of the mountains that cradled the horizon. In all honesty, it was a beautiful sight.

The stars were out. All millions of them, and they gave the earth around them a gentle light that was almost soothing. If he wasn't so sore and exhausted, Eren would probably enjoy it more, wish that Armin and Mikasa were at his side to enjoy this rare moment of stillness.

When he found a bush, he was already breathing in harder pants, fighting off groans of agony when his muscles insisted he return to bed. Relieving himself eased some of the tension at least, and as he looked around the darkened foliage and the grips of night time, he felt his mind ease back into earlier memories… and inevitably, to the pair of blue eyes that haunted him when he had no choice.

"_Hold your stance here," She had spoken, just inches away from his ear. He had shivered, nerves tingling with new excitement as she directed his limbs higher. _

"_I don't see why I have to do this," He grumbled, trying to forget the way her fingers left flushed spots in his skin. He wished she didn't move them away so quickly, so apathetically. _

"_You're an adequate fighter, Eren… but in the end, adequacy is only a nice word for mediocrity. Your titan form is still controlled by your emotions. Control your body, control your emotions, you can control it." Her eyes blinked back up to him, bearing sharp holes into his stare that had once made his skin crawl. Now it only filled him with a rolling excitement. Made him want to start attacking quickly just so he could have an excuse to touch her. When her eyes flicked back down to his mouth, he almost lunged for her waist—had almost wanted to cause another 'accident' between them and remind himself how hers tasted. She would throw him on his spine, without a doubt… but maybe she would grant him a second or more of contact… _

"_Come," She ordered after she moved away, her hands raising in controlled defense, her legs shifting in the distinctive stance of her fighting style. Eren lunged, his fists tightening and his eyes honing directly over her frame… but despite how every punch and kick hurt and made him grunt… he could feel a twinge of something that he hadn't felt before… _

Air slipped through his teeth in a short sigh, and his mind returned to where his stood—more reluctantly since his legs were now quaking gently. Shaking himself, Eren quickly secured his pants around his waist, when he saw something from the corner of his eyes.

He glanced up, and let out a shout of surprise before falling backwards and landing on his rump.

"Hanji—What the HELL?!" He exclaimed after the woman took several steps away from the bush he had used as a toilet, grinning to herself in that similar manic way that made his anxiety shoot up several levels.

"Not bad, Eren," She whistled, hands on her hips as she picked up the lantern he had left on the ground. The fire had let out a bright burst, casting eerie shadows to dance over her face—making her grin look ever more frightening. "You feel relieved yet?"

A violent heat rose from his neck to tinge his ears a bright red, he scrambled back up to his feet—muscles screaming in response—before facing her with an attempted scowl. _Did she… she didn't see…_ He thought almost desperately, but Hanji's smirk widened.

"I may be wrong but you look like you've grown a couple inches, Eren." She hummed, cheeks burning in a lewd expression. Eren let out a sharp squeak before throwing his hands over his crotch, feeling hugely embarrassed. His reaction was enough to make her head fall back as she let out a bark of laughter. "Oh don't worry, Eren! It's not like I haven't seen it before. Who do you think changed your catheter while you were comatose?"

The revelation made the dread in his stomach force his skin to feel hyper attentive. "B-but, Moblit said he…"

Hanji grinned again as she walked closer to him, "Moblit may have helped at times… but I had been charged as your primary caretaker. Besides, there's very little I haven't seen of you in the name of science, so don't feel too violated."

Eren groaned, head dropping to his chest but instantly regretted it. His neck muscles strained and ached and the action made the rest of his back and spine protest. He lifted a sore arm to rub at the affected area, wincing.

"Still sore, are we?" Hanji asked. Eren nodded, pursing his lips.

"Hasn't really gotten better…" He admitted, but couldn't look into her face directly. The thought of her undressing him while he was asleep made him feel uncomfortable—suddenly he felt worried that she may have done… more than just change the tube that had gone through and toward his bladder… With Hanji, who could possibly tell?

Her previous mischievous attitude paled as she stepped close enough to press a hand over his shoulder, making him drop his hand while her fingers dipped and prodded at the curves of his flesh. He almost flinched but after a moment, relented to her touches. It felt rather nice.

"How about the areas where we drew blood, are they healed?"

Eren lifted his sleeve, scowling at the faint mark of a scab over the crook of his elbow. "No…" He sighed, "Still bruised."

Hanji seemed to take this with some slight disappointment, but she gave him a warm nod. "Don't worry, Eren. We'll be done soon."

They began to walk back to the camp, their footsteps the only sound save the soft hums of crickets and insects alike. "Uh, Hanji…" Eren wondered aloud. "What were you doing out there…?"

"Same thing you were, Eren," She chuckled, turning the intensity of his lamp a little brighter to ease their way through the trees. "Only, I had to take a lot more effort. I've always wished female genitalia could be as easily accessible as the male's. You guys are lucky."

Eren felt his cheeks flush again, wondering how she could speak so bluntly about body parts—not that it embarrassed him a lot. He recalled his father speaking in similar ways as he grew up… but Hanji… she didn't approach it with the same medicinal perspective Grisha had. Even so, Eren couldn't help but follow in dialogue, feeling too tired to hold back or filter his words.

"I wouldn't say that…" Eren grunted with a soft shrug. "It'd be a lot more convenient being able to walk around without worrying about which leg it's going to stick to…"

Hanji laughed again and Eren smiled. "Say, Hanji…" Eren muttered after they began to approach his tent. "…When are you going to have me transform into a Titan? I mean, isn't that the whole reason we came out here for?"

"I never said we'd be asking you to transform, Eren," Hanji replied. The young titan shifter scowled.

"Well… then what's the point of being out here?"

"Well I never said we wouldn't be asking you to transform either." She replied, grinning.

Eren narrowed his eyes at her, feeling exasperated and even irritated. "Okay, so are we or aren't we?" Hanji chortled softly again as they finally reached the front of his tent.

"Don't worry about it, Eren. We'll get to it in time. I'm gathering data right now, so please just bear with me while you can." She said again, and with a tender caress over his head (she had to reach up to do that and the sudden realization of their height difference seemed to hit him square in the gut) she turned off his lantern and walked off. "Try to sleep, okay?"

"W-wait," He called, "Don't you need the light to get back?"

"I trust my feet enough to take me back where I need to go," She called over her shoulder with a wave and headed disappeared in the darkness. Eren waited until her footsteps on the grass faded and he let out a soft sigh before looking back up at the stars, vaguely wondering how his friends were doing and hoping they were at least getting a good night's sleep.

* * *

_TBC_

_I know this chapter was more centered on Jeansasha, but I felt it was needed. I haven't given them much development for a while. 12k should hold you guys for the next little while until I post chapter 8. And yes, I'm posting it right up after this one because I promised a chapter on Thursday and that never happened. So, two chapters for today! :) I may or may not post on Thursday, which is also why I'm posting two today, and that other sucker is long too. Ha. _

_Next chapter, coming right up! Please review! _


	9. VIII: The Vow She Made

_A/N: Wedding time! I'm excited for you guys to read this chapter. It's going to be phenomenal. Also, I realized there have been some questions asked so, quick answers:_

_M3YL3: Yes. You are correct. _

_Anon: The reason why I refer to Historia as Krista in narrative is a decision I made to distinguish character developments. You'll see why in this chapter._

_I think there were a few more, but I can't remember. If you have a question; feel free to send them on. I hope you guys are ready. 19k, that's gotta be a record._

_Disclaimer: *Groan*_

**This chapter's inspired tracks are: Blue Bicycle, Morning, by Hauschka, Coto, by Kashiwa Daisuke, Ljosio (This one is perfect for the wedding scene) by Olafure Arnalds, Advance by Hiroyuki Sawano, Danse Macabre by Zbigniew Preisner**

* * *

**Nimbus**

**-: VIII :-**

**The Vow She Made**

"_Vows made in storm are forgotten in calm"_

_-Thomas Fuller_

* * *

The sound of footsteps echoed and bounced off stone to tease his ears, recoiling from the walls and mimicking the rhythmic beats of the seconds that passed. Connie could feel his palms work up a sweat already and not for the first time did he rub them against his pants, trying in vain to stay calm.

She was late.

She was nearly twenty minutes late.

Each minute that passed only added to the pressure on his nerves, made him want to escape the confines of the room they had agreed to meet during protocolled meetings. Part of him wanted to just take off, forget the fact that they were meeting together and return to entertaining himself with something else instead of waiting for her to show up.

Glancing up at the window, he could see how the sunlight had trailed a good three inches from its last spot against the ground and table. The room felt stuffy the more he paced within its walls and the thought of letting some wind in tempted him to do something more than amble around like a nervous idiot.

Over and over he chanted to himself to calm down, to take it easy, but each repetition of the thought made him want to escape even more.

Several seconds later and Connie had had enough and strode up to the window. It was old, and it looked like it hadn't been opened in more than a century. While the glass and wood looked like they've been scrubbed down to the very molecules, age had proven a worthy adversary for Levi's skilled hands and soap. The edges of the glass were tinted yellow and the wood let off a smell that made Connie cringe. Firmly gripping to the handle, Connie gave a few short shoves, yanking at the metal and pushing at the window with his arm… then shoulder… then fully bracing against it with his body when it refused to give.

His irritation mounted with every passing moment that the window refused to give. He was about to give up when the door suddenly swung open, nearly exactly at the same time the bothersome window finally shoved outwards with a violent creak. Connie only had enough time to let out a startled and confused yelp before he found himself hanging by his waist outside the gaping hole in the wall.

He let out a shout, scrambling his arms to grab at the edge of the window pane, his eyes wildly catching the sight of the fall that waited for him, the way the ground looked so strangely far away.

A sudden hand gripped to the back of his pants before he was firmly yanked back into the room. Connie let out another cry and that was joined by another when the force knocked him and the intruder down on his back.

Hands found their way to grip the back of his head mid-fall, cradling his cranium from hitting the stone roughly. When he looked up, he was met with Li's wide green gaze. He let out a soft grunt, realizing that she was practically laying on top of him.

"You're late." He snapped, narrowing his eyes and trying to hold back the heat that was now staining his cheeks and the stutter his heart was now emitting. At this, Li's eyes fell flat before rolling, a long strand of auburn hair fell from over her ear to tickle his cheek, feather soft.

"You're welcome," She returned dryly, not bothering in being gentle as she retracted her hands from under his head. His head hit the stone then, making him wince.

"Ow," He griped and pushed himself up just as she was pulling away. Scowling, he rubbed at the back of his head, pointedly returning her casual gaze and trying to keep his fingers from shaking. How could she just stand there as if nothing has happened? Because sure enough, she hardly blinked up at him. Just stared. "You know," He began, "if we're going to be meeting like this, might as well be on time."

Li gave him a noncommittal shrug, "I was held back."

"By what?" The question came out easily. Once upon a time, he wouldn't have dared ask—but it seemed that the past few times they had met knocked down those walls fairly easily… or rather… those past few times they ended up ferociously making out. Which still only counted two times… sometimes when they'd be sitting at the table and he dared a glance to her side, he would find himself under an intense stare. He didn't know whether she was imagining ripping his lips off with her own or wanting to kill him…

Maybe both.

The tension didn't ease at all since the stag night, and the topic made his chest churn with irritation, desire, and a sudden curiosity that hadn't been noticed before.

"My sister," Li admitted before sliding down on a chair, Connie blinked in surprise. "She's been on my case since she figured out who you were. I had to plan out and elaborate scheme to distract her and cover my scent."

"How'd you do that?"

"I found Fitz and ordered him to help her pick up a mess in the gardens. I'm sure they're probably talking right now…" She trailed off, a wistful expression on her face that appeared strangely… relieved. Connie tried not to gawk, and found himself sitting down on the other chair. A brisk breeze filtered through the open window, making him shiver. A strange silence filled between them… Well, it felt strange… more because… it honestly felt the closest he could compare it to the word 'comfortable.'

"Your sister…" He said after clearing his throat, and feeling strangely timid in breaking the silence. "You mentioned she was… in love with Fitz?"

Li lifted a hand to brush a trembling lock of auburn from her cheek, raising a brow, "Yeah. You know him right?"

"I think so…" He admitted, trying to remember whether or not that had been the guy that saved Sasha from getting killed just two days ago. His musings stopped short when he realized that there were only two days until the wedding… it's not like it took him by surprise. These past couple of days everyone had been bustling in an out and fixing the dining hall to make it more presentable—even arguments between the MP's and their men had died down due to the added pressure and hype. In these past few days, it was as if everyone had forgotten what had transpired the night of the Poltrabend, rushing this way and that and beaming when Armin and Krista appeared down the hallways hand in hand. Their affection for each other seemed to have taken a contagious edge—even Sasha and Jean were gazing into each other's eyes with syrupy smiles and timid touches that made them both flush.

It was rather sickening… but, it was also pretty nice from the way they had all been before. All brooding faces and scowls…

"I've been trying to set him with my sister for a while now," Li sighed before crossing a leg over the other, leaning an elbow against the table. "She's been ogling him since she met him nearly three years ago. He's a dimwit, though. Can't see sense if someone slapped him with it. Not so different from you, actually."

Connie rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, "You're too kind."

Li flashed him a sudden smirk, his stomach wobbled. "Only difference from him and you is that I haven't kissed him yet."

And there it was. Connie felt his cheeks darken once more, still not used to her blunt way of approaching topics and he struggled to hold back from doing something stupid. It didn't help that after she had said that her eyes seemed to have sharpened their focus over him, cutting at his resolution to imitate stone. The more he met her gaze, the more he found his stomach spin with heat. He had to clear his throat again, hating how much her focus thrilled him—hating how she knew how much power she had over him and used it without respite.

"Yet?" He muttered, taking the topic in another direction. Li shrugged again.

"He's been rather smitten by me for a while now. A reason why it's been so hard to get him to focus more on Riza. I don't know though… maybe after we fail this botched up engagement I could give him a chance and see if he's worth the fuss Riza keeps pouring over him."

This was one of those times that Connie wasn't sure she was joking or not. She spoke so casually, as if it were so easy to admit to stealing her sister's romantic affection at the expense of failure. Li's eyes brightened back with yet another epiphany, "Hey, she said you were cute. Maybe you can find a better match with her. We can marry and have equal affairs with the two of them. Give the old marriage values a good turn on their heads, don't you think?"

"Hilarious," He replied, feeling his stomach sour as she continued to speak. Just when he finished speaking did he catch something in her eyes and the sourness faded to a faint comprehension. _Wait… _"You're angry." He observed.

Li's fingers gave a twitch, but her face did not fall from the light poker it maintained. Yet, Connie had been watching and where her face maintained its composure, her eyes had hardened against his. _There it is. _Of course, she's angry. She must be. Meaning… this situation with her sister was a lot more personal than she made it out to be. "I'm always angry," She replied with yet another shrug, but her eyes took on yet another sharp edge that challenged him to back off.

He didn't bite.

"I thought you couldn't stand your sister." He pointed out, recalling a time when she had ranted about how she wished she had been an only child. But he didn't know the things he knew about Li then, only half-listening as she went on and on about Riza's thorn-like effects.

"I don't." But her eyes told him another story.

"I don't think so," Connie said, finding himself pushing himself forward to lean his elbows on his knees. "I think you hate the fact that your sister has had such poor luck with this guy. You care more than you let on."

"It's a good thing I didn't ask you what you thought," She shot back and he could practically taste the venom in her throat, the strange way she recoiled when he approached something she wanted to keep out of reach.

"Then why even bring it up?" he asked, edging himself until he was at the end of his seat and several inches closer to her. Li's green eyes narrowed, pink lips pursing almost unnoticeably. "If your sister means that much to you, you should do more than shove her away, Li. Unless…" his mind was racing before he recalled something she had said before smiling and leaning away.

"What…?" her voice was strangely tight.

Connie let out a soft breath that sounded like a chuckle, "Nothing, it's just… you have a funny way of showing your affection is all."

"Oh, really?" She asked and the way she said it made his stomach wobble again. Suddenly, Connie knew exactly what she was going to do. She had done it before. It usually came after he had make a discovery about her personality, a curve ball that she threw at him to make him re-think his musings and try to push the favor back into her hands. He knew this because he was still haunted by the effects of said curve ball examples late at night… still waking up to sweat drenched sheets and tight and moistened underwear…

Connie braced himself the instant she was out of her chair and ambling up to him. He swallowed thickly when his eyes caught the way her hips swayed as she stepped toward him—reminding him far too much of the stag night and the sight of seeing the clothes peeling off her skin…

"Hate to break it to you, Connie." She said, looking down her nose into his eyes, her hand finding its way to brace against his collar and instantly his heartbeat began to gallop into a sprint. "But you should know by now that I'm not affectionate."

Whether it was to gain an advantage or because his body was feeling a strange surge tingle through his veins, Connie didn't know, but he said nothing as he felt his hands rise to grip her hips—making her eyes widen just a fraction and her fingers to shudder against his neck.

"What are you doing?" Her voice had lowered into a whisper and a flash of uncertainty played behind her eyes—she had not expected him to react how he was now.

"Nothing," He replied and could feel somewhat elated when his voice remained steady, as if completely unaffected by her proximity. "But, I could ask you the same thing."

There was a standstill between them that lasted a long moment. Green eyes narrowed, as if accepting a challenge he hadn't been aware he had presented when she was suddenly nudging a knee between his legs. The action made the breath catch in his throat and he could only lift his grip on her hips to tug at her waist, Li shivered and she was digging her hands under his jacket, testing him. It only occurred to Connie then that this was a new game… that the challenge was to see who would break first.

The thrill in his blood nearly scalded him from the inside out and he tried to keep his breathing steady when he let his own hands find the belts at her sides before giving them a firm yank. Li let out a tiny hiss through gritted teeth, emerald gaze darkening as she ran her hands down his shoulders to the firmness of his chest, exploring the taut muscle with greedy fingers. Connie had to bite back the moan growing in the back of his throat, knowing that if he did… he would lose. And losing meant her pulling away… meant her grinning and leaving him in the now cold room in his frustration.

No way.

For a moment, his mind blanked out when her fingers found the belt that crossed his chest, thumbs caressing the sensitive peaks beneath his shirt and his hands fell in surprise at the sensation before gripping something firm and soft.

Li let out a gasp and Connie felt it sober his mind when he noticed that his grip had landed on the curve of her rear. He almost pushed away completely if not for the way she suddenly grabbed his jacket and practically threw him out of the chair.

"Oh, that is _it_." She growled, eyes heavy with something that made his chest dip into his stomach. "I have had it with you challenging me at every toss and turn."

Connie could feel a touch of outrage at her comment, but was distracted by the color of her freckles deepening in contrast to the flush burning in her cheeks—whether it was angry or otherwise, he could hardly tell. "Get used to it," He retorted and just like that her eyes were widening again and the next thing he knew their lips were crashing against each other and he forgot if he had been the one to move of if it had been her. All that mattered was feeling her kiss him in ways that made his brain scatter completely.

_Am I dreaming…?_ The thought came and went, flying out the proverbial window when he felt her tug insistently at the belts at his side to bring him closer to her chest. His hand had found a spot beneath the cradle of her jaw, plastering his mouth more firmly against hers and not knowing who was seeking entrance into the other's mouth. The second their tongues grazed past each other, Li let out a strange whimper. Her hands slid from his waist to wrap around his neck, bringing him further closer against her and nearly making them topple over from the sudden force.

They stumbled, hips hitting the table and forcing them to break away in order to steady themselves from colliding with the ground.

Green met amber as another brisk wind blew into the room, chilling at their skin and quelling some of the raging heat building in their chests. Connie could feel the desire to grab her again, to taste the strange tart and bitter taste that came from her mouth and understand its complexity in every sense possible, but something made him stop and forced him to listen to the way her breathing shook near his.

"What… is this…?" He asked, Li's eyes crinkled as she frowned, not catching his drift. To emphasize his point, he dipped his chin, lightly nipping at her lips and loving the way her breath caught in a tiny gasp against her throat as he did so.

"I, honestly, do not care," She replied, lifting herself on her toes and making him feel the way their chests rubbed together. Even while her voice sounded controlled, there was an edge to it that made him feel oddly wild. It was unbelievably enticing. "But, you piss me the hell off."

"You're not exactly a sweetheart yourself," He grunted, wanting to roll his eyes, but ended up unable to resist kissing her again. It was like tasting something strange yet exquisite, because it felt both forbidden and liberating. When he pulled away, she was smirking into his eyes, and his chest gave an uncertain lurch that both excited him and frightened him.

"I have a thought," She said before dipping her chin to press her lips against his throat. Connie let out a soft exclamation, his knees wobbling when he felt her tongue lap against his pulse.

"O-o-oh yeah?" He wheezed, voice hitting awkward pitches when she gave his skin a soft nip of teeth. The heat was becoming almost unbearable now.

"We're basically," She pulled away before attacking another part of his skin as his hands roamed under her jacket to fall on the swell of her hips. "Stuck in this," she kissed his jaw, "Ridiculous and inevitable," she moved up toward his ear, Connie nearly whimpered. "Engagement in which we, at some point, have to do it enough times to finally have children…"

"Uh-huh…" He breathed, pushing at her jaw with his before dipping his chin to find the base of her throat. She let out a soft gasp, fingers digging into his jacket when he found a sweet spot.

"So, the way I see it…" She sighed, wrapping her arms closer around his neck to give him more access to her neck. "…Why not make this otherwise horrible experience…_Ah…_" She pulled away and met his clouded gaze with her own dark one. "A little more… enjoyable?"

Connie felt himself pause, then, "What are you implying?"

"I think you know exactly what I'm implying."

A smirk of his own lifted his lips, nearly scoffing, "Are you implying you want to have sex with me, Hanna Li Dorinski?"

She laughed and the sound made him feel lightheaded, "Getting ahead of yourself, Connie Springer. And no," her words actually made him feel disappointed. She seemed to catch this before smirking with a victorious glint to her eyes. "I don't… but… I'm willing to allow you an audition."

"The hell does that mean?"

"It means, I don't want any strings attached," She rolled her eyes. "The last thing I want is to allow the government any more exclusive rights over me. If I'm obeying orders, I'll at least follow them in the way I can with what freedom I have left."

Connie's eyebrows lifted, surprised and even impressed. He understood exactly what she meant. This whole mandate had forced them to accept the role of giving away their bodies in order to establish Humanity's freedom…this was Li's way of getting retribution, her way of dealing with these new shackles that enslaved them to each other. They may be forced to marry… but if they could control the fate of their own hearts, it would be enough to still make them feel like there was some choice involved.

For the first time in a while, Connie found himself agreeing with her.

"No strings attached?" He asked. She nodded, the motion making their noses brush together.

"None." She confirmed. Connie wrapped the full length of his arms around her waist before hoisting her up on the table, swallowing the gasp she let out when he did so.

"Deal." He said before sealing his mouth against hers and allowing himself a moment to enjoy the way her fingers reached up to run over his scalp while he drowned in the tart and bitterness that was this taste of freedom.

"Make it worth my while."

"Just, _shut up_."

* * *

When Armin woke that Saturday morning, it was to an empty bed and a swollen heart. Blue eyes blinking with startled surprise, he lifted his bed tossed head to look around the expanse of his room, in search of another blonde head that was missing from his side. Curled within his embrace was the soft form of a plush pillow and he had to remind himself why, oh why, was Krista gone from the comforts of bed so early in the morning.

It wasn't until his eyes landed on the fine looking suit hanging over his closet that he felt his brain return to the present and shoot him full of excited adrenaline. Shoving the treacherous pillow away, and spitting out a few strands of hair that had fallen in his mouth while he slept, Armin pulled himself off his bed. Right on cue, several poundings on his door alerted his wide gaze away from the suit and the promise it held when he slid it on.

"Armin!" He heard Jean's unmistakable voice over the barrier of wood and metal. "Rise and shine, buddy! Time to get all prepped up for your wedding day!"

Armin hurried over to his door before yanking it open, fast enough to see Jean flinch away, startled, and looking at him with a wide eyed expression.

"It's my wedding day!" Armin nearly shouted, as if it was the very best day of his life. And it absolutely was.

Jean rolled his eyes, "Good morning to you too, Lance Corporal."

"It's finally here, man!" Armin exclaimed, reaching over to yank Jean into his room, but the taller man lifted a hand to stop him.

"Dude," He scolded, "What did we discuss about manliness?"

The blond soldier nearly threw his arms in the air, "Not this again."

Jean shook his head, "You're about to marry one of the Corps' most beautiful women and you're acting like the bride herself. I knew that mission where you pretended to be Historia would make you behave like a girl."

Armin groaned, "Jean."

Jean fixed him a sturdy glance, "I'm serious. Try again."

The Lance Corporal relented and shut the door back on the man's face, as if completely forgetting he was higher in rank to disregard the other man's orders. Nevertheless, Armin composed himself and donned a mask of calm and so-called 'aloofness' that Jean had been careful in teaching him this past week. Slowly, he opened his door and fixed the expectant man a casual look before jerking his chin up.

"Hey, Jean." He greeted, perfectly calm. "Come on in."

Jean smiled before nodding sagely, "Now that's more like it, my friend." Slapping the groom on the shoulder, the other man walked in the room and waited for Armin to shut the door.

The second the door shut, Jean grabbed Armin by the shoulders before screaming, "You're getting married, man!"

"I'm getting married!" Armin shouted back as the two exclaiming soldiers jumped up and down, laughing and squealing to each other with excitement. For a while they did this, Jean grabbing at one of his pillows before slapping the plush object into Armin's face.

"Okay, okay," Jean snapped, feigning gruffness despite the laughter still falling from Armin's lips. "Calm down. You're a man. Be a man."

Lance Corporal Armin nodded with mock-serious, failing in holding back a grin when Jean reached over to shove him to the side. "You think the girls are freaking out right now?" the blond asked, chuckling after Jean pushed off the side of the bed and adjusted his uniform jacket.

"I think they've been freaking out," He replied with a toothy grin. "Come on, future Mr. Reiss, you've got a suit to put on."

"You got it backwards," Armin laughed and followed them man over to his closet.

"No, I didn't," Jean replied just as Armin agreed.

"No, you didn't."

They shared another laugh and Armin settled on discarding his clothes while Jean reached over to the suit and began to pass him pieces of clothes. "So," Jean jumped straight into it. "Most of the Elite Guard have arrived, and even some of the Court's handlers came in last night. Basically, I'm glad you guys ended up deciding to move the whole thing into the Dining hall—which looks freaking awesome, by the way."

Armin rolled his eyes, before accepting the shirt Jean was tossing over to him and sliding it over his bare arms, "You mean what you and Historia decided."

"For you, by proxy," Jean corrected with a shrug before his face settled into a serious expression. "Wait… did you brush your teeth yet?"

Armin's arms fell, his face contorting into a wide look of exasperation. Jean gawked at him, "Are you freaking kidding me, Arlert? You're getting married to the Goddess of the Corp and you didn't think to brush your freaking mouth? Get out of my face and do it now, man. Nasty—No, no! Don't go and do it with your dress shirt on! You'll get paste all over it and we'll have to find you another one. Take it off!"

"You're worse than Mikasa," Armin grumbled, before unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it over to Jean before disappearing behind the washroom near his closet.

"Did you remember to bathe last night?" Jean shouted as he looked over the clothes.

"_Yes!_" Armin shouted back, sounding far more exasperated than he had before. Jean let out a short chuckle, shaking his head when Armin returned and having looked as if he had also brushed his hair and washed the rest of his face. "For such talk about being a man, you sure cluck like a mother hen."

Jean frowned at him, "Shut up and put your clothes on—on second thought, don't put the suit on yet."

"—What, why?!"

"You have to eat breakfast and even though you eat far daintier than even Historia, I'm not having any accidents with this suit. She asked me specifically not to allow you to soil your clothes before you get married. Bride's orders."

Armin sighed heavily but obeyed, laughing under his breath when Jean addressed to Krista as the Bride. It filled him to the brim with undying joy and warmth, making him feel lighter than air. Sure enough, he had changed into a simple uniform, going so far as slapping Jean away when the older man attempted to put his hair in a different style from his usual half-up. On their way to the dining hall, Armin was pleased to see bright sunlight cascade through the high windows in the hallways, and as they passed he allowed himself a moment to look up and through the windows toward the sky.

Big puffy clouds hugged the spaces of the massive blue canopy, bright and cheerful despite the past few days cast in dark gray and heavy bursts of wind. It seemed like the wind had blown most of the dark away to give them a rare day of sun.

Armin grinned, beaming up at the strips of blue in the air before glancing back down—only his eyes returned just as quickly back out the windows, smile fading lightly when a flash of green grabbed his attention.

_What was…?_

"Hey, Armin, you waiting for the weather to change?" Jean called ahead of him. "Come on, let's eat before Sasha finds out their serving hash browns!"

Armin nodded vaguely, his blue eyes roaming the sky above for a sign of the source of the strange flashing green. _Are they doing 3DMG drills or something…? _He thought to himself. After Jean called him back again, Armin pushed the thought aside before jogging up to match the senior cadet's longer strides. _Probably taking advantage of the nice weather_, he thought to himself with a shrug. Glad, at least, that more people were enjoying themselves on this day.

The day of his and Historia's wedding.

* * *

Soft hands pressed down on white fabric, feeling and relishing the feel of lace and silk against dainty fingertips. Blue eyes took in the sight of the figure looking back in the long mirror. Short, yet regal. It was strange, seeing blonde hair that usually rested in a loose ponytail against her back, tied back into intricate curls and braids against her scalp. Even after the swift hour of hair preparation, her scalp still tingled with the feel of fingers running and tugging at her hair.

It was mid-morning, and Krista was gazing at the image of a woman dressed in white, watching her fidget with the hem of her sash and feeling the way the material fell down to the ground in a short train that ended a foot or so behind her. This woman didn't harbor the same haunted expression she had seen years ago, didn't have the same pain or emptiness that had dominated most of her life and experienced the loss of friends… and a loving partner.

Blue eyes fell over the curve of soft hands, hands that had ripped into Titan flesh with swords and felt the sting of hot blood—it was always a source of surprise to her when people commented on the softness of her palms, as if they could ignore the calluses that had grown over the pads of her fingers.

Standing in front of her, Krista did not see the image of a woman who had been raised as a reject to a noble family, the empty soul of a girl who had been beaten and rejected by a mother that soon died before her very eyes. She didn't even see the soldier that girl had grown up to be, the hardness that had once tightened her blue eyes into sharp ice.

She saw a woman, soft and gentle and full of love—but saw the resolution that made her weight of her hands steady and move in slow touches against the beautiful dress. Not the noblewoman her blood had been bastardized with, but the woman formed by choices and ultimately, the love of her friends.

Krista took a moment and smiled, watching how the smile looked genuine, even felt genuine against her mouth. Sure enough she could see shuffling in the background and saw Mikasa appear behind her, smiling her usual small smile.

"You look lovely, Historia," Mikasa muttered quietly. Krista beamed up at her through the reflection of the glass, cheeks flushing prettily beneath her blue eyes.

"Armin is one lucky guy," Sasha crowed from behind them, sitting out of reach from the mirror's grip. "You look absolutely stunning."

Krista felt her chest swell with warmth. She finally turned away from the mirror to face her comrades fully, gazing at them with a watery gaze that had filled before she could least expect it.

"I'm getting married," She whispered, half sobbing with happiness and Mikasa's gaze seemed to burn with full affection. Behind her, Sasha grinned back, sitting carefully against a plush chair and popping cherries from a large bowl into her mouth.

"You certainly are," Mikasa nodded, lifting her hands to cradle her bare elbows. The soft lilac dress hugged her frame tightly, exposing muscle and toned curves a little too well, much to the girl's obvious discomfort. Krista didn't seem to mind, appreciating the way it made the Oriental look, as it cast her in a refreshing light that made her seem more feminine than a uniform could. "I wish you wouldn't insist on me wearing this, though," Mikasa sighed.

Krista giggled, wiping at stray tears before pressing soft fingers against Mikasa's forearm. "You look beautiful, Mikasa. I'm sure the Captain will love it."

"If he doesn't ravish you the second he sees you, I'm calling gay." Mikasa rolled her eyes at Sasha before extending her arm to let Krista slide her hand to link their palms together. It was a strange contact, as neither woman had ever displayed that kind of physical affection, but there was a warmth in their chests as they smiled at one another, brought together in this rare moment of happiness and camaraderie.

"He better not," the raven haired woman replied, "He's still in trouble."

Sasha let out a bright gasp, "Seriously? It's been practically a whole week! You've got serious will power woman. I don't think I could deal one night without Jean."

"That's because you're depraved," Mikasa retorted and easily dodged the cherry Sasha tossed with a mock-gasp of shock. "And anyway, aren't you done eating already? You've been eating nonstop since breakfast."

The auburn haired woman flashed them a lewd grin, reclining on the chair and adjusting her matching lilac dress to allow her to extend her legs up on the table in front of her. The whole surface was covered in sweets and bottles of wine for the Bride's disposal—and Sasha was milking every bit of it. "What can I say? A girl needs to recuperate the calories burned in the throes of passion."

Krista colored brightly, exclaiming, "Sasha!" The two other women laughed at varying intensities, Mikasa giving soft chuckles to Sasha's boisterous guffaws.

"You'll know what I mean, Historia," Sasha chuckled, wiggling an eyebrow. "Just wait until tonight and you'll know exactly what I mean."

"You're ridiculous," Krista sighed but her lips remained in their bright smiling position, and her cheeks faded in rosy hue as she turned back to look at her reflection in the mirror. "But, I guess you're not wrong, either. It's kind of weird, though… Armin and I have been waiting for this night since before he proposed…"

Mikasa's smile softened as she walked behind the white-dressed woman to grab the bouquet of edelweiss, lilacs and lilies, fingers pushing baby's breath out of the way of the ribbon that held the bouquet together. "The first time is the most special," Mikasa said before turning and placing the arrangement within Krista's waiting hands. "My first time with Levi was the first time I spent with anyone, and it was beautiful as it was sad."

"Sad?" Krista asked, peering up curiously at the taller woman. Mikasa nodded.

"We were both convinced that it would be the only night we would be able to have together," She said softly, lifting a tentative hand to brush the lock of blonde hair that fell between Krista's eyes. "But, when we discovered we were matched together… the night we spent after was far more enthusiastic. You're lucky, Historia. You and Armin were far stronger in your love for each other than either I or Levi could do or understand."

"That's not true…" the young blond denied, frowning lightly. "I mean… I don't think so."

Mikasa blinked with surprise, but said nothing while Krista ducked her chin to look back at the bouquet, feeling sheepish. "Even though you two hurt each other… you were able to forgive each other, and that's a strength not everyone has. Even after so much time was spent in pride… your love was strong enough to overcome that. Armin and I… we admire you both so much."

"Historia…" Mikasa breathed, deeply moved by the shorter woman's words.

"Not just them, though," Sasha piped up, lifting herself off the chair slowly, grimacing with light pain before moving closer to the other two girls. Placing a hand over Mikasa's shoulder, the auburn haired woman beamed up at her, "Jean and I also admire you both, too. You don't realize this, Mikasa, but you and the Captain have done so much more for the rest of us than you know."

Mikasa pursed her lips before smiling, not sure how to take such kind words. "Thank you… both of you."

A sudden knock on the door interrupted the moment between the three women. Exchanging curious looks, Sasha let out a loud, "Who is it?!"

"Li," they heard and Krista's hands tightened over her bouquet. "…And Riza!" they heard another voice pipe up.

Mikasa glanced over at Krista, noting the girl's discomfort. "I can turn them away, if you'd like."

The petite woman gave her a grateful smile, but shook her head, "It's alright. It's my wedding day and I get the feeling Li may want to talk about what happened last week."

"If you're sure," Mikasa nodded, and the two watched as Sasha walked over to the door, brushing them off when Mikasa attempted to stop her. The door swung open to reveal the short and auburn haired senior cadet, at her side stood a taller woman who bore striking similarities in appearances.

"Good morning!" the taller one exclaimed, Riza, if Krista wasn't mistaken. Before they could register, Riza's green eyes brightened when they landed on Krista, gasping loudly and moving quickly past Sasha and Mikasa. "Oh my goodness!" She exclaimed, lifting her hands to clasp around Krista's grip on the bouquet, smiling brightly. "You must be Krista Lenz—no wait… Historia Reiss! I'm so happy to meet you, and can I just say how beautiful you look? I've always wanted to attend a wedding, so please allow me to attend!"

"Riza," Li's voice came from behind, reprimanding and sounding somewhat embarrassed. "What did we just finish talking about?"

"It's alright," Krista chuckled, but glanced over at the other women with an uneasy smile, no doubt not having expected to be approached so warmly by a stranger. "I'd be happy if you attended…Riza, is it?"

"Riza Alexandra Dorinski," the woman nodded, grinning with all her teeth and gripping her hands a little tighter. "Please call me Riza, I look forward to being your friend!" Krista could only smile back before Riza was pulled away, wincing when Li had grabbed hold of her ponytail and give it a quick yank.

"Please forgive my little sister," Li said, still gripping to Riza's hair and fixing the taller Dorinski a flat glare. "She has little understanding of boundaries."

"Must run in the family," Sasha mused with a smirk. At this Li let go of her sister's hair, cheeks burning and darkening her freckles. The unusual expression made Krista's initial discomfort waver, knowing full well that Sasha's quip had been concerning the stag night.

"About that…" Li breathed before dropping her hands to hide behind her back, a simple 'at ease' stance that would have made her look respectful and attentive, if not for the refusal to meet Krista's blue gaze. "I… want to apologize."

"Apologize?" Krista parroted, feeling surprised at seeing the usually terse woman appear so...vulnerable. Well, vulnerable may not be the right word. People are vulnerable they appear like they've been ripped open. Li looked more like she had forced some of her layers apart…but not all. Li nodded slowly before she fixed them all a piercing stare.

"I don't know you aside from the fact that you are friends of Connie, and aside from other reputations I have heard and been aware of…I wasn't aware of your relationships. I don't have any explanation that can appease you. I was angry, I made a brash decision at the expense of your feelings just to give the guys a good time…" She trailed off before fixing Krista a firm gaze that made the blonde woman jump slightly, "I understand now, that I shouldn't allow my emotions to get the better of me. Please forgive me."

Krista blinked several times, astonished. After a short moment, the bride looked away, contemplating for a short while before smiling and gave Li a nod. "I accept your apology," She said and Li let out a short sigh. "I'm glad that Connie's matched to a girl like you."

Li frowned, "Oh really?"

The blonde giggled, "You seem like you're quite a match for him. Connie's been my friend for a long time now… he believed in me and another dear love of mine when there were few who did so and I've hardly ever seen him look so… put out of his comfort zone."

"Sounds like a bad thing," Riza chortled. Krista shook her head, blonde bangs bouncing against her cheeks and strands of her braided and tied back hair fell. It didn't look bad at all.

"Oh no, if Connie needs anything," Krista grinned. "It's someone who gets him out of that comfort zone. He's so bored all the time."

Li smiled, and rolled her eyes, "Well, I think it's safe to say I put everyone out of their comfort zone. If it helps, Armin never did anything. He just froze and sat there. I think he may have passed out at some point." To their relief and mild surprised, Krista let out a bright laugh that the other girls followed with giggles and chuckles of their own.

"Well, that's good to hear…" The blonde woman giggled, "I think."

"Oh wow," Riza suddenly exclaimed, green eyes widening. "You guys have chocolate?"

Sasha seemed to have caught the contagion of excitement, moving quickly toward a box of the sweets and lifting them up toward the other woman, "Help yourself, Riza! We've even got our own bottle of wine. Lucky for us, Mikasa doesn't like it so more for us." She finished with a wink.

"I don't dislike white wine," Mikasa retorted, crossing her arms and shooting a frown at the bottles of wine and the glasses that had been filled but remained unfinished. "This type just tastes wrong, that's all."

"But, we already tasted them," Krista sighed, "They all taste fine."

"Let me have a taste!" Riza exclaimed and grabbed a glass off the table and chugged its contents down, much to Li's grunt of disapproval. "I've never tried white wine before, it tastes nice! Kind of tart, can't imagine why you hate it," the girl smiled over to Mikasa. The raven haired woman shrugged dismissively. Riza took another sip of the wine before walking over to Sasha, nudging the girl playfully before sitting down on a chair.

"This is so nice," Riza whistled, looking over the nice sitting room and over the spread of candies and drinks, "Can't wait 'til I get married."

If Krista hadn't still been paying attention to the shortest sister, she probably would have missed it. The instant Riza had said that, Li's eyes tightened, as if the comment had wounded her, but made no other motion aside from shifting her weight casually.

"I can't either," Sasha agreed and hesitated in popping a truffle in her mouth, as if just remembering something important. A small smile lit her lips, "And you know, I'm going to beat you there, Dorinski."

Riza cocked an eyebrow while the other women gave her similarly confused looks. Sasha tossed the chocolate into her mouth, blushing, "I wanted to wait until after the wedding to tell you guys the news," She trailed off, taking a moment to swallow back the last of the sweet. Krista's eyes slowly widened, her mind rapidly connecting the dots, the breath left her chest.

Mikasa and Li exchanged curious glances before they were met with Sasha's bright smile of enthusiasm, "Jean proposed a few nights ago."

"What?!" Krista exclaimed, nearly dropping her bouquet as her hands jumped up to her lips. Mikasa's eyes widened and watched as Krista let out a bright squeal and laugh before launching into Sasha's arms, bouncing with happiness. "Sasha, oh my goodness, how wonderful!"

"Congratulations!" Mikasa chuckled after Krista pulled away, giving the tall and blushing girl a warm hug.

"Well, it's about damn time," Li crowed, shaking her head with a smile of her own. "Didn't think Kirschstein had it in him."

As if on cue, another knock struck the door, pausing the ecstatic squeals from Sasha and Krista's direction. Instead of waiting for an invitation, the door slid open and Jean's head peeked in, looking partially alarmed. "Speak of the devil," Li hummed.

"Is everything okay? I heard screaming." He said as he stepped into the room and deciding everyone was decent. He wasn't wearing the usual uniform, instead his body was dressed in a black suit that appeared too well fitted—hugging his chest and waist in a way that instantly caught the women's attention. Sasha blushed, smiling stupidly when she looked him over. He didn't seem to notice, eyes landing on the person closest to the door—which ended up being Li—and narrowed. Nose wrinkling, he lifted a finger at her, asking gruffly, "Oi, what are you doing here?"

"Telling your girlfriend how much you loved me taking my clothes off," Li replied with a smirk, not at all affronted by his rude greeting. "Thanks for the extra euros, by the way. They really kept my hip warm." The unexpected comment made Jean sputter, his cheeks flushing bright red and looking absolutely shocked.

"I didn't—!" He began, looking away in time to meet Sasha's gaze. The stupid smile was gone now, lips curling downward at Li's words. Sasha gave Jean a violent stare, pulling away from Krista's embrace to burn accusatory daggers against her boyfriend's expression.

"What's this about you putting money under her underwear, Jean?"

"Oho, Jean's in trouble. Is the wedding off then?" Riza asked through a mouthful of chocolate, giggling behind a hand. Jean shot Riza another glare.

"Oh, shut up, Riza. You're as bad as your sister." He snapped before looking back at Sasha with a sheepish smile.

"No, she's not." Li retorted but didn't fight back the grin that followed when Sasha took several steps toward Jean. He looked absolutely ready to faint.

"Sasha, before you get mad, I just want to first say, I was really drunk—,"

The red-haired woman flared, "Oh?! Real drunk, were you?!"

"Poor choice of an opening sentence," Riza sighed, Li and Mikasa nodded in agreement. Before the argument could scale any further, Krista was taking several steps between them, lifting her hands (plus bouquet) in a ceasing supplication, blue eyes in a firm stare.

"None of this! The both of you!" She scolded, "I'll have no fighting or problems on my wedding day, or so help me I'll call Captain Levi and have him and Mikasa throw you two in the kitchen dumpster!"

"Sasha would love that!"

"Shut up, Riza!" Everyone sans Mikasa exclaimed. The girl shrugged and returned to stuffing chocolates in her mouth.

"Apologize!" Krista huffed, glaring pointedly at Jean. A silence filled them while Jean scowled, looking like he had been caught lying about something ridiculous but relented after Krista gave him an especially firm frown, when he looked back up, Sasha was pointedly keeping her gaze elsewhere.

"I'm…sorry, Sasha." Jean sighed, "I'm sorry I stuffed my money down Li's underwear."

"I'm not." Li chuckled but closed her mouth after a pointed look from everyone else. Riza giggled and tossed her sister a chocolate. The girl caught it and popped it in her mouth before doing a zipping motion over her lips with her fingers. Nodding, Krista looked back at Jean.

"That's not what you should be apologizing about. The whole stag night was a bad idea, Jean. It was insensitive."

"Holding bachelor party for Armin?" Jean exclaimed, looking exasperated.

"Hiring Li as the stripper for the party," Mikasa clarified, rolling onyx eyes toward the other women. Li shrugged but said nothing while Sasha and Krista nodded. "Eren _did_ try to tell you it was a bad idea."

"Yeah but I didn't hire Li, Eren did that!" Jean said defensively.

"Because _you_ pressured him," Krista huffed, pressing a slender digit against Jean's chest. "And besides, how would you feel if you found out Sasha had some guy do to her what Li did to Armin? Exactly. Get it now? You owe me and Sasha an apology."

At this point, Jean let out a sharp huff of air, blushing under all their attention. "Fine, fine…" He grumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck and looking thoroughly reprimanded. "I'm sorry I pressured Eren into hiring Li as the strip—whoa hold on, you didn't have to say yes!" He exploded, whirling on Li.

Again, the girl shrugged, "And I already apologized for that. Nice try. Now finish apologizing."

Chest deflating, Jean gave a huge sway of his arms, exasperated but let his hands fall to his hips. From the corner of her eyes, Krista caught Sasha taking a peek back over to Jean's clothes, a tinge of a blush staining her cheeks. "Alright, I'm sorry for getting a stripper for Armin's bachelor party—especially after he had told us not to… and even though it was hilarious to see Armin freeze up like he did…" He added with a chuckle, but trailed off when the women (save Li and Riza, they smirked) didn't seem to find the humor in his statement. He sighed again, "I'm sorry, Krista… Sasha. It won't happen again."

"It better not," Sasha grumbled but pushed past Krista to grab onto his tie before pulling him down for a kiss. "Unless it's from you, then it better not."

The rest of Jean's face burned a bright red, but returned his girlfriend's kiss with a hidden grin. When they pulled away, Jean looked over to the other women with a pleasant look, "Well, it's nice to see you girls all dressed up. Historia, you look especially lovely."

"Flattery really is his best weapon," Mikasa said wryly to the other redheaded women. Li and Riza shared a chuckle at that, much to Jean's chagrin.

"But, speaking of Eren," He spoke again, lacing his fingers through Sasha's when she pulled against his chest and kissed his jaw. "Mikasa, you wouldn't know if he's back yet, would you?"

At the mention of her brother, Mikasa let out a soft sigh of disappointment, "I don't. When the left on Monday, all I got from him was a note he had given Keiji to pass to me. It only said that they'd be back in time for the wedding."

"He does know the wedding's at noon, right?" He asked, frowning again. Krista's eyebrows linked together over her nose, looking away thoughtfully. "He's only got three hours until then."

Mikasa pursed her lips, straightening from her place by one of the chairs to move toward them, "I'll go find Levi, maybe he knows about them arriving."

"I don't." Levi's voice appeared from behind the open door, appearing from behind Jean. He was also dressed in a black suit that seemed to fit too well, dark hair combed back save a couple of strands that fell over his forehead despite the fingers that flicked them back. The second Jean and Sasha stepped away to give him better walking space, the women in the room all let out tiny gasps, drinking in the image of Captain Levi so impeccably dressed. Mikasa's cheeks burned a bright scarlet, admiring her fiancé and frozen mid-stride. In a flash, Levi's attention landed over Mikasa and he too froze, jaw going slack as he looked over her bare shoulders and the color of lilac draped around her form in a dress that hugged her curves and flared below her hips.

It was as if someone had switched the room for a furnace, and soon everyone could feel themselves bake before the power of Levi and Mikasa's smoldering stares into each other's eyes. A small smirk lit over the corner of Levi's lips, (Riza gave yet another little gasp and began to fan herself) and he seemed to really enjoy the attention from Mikasa because he was slowly placing his hands in his pockets.

"You look nice," He said, jerking his chin. Mikasa's shoulders hitched just a fraction before she was taking several steps closer to him, her fingers reaching for his lapels like magnets attracted together. Similarly, Levi's hands were lifting to meet the swell of her hips, eyes never leaving hers and smirk staying pleasantly tugged over his mouth.

"You look delectable," Mikasa muttered, and it would've been quiet if not for the fact that everyone was watching them with the same fascination one would have for an open flame.

"Enough for you to stop being mad at me?" He challenged, thumbs brushing her sides. Even Li looked like she was about to be consumed by the tension between them.

"Almost," Mikasa said and kissed him on the nose. Levi rolled his eyes and reached over to kiss her lips before Krista cleared her throat, raising a brow and a smile at the two of them.

"I don't mean to interrupt," The blonde said, crossing her arms and letting her bouquet rest on the crook of her elbow. "But, we were wondering about Eren?"

Levi's face molded back into its usual flat expression of simple appraisal, yet his hands only further tugged Mikasa further against him—as if it was the most natural thing to do. "All I am aware of is that Hanji's team is set to arrive today. When exactly, that I don't know. For all we know they're on their way."

"Let's hope so," Jean said, keeping his gaze away from Levi and Mikasa, so settled on meeting Sasha's gaze, "Armin's been really worried since breakfast. Hardly touched his food when we found out Eren hadn't gotten back yet. Ticks me off, Eren's his best man and the guy can't even be on time for that."

"I'm sure he's trying his best to get here on time," Mikasa quipped, bristling slightly at the criticism towards her brother. "The wedding is not for another three hours, that's plenty of time."

"Like I said," Jean said, shaking his head. "Let's hope so."

Sensing another argument rising from catching the hardened look Mikasa was now giving Jean, Krista let out a deep sigh, letting her hands fall and pressed her bouquet into Sasha's hands. Sasha frowned, looking at Krista with concern, "You alright, Historia?"

"I'm just tired…" the girl sighed, letting her hands fall back over her lacy hem and feigning exhaustion. "It's been a really busy morning, can I get a little while to rest?"

"Anything for the bride," Jean piped up beneath similar agreements from everyone else in the room. Almost immediately, everyone else in the room began to shuffle out.

Levi patted Krista's head softly before giving her a soft look, "Rest well," He said before walking out, Mikasa giving her an equally soft gaze and even an affectionate touch to her shoulder. Krista smiled warmly at them, waving as Jean ushered Sasha out and they both gave her happy smiles.

"If you need anything," Li's voice startled her from behind. Turning, Krista saw the soldier appear strangely sheepish, "You can give me a call. I don't think Jean will be available after Sasha saw him in that suit."

Krista's cheeks burned pink again, catching Li's implication with a giggle, "I don't think so, either. Thank you." Li gave her a short nod before brushing past her, Riza following in tow with several chocolates stuffed in her mouth and pockets. "Actually," Krista called and the two women paused to look at her, "If it's not too much to ask… I would appreciate it if you joined my bridesmaids…"

Green eyes widened, Riza looking extremely excited whilst Li appeared like she'd been punched in the gut, "Oh, uh," the shorter woman stuttered, "Thanks, but I'm not really cut out for dresses or that sort of thin—,"

"Nonsense!" Riza exclaimed through a chocolaty grin, chewing quickly and swallowing, the taller Dorinski looked over the moon. "Li would _love_ to be one of your bridesmaids! Wouldn't you, Hanna?"

Li paled, giving Krista a distressed looking glance, "I don't think I—I mean, it's a nice thought, but—,"

Hands clamping on her sister's shoulders, Riza gave Krista a joyful smile, "I'll have her get ready in no time. I don't know if I have a dress that's the same shade as Mikasa's or Sasha's though, that won't be a problem will it?"

Krista grinned, "Actually, we got an extra dress in that closet there. I had it ordered just in case Sasha ended up ruining hers." Riza let out a bright whoop of success, pushing past Li's frozen figure to search out the extra dress.

"I don't think that's necessary," Li tried again, looking more and more out of comfort when Riza pulled out the lilac dress on a hanger. "Really, I'm no good for these things. I'll probably screw something up or whatever."

"Oh shut up, Hanna Li," Riza snapped, looking so similar to her sister that it made Krista nearly do a double take. Instantly, the expression fell and she gave Krista a brilliant grin, "She'll be ready in an hour, so you rest your pretty blonde head while I work my magic."

"Thank you," Krista chuckled, watching Riza flounce toward the door, hooking her elbow through her sister's arm and tugging Li's still protesting body out the door.

"Come along, sister dearest! Time to make you pretty!" With a final glance back, Li heaved a heavy sigh, before being thoroughly dragged out of the room. When the door shut, Krista let out another happy chuckle and looked toward the back door of the sitting room.

"That out of the way," She spoke to herself, patting herself on the back for buying herself foolproof time out of everyone's attention. With a few steps, she moved over toward the couch and leaned over to pull back the sheer fabric that covered the windows, smiling when she noticed the sky was practically empty of all clouds, leaving nothing but bright blue skies and sun drenched foliage.

Carefully, lifting at her dress, Krista moved over to the door and pushed it open. The door was yanked out as a sharp gust of wind blew into the room, making her yelp with surprise. Sunny it was, but it was still rather windy. Krista was glad, yet again, at Jean's thinking. It wouldn't do them any good if the sun was out but the wind was ready to toss the rest of everyone off the ground—well… there were a few choice people Krista wouldn't mind being blown away… that's for sure.

Moving out wasn't so bad, the wind rose and fell. Sometimes hard, sometimes dwindling into a brisk breeze. Shivering against the cold air, Krista pushed the door closed and moved through the grass. Dress whipping around her legs, the young bride moved through the grounds slowly, but surely.

Sure enough, she found an area where the hallways opened up to let in air and easy access to the fields. Careful not to be spotted, she breathed a sigh of relief that ended in her teeth clacking together when she found little to no one around—not doubt following inspections and helping out with the last touches the dining hall needed before it was ready. Commander Erwin had ensured that all other activities would be suspended to make way for the wedding, making it so that for the rest of the day everyone could enjoy the festivities and the happy occasion.

Moving away from the grass and nearly slipping on rocks (she never wished for her standardized boots more than ever. The soft white flats were lovely but did nothing to protect her from the cold of the wind or whipping leaves. She nearly twisted her ankle over a particularly uneven bit of ground and her legs were already aching where she had broken them) Krista was happy her feet were finally over even stone and quietly moved through the hallways.

It was warmer inside and she had to take special care not to be spotted as there were still the occasional soldiers moving about. It took her longer than usual, but as she got closer to her destination, Krista could feel her determination lift the closer she got. A couple of turns here, a couple of careful ducks out of sight there, and the perfume of flowers soon reached her nose as her reward.

Smiling to herself, she peered over the side of the hallway and deeming it clear, she quickly stepped through the open threshold of the gardens. Her eyes were quickly graced with the sight of various colors and sunlight, bright and soft all at once she took a step in and inhaled deeply. The smell was strong but pleasant and just a bit of a breeze entered the area from above. When she glanced up, she saw one of the sky windows had been opened a bit to let in some air, making the blistering room feel cooler but still warm under the bright sunlight.

She didn't need to search far. When she stepped past a few large pots of Calla Lilies she was greeted with the sight of Armin sitting on the bench by the spruce sapling, eyes closed as he drank in the sunlight. The sight made her heart give a little flutter, his hair had been carefully combed into its usual half-up style, body covered in a rich black suit that shimmered at the hems. In his hands he spun a long stalk of edelweiss mindlessly. While his stance on the bench gave him an air of relaxation, she caught the slight wrinkle of his brows over the bridge of his nose. She knew in a heartbeat that he was probably still worried over Eren's absence.

Smiling to herself, she drew near, "Armin." She called out softly.

"Historia?" Armin's eyes opened, surprised and when he saw her, his eyes quickly squeezed shut. "Wha—what are you doing here? I can't see you, yet!" He exclaimed, quickly lifting a hand to cover his eyes and turn his body away from her. "It's bad luck, don't you know?"

Krista giggled, but allowed him to fuss, "It's okay, you didn't really see me." Gently, she took a seat beside him and angled her body to face away from his. Leaning back so their spines touched, she felt him stiffen, "See? It's okay."

Steadily, Armin relaxed. Straightening to better support her, he drew out a soft sigh, and she could tell he was trying not to look back at her. "What are you doing here?" He asked her after a short and comfortable silence.

"Jean told me you were worried. I can't have that on my wedding day, you know." She replied, lacing her fingers over her knees as she lifted her dress to hug her legs, drawing her knees up to her chest on the bench. Armin chuckled, she could feel it on her back and it made her smile.

"How'd you know I would be here?"

"I'm about to become your wife," she replied easily. "I think a bride should know a few good things about her future husband, don't you think?"

Armin laughed at this, "Fair enough."

Another pleasant silence filled the space between them, leaving them to enjoy the smells and breeze that fell around them softly. After some time, Krista felt Armin lean his head back, skull meeting hers gently as he looked above them, "I'm not mad."

"I know."

"It's just," He began, sounding frustrated. "He's always been there… I know I shouldn't doubt him, but I can't help but worry that… I don't know… he forgot or something."

"Do you think he'd forget?"

"No."

"Then I think you have nothing to worry about," She said, shaking her head to gently nuzzle him. A strand of gold fell past her ear and she stopped the motion, wincing when she realized she may have undone one of her braids. The thought was brushed away as Armin gave another slow exhale.

"He'll be here, Armin." Krista soothed, lifting her hand to reach behind her and catching his suit sleeve. His hand quickly fell for their fingers to interlink, her thumb finding its usual spot above his. "If it makes you feel any better… we can hold back the wedding until he arrives."

Armin let out a short breath that resembled something like a laugh. He shook his head, "You're unbelievably amazing. You know that?" Krista nudged her shoulder back against his, grinning. "Thanks, but… I can't make you wait any more. This is your big day, and I won't get in the way of that."

"Armin…" Krista sighed before shifting and grabbing at his chin. He turned at her insistence, but his eyes remained firmly closed. She fought back the urge to roll her eyes, deciding to just lean in and kiss him, instead. Their lips met in a pleasant touch, gentle and sweet. When she pulled away, his cheeks were flushed, but his eyes stayed close. "This is your big day, too. We've waited a few weeks to be married… what's an hour or two more?"

He tilted his cheek, letting her fingers caress his skin with soft touches while a smile bloomed over his lips. "An hour sounds infinite."

"It's your choice," She whispered, drawing him close to press their foreheads together, one of his hands found her waist. "If you want, I can make it so we wait a little longer for Eren."

"Are you sure that's okay…?" His voice was small, as if he didn't like the idea of asking her to do something that felt like such a big deal. Krista kissed him again, letting her fingers dig into his hair as she cradled him close.

"It's more than okay." She said against his lips and he let out a relieved sigh through his nose. After another moment, she pulled away to sit against his back, their fingers meeting again urgently with the necessity to touch. Another long silence passed between them comfortably when Armin gave her shoulder a soft nudge.

"So," He asked, sounding a lot less stressed as he had before. "Lady Reiss, how does it feel to be marrying a lowly commoner such as myself?"

Krista let out a soft grunt, feeling the title dip a sour taste behind her teeth. "A lot better than it would be marrying some pompous noble."

"You sure?" Armin asked after a time. "Sounds like it would be nice. Marrying a guy with a lot of money, a big mansion with a lot of servants and all the food you can eat… better than dealing with an army pension and dorms, yeah?"

"Gosh, you've convinced me," Krista cooed dramatically, "I'm going to run off now and find me the richest nobleman in the King's court and marry him instead. Or her. Definitely her."

"Oi," Armin grunted, but she could hear the smile in his voice and wasn't too bothered by his nudge against her back. Krista laughed, knowing he was probably rolling his eyes.

"I'm happy, Armin." She admitted, resting her head against his shoulder with a contented sigh, "That's something that no other person, no matter how rich, can give me. At least this way… I'm marrying for love, and that's worth the twin sized bed and a life of rickety floors."

"It's a full size now. Lance Corporal's get full sized beds."

Krista let her eyes fall close, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight, "That's enough space for an extra little person." Armin's hold on her fingers tightened, the sensation sparking a brilliant heat through her chest that made her feel delightfully giddy,

"I'll send a request to the Commander to see if I can get us a King sized bed then."

"Don't you dare," she huffed but the huff ended with a giggle that easily morphed into a contagious laugh. Giggles subsiding, another thought hit her, making the laughs fade. "…Historia Arlert…" she spoke. Armin stiffened.

"It sounds nice…" He said.

"Nicer than Krista Lenz… better than Historia Reiss… both those names belong to someone who isn't me…" She said, lifting a hand to catch a floating petal that had been lifted from its flower after another cool breeze. "But… Historia Arlert… that's a name I can really fit into."

"I'm glad you think so," Armin said, but his voice sounded tight—no doubt getting overemotional again—before clearing his throat. "Because I don't know about you, but Armin Reiss and Armin Lenz sound completely ridiculous."

The laugh that burst from her lips was heartfelt and beautiful, making the warmth that surrounded them feel light and perfect. Krista knew that she wanted nothing more than to sit by this man's side for the rest of her life—because for the second time in her life… she felt truly loved.

And for the first time, she felt like it would actually last.

* * *

His mouth still tasted like blood. Iron and rust, sharp and bitter. Blinking blearily, Eren tried to focus on the feel of his reigns against his fingers, but every step the horse took felt like a jarring stab against his hands, making the bandages around them feel more constricting than soothing.

Glancing at his hands, he couldn't help but scowl when he saw the faded pink on white—noting how his hands were still bleeding in crescents and would probably be needing a change soon. Ahead of him, Hanji rode in silence, her green cloak flapping behind her as they traveled at an easy trot. It had gotten windier the closer they got to the castle, forcing strange gales to whip at them in odd angles.

The brisk wind felt nice against his wounds, at least, giving them a numbing touch that the swelling and heat had stabbed and ached. Still, there were times that the jostling made the bandages feel like they were rubbing against his skin, irritating the bites and make him feel nauseous.

But, it was not the pain of his bandaged hands that caused the hole in his chest. Rather… it was what they meant, that made his heart feel like it had been sucked into some kind of vacuum and mashed to a pulp.

He had been staring at his objective for a while, remembering the way it felt to be in control of his Titan form, the emotions that allowed the power to flow through his veins like a fierce explosion of heat and static. Sure enough, he gave a nod and waited until everyone was out of the way before he took in a sharp inhale and bit down at the space beneath his thumb. He felt pain, then felt skin break before his mouth was flooded with his blood. Heat rose in his body and Eren let out a shout of pain, knees caving as he fell forward.

Blood dripped down his chin and arm, hot and oozing. For a moment, he thought it had been enough but the peak of heat had been too soft. Not enough… Eren closed his eyes, and bit down harder, skin screaming where his teeth sunk and tried not to scream again. The heat rose again, but perished in a single moment.

Eren unhinged his jaw, wincing, and spat out blood. The red substance struck the ground with a splatter, staining green stalks with its violent shade and dripping into the soil. Minutes later, he heard footsteps and when he glanced up, Hanji was looking at him with a strange expression. Neither disappointed or excited… just… focused.

"What did you feel?" She asked, behind her approached Moblit with a notepad. Eren told her, explaining every sensation in as much detail as he could, before cradling his injured hand against his shirt—the material staining with red and pain as he tried to staunch much of the pour that was starting to make his hand feel too warm… and too cold all at once.

After he had finished dictating and Moblit had stopped scribbling, Hanji remained standing there, peering down at his hand with a pursed look. They waited, watching her as her eyes stared off into the distance before she glanced back up at the young man kneeling in front of her.

"Do you think you can try again?" She asked.

Eren let out a soft groan, feeling his nerves fray. These past few days have been nightmarish. He had had poor sleep, his body was still protesting much of the exercises she had him do and perform… he tried very hard to keep from exploding on her, tried to keep his anger in check—because if he did transform now, the last thing he could afford was killing Hanji just because of a few days of rotten sleep and exhaustion—no matter how tempting it sounded.

"Gimme… a second." He grunted, trying to sound normal but ended up spitting the words through his teeth. _God… it hurt like hell. _He had nearly forgotten what it was like to feel a pain like this and for so long. "Agh!" He snarled, snapping a feral gaze back up to the bespectacled woman. "Why am I not healing?!"

Hanji said nothing, her eyes crinkling behind her glasses. After a moment, Eren had looked away, panting (_when did he start breathing hard?_) and wanting nothing more than to hit something now. "Okay, you know what, why don't you please just tell me what the hell I'm torturing myself here for, yeah? Can you please give me that, Hanji?" He growled.

Moblit scowled but kept his lips shut. The woman's lips tightened and she let out a sigh, "I'm not sure if we should, Eren."

"Well, why the hell not?!" He honestly hated how his voice sounded so weak, so whiny. If Annie were here now—_No. None of that. No more thinking of Annie. _

Hanji opened her mouth to say something before pausing, she seemed to be thinking at a speed even he couldn't comprehend. Finally, she bent down to crouch before him, looking into his eyes with a tired expression, "A lot is happening right now, Eren. I need you to trust me. Okay? I can't tell you everything right now, but I can tell you that if my theory is correct… that means that you're the last that carries the titan gene."

"Didn't we already check that theory out?" Eren asked, grimacing when he felt the blood seep against his shirt and drip down his abdomen.

"…We've had some more information come to light that challenged that theory…" Hanji muttered softly, lifting a hand to pinch at the bridge of her nose. The young titan shifter frowned for a moment at her words. Then, his eyes widened, heart jumping to his throat.

"Wait… what do you mean?"

She met his gaze after adjusting her glasses, speaking bluntly, "You may not be the last Titan as we had thought."

Another jostle and Eren let out a shuddered breath through his teeth, reminding himself to breathe and to keep from using his hands any more than he needed to. As soon as Hanji had told him that, Eren had returned to their experiment with new zeal, wanting nothing more than to feel like her words could be right.

He needed them to be right.

Because if he could transform, it meant that he wasn't the last one.

It meant that there was still something he could do.

It meant that Annie could still be alive.

But each bite, each new wound that he self-administered brought him nothing. Each painful rip of teeth on skin only brought heat, but no static. Even though his mind envisioned his objective clearly, his endgame perfectly, his desire fiercely…all he felt was heat pooling against his mouth, staining him with red failure and a sharp taste of desperation that clung to his tongue even after he had swashed his mouth endlessly with water.

That had been two days ago. And still… his body refused to heal as fast as it had once had. As if it had been truly exhausted from every inch that granted him the power that had saved his family, his friends. No matter how hard he tried to focus on the memory of Annie's words, the power never came.

In the end, they forced him to stop after he started seeing spots and the blood loss had left him feeling faint and hysterical. The night that had followed was drenched with tear-stained dreams and the image of Annie falling away from him no matter how hard he ran through the nightmares and reached for her. Now, more than ever, Eren felt truly desolate.

They woke at dawn on Friday, conducting a final experiment to test if his healing had truly slowed. Eren didn't find it in himself to care and just followed through the motions, drained and wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and forget. To his relief, Hanji had let him return to his cot to rest, recognizing that it was about time he had some time to himself. Sleep deprived and stressed to the point of apathy, the second his head hit the pillow, Eren allowed himself to cry and fade to a sleep where he dreamt of Annie sitting at his side and holding his hand while they watched blue flowers sway in a summer breeze.

At around noon, Hanji had woken him up to help him pack. "We're heading back home, Eren." She had said. She changed his bandages and checked other vitals, using a small compact to reflect light into his pupils. "No changes?" She inquired. Eren only shook his head, hating speech and hating the pain that made him feel like such a pathetic shell.

He watched as officers packed his things for him (his wounds hadn't improved), heaving his trunk of clothes and things into the back of the travel cart. It was midafternoon by the time they were heading off. Their pace was slower than when they had left the castle, no doubt made easier for him. Breakfast had come and gone, lunch and dinner passing in the same fashion. By the time they had managed to come close to the main road, Eren nearly fell off his horse—completely exhausted.

"Eren!" Hanji had exclaimed when he fell to his knees by his horse—they had been taking a break and his hands were bleeding through his bandages. A series of footsteps rushed toward him, but none neared him—fearing a sudden transformation even though the sun had already set on the horizon. He doubted he'd be able to transform then, even if he could do so.

"How does it hurt, Eren?" Hanji asked, her voice closer than everyone else.

"Like hell…" He grunted, wiping sweat off his forehead with his upper arm and grimacing when his hands pulsed painfully.

"Moblit, pitch tents, we'll make camp here."

"Wha—no!" Eren shouted, looking up to see Hanji's startled face. "I can keep going, Hanji. I promise."

"Eren, you're completely exhausted," She pointed out, shaking her head. "I know you want to be on time for Armin's wedding, but it's not until tomorrow and we've only got a few hours of travel distance. We rest now, and wake up early. You need to sleep."

He didn't protest much after that, not like he could anyway. After Hanji had deemed it safe, a pair of soldiers had approached and carefully lifted him, mindful of his hands. When their tents were pitched and his cot ready, Eren only had to wait for Hanji to change his bandages, nearly falling asleep as she hummed softly to herself.

"What's that song…?" He murmured, blinking through sleep-heavy eyelids. In the dim light of his tent, he saw her smile—almost ruefully.

"It's a lullaby," She replied, writing down some data on a notebook after she looked over his wounds. Eren nodded softly, feeling himself drift off as she finished wrapping the last of the wrappings.

"Reminds me… of my mom." He admitted, and he would've asked why she stiffened, why she had suddenly looked up at him with an expression of such broken affection and tender sadness. Instead, she slowly pushed him against his covers and brushed the hair from his forehead. He felt something feathery and soft press against his scalp, but was too tired to tell what it was.

"Goodnight, Eren…" Hanji's voice was the last thing he had heard before he drifted.

The following morning, his hands felt slightly better and his body didn't protest as loudly when he stood to get ready. The sun was already in the sky to the Far East, casting their path with bright light and warmth that was only quelled as the wind picked up.

Breakfast was bread and dried fruit, and by the time they hit the road the sun had pushed its way closer to the roof of the sky. It was at this point that Eren could feel his stomach begin to tighten with anxious anticipation. The wind had picked up, slapping against them before pushing behind them, making cloaks and fabric flap loudly at their skin.

It was almost impossible to be heard over the wind but Eren had to know, "Hanji!" He shouted. He had to shout nearly three more times until the woman ahead of him turned around, auburn hair whipping around her face when her hood fell back. "How much longer until we get back?"

"At this pace?" She called back, biting her lip. "Probably not until this afternoon!"

Eren let out a cry of shock before spurring his horse to trot beside Hanji's. "That's too late, Hanji!"

The woman waved a hand, flippant, "Why ever so? It'll give you plenty of time for you to get ready and be at the wedding!"

Eren shook his head, "Hanji, what are you talking about? The wedding's at noon!"

She scowled, "No, can't be! I distinctly remember being told it would be at sunset!"

"They changed that," Eren sighed, exasperated. "Armin and Historia decided to do it at noon. They told me about it last week after the poltrabend!"

There was a moment of stunned silence from Hanji, before she gave him a sheepish smile, "Uhm…" She laughed, "Oops?"

"HANJI!" he wanted to strangle her, but Hanji only laughed instead.

"Not to worry, we'll pick up the pace! Are you sure you can, though? Your hands are still wounded."

"It doesn't matter," Eren growled, "I can get them wrapped up when we get there."

Hanji shrugged, "Alright. We're picking up the pace!"

He didn't wait for the rest of the company to start, Eren was already kicking at his horse, gritting his teeth when the animal burst into a powerful gallop. He heard Hanji shout at him but he didn't bother looking back and soon enough, he could hear the thunder of hooves striking the ground behind him. His hands and legs were howling at him, begging him to be gentler. He set his jaw, keeping his teeth tight and baring as much pain as he could, hoping against time that they would make it.

_Just wait a little longer, Armin. _He thought as he flicked his reigns and suppressed a snarl of agony. _I'm almost there, buddy._

* * *

The taste of chocolate didn't feel so nice when it was hammered by nervousness. Armin chewed on the sweet Jean had tossed to him mindlessly, glancing out the window every so often and hoping to see a sign of a caravan approach the walls of their castle. In the bright of the day, Armin saw nothing but a long and peaceful landscape, and a glance at the dining hall doors made him let out a thin snort of exasperation.

Footsteps approached and when Armin turned he saw Jean, scowling. "Anything?" The Lance Corporal asked, wiping the remains of chocolate that stuck to his sweating fingertips on a napkin his friend provided. Jean shook his head before sighing deeply.

"It's nearly one in the afternoon," Jean said, "People are starting to worry what's the hold up. I just spoke to Krista and the girl is nearly drunk from drinking so much white wine. Mikasa and Sasha had to hide the bottles to keep her from overdrinking."

Armin let out a low growl, yanking a hand over his hair and tossing another look out the window. "Come on, Eren, where are you?" He muttered, blue eyes scanning the horizon with a frown.

"Armin…" Jean spoke, "I think we've waited long enough."

"No." Armin grunted.

"But—,"

"I said, no, Jean. I'm not about to get married with my best friend missing. Something must have gone wrong, otherwise he'd be here."

Jean let out a slow sigh, rubbing a hand to the back of his head as he tried to think of something else to say. "I know that Eren being here means a lot, Arm…" He hesitated, waiting for the blond man to protest. When he didn't, he proceeded, "But, you have to start thinking about Historia. I know she agreed to wait a little longer… but the MP's are starting to get suspicious and the men from the High Court are starting to ask questions. The last thing we need is them trying to start some kind of ridiculous investigation and questioning the validity of your marriage vows. Things are bad enough already…"

He trailed off, watching Armin's shoulders slump as he spoke and feeling some hope that the lance corporal would listen to reason. Armin slowly turned, giving Jean a disappointed look.

"Tell Historia to give me another fifteen minutes." He stated. "If Eren's still not here by then… we move on with the wedding."

Jean gave him a nod, lifting a hand to his shoulder and giving him a firm squeeze, "Don't worry." Jean said with a light smile, "Better late than never, yeah?"

Armin returned the smile with another nod, "Yeah…"

But fifteen minutes later, there was still no sign of Eren or the company, and twenty minutes later, Armin could hear the soft music of the instrument—they had called a piano—play a soft and happy melody that echoed through the hall. It was time.

Nerves shot through his stomach as he began to walk toward the entrance where he would meet his bride to walk down the aisle, and while his disappointment for Eren's absence brought shards of sadness to cling to his chest, they were not so biting when he remembered who exactly he was marrying today. A short moment later, Captain Levi appeared around a corner, hair mussed rather than combed and a strange look of contentment glistening behind his usually stoic eyes. He was busy adjusting his tell-tale cravat around his neck as he stepped close, blinking curiously when Armin offered him a nerve-wrecked smile.

"You ready?" Levi asked, and Armin gave him a series of rapid nods that soon morphed into head shakes.

"I, uh… I'm not sure." Armin chuckled breathily, feeling faint as he rambled. "What if I trip? Or worse, make her trip? God, what if we both trip and make everyone else trip? Eren still isn't here—dammit he'd probably be able to make sure I don't trip."

"Oi, Armin," Levi called, lifting two hands to press against the panicking soldier, gazing gun-metal blue eyes into Armin's frantic azure. "Take a deep breath."

The blond nodded and swallowed a large gulp of air—"Slower,"—and proceeded to exhale through his lips. Fingers still shaking, he met his superior's gaze. "Good," Levi said, "Now, don't worry. Take slow steps, hold on to her arm carefully and focus on the reason why she makes you happy."

"But, Eren isn't—,"

"Forget about Eren, right now," Levi cut him off, frowning. "He's not the one you're marrying, alright? If he doesn't make it to the ceremony, then I'll personally head out to drag him here for the reception, but you have to stay calm."

The music that poured through the room and out the doors rose to a crescendo before ending, a series of clapping fell like rain and it made the anticipation inside his chest curl into a spring. Levi gave his shoulders another firm squeeze, "You're going to do great, Armin." He added with a soft look of approval, the ghost of a smile lifting his lips. "I'm proud of you. I'm certain that your grandfather and parents would feel the same."

The words sobered him, made him feel more firmly rooted to the ground, even though he felt surprise fill him. It wasn't often Levi spoke so candidly about his feelings, and when he did, they usually were harsh words and sharp grunts. This made his chest swell, happy that the man he called his Captain looked at him with respect and just a bit of care. "Thank you, Captain."

Levi gave him another nod before releasing him, he walked toward the side entrance and with a final glance of support disappeared around the corner. Another tune began to play, announcing the beginning entourage of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Not long after Levi disappeared, Jean came racing down the hall, panting and working on his tie and pushing back a flushed expression. Armin could only lift his hands in a '_Jean, what even, man,' _gesture.

The tall brunet man threw him a sheepish grin before waving and giving him a thumb's up. He, too, disappeared down around the corner. Armin cleared his throat, nodding to himself and shaking his arms in a 'warm-up.' He bounced on his toes a couple of times and waited for the music to fade.

_Just like we rehearsed it, _Armin thought. _The rehearsal dinner went fine, and so this will be fine. Relax. You're getting married. _

He inhaled deeply and exhaled again, hoping fiercely that Eren would show up… but the seconds passed and Armin was alone. Soon, the melody Krista had picked for their march began to play and with a square of his shoulders, Armin adjusted his suit and ran a hand through the long tresses of his hair and flicked them over his shoulders.

Several steps close, Armin reached the door before he stepped through the threshold and into the dining hall, where his future wife would be approaching from the opposite side of the room.

_Here goes._

* * *

Wind slapped and struck chocolate brown tresses against cheeks and eyelids, stinging where it struck and making teeth grit harder. Beneath him, the large animal was panting in sharp bursts, the air exploding through nostrils and following the rhythmic strikes of hooves on dirt. _Steady… steady…_ He thought, trying not to bite on his lips as the horse surged forward.

Thunder followed at his heels, making the desperation to arrive at the castle in time for his best friend's wedding feel like a weight in the back of his chest. Legs aching, spine absorbing the sprinting of the animal below, Eren tried to focus on the sound, on the sting of his hands and the sounds of the caravan hurrying behind him.

They had been riding hard for nearly three full hours now and they were still several miles away from reaching the castle. The sun was now high on its zenith and slinking steadily past the highest point, a white disk of brilliance in the sky.

He could feel the skin of his cheeks flush and burn with the ever present glare of sunlight above him, but Eren dared not find a reason to stop now. Armin needed him, and he would be damned if he would allow himself to fail his friend now, of all times.

A series of rapid hoofs striking earth approached him and soon he was greeted by Hanji's presence at his side, "Eren!" he shot her a look from the corner of his eye. "Are you sure you don't want to rest?"

"I can rest later!" He shot back, and whipped the reins again. His bite wounds shrieked but it was a noise he easily shoved to the side, focusing solely on riding.

"Alright, but slow down a bit," Hanji called, "This next bit of terrain is pretty uneven, the last thing we need is for your horse to break an ankle!"

Eren nearly ignored her, wanting nothing more than just ignore her and move on. "Eren!" She shouted, and he let out another snarl.

"Fine!" He relented and began to tug at the reigns. The horse gave a grunt in response, huffing while it slowed its pace. His stomach began to lurch, and the protests of his bodies increased in discomfort—filling him to the brim with a strange sensation that made his vision tunnel.

Shaking his head, Eren forced himself to push away the strange sensation. Inhaling through his nose, he tried to take in the whipping scents of the plains and trees around them, the cold against his cheeks and the heat of the sunlight over his scalp—but the sensation persisted. _Is this because I'm exhausted…?_ He thought vaguely, feeling a shudder run through his spine to pool at his stomach. A bitter taste rose from his stomach to his tongue, Eren swallowed it back.

_No, not yet. Not until I get there._ He thought viciously and squeezed his hands over the leather thongs in his grip. The pain was horrid but it cleared his mind from the weird feeling, but the attempt to quell it failed as it returned full force.

"Eren, are you alright?" Hanji's voice cut through the wind, worried and anxious. He didn't realize he had doubled over, nearly pressing his forehead against his horse's neck.

"Fine, fine!" He tried to shout, but it came out as a wheeze, tunnel vision getting worse.

After a few moments, the rush of hooves and thunder against the ground began to slow behind him and he felt a hand reach over to grab at his arm, tugging the reigns of his animal. Eren tried to shove the hands off, wanting to keep moving but felt his efforts fall to the spots covering his vision.

The horse let out a fierce grunt, whining at the sudden tug and began to slow down, fighting at the reigns to ease the pain under its tongue. Sandalwood and lemongrass overwhelmed his nose for half a second when he felt the press of arms around his. The scent surprised him and he looked up to meet Hanji's determined face.

Several moments later the galloping faded to a bouncing trot. Eren let out a soft groan, his skin tingling with the lack of wind pressing against his cheeks and feeling sweat accumulate on his neck. His hands were shaking violently and his legs were numb.

"Hanji… we can't stop…" He panted. _Why is it so hard to breathe?_

"Eren, I can't risk you passing out mid-gallop. We're taking a short rest." She spoke and the trotting slowed down to a stop. The strange sensation increased, making his head spin. "Can you get down?"

"Y-yeah…" He heaved, gripping on to his saddle, he bit back a shout of pain as he tried to swing his leg over to meet his other leg. He had overshot the toss and ended up stumbling off his saddle and collapsing on his side.

"Eren!" Hanji exclaimed.

A sharp heat began in his stomach, churning and rolling like a boil that began to spread everywhere, dulling his senses and making him feel like he was falling. Falling… falling…

"Ha…Hanj…" He gasped, eyes wide but not seeing, not feeling anything aside from the burning in his blood, spreading everywhere until it found his hands.

The tingling increased, and the burning rose and rose through every muscle strand, filling him with a strange resilience and clarity he hadn't felt in a long time…

A very long time…

* * *

The first thing he saw… was a goddess bathed in white and sunlight. Armin's eyes widened, mouth falling as he saw her step toward him. Through the sheer fabric of her veil he could see the blush on her cheeks, the grin on her lips as she approached him—looking amused by his stunned expression. The music rose softly, and the sound of a fiddle joined a harmonious melody to the piano's light touches and Armin could feel his eyes fill with tears. She gave him a short nod of her chin, as if beckoning him.

Zaps of surprise filled his legs, making him start forward with a few awkward steps that mingled like a sprint and a jog and a reverent march all at once. Krista let out a soft noise the reached his ears and his cheeks burned when he realized she was holding back from laughing. A large smile found home in his heart and lips, pushing them up to show her his excitement.

Slowly they inched closer and closer and the soft scent of lilacs teased his nose. He realized then, that under her veil, was a garland of flowers resting over the crown of her golden hair. His fingers itched, wanting nothing more than to lift the fabric to see her fully, but he knew that was not until they reached the altar.

With a love filled heart, Armin extended an elbow for her to grasp, and felt happiness burn through him when her hand found a place within the crook of his arm.

"I'm sorry about Eren," She whispered to him. Armin's smile wavered for a moment before he shook his head lightly.

"It's alright," He replied. "Better later than never."

Krista beamed up at him and slowly they turned and began to walk down the aisle. Their footsteps were muffled by a long carpet of white that spread between the rows of seats. The music and their breathing were the only sounds that surrounded them, heartbeats matching rhythm with every step. Around them, petals of lilacs and daisies littered the ground, and they met the gaze of soldiers and staff alike, smiling widely when they all watched with grins and even watery smiles.

"Hard to believe they're all war-hardened veterans." Armin mumbled. Krista's hold on his hand gave a soft squeeze.

"Almost all of them." She replied.

Armin fought back the urge to laugh, and they fell quiet when another fiddle joined the music, higher notes caressing the lower ones and the soft press of piano keys.

Their eyes lifted from the people around them, witnessing their happiness, to land on their friends, waiting by the gazebo. Armin took a moment to admire the fixed structure, and noted that they had wrapped ribbon in strategic places where paint and wood had been unable to improve. It was a brilliant touch and when he glanced back over to Jean, who stood between Levi and Connie (the latter kept fidgeting with his tie uncomfortably) the man looked absolutely proud.

Armin almost gawked when he saw tears glistening in Jean's eyes. When he glanced back to the women, he was pleased to see Mikasa was already in tears, gentle rivers falling down her cheeks as she grinned at her friend. Armin felt the connection surge another round of emotion through his chest, making his nose sting and eyes blur. He looked back and saw Sasha sniffling, rubbing a napkin to her nose as she cried openly, smiling funnily at them through happy tears.

At the end, stood Li, and the woman was completely flushed and looking out of her element. Armin could feel amusement rip air through his nose when he saw her fiddling with the dress—it nearly fell past her knees, while the dresses of Mikasa and Sasha just barely brushed the joints. When her green eyes met Armin, she gave him a half smile—looking far more embarrassed than he had ever seen her. He gave her a small wave with his fingers, trying to show that her presence didn't bother him—and it didn't… but the memory of her sitting on his lap made his eyes fall away.

Jeez…

At his side, Krista giggled almost inaudibly and they were finally at the altar, where a priest and Commander Erwin stood at its opening. The blond leader gave them both a brilliant smile, nodding to them with a twinkle in his eye that reminded Armin a little bit of his father. The memory nearly made him overflow, but he kept himself in check. Behind him, stood several Military Policemen, looking absolutely bored out of their minds. One of them didn't even bother to stifle a yawn.

"Who invited them?" Krista grumbled at his side, Armin shared her sentiment.

Armin glanced over to Levi, sending him an exasperated look. The Captain rolled his eyes, but did it so softly it looked like a blink to anyone not paying attention. _Just keep moving._

When they finally reached their spots before the gazebo's low steps. The priest gave them a warm smile before looking over the quiet congregation, waiting as the music finally ended and when the last of the notes faded against the walls, Armin turned to face his future wife.

"Dearly beloved," The priest boomed and Krista's lips tightened when Armin's hands flinched in her hold. "We are gathered here today, in the festive occasion of a marriage between man and woman. A marriage between two soldiers, ready to serve the mandate and the crown… for the sake of humanity."

Krista rose an eyebrow, Armin fought back a grin and let his thumbs smooth over her palms.

"It is in this occasion that we stand together in its rarity and its briefness, for our lives are indeed short, but can be spared in happiness and moments of friendship." The priest paused with a dramatic flair that made Krista's lips curl behind the fabric and Arming had to fight the urge to follow in her amusement.

"At this time, we will hear the vows, and then the bands shall be given to our couple." The old man explained before giving Krista a small nod.

Krista cleared her throat, "I, Historia Reiss, formerly known as Krista Lenz, do accept the name of Armin Arlert as my own. I accept him as my husband, protector, lover, and equal, and swear loyalty, fidelity and strength in the moments he needs for my council, support when decisions for our family must be made. I make this vow, to honor and respect him, to love him with every fiber of my being, and to do so… even after my body decays by death's hands."

Her hands squeezed his, holding him upright as her words curled and rose through his mind, sweeter than any music he had ever heard or ever will hear. There were no words that could suffice the justice of the warmth he felt in his chest, no pretty phrase that could define the joy he felt hearing her swear such profoundness to him. Armin dared not hold back now, feeling the tears fall from his eyes and he dared not blink them away. He wanted to remember this moment, to carve it into his mind forever—the sight of Krista dressed in lace and white, wreathed in flowers and the gentle perfumes they emitted, her blue eyes filling with tears as they bore their souls out to be stitched together.

"And now, for the groom," The Priest urged, chuckling along with the rest of the congregation when Armin gave a little hiccup.

Clearing his throat, the taller blond straightened and smiled, looking through the fabric into Krista's eyes.

"I…Armin Arlert, do accept the name of Historia Rei-," his words were cut off, as the wind outside gave a sudden shriek and wail that shook the doors and rattled the windows. Several tremors crashed through the ground, as if the trees outside the room had been ripped down to the ground. Gasps echoed everywhere at the abrupt disturbance. Attention ripped from his bride, Armin felt Krista take a step closer to him, startled. His eyes turned around, finding Erwin's gaze through the confusion and frightened looks. The leader's face had fallen into a grim expression.

"Let us proceed with the ceremony," The priest called to attention, despite the sharp rattling and murmurs from the crowd.

"Armin…?" He heard and when glanced down to Historia, he saw a look of sheer unadulterated terror in her face. She has looking up toward the high windows, eyes wide beneath her veil and pale as a ghost.

Unable to avoid it, Armin lifted his eyes to the windows before feeling all feeling of hope and joy fall apart.

_No…_

* * *

He recognized this feeling intimately. Knew the surge like it was part of an instinct, and suddenly he could feel another urge rise altogether. Dark, demanding, seeking blood…

_Kill…_

Eren squeezed his eyes, feeling the heat spread to every inch of his body, damp rising through to his forehead in bursts of steam. His muscles twitched violently, tossing and forcing him to fall on his back. _Oh god, it burned. It burned…_ Blinking, Eren saw Hanji's face over him, watching him with wide eyes and mouth that moved with muted words. _Hanji… _

A flash in his mind threw him into a memory. _Ymir, watching him with a flat expression, Bertholdt's arms around his shoulders and trying to get him to move. To the left, Reiner stared at him with a look of black contempt. "You touch Eren again and I swear to god, I will kill you Reiner!" Bertholdt's voice ripped through his ears. _

_What…? _Another pulse rocked through his core. _Annie stood above him, gazing at the sky above, rain falling around them in torrents. "He tried to kill you." He remembered wheezing. Annie looked back down at him. _

"_Now, we're even," She replied smoothly, Eren felt pain when she lifted a boot to kick him in the side. _

The heat was becoming mind-numbing. _Ymir grabbed him around the collar, gazing into his eyes with an expression he had never seen in hers before. "We're doing this for you!" She roared, blood dribbling down her forehead to drip into her eye, she didn't even blink. "Remember what side you're on, Jaeger. Remember what you promised me."_

"_Protect…Historia…" He nodded, gasping when her hold tightened. _

"_Her name is Krista," Ymir growled. _

Another flash of pain and Eren felt his throat ache… was he screaming? _"Please, Eren," Bertholdt begged, covered in blood and looking exhausted. "Please, don't forget me. Don't let my name die." _

"_Bertholdt, don't!" Eren cried, reaching a hand out to reach Bert's crying face. "Don't do it!" _

"_Tell them…I'm sorry."_

A scream ripped through his chest and into the whirlwind around him, his arms tightening behind him as his knees scraped the ground. He could feel Hanji's hands on his shoulders. Could feel other hands grabbing at his clothes, trying to force him down.

_Not now…_

Green eyes squinted open, overwhelmed and meeting a pair of bright brown ones behind a pair of glasses. The brown ones widened and Hanji was pushing away, shoving at hands and scrambling away as the surge swelled in his chest.

_Hanji…! _

_Annie spat blood through her teeth, gripping his neck as she met his eyes with a vicious stare._

_Don't….!_

"_Eren," Annie grunted and a river of red fell down the corner of her lip. "LIVE!" Her hand shoved him and he was falling over an edge. Falling… falling…_

Silence…

Then he heard a fizzing zap, felt electricity burst through the bite on his hand. _Falling…_ into a sudden and terrible darkness.

* * *

Someone screamed, people jumped out seats to look at the window. It was undeniable and in his mind, Armin vaguely realized that the crashes were trees being yanked out of the ground…

They were footsteps.

One large blue eye peered through the window, casting them in shadow as blonde hair and a wide gaze landed directly on to Armin's eyes.

"It can't be…" He heard Krista gasp, her hands falling limp at her sides as they stared at the blue eyes watching them from above.

"Annie…" The name fell from his lips.

"Armin!" Mikasa's voice broke through the space and suddenly those immense blue eyes were pulling away, revealing a nose, broken skin and a pair of lips, pulled back into a devastating smile.

A hand grabbed at his arm, yanking him away from Krista's side, but he couldn't think, he couldn't breathe… all he could see was blonde hair and a large body pull away, muscles covered in hardened material like armor. The screams erupted rising when they saw a hand rise in the air before it curled into a fist.

"Annie…" Armin spoke again, feeling numb, feeling nothing. Feeling everything when he heard Levi's voice in his ear, but could understand nothing. In the background, Erwin was shouting over the screams and horror. Nothing seemed to make sense. Everything jumbled up, noises struck together, discordant and vile.

Somewhere, someone tripped over a chair, crying out as people began to slowly scramble away, but no one could tear their gazes away from the large fist risen over the window. Time slowed down as the fist began to move and Armin realized far too late what was about to happen.

"No…!" the word fell from his lips, sluggish and misinformed. Behind her Mikasa was being tugged away by Erwin's immense body, her eyes wide and frantic and landing on a spot behind his shoulder. When he looked back toward Krista, her veil had fallen off her face, and their eyes met in stark shock and horrible fear.

An explosion ripped through the space around them, crashing smoke and dust through the air and forcing them blind. Something knocked him to the ground, the air ripped from his lungs and his eyes were filled with dust. He landed on his back, feeling something fly over his head and crash behind him. _The windows… the gazebo… it's…_

Bright light burst through the smoke and dust, the sound of stone and wood striking at deafening decibels drilled into his ears. Someone was pressing his head down, covering him tightly as all hell broke loose…

"…min…Ar…n…Armin!" He heard next to his ear. Armin tried to blink through the dust, tried to breathe through the force around him… Captain Levi lay above him, searching his eyes with wide storm gray eyes, blood fell from a massive scratch on his cheek, but the man looked fine. Armin coughed, and pushed his body up, feeling Levi's hands grip to his shoulders. "Armin, look at me, don't look at anything else but me." He insisted, Armin frowned, groaning when he felt his left leg protest sharply.

"Did you hear me, Arlert?" Levi bellowed, nearly shaking him. "Don't look at anything else but me, do you understand…?!"

"I…" Armin wheezed, frowning. _No…why? I need to…_ His mind instantly sought for the young blonde woman of his heart, feeling a hysterical bubble rise when he looked to the side and saw nothing but rubble, glass and fallen bodies everywhere.

"Don't look, Armin!" Levi insisted, gripping at his face and forcing him to meet his gaze, but it had been too late. Something had caught Armin's attention and it was enough to make him wish he swore he didn't.

"Armin, don't!" Levi snarled, but nothing could push his attention away. Nothing could prepare him for the sight that ripped his heart out, taking his soul, his existence… his everything away into a terrible and abysmal chaos.

On the last spot he had seen Historia…there was a huge chunk of debris, a pillar impaling the ground and pinning a figure dressed in white… a sharp breeze forced the dust away and forced the sight into a clarity he wished he'd never know.

Pinned beneath a metal and rock, Armin saw Historia, through her stomach the metal pierced, and the white that had once was, was now drenched in crimson… her eyes were half-closed, blood falling from her lips to drip into stone and crushed edelweiss. Even from where he stood, he could see her lips moving, muttering slowly…fingers reaching weakly…the light in her eyes fading and fading fast…

_No…no, no…_

"Armin!"

"Let me go!" He cried, scrambling up only to fall, screaming when his leg collapsed beneath his weight. Levi caught him but he was already fighting his arms off, "Let me go! I have to get her! I have to go to her!"

"Armin, stop!" Levi roared, holding fast to his waist and beginning to drag him away. Large hands pushed through the gaping hole that was one the entrance to the Dining Hall, pushing away at debris and dust. Several more shrieks and cries ripped into the air…but Armin could only see Historia's body dragged on the ground.

"No, no!" Armin cried, his throat feeling like it had been ripped to shreds by dust and the force of his screams. "NO, I CAN'T—"

"It's too late, Armin!"

"NO!"

_It's too late… it's too late…_ Those words shattered him, dug nasty fingers into his mind and chest and yanked without mercy, laughed cruelly as he was taken farther and farther away. Armin felt tears run down his cheeks, mingling with blood that dripped from his brow. _It's too late…_ they didn't move fast enough… it's too late.

"HISTORIA!"

* * *

_TBC _

_You know, I kind of feel a little bad for this… especially after the whole Levi Ackerman thing… (Which, by the way, is going to be fantastic for this story later on, just wait)… so Yeah… until next Thursday…? _

–_cackles—_


	10. IX: Let Chaos Fall

_12k isn't as much as the previous amounts you've been getting, but I think it's safe. Now, this is where things begin to go seriously down in terms of plot. From here on out, it will be thick story and serious stuff going on—I hope you enjoyed what happiness I gave you because until we reach the climax, our precious babies are going to take quite a lot of beatings, in all senses of the word. So. Prepare yourselves, ladies and gents. I hope you're ready. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own SnK. There. Read on. _

**Inspired tracks: The Traitor by Jesper Kyd and Lorne Balfe (Assassin's Creed Revelations) Ronin, by Hans Zimmer, Zai by Hiroyuki Sawano, Raein by Olafur Arnalds, Bratja by Michiru Oshima (The song Li sings) Watch the World Burn, Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard (The Dark Knight)**

* * *

**Nimbus**

**-: IX :-**

**Let Chaos Fall**

* * *

Chaos.

Everywhere…

Blood stained stone, flickered over wood and ran down skin in rivulets, casting contrasts of skin and dust so morbid it was almost beautiful. Wind and screams howled in ears while the confused and frightened scattered like mice caught within a hiding place. All she could see was them, running.

_Not here. Not there… where?_

Carefully, almost painstakingly, her hands searched through the rubble, searching… searching…

_Not here… not here… _

Bright brown eyes turned up and stared, horrified and frozen. Tears fell down those eyes, but she didn't care for them.

Lift the boulder, slap away the beams of metal… _Not here… not here… _

_Where? _

_Where…?_

_WHERE?!_

* * *

Something hard was squeezing him, pressing tighter and tighter to the ground. Why was everything upside down…? It hurt to breathe, but he had to get up… he had to move. What…happened?

"…!" He could hear now… like a faint buzzing in the background. He moved, blinking, trying to understand why the world was upside down, why there was so much light and why there was something crushing him…

Images blurred together until he saw a blob move through the space, it neared him but he could only groan when it shouted something. Amber eyes looked into his, frantic and tear-stained. _Wake up… what's wrong with me? _

He felt something grab him, recognized the eyes slowly and the mouth that moved in a cry that he couldn't hear but realized was his name. He tried to focus, the way the mouth parted and closed, looked stretched and so distressed…

"… N…!" He felt whatever was crushing him move, shift just slightly that air rushed into his chest and filled his boggled mind. Clarity burned up his nostrils like the dust curling in the air, making him let out a sharp groan and his body twitched, forcing him on his side and making the world-right side up again.

"… Ean… J…!" He heard, but couldn't seem to shake off that buzzing in the back of his ears, couldn't seem to shake off the desire to push away everyone and just curl and sleep. It hurt… _God, everything hurts. _

"Jean!" The word struck him like a bullet, jumping down his spine to collapse at the base of his hips and he could feel his body lift, gripping to stone and rubble. His knee was aching, his hands felt scathed, but he was turning and suddenly his lungs couldn't handle all the dust and pressure—a violent cough ripped through his throat and he felt pressure on his neck: a hand.

Everything assaulted his mind then, the horror, the violence, the fear when he realized that huge set of eyes they had seen over the window had belonged to a titan—no…Annie. Annie was here. Annie was alive… but why…? How…?

"Jean! Can you hear me, are you alright?!" Connie's voice hit him again, and he had to shake his head and nearly winced when his chest protested.

"I'm fine," He wheezed, and felt something sharp dig into his head. "Agh!"

"Careful," Connie exclaimed and his hand reached up to force Jean's head to duck before helping him to his feet, "You nearly impaled yourself on that beam there."

Jean frowned and glanced up, sure enough he saw the beam—saw how close it would've ripped him apart. His stomach gave a violent lurch, but Jean forced himself to straighten. He winced, lifting a hand to grip to his head and feeling blood stain his fingers where the metal had scratched him.

"What's going on?" Jean asked, turning wide eyes on Connie's. "Is Annie still here?"

Connie's face turned grim, "She's—"

Another crash sounded and they both glanced up, Jean noticed how they had ended up behind a large piece of rubble, and it obscured their vision to the gaping hole that had once been windows and walls of stone. A shriek broke through the air before it was suddenly silenced and they both scrambled out of the way of their current location.

Jean let out a slow gasp to Connie's grunt of despair. The immense shape of Annie's figure was crouched ahead, blue eyes wide as she looked at the body in her hands—it was one of the Military Policemen, a woman with bright brown hair and she thrashed and kicked, sobbing. Annie's face appeared disinterested before carelessly tossing the woman to the side. The woman's shriek's ended the moment her body hit the ground and out of sight.

"We've got to get out of here," Connie said, stepping out from behind the rubble in search for a route of escape, "I don't know where the others are."

"Where's Mikasa?" Jean asked, dropping a bloodstained hand to grip his side, grimacing when he felt the cloth of his suit had torn and skin was dripping with blood. It was a shallow cut, but it hurt like hell. Connie shook his head, looking battered and bruised, but alright.

"Last I saw, Commander Erwin had her in his arms… I haven't seen—," He stopped, gasping deeply, eyes widening with newfound horror. He was moving before Jean could try to stop him, "Oh my god, Historia!" Jean followed, feeling his chest constrict at the way Connie shouted. His eyes followed Connie has he rushed past their hiding place and to a large piece of wall that lay over the bloodstained ground. A panic lunged at his heart and made it burst into a gallop, upon seeing pale blonde hair and tossed hands beneath the stone.

"Jean, help me get this off of her, quick!" Connie shouted, yanking at his suit and hastily pressing it over the fallen bride's side. Jean moved, grateful his legs weren't injured aside from some bruising, and when he reached Connie, he nearly collapsed.

"Connie… Oh, God, no…" The officer wheezed, feeling a tremor begin in his hands as he saw the state of their beloved friend. Connie was pressing the suit to Historia's side tightly, hands stained with blood. Lilac and daisy petals were strewn around her, speckled with blood. Her white dress was a deep shape of crimson near her belly where a long metal beam protruded from her side, the beam supported a chunk of rock and stone away from the rest of her body. Had the beam hit anywhere else, the rest of the rubble would've completely crushed her. A thin stream of crimson was dribbling down the corner of her lip. Her eyes were still half-open—was she even conscious? Could she even be alive…?

"She's still breathing, Jean," Connie exclaimed, rubbing the back of his hand against his cheek, accidentally smearing gore on the skin as he did so, "Quick, we have to move this thing off of her before she bleeds to death! Jean!"

The shout seemed to have snapped him to his senses, forcing his eyes away from Historia's fallen body to approach the boulder above her. But, how? Where should they push?

"Jean!" Connie screamed again and he couldn't help but feel his own hysteria work against him.

"I can't move this fucking thing on my own, Connie!" Jean bellowed, feeling useless, "One wrong move and it can crush her!"

"I'm trying to stop her bleeding, figure something out!" Connie snapped back. Jean whirled around, his hands running through his hair in desperation, trying to find something—anything—big enough to move the immense piece of debris out of the way. Through the dust, he saw Annie's hand reach through the entrance push and lift rocks away. It confused him. _Why isn't she just killing people? What is she doing?_ It was as if… she were searching for something… or someone…

An idea suddenly hit him in the back of the head, and before he could think, he was surging forward, feeling wind and dust hit his face and clothes as he tried to stand in plain sight.

Behind him, Connie screamed for him, "Jean, what are you doing?! Jean!"

"I'm finding a way to get that off her!" Jean shouted, and began to throw his arms up, waving them like a madman and screaming. "Annie! Hey, over here!"

"Jean, don't!" Connie cried, but Jean ignored him. Pushing himself up a piece of rubble, he scrambled up the broken piece of stone, grunting viciously when metal and glass bit and ripped into his hands and knees. When he managed to get himself high enough, he was waving again, screaming and hollering despite the agony in his side, the heat that poured down the wound beneath his ribs.

Annie's blue eyes turned and finally blinked up, landing on his figure before widening with surprise. Jean let out another shout, "Over here, you stupid bitch!" He roared before he turned and jumped off the stone, nearly twisting his ankle when he landed roughly on the ground. Running, he swerved around another piece of debris, exclaiming when he saw her hand land close to him with a crash before lifting again. When he rushed back to Connie, the soldier was screaming at him to stop.

"Why are you bringing her over here?!"

"Just shut up and hold on to Historia!" He exclaimed, before skidding behind the large piece of rubble that stuck to Historia's body, when he got close enough he could hear her wheezing.

"C-Con…nie…" her voice came out tiny through the crashes and screams around them. The soldier scrambled close to her when Annie's large fingers peeked over and curled around the stone. Jean crawled toward the blonde girl, holding on to her shoulders tightly and hoping against hope that this was a good idea. It was too late to go back. The piece of debris moved and began to pull away, Historia let out a gurgling scream, blood squirting from her side to hit Connie against his jaw and shirt. The massive beam was finally yanked out, and a bright stream of sunlight fell over them after it was tossed away.

Jean and Connie moved fast, pressing hands firmly against the open wounds and trying to staunch the bleeding.

"You idiot, what have you done?!" Connie shouted, shaking hands pressing his suit tighter against the hole in the young blonde's side. She was wailing softly now, tears and blood mingling beneath her face, fingers reaching behind where Connie knelt.

"…Min…Armin…" She sobbed, coughing up blood.

"You wanted to get the damn thing off!" Jean roared back, but was starting to regret bringing Annie's attention over.

"Well now you brought Annie's attention here, you idiot!" Connie snarled back. Suddenly, those fingers returned, moving slowly over to them and looming above them. "Quick, grab her and let's get out of here!" Jean nodded, moving quickly toward the crying woman's side, and tried to scoop her up as gently as he could. Almost immediately he could feel her blood run down his torso. Connie's jacket was doing very little to staunch the bleeding.

Historia let out another little wail, blinking up with wide blue eyes and skin so pale it sent jolts of fear down his core. "Armin…Ar…min…" She wheezed, appearing unresponsive.

"She's losing too much blood!" Jean exclaimed, before ducking under a finger. Swiftly, they escaped, dodging debris and fallen people. Bodies and limbs stuck out in awkward angles beneath pieces of stone and shards of glass, reminding them all too much of a past they had thought they had escaped. More crashes, more screams and Jean was squeezing Historia's body as tightly to his body as he could, hoping the added pressure would keep her from bleeding out.

"Where's the door?" Connie wheezed, footsteps landing next to Jean as they tried to move out of the way from Annie's reaching fingers. A sudden shout to Jean's left made him look to over his shoulder, nearly stumbling when he saw Sasha, leg caught under a wooden beam, dress torn and sobbing as she tried to push herself out.

"Sasha!" He screamed, feeling both relief and fear overwhelm him when he saw she couldn't get out from under the beam. Her eyes searched frantically around for him before landing on his eyes, she let out a loud cry of relief.

"Jean!" She exclaimed, waving bloodstained hands at him. He could see several cuts and gashes over her bare arms and shoulders, saw a thin sliver of glass protruding from her hip.

"Jean, don't!" Connie shouted, grabbing at his shoulders and pushing him on. "Don't attract Annie over to her!"

Jean tried to slow down, tried to shove Connie's hands away from his shoulders. "No—but, I can't just—Sasha!"

"Jean, please!" He heard before he lost sight of her behind a large beam and stone chunk of wall that looked like the top of the main entrance. Connie gave him a firm shove, forcing him ever faster.

"You take Historia out of here," Connie ordered behind him, panting heavily. "I'll worry about Sasha, but you have to hurry! Hurry or Historia could die!"

"What about Annie?"

Connie let out a sharp grunt, "Leave that to me, I'll distract her than get to Sasha. Just _move_! And try to find Captain Levi!" Just like that Connie was making a turn and leaving him to fend for himself, and Jean had to bite down on his lip to keep from breaking down—hating himself for not being able to go to the woman he loves. In his arms, Historia gave a little whimper, and when he looked down her eyelids were dropping, a red bubble bursting between her lips as she struggled to breathe.

"No, no nonono, no, Historia!" Jean shouted, trying not to shake her too roughly, "Stay with me. Stay awake, don't you dare fall asleep on me now!" Ahead he saw the door to the south side of the Dining hall, partly opened and partly closed as whoever survived the initial explosion tried to squeeze in. Soldiers behind the doors pulled people in as fast as they could, shouting orders amongst the screams and shouts for help.

"Move!" Jean shouted as he neared the door, "Get out of the way, this is an emergency!"

"Kirschstein!" He heard, and to his relief he saw Alex, blood oozing from a cut on his temple and from one of his nostrils, but the man was helping people through.

"Alex, help me get her to the infirmary," Jean ordered, but another crash shook the room, bursting a sharp gale of air and dust through the space and making people give shouts of panic. Alex had ducked instinctively, gray blue eyes jumping to the source of the crash and letting out a low gasp of horror. "Alex!"

The soldier snapped back to look into Jean's eyes before flicking down to the figure in his arms, lips parting through a low grunt and nodding swiftly. "What happened?"

"Metal beam went through her side, I think it may have ruptured something but I don't know…I'm not a medic."

Alex nodded, "She's bleeding too profusely, we can't get her to the infirmary in time. Everyone move, we've got a serious problem here! Cray! Kirschstein's got Historia Reiss, and she's badly wounded!"

The crowd parted reluctantly, wanting nothing more than to escape through the only exit they had, a huge burly soldier appeared behind the door, shoving people out of the way the second his small brown eyes landed on Jean and the bloodied Historia in his arms.

"Out of the way!" He bellowed, shoving people and making way for Jean and Alex to push through. The raven haired soldier reached up to Jean, grasping to Historia's limp wrist and pinching two fingers against the joint.

"Her heartbeat is too low," Alex muttered as they pushed through people and finally within the safety of the hallways. People were running, this way and that while soldiers rushed in, some of them already bearing their 3DMG on their hips as they ushered guests out of the ruined dining hall. So many people were wounded and were being rushed to the infirmary. Alex's narrow eyes tightened before looking back up, brightening when he saw another group of soldiers fast approaching. Jean recognized them as some of the doctors and staff that worked the infirmary, he could feel some relief knowing that they were here.

"Lieutenant Alfons!" Alex exclaimed, urging Jean quickly toward a man with dirty blond hair and deep-set green eyes. The man looked away from a soldier with a broken wrist, to meet their eyes. Once he saw Historia, he straightened and approached them immediately.

"What's the status?" He asked and Jean nearly shouted with exasperation. Alex beat him to it.

"She's been impaled, sir. Her heartbeat is dangerously low, I'm suspecting some massive hemorrhaging and even internal bleeding. She's non-responsive. If we don't get her to intensive care, she won't last long." The bowl-cut explained, voice shockingly calm despite the shaking in his hands. Jean threw him an impressed glance, but turned back to look at the Lieutenant.

The tall, middle-aged man gave them a rapid series of nods before turning around, "This way," He ordered. "I need six medics with me now! Someone find Lieutenant Briggs and tell her we need space for an emergency operation! I need one-hundred milligrams of…!" Jean stopped paying attention then, looking down to meet Historia's struggling gaze.

"Hold on, Historia. Just hold on, okay?" He said softly, blinking back tears as she gazed off into the distance, unhearing. "Come on, 'Tori, just stay with me, okay? We're going to get you help… just hold on… please…"

Several minutes later the sound of crashes and explosions fell silent, and when Jean had placed Historia's body on a white cot, she had already passed out. Before he could do or say anything more, he was shoved out of a room alone with another soldier, whom held him back as he tried to stay with the blonde woman. In the end, the doors shut, and he could do nothing save collapse to his knees and sob.

"Please… please…" He wept, gripping to his pants and gritting his teeth. He had never felt so useless in all his life. "Please… someone… please…"

* * *

_This world is so cruel… _

_There. It is there. I can hear him. He is close… not here. _

_Where?_

_Where?_

_I… _

_He is there. He is there. I can feel him (hear him? Taste him?) close… somewhere. Only way… must find…_

_Find… _

_Find…_

_**Kill… ?—**_No! Can't, must not—**Kill. Destroy… eat… eat…eateateat**

_Find him. That is the way. __**Kill—**__NO!—__**Eat**_

_Find… him. _

_Must find him._

_Him._

Him.

**Him.**

_**Eren…**_

* * *

Footsteps rushed up and down, cries and screams echoed everywhere. For a long moment all she could see was dust, all this dust and falling rocks and flying wood splinters. Someone had shoved her, or maybe it was something because when it hit, it hit her hard enough to send her sprawling to the ground. Something sharp bit into her back and shoulder, but she bit her lip to keep from screaming.

She tasted blood.

Green eyes flickered open, trying to see through the dust and smoke, to make sense of what had happened. Wind whipped and burst around her, shoving dirt and grit into her eyes and mouth, she turned and spit.

Li let out a hard grunt, noting the sharp pain in her shoulder didn't ebb, but further got worse and when she reached up to feel what was causing it, her fingers met a thick sliver of glass. Pain reverberated through her, inching through her side and stabbing her back. Swearing brutally under her breath, Li pushed herself up to her elbows, wincing when something caught on her hair and forced her to stay down.

Looking up, she saw that a thick strand of her auburn hair was caught within a huge beam of wood, just inches away and reminding her how close she came to certain death. Reaching with her good hand, she grabbed the strand and yanked against the wood, grunting when it ripped free to fall against her sweat drenched cheek. Fingers reached to wipe the sweat away, but when she saw them, they came back stained a fierce red.

"Great," She groaned, and tried to find the source—it was the throbbing pain above her brow and near her scalp. Hot and slippery, she tried to see how deep it was, but it didn't seem to be more than a flesh wound. "A flesh wound that fucking hurts."

Looking up and away from the beam of wood (it appeared like it had been a part of the main doors) Li felt her throat clench upon seeing the body of the priest, half of it crushed against the gazebo, blood pouring between his open mouth and wide unseeing eyes.

Her stomach dipped and she looked away, fighting the urge to retch when she saw more bodies crushed beneath the roof of the gazebo. The entire structure had been crushed by a huge piece of debris, killing all who were within it.

Glancing down, Li tried to think straight, trying to pick herself up and dust her ruined dress off. She couldn't, a fierce trembling rushed through her limbs, making the shard sticking through her shoulder feel like it was being dug deeper. A small cry of pain was yanked from her throat, and she was reaching again to grab the stabbing object. Once, twice, Li tried to pull but the pain was so strong she could do nothing but bite back screams and blink away tears.

Another crash sounded, more screams rose and she could feel the ground shake with every thunderous thud that echoed ahead of her. Auburn hair whipped around her cheeks, and grazed her collarbone where she felt a long gash bleed and stain the lilac of her bodice. Blinking up, Li tried to find someone, anyone else beside her. All she saw was debris, gore, and massive hands that could belong to no one else but a Titan rake through the chaos. Ahead, she could see large blue eyes and blonde hair, a small smile lifting the lips of the beast ahead.

Li felt her eyes well up. Hot, angry tears fell down her smoke covered cheeks and burning down to her neck, drying when another gust of wind blew through the cracks of the huge opening that was now the entrance. "Why…" She whispered, gritting her teeth as she clenched her fists over her skinned knees. "Why…"

She watched, helplessly, while the female titan plucked a woman in her grasp. The Military Police emblem stained with bright crimson on her back as she struggled in the Titan's grasp. As if tossing nothing else than a doll, the Titan threw the woman's body to the side. Li saw her body flail as it fell to the ground out of sight, her screams ending abruptly.

"Why can't you bastards just _DIE?!_" Li screeched, feeling her rage feed her bones life and she stood to her feet, grimacing when she felt the shard send white hot jolts of pain through her back. Never before did she wish she had her gear with her as much as she did now.

She took a step, feeling something in her spine pinch and the result ended up making her left leg feel numb. Li nearly collapsed, lifting her good arm to grab onto the nearest bit of rubble to steady herself. The broken stone bit at her palms, Li shoved herself back to her feet.

"… L… Li… Hanna…" The voice hit her with the force of a million knives, cold and disastrous. Li froze, disbelieving as she listened, hoping that it was a figment of her rage-muddled imagination. The wind howled before dying, screams and cries fading as she tried to focus.

_No._

"Hanna… Hanna…" She heard again, and Li began to move, spurred by panic and fear, rage dying like the wind. Limping, she pushed on, trying to find the source of the voice and its quiet sobbing. _No, no, God. Please, no…_

"Li…" The voice came again, to the right! Li stumbled forward, feeling blood drip hot down her back. The pinch in her back only felt tighter, like someone were pulling her nerves harder, and harder. "Hanna…"

Another tremor and Li fell to her knees, crying out when her shin hit rock and felt the skin scrap against stone and splintered wood. Relentless, Li moved again, pushing herself and shoving herself passed pools of blood, shattered chairs and dust covered flower petals. Through the dust, Li searched frantically, green eyes scanning what she could in search of the source, hoping that it wasn't as bad.

_She's going to be fine… When I see her, she's going to be okay. She's going to be alright. Please… please… please! _

"Li…"

She heard again, and looked down before letting out a choked wail, "No!" Scrambling over uneven ground and loose stones, Li ignored the screams of her shoulder, hurrying to get to the crushed body of her sister. A huge piece of glass had sliced through Riza's chest, wood and stone crushing her body from the waist down. Blood was pooling beneath her and the pool spread slowly. The younger Dorinski was gazing up at the ceiling, blood bubbling against her lips, tears fell from her eyes in wet trails down her temples, mingling with blood from a cut on her cheek.

As soon as she was close, Li collapsed, feeling her body shake as she crawled closer to the auburn haired woman on the ground. "Hanna…" Riza wheezed in a tiny voice, broken with fear and sadness.

"I'm here," Li said, lifting bloodied fingers to part dust peppered auburn hair out of the girl's forehead, tears fell down her eyes without restraint. "I'm here, Ri', I'm here."

"It hurts, Hanna…" Riza whimpered, fingers slowly lifting from her bloodied chest, wavering. Li lifted a shaky hand to grip the girl's hand, it felt so cold beneath her rage-heated flesh. "Hanna… my chest hurts…"

Li bit back a sob, feeling the pressure of the tremors and her sister's grave wound send her chest rattling with numb pain. "I know, Ri'. I know it hurts. You're gonna be okay… I promise."

Riza's green eyes swiveled to meet Li's, faded green on painful green. A small smile quirked the dying girl's lips, "Liar."

Li felt a laugh burst through her lips, grief-stricken and hysterical. "I know, I know. I shouldn't lie…" She said, but Riza's eyes were looking away, up above.

"I'm sorry…" Riza whispered and Li's heart caved into the hole that was her stomach.

"No, no," Li begged, scooting closer and ignoring the harshness of stone, the cold wind that surrounded them and the blood that stained the bottom of her dress. Her blood. Her sister's blood. "Riza, don't. Just hang on, okay? We're going to get you help, you're gonna be fine. Please… don't—FITZ! CONNIE! SOMEONE PLEASE!" She screamed, looking up to see the Titan's hands reach through the entrance, grabbing stone and lifting it, a loud scream burst when the stone lifted.

"Someone!" Li screeched, gripping to her sister's hand and trying to find someone close by. Another crash and someone else screamed—nearby she heard Jean's voice, crowded by footsteps and screams of everyone else.

"Hanna…" Li heard again and she looked back down, to see Riza shaking her head slowly. "It's okay… Hanna…"

_No. No, no. Please…_

Riza coughed, blood flying from her lips, landing on Li's chest, her jaw. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry I made you push us away…"

_Is that what she thought? What she believed? _"No, Ri', it's not—it wasn't your fault… please, just don't speak, save your breath. I'm going to get you out of here, little sister, so don't you dare leave now!"

But, Riza wasn't listening, she just kept shaking her head, blood dripping down her chin and smearing through her jaw before sinking behind her ear. Li inched closer, lifting her sister's head to cradle between her arms. More crashes, more tremors, more screaming… this was hell.

"Come on, Ri', I'm here. I'm not leaving you again. I'm going to save you, just like I promised mama. I'm going to keep you safe…" But the words came out shaking, torn by hiccups and sobs of grief. Li knew it was too late. Her sister was dying.

And there was nothing she could do.

"You haven't… called me that… since we were little… Hanna…" Riza was murmuring now, a soft gasp leaving her chest in what once would have been a chuckle, the light in her once vibrant green eyes fading. In her arms, Li didn't see the soldier she had trained in her squad, she didn't see the ridiculous woman who poured over romance books and sighed behind Fitz's back and stared longingly at his frame. Instead, Li saw the little girl whom had gasped so loudly, cheered with a squeal when she had brought her the basket of ribbons. Saw the little girl who spun in vibrant dresses and begged her to play dolls. She saw the girl who had cried when Li walked out the door, bag packed and hoisted behind her back. _"Don't go, Hanna! Please, Papa didn't mean it! Please, don't leave me alone!" _

"I'm not going anywhere…" Li whispered, lifting her sister's head to her chest, cradling her broken cheek and running trembling fingers through her auburn hair, now dirtied and stained with blood.

"…Don't tell… Lidi…" Riza's body gave a sudden violent lurch, and the heat of blood spread further and further. When Riza's body finally fell limp, her eyes were still open, gazing into the broken sky above them and the last remains of a smile faded with the breath that ended past crimson stained lips.

"Ri…?!" Li gasped, "Riza?!" She shook her trying to get her baby sister to look at her again, but Riza's eyes didn't move, her lips didn't mutter any more words. "Riza, don't stay quiet now! Please, Riza?! Riza?! Riza, say something! Anything!"

Nothing… and the realization that her sister had gone swelled her chest with such a horrid pain… no words could explain the length of this failure, the agony that flowed pins and needles, acid and ice through her soul.

"Riza, I'm sorry…! Riza, please… don't go…!" Tears fell like rain from her eyes, landing on Riza's cold cheek and landing in soft thuds against the corner of her lips. She felt so cold… no matter how hard she begged… Riza was gone.

"Riza!" Li sobbed, rocking back and forth as she held her sister's head in her arms, wishing to take back all the years she had treated her coldly, wishing to go back in time and run back into that little girl's arms and promise not to leave. She wished she could go back and sit next to her sister while she ate lunch alone, punch the lights out of all the soldiers that had teased her for her height. She had thought she had been doing her a favor… teaching her to be stronger… but she had only further caused her sister pain.

A low wail burst from her throat, filling her as she tossed her head back and screamed to the air above. _Oh, mama… Please forgive me… _

"Li?!" She heard, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Riza was gone. Her sister was dead. She had been powerless, she had done nothing… and because of that Riza would never come back, would never squeal or get on her nerves… Riza was gone… she was gone…

"Li, what's going on?!" She heard, and the voice made her want to die.

"Go away, Fitz!" Li screamed, shielding her sister's head away. Footsteps approached and she heard a gasp, before a thud. When she looked up, Fitz had fallen to his knees, his wide amber eyes staring at Riza's body—shocked.

"Get out of here," Li barked, "It's not safe! Get somewhere safe!"

"Li…" He breathed, staring at Riza's bloodied face with a look of profound agony. "Is she…? It can't be…"

"GO!" Li shrieked, reaching for anything to throw at him, but he was already looking into her eyes, filled with tears.

"But…Riza…" He protested, shaking his head, the wild brown locks of his hair shaking with the wind. He was cradling his arm, obviously broken. Li shook her head again, blinking away tears and baring her teeth at the idiot.

She snapped, "Riza is dead!" Fitz flinched, recoiling at her harsh tone. "Now get out of here."

"I can't leave you behin—,"

"That's an order, cadet!" she snarled, and Fitz let out a small exclamation when the ground beneath them shook again. "You can't help me even if you tried, not with that broken arm… now leave! Don't make me say it again!" Fitz's eyebrows knitted over his forehead, tears falling from his eyes as he looked back at the fallen woman in Li's lap before nodding once.

Squeezing amber eyes tight, he stood and ran off, not looking back once. Another breeze struck her as Li looked back down to her sister's face. Lifting a hand, she softly pushed away straying locks of hair from her baby sister's face, lifting bloody fingers to gently close her sister's eyes. Through the crashes and destruction, Li felt a small memory reach the front of her mind. It was one of their youth, when they had gone with their mother to the funeral of a young boy that died of disease. The boy's older brother had sang a song during the ceremony, soft and beautiful… the words never left her and as she gazed into her sister's pale face, felt it more appropriate now than ever…

"_P…Prosti menya, myaldshiy sestrenka…_" Li shuddered out the words, voice breaking over the notes as she tried to sing her sister goodbye. "_Ya tak pred toboy vinovat. Pyitatsya vernut' nyelzya. Togo, chto vzyala zyemlya._"

Another crash and dust fell over her head, but Li didn't care, didn't mind the pebbles that struck her shoulders and made her wound ache. That pain was nothing. That pain she could handle… that pain was nothing…

The words continued to fall from her lips, shuddering and tiny as she hiccupped, caressing Riza's head as she rocked back and forth, "_Kto znayet zakon Byitiya, pomog byi mne nayti otvet. Zhestoko oshibsya ya; Ot smerti lekarstva nyet._"

Footsteps rushed close, then faded as Li cried, feeling the pain settle within her throat where it refused to escape despite her cries. It's too late… It's too late…

"Li!" She heard. Her shoulder lifted in an uncaring shrug, but a fierce zing of agony ripped through the movement, making her cry out and clench fingers against Riza's face. Footsteps neared and she felt hands grab her around the ribs, pulling at her. Li shook off the hands, ignoring the biting pain of her shoulder.

"Let me go!" She shouted, lifting tear-stained eyes angrily into a pair of wide amber eyes, blood caked the side of his face. Connie looked down before his mouth set in a grim line, eyes finding Riza's head on her lap, much like Fitz had done just a moment ago… or was it hours? Li didn't care.

"Li, we have to leave," Connie spoke, voice soft but firm. Li shook her head, gripping tighter to her sister's head.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promised…" She snapped, hating the hysterical edge that shattered beneath her chest and made her tremble. "I promised her I wouldn't leave. I promised, Connie."

"I'm sorry," He said, grave. "I'm so sorry…"

Li felt a rage unlike any she had ever felt, fill her, making her blood feel like acid in her veins, forcing her limbs to move. Sharply, she tossed her wounded arm up to slap him, but the limb only barely rose before the pain was too much, "_Shut up_."

"It's too dangerous, here, Li." Connie said, looking into her eyes, calm… focused. It made her want to kill him.

"I said I am _not leaving her!_" To her surprise, Connie looked away and for a moment she thought he would get up and leave like Fitz did. Instead, he threw a hand up to her shoulder, grasped it around the thick piece of glass that was embedded in her skin and gave it a violent yank. Li let out a shriek of agony, feeling her arm go numb and feel like it had been lit on fire, blood ran down her arm and in this moment of weakness, Connie grabbed her round her waist and pulled her away from Riza's corpse.

"No!" She screamed, thrashing in his hold when he curled an arm under her legs. "Put me down! I'll kill you, I'll kill you!"

"I'm sorry," He said again, pressing her tight against his chest, forcing her head to rest between his shoulder and neck. "I'm so sorry…"

"Riza!" Li's shouts turned hysterical, crushing her throat as she tried and tried in vain to return to her sister. She sobbed, watching the unresponsive body of the auburn haired woman get further and further away. She was gone… _I promised! I promised! _"Riza—Riza… No, no… Riza!"

Another crash and she saw a piece of rubble from above fall, crushing the last of Riza out of sight, Li hid her face then, digging her nose against Connie's neck as she wailed, trembling with agony and failure…

It was too late.

Agonized and livid, Li looked up over Connie's shoulder, glowering hatefully at the hands that searched through the rubble, the blue eyes that stared without comprehensible expression and the small smile that enraged the blood in her veins. Suddenly, the Female Titan's hands stopped, her eyes widening before pulling away and looking somewhere outside the ruined dining hall. In the distance, they could both hear the whirring of gear and see several hooks fly into the air, latching against the Titan's skin as soldiers flew into the air.

Li's eyes watched, taking in with horrid rage how the Female Titan grasped at the lines and wire, yanking them off her skin and throwing the screaming soldiers out of the way, with the same attitude one would have for swatting flies.

"What is she…?!" She heard Connie exclaim, slowing to turn them around and watch. "Annie…"

Annie stood, massive body rising from her crouched position before turning around, sunlight bouncing off her hair and without another glance back, began to run off. Her footsteps shook the ground, sending tremors through the castle and making the weakest parts of the ceiling cave. Connie let out a yelp but turning around and ran as the roar of stones falling cast them in a plume of dust.

Li felt her fingers dig within his jacket, eyes averting as dust and dirt fell around them, holding back the urge to scream as the motions jostled her wounds and hurt her chest. Connie didn't stop running and they moved ever faster, jumping over beams and swerving around stone before finally reaching the door.

People were scarce now, wailing and crying as the castle walls shook. They didn't stop, Connie shoved his way past people while Li bit her lips, wishing this would all just end.

Seconds later, the roaring stopped, the walls remained standing and the cries soon faded. Connie panted heavily, but he didn't stop. Li kept her gaze covered against his shirt, shuddering as he slowed and trying to hold back her weeping once he set her down on what must've been a cot.

"Li…" Connie spoke softly after an eternity of silence between them. She didn't bother holding back.

"I'm going to kill her…! I swear to god, Connie… I'm going to kill her for this! I'll kill her!"

Connie said nothing as she ranted, kept his eyes downcast when she pushed him away and felt the hands of medics reach and press her flat on her stomach. Even so, Li cried, sobbing until she could feel no more tears, feel no more pain.

And in the chaos that surrounded her, Li cast her heart in vengeance, plotting and enduring the seconds that passed until she faded to the black of her mind, picturing her hands ripping swords into Annie's neck before she felt nothing more but the desire to avenge her sister's death.

* * *

"Why…?" The word was soft… a supplication. A need to understand… it fell on deaf ears and a deafening realization that the answer would not come on its own volition. Through the destruction, the rain of stone and dust, dodging hail of glass and piercing slivers of metal, Levi tore through the chaos. In his arms, he held Armin, firm against his chest while the youth succumbed to shock and grief.

"Why…?" The question came again, and the Captain had to squeeze his eyes shut at the pain of being unable to offer the answer his comrade and friend suffered the loss of his wife over. Only… she wasn't his wife. She had almost been his wife… they had been so close to marriage. So close.

Levi didn't know what was crueler, the fact that the wedding was cut so horribly short before they had become husband and wife… or the simple notice that Historia was most likely dead.

Dodging obstacles and scattering people, Levi tried to locate an exit, snarling under his breath when an immense piece of debris nearly killed them—forcing him to double back and find another route in the midst of metal and blood.

Armin had been difficult, though Levi couldn't possibly blame him. The raven haired man had honestly tried to pull attention away from the disaster. After the initial explosion and parting of dust through wind, Levi had been the first to see her… Historia pinned and impaled by a large beam of metal, bleeding and unconscious. He tried to see her, further, realizing that the steel had gone through her side and that even if he did have his equipment—there would be no way he would be able to get that piece of rubble off of her in time.

Levi had to make a call—he had to place the safety of Armin first, make sure he would survive and that the rest of his time would as well (_Oh god, Mikasa… please be alright._) He wasn't too worried, however…

In the moments before the explosion, the very first tremor had been enough to alarm him. He had glanced up, listening to the howl of the wind as his eyes met Erwin's through the space, scowling when he saw the man's face contort into an expression of suspicion… then ultimately, horror.

The moment he did, Levi turned his attention to the windows above, he knew that there was possibly nothing else that could be wrong.

Stunned, he watched along with everyone else as the immense figure of the Female Titan peered through the glass—wide blue eyes looking over the congregation before pulling away. Years of training, of honing the ability to foresee disaster made him snap when the stare had been broken. He turned, and looked across the space to Erwin's eyes—he was looking right back, a fierce expression pushing the blue into razor sharp azure and they came to an instant understanding.

Save Historia.

But, the millisecond they looked away, Levi was confronted with the wide eyed gaze of his beloved. Mikasa looked like someone had punched her in the gut, pale, frightened—the plan fell apart then, Levi wanted nothing more than to rush to her side and make sure she got out safe… but time was against him and there were only a couple of people he could reach.

Screams rose in a cacophony of terror, people rose out of seats to escape when Annie's arm poised itself in a fist just above the windows.

Levi felt his stomach fall as his body careened through the mere couple of yards that separated him from the blond couple. He grabbed the arm nearest to him—Armin—and thought that he still held on to Historia.

He hadn't.

Over his shoulder, Levi saw Erwin, rushing to the nearest person he could get—Mikasa—and was grabbing her around the waist, eager to escape. That was all he saw before a cloud of dust, screeching metal and shattering glass assaulted them and the tremors of stone shaking swallowed the screams and howls from the people within the building.

It was too late.

Something flew past his cheek, severing the skin of his face and the sting and heat nearly made him lose focus. Only, Levi was a veteran. He had survived all these years because he had seen horrors and had acted when everyone else froze… yet… on this day…

They received yet another grim reminder…

That no matter how much one could be prepared, physically, mentally… life was a damn fragile thing and it would break despite the strength they possessed. In their world, not everyone survived. Today, Levi saw that painted in the blood of Historia… the girl he had once berated for weakness, and watched her rise stronger than ever when they understood each other. It was Petra all over again.

"Why…? Annie…" Armin sounded so small, so much like the crying boy of his youth—broken by the loss of his friends and torn by the horrors he'd seen. Levi glanced down at him as he rushed them out of the room as fast as he could, and instantly regretted it.

His eyes had fallen, half-closed in an expression of such profound desolation it forced its way through Levi's throat and scratch at his lungs. He recognized it. He had seen it in his mirror after he had seen Petra's body roll off the cart, seen the way his comrades stared endlessly into the void.

He only hoped that Armin would not fall to the part that usually followed desolation.

"Armin," Levi said after they hid behind a large piece of wood, "Armin, look at me."

He did, and his expression was so wild, so overwhelmed it made the words threaten to cake against Levi's throat. The Captain let out a short cough, blaming dust when his own chest squeezed horribly at the reminder of yet another failure in protecting his family. "You have to run with me."

The boy said nothing, before looking down, eyes falling uselessly against the blood that fell down Levi's left thigh. Rivulets of red coursed down Armin's temple, the head wound looked shallow and so Levi wasn't too worried over it. The wound to his heart, however…

"Armin," Levi said, firmer, "I can't carry you all the way to the exits, you have to run."

Another crash, another screech. Armin looked at his lap, bringing his knees to his face and curling into a ball.

"Armin!"

"I can't... I…"

Levi bit his lip and another crash made dust rain over them, making it hard to see. He felt so tired all of a sudden… Reaching up, Levi grabbed the blond man's face into his hands, lifting his eyes back over to his—he didn't want to see this expression, but he had no choice. "Armin, you can weep for her later, but for now you have to live! She would want you to live!"

"…I'm already dead."

The words stunned him, made his hands nearly falter away as if Armin had burned him. Instead of pulling away, Levi felt rage swirl from the bottom of his stomach. It rose like bile, poison and something putrid that made him want to explode into violent action and when he glanced up, he saw her. Annie was raking large fingers through the hole, pushing debris away as she looked over the destruction.

He saw them. Saw their bodies. Saw her body.

Felt the same rage fill him. Make him see red. Make him want to rip blood into the air, sink blades into those wretched blue eyes of hers and keep the promises of torture he had pressed over her scalp so long ago into a more horrid reality than ever before.

Twice this bitch had taken his squad, his family, and left them in ruins.

_Fool me once…_

Twice, she had ripped his happiness apart and for all he knew—and wished most fervently against—Mikasa could be taken from him… just like Petra…

The rage rose, it rose like a hurricane. He wanted her blood. He would avenge his comrades, he would avenge Petra, Auruo, Erd, and Gunther. He would avenge Historia and all those she had killed with a smile. He would make her blood spill if it was the last thing he would do.

But he couldn't do this by abandoning Armin to the fate of despair.

_I'll come back for you, Titan Whore. _Levi thought loathingly and tore his narrowed eyes from the gaping hole and back toward Armin.

"I'm sorry for this," Levi said once. Armin glanced up, eyebrows furrowing before his eyes rolled to the back of his head. The strike was hard enough to knock him out, and it would bruise, but a bruise was better than certain death. Pushing him over his shoulder, Levi let out a sharp grunt (kid got heavy in the past few years) and set his jaw. Hoisting himself back on his feet, he secured Armin over his shoulders. One arm gripped the unconscious man's arm, the other held to his legs and with a determined huff of air, Levi began to move as quickly as he could around rubble and death.

As he ran, Levi listened.

He listened to each scream and wail that pierced the dirt covered air. He listened to each cry and supplication, each shout for help and each howl of pain. He counted each one.

He counted each body he saw, each puddle of blood, each pair of eyes that stared emptily into nothingness. He counted and kept count, kept the tally clear in his mind.

He kept counting long after he had finally made it through the exit of the escaping throngs of the injured and frightened. He counted each wound, each life taken. The number flew, kept flying and in the dark of Levi's mind, he gave that number swords, and prepped it for battle.

One way or another, Annie would taste his blade and vengeance.

It has long been overdue.

* * *

There was a vicious ringing in the back of his head. Some kind of pulsing and agonizing press of _something_ on his arm and back… For a long and disorienting moment, he had no idea where he was. The ringing continued, spreading through his head and down his neck, tightening jaw muscles to such an extreme, the thought of his teeth shattering passed… and faded.

The air stunk of metal and rust. The scent of rock and dust shoved knives up his nostrils and made breathing feel like a brush with death, but something kept him from allowing himself to fade to the deep recesses of his mind. _So tired… just sleep. _But, he couldn't.

The ringing grew louder, his body vibrating in erratic rhythms and a sudden press against his spine made everything slam back into a reality he wasn't entirely prepared for. The sensation was not unlike being thrown in a pool of syrup only to be yanked out of its hold, and as Erwin struggled to right himself in the situation, his mind still felt like it was dripping with molasses. Sluggish, slow, muddled…

When he came too, his eyes were tearing up, blinking rapidly and feeling grit stab in tiny prickles. A fierce cough shook his chest, scraping at his throat and forcing his head forward. He winced, and when he looked down, realized why his arm was being squeezed in a vice of pins and needles.

A dark head of ink-black hair rested on the crook of his shoulder, further south he saw slanted eyes—closed—a thin, button nose and plump pink lips. The scar under her eye was bruised, while another cut (almost perfectly placed on the opposite side of her face) now marred the skin. Blood had once flowed freely, now oozed slowly and stained her cheek and dribbled into her hair.

_Mikasa…_

Erwin looked up and tried to see where they were, and gasped. Just hovering above them sat an immense piece of broken wall, a jagged edge of window hung above his head like a menacing stalactite. Blue eyes peered away and back down at the unconscious woman in his arms. Slowly, he rose an arm, hissing out in pain when his elbow sent jolts of white hot agony up his arm and neck. He could still move it, so it must've been bruised. Erwin began to seek out a pulse, not able to hear her breaths through the dust falling and crashes still moving around them.

Trembling fingers finally met the junction of her jaw and throat, seeking the soft spot of her pulse and when he found it, Erwin held his breath. A moment passed, then another…

Finally he sighed, relieved when he felt her heartbeat, steady and strong.

"You wouldn't let a disaster kill you even if you tried," He chuckled and let his hand roam down her collar and beneath her breasts. It was safe to bet her dress was ruined. The fabric was completely torn and filthy from top to bottom, ripped by her hip and legs. All over her open skin he could see numerous cuts and bruises, gashes that bled and stained her clothes and made her look close to death.

Her knees were skinned, her elbows and palms bleeding. There was a particularly long gash that spread on her back that worried him, but Erwin knew that they wouldn't do any better if they didn't get out from under this piece of rubble.

It was a miracle they even survived… but at this point, Erwin stopped counting miracles.

None of this should have occurred…

"Who could've done this…?" He muttered to himself, but let the thoughts perish as he looked ahead and tried to find a way out. When he moved, he felt the sting on his spine shoot back up and he let out a short cry of pain. _The hell? _

"…Erwin?!" the Commander's head shot up, nearly hitting his skull on stone before searching for the source of the voice. He glanced up and saw a pair of legs, shoeless and bloodied, but looking alright.

"Down here!" He croaked and let out another sharp cough, his back screamed in protest.

Those legs moved and appeared around the boulder pining him down. Craning his head up he felt his heart settle easily in his chest. "Rico…!" He breathed, happy to see she was alright. Bloodied, bruised and cradling her shoulder, but alright. Silver eyes met his, mirroring the relief he felt and saw a small smile light its way through her lips.

"Thank God," she muttered before moving closer. "I thought you died! I saw the boulder land on you and Mikasa. You should be dead."

Erwin shook his head, grimacing, "Nope, I'm very much alive. We both are."

Rico nodded, before ducking—another crash filled the room, someone screamed and suddenly the crashes shook the ground… then again… then again… each time fading with every passing moment.

"What's happening?" He asked, trying to lift himself to his elbow. The pain on his back intensified, narrowing to a specific point and making him bite down to hold back from screaming.

"The Titan," Rico spoke again, her voice coming out harsh and filled with venom. "It's leaving."

Erwin narrowed his gaze, feeling something drip down his forehead, whether it was blood or sweat, he didn't know. "Did she grab anyone, do you see her?"

Rico's eyebrows furrowed before she straightened and looked around the stone, after a moment she returned, shaking her head. "She got away. I can't tell, but… it looked like her hands weren't carrying anyone."

Erwin nodded, sighing while his brain worked to understand Rico's report. The pain was too much, making it hard to think, to breathe… he needed to get out from under the boulder. "How hurt are you?" Rico's voice came again. Erwin focused on his body for a second. Legs felt fine, as were his toes… his hips were aching and his back was seriously in pain… but all else… he was fine.

"Mild," Erwin grunted, trying to shift further, but stopped when the pain on his back shot up, shooting pain through his legs and making them feel strangely numb. "I think something happened to my back…"

Rico's eyes widened, "Can you move?"

He nodded, "Yes, I should be able to…"

The silver haired woman gave another sigh before glancing down at the woman in his arms, her eyes narrowed, "She's not…?"

"No, no," Erwin shook his head, feeling several strands of his hair fall over his forehead. "She's unconscious. I was able to shield her through most of it."

Rico nodded again before kneeling down and moving gingerly toward them. Erwin watched, strangely fascinated with the way her eyes gleamed, serious and determined, the way her silver hair fell around her cheeks. Up close, he could see her lower lip had been split, and made the bit of flesh burn an angry red. Rico's tongue darted out over the wound as she moved close enough to grab on to Mikasa.

"Alright, let's get you two out of here…" Rico said, her hand reaching over to them. Erwin extended his arm toward her, nudging at Mikasa's head as he tried to reach, but something must've happened because no sooner did their hands brush that a stream of dust fell over them. Rico flinched, glancing up at the rock that encompassed them when her eyes landed on the large bit of stone and glass that hung like the teeth of a guillotine.

She swore, urging a chuckle from Erwin's throat. Despite this, he reached again and their fingers brushed. Rico snapped out of it and looked back at Erwin, scowling. "Erwin, I don't think I can get you two out of here on my own."

He frowned, and looked back up. She was right.

"No…" He sighed after a moment. "No, I don't think so either. One of your shoulders is injured, right?"

"It got dislocated during the initial attack," She replied, sounding so mechanical despite nursing a wound. "I managed to get it back into place before I found you… it's still pretty useless. I don't think I'll be able to sustain much weight on it…"

"Can you get Mikasa?" He asked, glancing back down at the unconscious girl. Rico tightened her lips in a thin line before nodding, she lifted a hand to her glasses—one of the lenses harbored a long crack down the side—and pushed them up the bridge of her nose.

She leaned closer, pressing her weight on her knees before grabbing the nearest thing she could get to, which was Mikasa's arm, and gave a slow pull. "Probably not the best time to…tell you…" She panted as she pulled. The raven haired woman's body was slowly dragged off Erwin's arm and he gave a sigh of relief when he felt the circulation return over his limb. "But…I sent your… little message along to the Commander. Not a bad little stunt."

"Not the best time," Erwin agreed.

Rico smiled darkly, "Was that kiss of yours a stunt too or did you really mean it?"

The question made him look up at her, stumped. Rico didn't seem to want to look at him, "Major Harke approached me… said a few things that bothered me."

Erwin felt a surge of panic nearly fill him—there's no way she saw him and Hanji. The last thing he needed was Rico refusing to work with him because of his relationship with the scientist—schooling his features, Erwin let his eyebrows fall into a scowl. "What things?"

"I believed I asked a question first…" She said, and her lips turned into a smile that was both lovely and biting. He didn't think that was even possible…

Erwin bit down on his lip, feigning pain as he tried to gather his mind enough to give her a proper answer. _Should I lie, or tell the truth? _But… what was the truth?

He would be lying to Rico if he said that he had meant to kiss her, to demonstrate sentiment… but, he would be lying to himself if he said that it was merely a ruse. Perhaps, it had started off that way. But… after losing Hanji, was it so bad to have something to lean against? Rico hasn't been a bad support so far, in fact, she's been nearly exactly what Erwin needed to cope against the solitude and the loneliness.

That realization alone nearly made him feel sick to his stomach.

"I meant it," He said, and thought the words would come out monotonous, empty. Instead, they didn't, they carried some kind of emotional weight that actually sounded genuine. Rico didn't seem to expect this. He didn't either. "I wouldn't use you like that, Rico…" _see that… that was the lie._

Rico paused for a moment, staring at his blue eyes as if she were trying to tell apart the truth from the lie. She kept going, dragging Mikasa's unconscious frame until she could wrap her arms beneath the girl's underarms. To his relief, the matter seemed to have been put to rest as she said nothing else.

That is… until she looked back into his eyes, "I sent your message within the book I had."

"Did you read it?"

"No."

He didn't expect her to, but something in the way she met his gaze made the word feel easy… too easy being spoken. He had no choice but to believe her, for now.

"Thank you, Rico." He said and just like that she pulled away enough to disappear out of sight for a moment. Several minutes later a large group of soldiers appeared at Rico's insistence. By then, Erwin had dozed off, his head aching while the soldiers hoisted and shoved the boulder up and away just enough for him to get dragged out. When his back met open ground, he breathed out a sigh of relief that turned into a cry of pain.

"What's wrong?!" One of them shouted and Rico was at his side in moments, pulling him to see. At that point, he was seeing in splotches and his breathing felt more laborious. All he saw was the way her face darkened.

"He's wounded." She stated. "We need to get him into the infirmary immediately. Get a stretcher, and one of you find me Captain Levi!"

"What about Ackerman?"

Ackerman… _"Don't tell them, Erwin." _

"_You should tell her." _

"_I don't need that brat clinging to me like she clings to Eren." _

"_She'll find out sooner or later." _

_Levi's eyes narrowed, "Then let it be later."_

So strange… of all memories to bring up… why that one? Erwin didn't know, finding it harder to stay away even as he felt Rico's hands hold to his shoulders, caressing his back in soothing strokes. _She believed me. _

"Her wounds are not as serious, but I'm not liking that bump on her head. One of you take her up, find the Lieutenant in charge of the infirmary and explain the situation… I'll wait here with the Commander, but we need that stretcher now."

"Yes, ma'am."

Footsteps came and went, and Erwin let his eyes fall close, feeling cold and numb and the way Rico's hands rubbed his skin even as he drifted. In the dark of his mind, Erwin could hear them. He could still hear the wailing. It reminded him of his mother.

* * *

There was a buzzing in her ears… like a roar of angry bees, or the sound of trees being whipped about in a flurry of wind and rage. Her skin didn't prickle with the stinging of pain, and her hair remained still beneath her scalp, nevertheless the roar did not cease. Despite all predisposition and evidence to the contrary, she could feel the urge to wave her arms around her to dispel the angry insects from tearing into her flesh. It seemed like the most sense of reasons as to why she kept hearing such a horrid sound.

It didn't occur to her until later, that she should've been concerned more about the fact she couldn't see… or that her body felt like it had been thrown several times against a cement wall.

When it did… All Mikasa could do was scream.

She didn't remember how long she screamed, only that her voice grated on her ears as much as the roaring in her head did, and when she did feel like her body was being touched, she tried very hard to fight back.

There was just… so… much… pain.

Voices came, and voices went, finally her body seemed to remember what hands felt like, and clothing.

"Get them off, please!" She howled, wondering why these bees seemed to care more about holding her down than stinging her. Voices… just voices… and suddenly, they weren't bees anymore. The bees were gone, the whipping was gone.

"Mikasa," She heard, clear as day and clear as everything that made sense and was right in this perfect, cruel little world. She could feel his hands on her skin—like a balm to a burn. Feel how they grasped at her face, her neck—lifting her head to press her forehead to his (because she _knew _it was his. Desperately, she let her hands do the searching for him, even if her eyes could not.

"Levi," Mikasa nearly sobbed with relief. "Levi, Levi… Levi…"

She could breathe his air, smell his scent, rough and bloodstained, but still refreshing and safe. He was close, breathing in slow patterns that lured her into following, like when her blood was rushing and he knew she needed to relax. In just moments, Mikasa could feel the pounding and the roar settle in her skin and cool down to a slow simmer—the only simmer that counted.

"It's alright," He spoke again, she trusted him. She couldn't see, and she trusted him.

"I can't see…why…?"

"Hanji's people…" He began, his thumb caressing the apples of her cheeks in rhythm with his words. "Some of the dust in the explosion got in your eyes, they said. They had to put a solution in your eyes to avoid infection and help them heal. They said this is normal. You'll be alright."

She believed him. It was all she could do.

"What… what happened, how long have I been out?" She spoke again, her throat expelling words with a fierce croak that made her wheeze. He pulled away for a moment and she missed his absence instantly, but when he returned, he was lifting her head and pressing a smooth surface to her lip and pressing water down her parted mouth. The liquid was as soothing as his presence, calming the last of her hysteria and granting a clarity she desperately needed.

It was a curious sensation; the way the water rushed from her mouth, down her throat and into her belly. It was soft, like cool fingers running down through each worn fiber and nerve ending.

"Annie hit and run our little wedding."

"…Wait, we…?"

"Armin's wedding, Mikasa."

She nodded, lifting a few digits to caress his face. With each lift of muscle, a sharp ache followed, but it didn't matter to her. She wanted to touch him.

"I know that. I meant…" She paused, scowling when her fingers met a long strip of gauze spread against his cheek. "You're hurt."

"A scratch," she could feel his breath hit her lips as he chuckled mirthlessly. "Hardly reason enough to get a cot all to myself. Besides, now we match." Her lips twitched in an amused quirk, more so when his index finger found the ridge of scar below her right eye and traced it softly. It was hard to ignore his twisted sense of humor, even now he could make her smile.

"I could scoot over if you want." Levi gave her a short grin; she knew, she could feel it in the way his fingers moved across her face and the way his nose brushed hers.

"You need to rest," he replied, his breath grazing closer to her lips when she felt him tilt his chin forward before her lips were being pressed against in a tight kiss. Warmth rushed through her body at velocities that rivaled and matched the high she got from flying through trees. When he pulled away, she wanted nothing more than to pull him back against her. "Besides," he added and she could feel the smirk growing against her mouth, "You're still mad at me."

"Not anymore…" She whispered in return, hands trembling. "God, I almost lost you…"

"It will take more than a simple building crumbling down to rip us apart," he kissed her again and effectively silencing the growing hysteria the revelation brought. "I didn't fight you and the rest of the world to lose to a flying piece of debris, got that? Anyway, what _did_ you mean?"

Mikasa didn't say anything for a moment, just savored the feeling of his thumbs brushing away the stray tears that escaped her defenses and fell down her temples. His question confused her until she remembered the train of thought that had been derailed by the discovering of his new face wound. A breath filtered in her lips and he was pulling away. A wave of strange exhaustion flowed through her muscles, stopping any movements of protest, but his hand had found berth against hers and so her protests fell with a single sigh.

"I meant," She said, clearing her throat. "Annie—a woman we were convinced was dead—punched a hole through this wedding, my best friend's wedding, and we just…" his hand gave hers a soft squeeze, and even though she was still seeing dark, she shut her eyes. "…We're better than this and we froze. Now, we're stuck cleaning up bodies and rubble while she's…"

There was a moment of silence, pressed between their palms and hidden in every breath they shared. After a few seconds, Mikasa was able to fully recognize the roar that had bothered her previously; it was simply the chatter and far off cries of fellow victims of the attack, echoing behind the closed door of her current location… where was that anyway?

"We're going to get her," Levi swore, softly and almost inaudible over the distant cries of the physically and emotionally wounded. It was at this moment that Mikasa could feel a tingling in her eyes and when she blinked open, she could already begin to notice shapes, blurs, and the faint hint of color. Relief poured through her at gaining the slow grasp of sight, but the dark tone of Levi's declaration dampened whatever inkling to anything more may have brought. She turned her head, just slightly to face the direction of his voice, scent, and presence. Through the thick soup that was the slow return to her vision, Mikasa could distinguish him immediately.

His hair was skewed and sticking in odd angles, cheek covered in gauze while brushes of black and purple stained his temple, under side of his jaw, and deep into his collarbone. His clothes were worse for wear, ripped and dirtied to a state she knew would be driving him mad, yet he sat so still. Everything about him was statuesque, from his posture to the steadiness of his hands over hers. Mikasa blinked, letting eyelashes flutter against her cheeks as her eyes accepted with eager greediness what view her incoming sight was being given. While the sensation of blinking ached and even felt like she was rubbing sandpaper against her corneas, Mikasa dared not hesitate in seeing him, roaming as much as she could over his frame.

Each scratch, bruise and bandage further fed the anger already stirring in her chest. The reminder that not only was this momentous occasion ruined, but it had been done so while their pants were done and unprepared. Mikasa loathed it, loathed all of it. She knew Levi loathed it more. She could sense it in his stillness, breathe it in and let it coil violence through the strings of her muscles.

It was with a final blink that she was finally able to fully see the power of his gaze. It was not directed at her, but it faced down—this was no simple glare reflecting off the gray of his eyes. This was no look of loathing—one she had seen when they had faced off a certain Captain of Levi's past.

If there was any time to see a titan, or a beast, Mikasa was certain that they would have properly cowered at the sheer strength of ferocity hidden within layers of ice blue and steel gray. This was the man they called the Dragon—and only fools stroke the wrath of Dragons.

"I promise you, Mikasa," the promise was steady and spoken with the same calm she knew would only precede a terrible storm. Levi looked up into her eyes, his fingers tightening over hers as she met his gaze as seriously and as decidedly as she knew only she could give. "It is high time that bitch paid her debt in full."

* * *

_TBC_

_If I hit 100 reviews I'll update later this week! See you guys next time! _


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